Inspired by Night: - a sexy new age romance (12 page)

I loosened my grip on his shoulders and reached across to the table, handing him his cup of tea. He wouldn’t meet my eye but thanked me and took a sip. He kept his head bowed but I could see he was looking at me, not quite able to lift his gaze to my eyes. Finally he spoke.

‘Fucking Melissa,’ he spat viciously.

‘Literally,’ I teased. He looked up at me in horror.

‘This isn’t a joke, Ols. I seriously have no idea how to get rid of her. It was the same routine, but I was determined I wasn’t going home with her. She asked me to just have one drink with her and went to the bar. She promised she’d go away after that. But then Dave got another round in, I kept drinking, to avoid talking to her more than anything. I remember going to the bar and she followed me, I think we started arguing. In my wisdom I followed her into the toilets to avoid making a scene, but ended up giving in to her advances. I had no idea anyone saw us. When I woke up Saturday morning, with a killer hangover, I was just so happy I was alone in my own bed. I knew I hadn’t completely avoided her but it felt like progress somehow.’

‘Ever considered a restraining order?’

‘Seriously, what am I going to say? I want this girl to stop turning up and making me fuck her?’

‘She’s stalking you, making it difficult for you to live your life. I mean it’s not a particularly enticing prospect is it? Date me, don’t mind my crazy stalker who I occasionally fuck in public toilets when she pisses me off, I doesn’t mean anything, it’s you I love.’ His eyes met mine for the first time and disappointment registered in them. I nudged him. ‘Come on, what’s done is done. Not the first time you’ve shagged Melissa, probably won’t be the last time either if she has her way.’

‘I wish you’d been there.’ His voice was heavy with remorse.

‘But what could I have done?’

‘You would have helped me run away while she was at the bar.’ I felt a brief flutter of guilt but dismissed it. This was not my doing. Melissa needed to be dealt with but it wasn’t my problem to deal with.

‘I think reporting her is the only thing you can do. I’d at least avoid going the same pub on Friday night.’ He filled his cheeks and puffed a breath out, shaking his head.

‘I’m not going out this week. No chance,’ he glanced up at me and smiled sadly, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘What are you apologising for?’ I was still confused by this.

‘I’m trying to prove you can trust me. Then I go do something stupid like this.’

‘You have nothing to apologise for, you are a single man, you can do whatever you want with whoever you choose. It’s nothing to do with me.’ I was secretly pleased to see that he looked disappointed by my assessment. I took pity on him. ‘I’ll admit to feeling a little bit jealous, but that’s not your problem. I need to snap you up before someone else does, right?’ I tried to tease a smile out of him and eventually I succeeded. ‘But until then, you’re fair game and it’s none of my business.’

Chapter Thirteen

I handed Ruth a beer that evening and curled up on the opposite end of the sofa from her. I’d filled her in on everything that had happened with Steven so far and she was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

‘Told you I’d make you look hot, didn’t I?’

‘That’s the main thing you got from my story?’ I laughed. She looked at me with mock confusion.

‘Well yeah, that was the main point, wasn’t it?’ she grinned at me and raised her bottle to clink mine. ‘Progress, at least now you’re admitting you like him even if you won’t do anything about it.’

‘It’s the right thing to do.’

‘But you already know you’re going to go for it eventually right? He sounds amazing.’ I knew she meant he sounded amazing for me and I agreed with her.

‘I don’t know. People change. He might lose interest in me in next to no time at all and my caution will have saved me a lot of heartache.’ It was a relief to be able to talk about my feelings; get them out and examine them properly.

‘He doesn’t sound particularly fickle. And he seems certain, he must know his own mind, surely?’ I shrugged.

‘Haven’t we all fallen in love and believed it was the “one” as soon as it happened, only to lose interest in them a few months later?’ I reasoned. Ruth rolled her eyes, ‘and he’s young, remember?’

‘But when you know, you just know.’ She regarded me for a moment, searching my expression, ‘do you know?’ she asked, referring to whether I felt something more for Steven than I was admitting. I closed my eyes and searched my feelings.

‘I see him in my future. I’m doing a lot of planning at work and I see him being a big part of it.’ I shrugged. I doubted if that meant anything.

‘I want to meet him. Are you having drinks after work this week?’ Her eyes were sparkling with excitement and mischief. I shook my head and she pouted.

