Inspired by Night: - a sexy new age romance (25 page)

‘They’re all great, Dave. Thank you for all your advice this year. I wouldn’t have known where to start.’

‘I hear the baby situation was resolved?’ he whispered, nodding towards Steven at the bar. I nodded.

‘Yes it’s an interesting career choice. She’s lucky he hasn’t reported her.’

‘And what about you? How do you feel about him now?’

‘I think that ship has sailed for both of us.’ I shrugged. ‘We make a brilliant team, though. Chloe just told me she thinks of us as the mum and dad of Inspired!’ Dave laughed.

‘Well, I’ve always thought that you looked great together; there’s something about you both that just seems right. But what do I know?’ He smiled kindly, moving to make room for Steven and James as they returned with drinks for everyone.

‘Hey, Ols, James was just asking how you could’ve forgotten about Christmas?’ I noticed a hint of red flush across James’ cheeks. Dave looked amused.

‘You forgot about Christmas?’ He asked confusion filling his face.

I pursed my lips together while Steven explained.

‘Ols forgot about planning a Christmas do for everyone.’

‘Luckily Steven was on hand to save the day, but apparently not my embarrassment.’ I looked at him pointedly and he stuck his tongue out at me.

‘Well then, Ol, it’s a fair question, how could you have forgotten about Christmas?’ Dave asked.

‘I don’t celebrate Christmas.’ I shrugged, I took in the horrified expression on everyone’s face and shrugged, ‘I’m not saying I don’t like it, I do. I love Christmas. It’s great, but I don’t celebrate it any more.’

‘Is that a religious thing?’ James asked frowning.

‘Oh God, no!’ I shook my head. ‘My folks died in a car accident six years ago. I have one brother, but he lives in Australia. I don’t have any other family, and apart from Ruth, I don’t really have any friends either.’

Dave nudged me.

‘Hey, you have us, we’re your friends.’

I smiled up at him gratefully. ‘Oh, I know that, but you know what I mean. I don’t have a Christmas Day. I mean, I have no one to pull a cracker with. No one to swap presents with. Christmas Day is just any other bank holiday to me.’ I realised I had completely destroyed the mood around our table and tried to lighten it, ‘but you know what? One day I’ll be married with kids and Christmas will be the best day of the year again.’ I raised my pint glass, ‘here’s to two weeks off work!’ All of my staff cheered and the mood was restored. Dave made his way around the table, stopping to chat to various people and introducing himself to my new team members. Steven slid closer to me and took hold of my hand.

‘Spend Christmas with me, Ols?’

I shook my head, I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me and under any obligation to invite me to his family Christmas.

‘I’m fine, Steven, I haven’t spent Christmas with anyone since my brother moved to Australia three years ago. It’s really no big deal at all, I’ll watch loads of TV and play video games. I’m still only halfway through
Lego Batman
.’

‘I can’t stand the thought of you being on your own on Christmas Day, Ols.’

‘Even after I just told you how I’ll spend it? You wish you were spending it the same way, go on admit it.’

He grinned, despite the concern on his face.

‘Well sure, sometimes the family thing gets a bit intense after a few hours but I wouldn’t miss it, Ols. Please will you join me, my folks would love to meet you.’

‘Can I think about it?’ I asked, trying to change the subject.

He smiled nodding enthusiastically.

‘Of course, I’ll be driving up there on Christmas Eve so let me know by Wednesday.’

I wished I could speak to Chris. I wasn’t sure what to do. I guessed there was no harm in spending the holiday with Steven. It would be nice to be a part of a family Christmas again, but I wasn’t sure if it meant something more. Today had felt so much like those first few weeks with Steven, I was confused about how I was feeling towards him and unsure about his feelings towards me. I didn’t want to get drawn into feeling something for him again, especially given my situation with Chris. I knew it was silly to even compare the two men, Steven was right here, right now, I knew him, trusted him, cared for him. Chris was far away, a voice on a computer, seeing him had been strange, I almost wished he hadn’t got the camera, he was right about the imagination being powerful, I had preferred the fantasy to the reality. Not that Chris wasn’t attractive, he was, but would I really choose him over Steven? Or did I just want to experience amazing sex, just once, before I embarked on a real relationship?

‘Do you know what I really want right now?’ I heard the slight slur in my voice as I spoke. Steven’s eyes lit up with amusement as he shook his head. ‘I want to go dancing.’

