Intensity (26 page)

Even though I had been in good shape before my incident, the doctors said it could take months for me to rebound. A cerebral contusion and blood loss sent my system in a spiral, resulting in minimal consciousness the entire time I’d been there. Either a dream or reality, I wasn’t sure which, arriving at the hospital and afterward became a blur. Being “out of it” for two weeks resulted in bouts of overwhelming fatigue and stilted movements. Headaches and memory loss, considered “normal,” occurred from the moment I woke up. For some reason, selective bits and pieces of the shooting and surrounding events remain lost, and might never return. Maybe the brain knew best. At least I hadn’t forgotten the most important people. Linc, Mylaynee, and the rest of the group encouraged me to get up and move, so I could get out of the rehab center quicker. Not that I wanted to stay anyway.

Although painful, the puckered and scarring skin from the wound under my right breast looked better each day. My collapsed lung took a while to heal, but it improved too. Orders included a physical therapist to build strength and target conditioning. My movements at first resembled a ninety-year-old behind a walker, but with light weights incorporated in the sessions, I graduated to a dawdling amble. Luckily, the overall prognosis had been positive and the residual effects few. Careful monitoring and every possible test ran at least twice, the doctors discharged me three weeks later.

In typical Fab Five style, the girls hosted a private gathering in the lounge a few days after I returned. I told them not to, especially after what I put them through, but they didn’t listen. As close to a home as I had, this place and each person had come to mean a great deal to me. And Linc, although he had stuck with me through each excruciating moment, took the greatest hit. His constant doting, questions about how I felt, and worry etched into his cautious moves made me heartsick. The parallels between his sister and my unfortunate event put him on edge. He watched me constantly for any little twinge or residual pain. If the tables were turned, and he’d been injured, I would’ve been inconsolable. After everything he’d gone through, I could understand his concern.

No reservations remaining, I realized my purpose here was destined from the start. He needed me, and I knew there wasn’t another man alive who would treasure me or enliven my spirit more. His unending support and the strength he exhibited before and after this ordeal proved his commitment to me. Perhaps a person’s name dictated character and worth after all. Mr. Lincoln Jefferson possessed loyalty, honor, and compassion. Characteristics any woman would be proud to have in the man she loved.

Zoning out as various discussions carried on around me, the first person to pull me back into a conversation had been the one who contributed to my setback.

“You’re looking well, Serena.” Jax plopped into the empty chair next to me, propped an ankle across his knee, and flung an arm around the back of my chair. Mr. Casual instead of Mr. Gigolo still annoyed the heck out of me.

“I’m fine, thanks.” I launched my best blasé reply, catching his smirk out of the corner of my eye and diverting my glance around the room at everyone else but him. Rude I know, but he rubbed me the wrong way.

“Good, if you need anything, let me know.” Ugh! The emphasis he placed on “anything” sent chills up my spine. Mylaynee’s guttural giggle had me shooting her an annoyed scowl. She shook her head and twirled her finger in a cuckoo motion at her temple and mouthed, “Fuckin’ with you.” Jax snatched her by the neck and gave her a noogie.

She slapped his arm away and jerked back in her seat, flicking her mussed hair into place. “Stop messin’ with her already. Haven’t you done enough?”

In slow motion, he turned to me, smiles all gone. His pained stare pierced my heart. “I never told you how sorry I am.” His raspy apology came across as the most sincere emotion I’d ever seen from him. If I learned one thing from this entire experience, life was too short. I didn’t want to spend it angry or resentful.

My hand placed on top of his, I absolved him of any guilt. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Thanks, but I’ll get him.”

“Please don’t. Let the police handle it.” Linc set a hand on my shoulder, butting into the conversation. “He’s not going to do anything, Serena. You don’t need to worry about it, okay? Jax, let it go.” His clipped directive got a stiff nodded reply.

Impeccable timing as always, B.B. snuck up to Linc’s side, petting his arm from shoulder to wrist. “Could I talk to you a minute?”

Oh, hell to the no, this wasn’t happening today. Before I could tell her off, Linc interceded. “What’s the problem?”

“Can we go to your office?”

Yeah, I knew what she wanted.

“Is it business?”

My raised brows couldn’t be missed by anybody at the table. Not a dunce, I couldn’t figure out why he gave her the time of day. Talk about head games, she mastered the class and probably did it on her knees.

“Uh, no. It’s important though.”

Bullshit, wench.

He glanced at me then back to her. “Not now.”

How about never?

When she made her next move, gliding her hand across his chest, I leapt out of my chair, quicker than I’d moved in the last month, and clamped down on her wrist. “Don’t. Touch. Him.”

She quirked a brow at me and glanced around the table, shouting louder than a foghorn. “Or what, Sadrena?” She yanked, trying to free her arm from my iron grip, but I countered by bending her hand at a nearly ninety-degree angle, almost snapping it. Her whimper, a death-defying scream in the silent room.

“I know your secret.” Panic pinched her brow and sweat dotted her forehead. “You’ve been telling tall tales, B.B.” Eye to eye, nose to nose, and shedding all moral dignity, I let it all hang out. “Linc didn’t sleep with you. And he
never
will.” I tossed her arm aside and returned to my man. His arm wound around my hip, pulling me flush to his side.

B.B. stormed out faster than a tornado, tossing out expletives and flinging the door shut. Her trailing squeals echoed in the room after she left.

