Insider (Exodus End #1) (26 page)

“And you’re about to get that way.”

He kissed her neck, and an excited breath escaped her. Obviously encouraged by her response, he moved his mouth to her throat to suckle there, his tongue swirling in chaotic patterns against her tender flesh. Good God! Why did that feel so good? Logan’s mouth was on her neck, not at her breast, not between her thighs, and yet Toni was paralyzed by pleasure.

“Mmm,” Logan murmured against her throat. “I think I’ve discovered a new erogenous zone.”

He nipped her skin, and her entire body jerked. “Oh!” she gasped.

“Got yourself a vampire fetish?” he asked with a chuckle.

“What?” she managed to say. “No, of course not. Vampires aren’t real.”

“But I’m all about bringing your fantasies to life, babe. If you want to be banged by a sparkling dick, I’ll go get the glitter.”

She shook her head slightly, confused. She had no idea what he was referring to. “Wait. What? Why would your dick sparkle if you’re a vampire?”

“I’m a modern-day vampire. The kind that sparkles in the sun instead of bursting into flames.”

She laughed. “You’ve seen
Twilight
?”

He arched a brow at her. “Do I look like the kind of guy who would watch that girly shit?”

She bit her lip, not sure if she’d insulted him.

“Yeah, I’ve seen it,” he said. “Twice.”

“Twice?” She didn’t know why the admission surprised her so much.

“I watch all kinds of movies. The bus gets pretty boring, you know. But don’t tell the guys what I’m watching on my phone. They think I’m looking at porn.”

She laughed and hugged him. “You’re full of surprises.”

“Do you like surprises?”

“I like
your
surprises,” she gushed. “I love everything about you.”

His teasing smile faded, and his blue-eyed gaze locked on hers.

Crap! What was she saying? She was sure to push him away if he had any idea how much she already liked him. “I mean, I like everything about you as a
friend
,” she said.

He blinked, and his gaze shifted to her forehead. “Yeah,” he said flatly. “Friend.”

Did he not even want her in that capacity?

He took a deep breath, and his hands tightened on her ass. “So do you want the sparkle treatment or just plain dick?”

She laughed, glad the moment of tension between them had faded. She really needed to watch what came gushing out of her mouth. “Plain dick is fine.”

“Good, because I think we’re out of glitter and I need to be inside you right now.”

Toni flushed with pleasure. She’d never felt truly wanted before. People in her life needed her regularly—her sister, her mother, and she supposed even her editor, though there would be no admittance of that by Susan—but no one except Logan had ever made her feel the heady rush of being wanted. Or of wanting. She was certain his wants were purely sexual, but she wanted more than his body. She wanted his heart. The realization terrified her because she knew it would never belong to her in the capacity she desired and she was only setting herself up for heartache.

“Take your clothes off,” he said.

“Aren’t the others—”

“Toni.”

The mere utterance of her name in that tone made her throb with want. Maybe even need.

“Yes?” She looked up at him, and he removed her glasses, tossing them on the sofa.

“Take your clothes off.”

Her fingers trembled as she lifted them to unfasten the topmost button of her blouse. She stared at his slightly blurry shoulder, unable to meet his eyes, though she wasn’t sure why she was so embarrassed after all the intimate moments they’d shared over the past day.

“Look at me,” he demanded.

Her fingers went still on her buttons, and she forced her gaze to his. Her heart fluttered at the smoldering intensity in his pale blue eyes.

“Take your clothes off,” he repeated again.

She lowered her gaze and unfastened another button.

“Can’t you look at me and take your clothes off at the same time?”

She shook her head. “I can’t do anything but stare when I look at you,” she admitted, her blush spreading down her throat. “My fingers won’t work.”

“Try. I want you to see how much you turn me on.”

She so admired him for knowing what he wanted and being able to ask for it. Would she ever be that bold? Or would she always be the one being told how to act and respond? Not that she minded. It was strangely exciting to be told to undress.

She forced her gaze upward to meet his and somehow found a steady enough hand to unfasten the button between her breasts. Logan’s gaze darted down to her cleavage, now on display, and he licked the corner of his mouth before gnawing on his lips as if placating them from the feast he denied them.