I stood up addressing the rest of the table, ‘I’m going downstairs to dance, who’s with me?’ Maria, Chloe, and Steph all stood up. The boys looked at each other. Steven stood up, followed by Colin.

‘OK, then. Mike, James, Dave, have a great weekend, see you on Monday.’

I hugged each of them in turn and lead the way downstairs to The Underworld.

Chapter Thirty

The club hadn’t been open long but was already heaving with office Christmas party revellers. Steven found a table by the bar and set up camp while Colin was at the bar.

I followed Chloe to the dance-floor as Madonna filled the air. Chloe was in the middle of a group of dancers when I caught up with her, she seemed to know some of them and they welcomed me into the circle, I felt a hand on my waist and a body pressed up against mine. I guessed it was Steven and turned around. It wasn’t Steven. I was staring into a set of the most piercing blue eyes I’d ever seen. Long curled eyelashes made his eyes sparkle. They were breath-taking. His hair was long, tied back in a ponytail. His hand was still on my waist and he pulled me closer to him, pushing his knee between my legs and rotating his hips. He lifted my arm and placed it around his neck, smiling seductively at me. He had a perfect set of teeth; his smile was as dazzling as his eyes. Before I knew what was happening he was spinning me away from him. My hand slipped from his and I crashed into someone, I felt strong arms around me, steadying me. I looked up into Steven’s eyes, smiling at me, and felt the familiar rush of affection for him. He released me and I beckoned him to follow me to our group. Blue Eyes tapped me on the shoulder as the song came to an end, and offered to buy me a drink. I shrugged and nodded. He motioned for me to follow him.

Steven caught my arm as I was following him off the dance-floor, he looked uncomfortable.

‘Where are you going?’ He handed me a bottle of lager.

‘I think I’ve pulled.’ I giggled.

‘Stay away from that guy, Olly, he’s no good.’

I shrugged him off, my sober self telling me I should listen to him, but my inebriated self was enjoying the attention I’d been getting on the dance-floor and didn’t see the harm in allowing this mildly attractive man to keep me company.

‘I’m fine, Steven don’t you worry about me, I can take care of myself.’ I turned towards the bar but he stopped me again, insistent,

‘Please, Olly, it’s late, it’s time to make a move, I’ll walk you home.’

I shook my head, shrugged his arm off me, and made my way to the bar.

Just as I reached the bar and located Blue Eyes, my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I shot him an apologetic look and dug my phone out. I didn’t recognise the number and usually I would ignore unknown numbers but because I’d had a few drinks I decided to answer it.

‘Hello?’ I shouted down the phone.

‘Hey.’

His voice caught me by surprise and I shivered. I would recognise that voice anywhere, soft but strong. I closed my eyes; it felt like a long time since I’d heard that voice. ‘Are you there?’ he asked.

‘Yes.’ My voice cracked as I spoke and I cleared my throat. ‘Yes, why are you ringing me?’ I strained to hear his response but the music was overpowering. The guy at the bar was watching me impatiently and I debated whether to just hang up and pretend the phone got cut off but I was curious and excited at the sound of his voice.

‘I’m going to head outside, I can’t hear what you’re saying.’ I said. The guy at the bar tuned his back on me, ignoring me, and I felt a stab of disappointment – that was the most attention I’d had for years. I weaved my way through the crowd to the entrance and stepped outside into the cool air and the relative quiet.

‘Hi,’ I said into the phone.

‘Hi yourself.’ There was a slight teasing tone to his soft voice.

‘What were you saying?’

‘I was saying maybe you should go outside so you can hear me.’ I laughed.

‘So why are you ringing me? Did Steven tell you to call?’ I groaned.

‘Steven? No, why would he? Have you got yourself into some kind of trouble? Liv, are you OK?’ I could hear the concern in his voice.

‘Why do you care?’ I asked, a scornful note creeping into my words.

‘Liv, of course I care.’ I felt my heart beat a touch faster. He cared about me? ‘So why was Steven worried about you?’ I gave a small laugh and sighed.

‘Some guy started dancing and flirting with me, he offered to buy me a drink and I followed him off the dance-floor. Steven tried to stop me, don’t know why, but I ignored him.’

Chris was silent. I looked at my phone to check we were still connected and listened again.

‘Are you still there?’ I asked quietly. He cleared this throat.