Adrenaline rush over, I winced from the pain pinching my ribs. Winded from the overexertion, I clutched the chair and sat back down, slow and unsteady. Jax and Mylaynee smirked at each other. Sal, not one for many words, said, “That otta do it.” Fallon, Paulette, and Sage agreed with a resounding, “Yep,” “About time,” and “You go, girl.” All the other employees joined too, eager to get their two cents in.

Linc came up behind me, squeezing my shoulders. “Okay?” I leaned my head against his arm and looked up, frowning and feeling bad about handling the situation that way, even if it had been long overdue. He slid onto my chair, propping me on his lap. “Defending my honor, huh? Watch out, no one better mess with me. I have my own bodyguard now.” His smart-alecky comment got him a pinch to his stomach, and I ground my knuckles in for good measure, making sure he felt every bit of it. Merriment filled the lounge as my exaggerated movements made it apparent to everyone what I’d done.

Mylaynee jumped out of her seat, clapping three times. “Okay, time for cake. We got chocolate, vanilla, and Serena’s favorite, white almond. Speak up now or forever hold your peace,” she shouted. Everyone cheered and yelled orders one after another. The sugar junkies argued over who wanted what piece and the positive mood returned. An entire sheet cake and four gallons of ice cream devoured, no one could be anything but stuffed with blissful happiness.

I heard voices but couldn’t figure out what they said. Their hushed mumbles grew louder. Curious, I got out of bed and threw on a robe, sneaking down the hall toward Linc’s living room. Two distinct males arguing became clearer when I reached the entryway.

Shoot, not again.

I spun around, but the next declaration brought my silent footsteps to a halt.

“You going to propose?”

Dammit, Jax, do you ever shut up!

“Don’t you have an appointment to get to?”

Yeah, B.B.’s waiting to sink her fangs and venom breath into you now that Linc isn’t up for grabs.

“After everything that’s happened, it’s not on your mind?”

“I’m not talking to you about it.”

“Why not?”

“Back the fuck off. You’ve been riding my ass since you got here.”

“Hmm…”

“What?”

“I’ll drop it, man.” Jax’s snickers followed his brisk response.

“Say it then. Stop being a dick.”

“Alright. It’s time to move on. Get the hell out of here, give Serena a home. I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse. Sell me the business.”

“Stop.”

“Why? You stubborn fuck. You still don’t see what’s right in front of you, do you? Come on man, you want this the rest of your life? It’s been
years
, stop punishing yourself.”

“Get out.”

“Linc—”

“Now! Or I’ll throw you the fuck out.”

The door slammed just as the outburst ended.

Shit.

Hunched over with his head buried in his hands, Linc’s over-boiling temper and the tension lining his stiff back pressurized the atmosphere and turned the air in the room to suffocating.

I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he jerked up, anger visible on his flushed face. “Uh…um…” My throat clogged from the pain radiating off him.

“How much did you hear?”

Seated next to him, I positioned my hand on his knee, squeezing it. “Enough.”

He cupped my cheek, and his intense stare held me in place, keeping me silent. “Right now, all that matters is your health. Let’s get you better. Everything else can wait.”

Hello? He couldn’t be serious. “Let’s talk now.”

He sucked in a deep breath and exhaled real slow, inspecting my face, but I didn’t know for what. “Tell me what you want.”

It took me a while to answer. My mind formulating the right words and calculating the pros and cons of venturing into the unknown. “We’ve both lost a lot. Even though it was just Gram and me, I never felt lonely with her at my side. I’d like to have a family and home someday. And I want that for
you
too
.
”

He wandered to the windows, a blank stare cast out to the foggy harbor. Quiet a long time, he redirected his aim at me. A softness unlike any I’d ever seen on his face before replaced his heated one. “You can have it.” Then the rigid lines on his forehead returned as he divulged, “But I can’t…” Closing his eyes, he didn’t bother finishing, pure agony evident in his clenched fists and pinched mouth.

My heart dropped and my body reacted to his, stiffening with dread. Jax’s speech came to me at that moment: “Stop punishing yourself.”

Why didn’t it register before?

No freaking way. I would not let this wonderful, caring man spend one more second torturing himself. Wrapping my arms around him, I placed my head on his back and listened to the steady, powerful beat. My heart breaking for a man determined to be a martyr.

Please, I need to help him. What could I say?

“Linc, have you told your sister how you feel?”

He twisted around, grabbed my shoulders and extended his long arms full length, making the gap between us enormous. The earlier vehemence in his voice returned. “What are you talking about?”

Not sure where the hell that spouted from, I stood there dumbstruck and mute. His face turned redder the longer I stayed silent. The negative vibes coming off him zinged through every cell in my body, pounding in my head and making me woozy.

I had no right.
Why the hell did I say that?

Control and patience gone, he grabbed my upper arms and shook me. “How dare you,” he snapped.

The jolt must have rattled my brain because my mouth opened, sealing my fate. “She wouldn’t want you blaming yourself.” My arms flung out wide as I spoke, encompassing the room, but literally meant the business and what he thought he deserved
.

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. You didn’t know my sister, you didn’t see her beaten, on her death bed. You haven’t spent
years
wishing she got better. Where the fuck do you get off bringing her into this?”

Fury and encompassing pain lightened my head and blurred my vision.