A bit more confident in her actions—seeing that he was affected by her body, even if he seemed to be calling all the shots—she released the next button and the next. When she ran out of buttons on her blouse, she unfastened the one at the waist of her long skirt and then slowly unzipped the suddenly constrictive garment. The skirt slid from her hips to land in a heap at her feet. Logan was still staring at her cleavage. She was used to people staring at her boobs. They were enormous by any standards, but she wasn’t used to liking the attention they garnered for her. She typically tried to hide them, though even the loosest sweaters became form-fitting on her and all her button-down shirts had to be tailored so they didn’t gap between her boobs while simultaneously billowing like a circus tent around the waist.

“Do you like them?” she asked, glancing down at the swell of her breasts above the cups of her not-so-sexy bra. She’d usually went for comfort and durability in the undergarment department, but she was suddenly longing for something skimpy, lacy, and red to show off what Logan obviously considered her best feature. So strange that she wanted to fuel his desire when she’d spent her life trying to understate her natural assets.

“What?” he said, his eyes flicking up to meet hers briefly before focusing on her breasts again.

“My boobs. Do you like them?”

He shook his head slowly, never taking his eyes off her cleavage. “Like is not a strong enough word.”

She grinned and reached behind her back to unfasten her bra. Logan groaned when she slipped the straps from her shoulders and tossed the garment onto the back of the sofa. Her nipples were already stiff from the excitement his riveted stare offered her. Their sudden exposure to the chill in the room hardened them to uncomfortable points.

“Touch them,” Logan whispered. All the command had gone out of his tone. His words were more a plea than a request.

“You touch them.”

And he did. His hands cupped her heavy breasts, lifting them, massaging them, allowing them to drop, pressing them together. He couldn’t take his eyes off them. She felt a strange rush of empowerment.

“Take your clothes off,” she demanded. Her confident tone didn’t give away the twinges of nerves in her belly. She wasn’t sure what she would do if he refused. Should she play hard to get to gain his cooperation? She would definitely be playing. But she didn’t need to worry. He released her breasts long enough to hastily shed his clothes and then filled his palms with them once more, his thumbs and forefingers pinching at her nipples. Her body jerked as pleasure radiated through her breasts and down her belly. She gasped in surprise when her pussy throbbed with anticipation.

Logan prodded her in the hip with his stiff cock. “Touch it.”

She almost told him to touch it himself, but somehow the thought of watching him rubbing the length of his cock with the same hands he had on her breasts was far naughtier than touching it herself.

“You’re blushing,” he said, and she lifted her head to find him grinning at her. “What are you thinking? Dirty thoughts?”

“I can’t say,” she said, her heart suddenly thudding.

“You can tell me anything.”

She wet her lips and stared at his shoulder as she said, “I was thinking about you touching yourself.”

“Masturbating?”

Her eyes widened, and she shook her head. “No, just touching it. Not, not making yourself . . .” She swallowed hard as she remembered the look on his face when he came. “Do you do that?”

He chuckled. “Sometimes. Do you want to watch me jerk off, Toni?”

She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to handle it. And wouldn’t he be embarrassed for her to witness something so shameful? She hadn’t realized she’d asked the question aloud until he answered.

“You think it’s shameful?”

She stared up at him, not sure how to respond. Didn’t he think it was shameful?

“You masturbate, don’t you?”

“Of course not!” she said. But her denial was a complete lie. She masturbated on occasion, but she didn’t want anyone—not even Logan—to know she was so desperate for sexual release that she gave it to herself.

“You’re kidding.”

She shook her head vigorously, though she couldn’t meet his eyes. She knew he’d see right through her lies.

“Not even in the shower?”

“Sometimes it feels good when I clean myself down there.” She covered her mouth with her hand, unable to believe she’d just told him that. Next she’d be telling him about her infatuation with the massaging showerhead.

“So you never had an orgasm before I gave you one?”

“Um . . .” she said, frustrated by the entire conversation. Yes, she’d had orgasms, but after being with him and seeing how explosive getting off could be, she wasn’t sure those little ripples of pleasure she gave herself—or the showerhead gave her—really counted.