‘After Friday night I doubt he’ll go out in Camden for a while.’ I reminded her.

‘Not even if you’re there to protect him?’ She wheedled, staring at me with big eyes full of hope. I rolled my eyes. She was so difficult to say ‘no’ to. And it would be good to get her opinion of him. Ruth is much more observant than I am, she notices those imperceptible signals people give off, the looks when they think no one is watching … Ruth is always looking, she doesn’t miss a thing. She’s an excellent judge of character.

‘OK I’m not planning for it, if the subject comes up I will agree to go for a drink with him and let you know where we are.’ She grinned satisfied.

‘What are you going to wear?’ She disappeared into my bedroom and I heard her rummaging through my wardrobe. I held my breath while I waited for her to find the old clothes I promised to throw away, but she returned with a couple of hangers. ‘You should wear these. You’ll look really pretty.’

‘Just a drink after work, he’ll find it odd if I suddenly dress up on a Friday.’ I eyed the outfit dubiously. It was pretty though, long tailored shorts and a layered vest. It wasn’t too dressy, but it was nicer than what I usually wore to the office. Maybe it would be nice to make an effort, make sure it was me he was looking at, even if Melissa did turn up and start jerking him off under the table. I shuddered at the thought.

‘Did you hear any more from vampire guy?’ She asked, dragging me away from my thoughts.

‘Who?’

‘The guy with no photos, Chris?’

‘Ah the mysterious Chris Knight. He actually has loads of photos but none of them are tagged so I’m none the wiser as to which one he is. There is a photo of Steven with someone who I’m assuming is Chris, hoping actually, he’s pretty hot!’

‘Like celebrity crush hot?’ She asked, grinning.

‘He looks moody, like Angel.’

‘So he is a vampire!’ She laughed, ‘have you heard from him again?’

‘Yes, he’s helping me lose some weight in fact.’ Ruth raised her eyebrows, impressed as I continued, ‘He’s a fitness instructor. Well actually he’s a law student, he lived with Steven in Edinburgh for two years.’

‘Interesting.’ She whispered as I nodded in agreement.

‘Indeed. Anyway he’s been advising me about exercise and diet.’

‘So what is he like?’ She asked interested, and mildly amused that I suddenly had two men in my life to talk about.

‘He’s a bit forward. Asks a lot of personal questions and stuff.’

‘Such as?’

‘Well he asked me about sex and stuff and,’ I couldn’t even say the word, Ruth was waiting with anticipation, ‘masturbation! He sent me a vibrator. To my office. Steven opened the post!’ Saying it out loud made it seem a lot funnier a week after. Ruth’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened before she roared with laughter, ‘Chris said Steven would’ve been turned on by the thought of me using it.’ I shook my head grimacing, ‘in actual fact he looked completely mortified!’ I joined her in laughter for a while as the memory crossed my mind. I’d been absolutely stunned and couldn’t even look at Steven but looking back it was quite funny. We calmed ourselves except for an occasional sniff of laughter.

‘If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years about men, it’s that they know what they like. If he says Steven would be thinking about you using it, you can damn well bet your money on it.’

‘I hope he shaves a few pounds off me in his mind, I don’t want him picturing this body!’ I laughed.

‘Does this Chris guy sound like he knows what he’s talking about?’

‘Well he’s thirty-two and he sleeps with his clients to make them feel good!’ I raised an eyebrow sceptically at her. She giggled.

‘So yes, pretty experienced then?’ She stated.

‘He said he’s in the business of making women feel good about their bodies and if that means fucking them then it’s all part of the service.’

‘Wow, what a hero!’

‘Suits him I suppose, he’s too busy for a girlfriend but wants to get laid a lot.’

‘I wonder if his clients all wear skimpy gym gear once they start shaping up a bit. I bet they start out in oversized sweat pants and baggy T-shirts. That, to me, is what the gym is like. It smells of sweat and it’s a bit gross.’ She wrinkled her nose up.

‘Yeah but I bet you wear the skimpy stuff, making us fatties jealous.’ I teased her. She shrugged guiltily.

‘I suppose if you had this handsome fit guy showing you how to work out, pressing up against you as he guides your movements, you’d probably get a bit turned on. Brilliant incentive to keep going back, and to get in shape to attract him.’

‘He said once he’s screwed them they stop flirting with him, like they’ve achieved everything they wanted and don’t need him anymore.’