‘Yes.’ He paused. ‘I was just surprised, I guess, but I shouldn’t be, we worked hard to improve your self-confidence, to understand your body and your sexuality, it’s only natural you would want to go get laid,’ he teased. ‘It would seem I’ve gotten quite used to the idea that you’re mine, I was disappointed that someone else would get to fuck you.’ He laughed again.

I felt the familiar tingle through my body. What was it about the way he said “fuck” that sounded so erotic? And he thinks of me as his … My stomach did a somersault and I whispered, ‘But why can’t it be you?’ I cringed at the childish whine that had entered my voice. ‘When I come to Edinburgh,’ I reminded him about our vague plan. Chris sighed.

‘We can’t, babe, I don’t think visiting is a good idea. It couldn’t go any further and that wouldn’t be fair on either of us,’ he said gently, his voice sounding kind and firm at the same time. I felt a stab of disappointment.

‘Sure, I understand,’ I hissed ‘you’re happy to watch me pleasure myself but you don’t want to touch me.’

‘Oh, Liv, of course I want to touch you.’ His voice changed, taking on the commanding voice I had come to love. ‘Don’t you think I want it to be me? When I tell you to imagine my hands, don’t you know I want it to be my hands running up your thigh, my fingers trailing across that paltry amount of material that make up those lacy thongs you wear?’

I smiled to myself glad that he would never see the pants I was wearing tonight. He saw my costume, I wasn’t myself for him, I was playing the role of a more vibrant, sexually confident, and carefree woman. I would never have imagined wearing sexy underwear but as soon as I pulled the skimpy lace over my hips I felt transformed. I bit my lip and remained silent as he continued speaking softly, almost sadly.

‘I want to feel you, I want to taste your tongue in my mouth, feel your lip being tugged gently between my teeth, to graze soft kisses along your jawline, and feel the soft flesh of your ear between my lips. I want to feel your nipples harden against my teeth and feel the flat hard end against my tongue.’

I realised I was holding my breath and slowly, quietly exhaled. I glanced around, suddenly embarrassed that people might be able to hear his words and know the changes happening in my body. I gripped the kerbside railing for support and resisted the urge to brush my hand across my breast. He continued his aural torture.

‘I want to rip the strings on your thong and tear the pointless material away from your body, I want to feel you quiver as I tease your clitoris and I want to feel your juice on my fingers, I want you to taste yourself on them and want to feel your whole body as it tenses around my cock, pushing in and out, filling you and releasing you. I want to feel your orgasm shudder through your body, around me and in my arms.’ He paused and I sensed him smiling. ‘Are you blushing?’ he teased. I swallowed and inhaled slowly.

‘Yes,’ I whispered, ‘and I wish I wasn’t stood on the corner of Camden High Street next to a taxi rank and a pair of burly bouncers.’

Chris chuckled. It was a sound I had grown to love.

‘Maybe you should get in a taxi and make your way home?’ He suggested.

‘Or maybe I should go back inside and find someone to fuck me?’ I murmured.

Chris was silent, and when he spoke, his voice was strained. ‘Well, if that’s what you want, of course.’

‘No that’s not what I want. I want what you just described.’ I cringed at the pleading sound of my voice. He sighed again.

‘Liv, my love, it can’t be. Be realistic, it wouldn’t work. Suppose you come to visit me and we have the most amazing sex, it would be a one-time thing. And what if once wasn’t be enough? We both have very separate lives, it’s not possible to have more than what we have and it’s not fair on either of us to try.’

‘Well in that case, what we have now isn’t fair either.’ I shot back angrily. I was feeling frustrated, physically and emotionally, mixed with a drunken sense of outrage.

‘Perhaps you’re right, love. I will leave that up to you to decide. You know where I am if you want to play.’

I was speechless. Just like that? He just said he thought of me as his and yet he’s releasing me so easily?

‘OK, if that’s what you want.’ I tried to inject as much indifference into my statement as I could. He chuckled.

‘So quick to be offended, Liv. I will be online every night hoping you will be there too. But I don’t want to prevent you from going out there and meeting someone. You are still the same person, Liv, you still have the same needs. You still want to meet someone special, find love, find Mr Right, get your little house in the country. I can’t give you any of that. As much as it pains me to say it, if it’s best for your happiness, I will end our communication. But if you need it, for your confidence then I’m always there to help you.’