He gaped at her as if he were talking to the biggest idiot on the planet. “You really don’t know how to get yourself off?”

She shrugged. “Nothing prepared me for the things you do to my body.” That was not a lie, at least.

“Don’t you talk about these kinds of things with your girlfriends?”

“I don’t really have any female friends my own age.” Even Julian was several years older than her and even though he was gay, he was still technically a guy. It was embarrassing for her to admit how abnormal her social life was, but she honestly didn’t have the opportunity to interact with many people. And she’d certainly never had a close enough relationship with another woman to discuss the ins and outs of masturbation and orgasms. Did women really talk about such things?

“What about the Internet? Surely, you’ve watched some porn.”

Toni scowled at him. “Of course I’ve watched porn. What do you think I am, a nun living in a cave?”

Logan’s jaw dropped, and then he laughed before hugging her closer. “Lord, woman, I do love you.” She felt his heart thud hard against her chest. “I mean as a friend.”

“Stop doing that!” she demanded.

He released her so abruptly that she had to take a step backward to regain her balance.

“Did I hurt you?”

She covered her aching heart with one hand. “Yes, it does hurt. I’d rather you never say it than have you keep saying it and then take it back.”

He covered his mouth with one hand, a worried crease above his brow.

“I understand that you probably say I love you to every woman that you, that you
bang
, but—”

“But I don’t. I haven’t said it to anyone for a very long time. I don’t know why it keeps slipping out.”

At first Toni was stunned that he hadn’t said it to every woman he’d ever had sex with. And then she was strangely jealous of every woman he
had
said it to in the past. Because he’d probably meant it then. And he obviously didn’t mean it now.

“You’ve been in love before?” she asked, a hint of accusation in her voice.

“Well, yeah, what do you think I am, a nun living in a cave?”

She laughed and shook her head at him. He was about as different from a nun in a cave as Toni was from him. “What was her name?”

He grinned crookedly. “It’s not important. Besides, I can’t remember it with your bare tits jiggling so enticingly before my eyes.”

He stepped closer and cupped her breasts in his hands once again.

“My tits do not jiggle,” she said defensively.

He shook his hands back and forth, proving that her tits did in fact jiggle.

“
Logan
. Stop.”

He stopped and caught her gaze with his. “Why?”

“Because.”

He lifted an eyebrow at her.

“Because it’s not sexy.”

“It’s sexy to me,” he said. And to prove it, he lowered his head to draw the flat of his tongue over her nipple. “Besides, sex isn’t always sexy. Sometimes it’s messy. Sometimes it’s fun. Sometimes it’s boring.”

“Boring?” She couldn’t imagine sex ever being boring. Truthfully, it was the most exciting thing she’d ever done.

“If you allow it to become too monotonous.”

“I won’t.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” he said. Then he and sucked her nipple into his mouth. She clung to his head, delighting in the gentle tug at her breast.

She gasped when he released her abruptly and spun her to face the opposite direction. He took her hands in his—his palms against the backs of her hands—and coaxed her into touching her breasts.

“If these were mine, I’d never get anything done,” he whispered into her ear. “I’d play with them constantly.”

“They are yours.”

He went still, and she held her breath as she waited for his response. “Open your legs, Toni,” was not what she had expected him to say.

She spread her legs, and he shifted behind her so that his cock slid between her thighs.

“Now close them.”

She scrunched her brow in confusion, but she did what he said. He hadn’t steered her wrong yet.

“Your body is so soft,” he said, and she stiffened at the sudden pain in her heart. She’d always considered her soft chubbiness one of her failings. “It feels spectacular.” He worked his cock between her thighs, his breath hitching in her ear. She squeezed her thighs together, and he gasped. “This needs to be about your pleasure too,” he murmured before directing her palms down her belly. “I’ll show you how to touch yourself.”

“I know how to do that,” she admitted, but somehow as he pressed her finger into her cleft and rubbed it against her clit, the movement was far more pleasurable and exciting than any of her previous attempts at self-gratification.