‘Or he’s really shit in bed!’ She suggested. I pondered on that suggestion for a few minutes then dismissed it.

‘As he’s virtually unreal, I’m going to assume he’s really handsome and amazing in bed. He offered to explain how to use the vibrator.’ I giggled.

‘Oh let him! That would be hilarious.’

‘It’s so embarrassing, I feel my face flush every time I chat with him.’

‘Well it has been a long time, Olly, it’s natural you’d be a little, frigid.’ I gasped.

‘I think repressed was the word we decided on.’ I grumbled. She giggled again.

‘Maybe this Chris will liberate you and turn you into a wanton sex machine ready to pounce on Steven.’

‘Whenever I think about sex with Steven I feel sick.’ I said sadly. Ruth looked horrified, ‘with nerves, I mean.’

‘Oh well that makes sense,’ she shrugged.

‘I can’t remember what to do. It’s so long ago, I don’t even remember if I ever enjoyed sex. And I hate my body and I don’t know what he will expect.’ I could feel panic rising just thinking about it, ‘Pubic hair? Should there be pubic hair?’ I asked desperately, ‘should it be shaved, trimmed, or natural?’

‘Erm, well,’ her eyes flickered briefly towards my crotch and she frowned. I laughed.

‘I’m not saying I haven’t groomed since I last got naked with a guy, because obviously it would be down to my knees by now. But how trimmed should it be. Completely bare? Trimmed short? How does Andrew like it?’ Andrew was her husband, they’d been married two years and met when they were at university. She shrugged.

‘Andrew likes it however it’s presented to him.’ She smiled and shook her head at my questions. I’d never had the guts to ask such questions before, but if there was anyone I could ask it was Ruth, ‘I suppose as a general rule, you don’t want to be transporting a pant moustache but stubble is probably a bit painful on their bollocks,’ she shrugged, ‘so maybe a little hair is good?’

As she was leaving Ruth hugged me and after scrutinising my face she said ‘I’m glad you’re getting back out there. I think even talking about sex with Chris will give you more confidence about it, you’ll be fine when it happens.’ I nodded, but still, just the suggestion of it brought thousands of butterflies swarming into my belly.

I went to bed thinking about it. I had been so busy over the last few years, so dedicated to my work that sex hadn’t crossed my mind. Apart from my over active noisy neighbour, but that was merely a disturbance, it didn’t make me want sex particularly, just the intimacy of being close to someone. Lately though, I was feeling things I’d not felt in a long time. Since Steven had arrived I found myself feeling aroused and it was building up, winding me up, and I felt ready to explode. It was becoming difficult to concentrate, my mind was constantly drifting, exploring scenarios that lead to us falling into each other’s arms and making love. My mind drifted to the vibrator. I’d brought it home because I was worried it might get misplaced during the move, I should have just thrown it away but something compelled me to throw it in my bag. It was still in the packaging, hidden in my bedside cabinet.

I opened the drawer and pulled the box out. My nose wrinkled in disgust. Surely it couldn’t hurt to just take it out of the box, though? I held the cool moulded plastic in my hand. It was heavier than I expected, felt smooth and hard. I pressed the button at the end and it started buzzing gently, with a slight vibration. I felt stupid lying there holding a vibrating stick in my hand and even more stupid when I moved it down my body towards my crotch. My body jumped as it reached the lower edge of my pubic bone heading towards my clitoris. Hundreds of sensations fizzled through my body, my lower back, my legs, all rushing to one point. I held the vibrator against me for a few moments, my breathing becoming shallow. My hips started instinctively moving, trying to grind more sensation. I pressed the button again and the vibrations increased. My body convulsed at the sensations as I moved the vibrator back and forth against me. I felt the sensation building and building inside me, tingling through my body rushing to the same point, every nerve concentrating on one spot at the centre of attention. The sensation was building, growing bigger with each roll of my hips, grinding my clitoris against the shaft of the vibrator. My orgasm burst out, I let out a gasp as it broke like a wave, my hips bucking and grinding myself against the vibrations wringing every last sensation out of my body. It lasted a long time, far longer than any orgasm I’d ever experienced before. My body was exhausted, my breath ragged. I allowed myself to enjoy a moment of awe and wonder before the inevitable guilt and shame kicked in. I marvelled at how quick it had been. I felt elated. Perhaps it had simply been so long that it was necessary, no guilt needed. No guilt came.