Inside Heat (15 page)

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he wished he could take them back. He thought this was what a spent condom must feel like, limp, used-up and unwanted. Deflated, he sank back into the chair he’d vacated earlier. His head felt like a lead weight dragging his shoulders down. His elbows dug into his thighs as he sat hunched over, staring at his shoes. Christ, he was falling apart.

“Forget about McCree for the moment,” Doyle said in his calm manager voice. “Let’s talk about Megan. She’s the woman who’s been living with you and Jason for the last year or so?”

His head shot up and his gaze locked on Doyle. “How do you know about Megan?”

“Do you think there isn’t anything I don’t know about your life? I know you both sleep with her, and I know you do a damned good job of keeping your private lives private.”

“Obviously, we don’t do a good enough job. How did you find out?”

Doyle shrugged. “I’m an observer. It’s what I do. I watch my players on the field and off. Neither one of you date. You never bring a woman to any of the team functions, and the only person who ever uses your player tickets is a woman named Megan. She’s at most home games, but she always comes alone.”

“That doesn’t mean we’re both sleeping with the woman.”

“No, it doesn’t, but she picked you both up once after a road trip. She was late, and everyone else was gone. Do you remember?”

“Yeah, I remember.” They’d come home from one of the longest and most successful road trips ever. Twelve days, and twelve wins. They’d set a team record with that string of wins. Jason had added a couple of homeruns to his stats, and Jeff had six more saves. Megan had missed them, and she was more than ready to celebrate their homecoming. As a matter of fact, the celebration began on the way home. She’d driven, telling them in excruciating detail exactly what she was going to do to them, and what she wanted them to do to her when they got home. They’d done it all, and then some.

“I’d gone to my office to get something I needed for the game the next day, and when I came out…Let’s just say her greeting was enthusiastic – for both of you. I knew then.”

“That was what, a year ago?”

“Something like that. So, what’s changed? If she’s been with you and Jason this long, why have her feelings changed? I don’t get it.”

“Neither do I, and I don’t want to talk about it. It’s none of your business.”

“If it’s fucking with your head, and your game, then it’s my business.”

Jeff sighed and flopped back in the chair. His arms hung like limp noodles over the chair's wide arms. Doyle was right about one thing. The whole situation was fucking with his head, but it still wasn’t any of the older man’s business. He couldn’t very well tell him that, even as a friend. Doyle had all the power in their relationship, especially when Jeff wasn’t holding up his end of the business arrangement. He’d been hired to win games, and in the last few weeks, he hadn’t delivered. He had to get his head on straight, or Doyle would hand it to him on a platter, right next to his trade papers.

“I can’t think about that now. I’ve got bigger worries.”

“McCree?”

“Yeah. The press is feeding on his run at the homerun record. The son-of-a-bitch is making a mockery of the game, and there isn’t a fucking thing I can do about it.”

“How’s the curve ball coming?” Jeff raised his head from the back of the chair.

“Is there anything you don’t know?”

“I don’t know if you jack off right-handed or left, but I’d guess right.”

“Shit.”

“Forget about McCree. Sooner or later he’ll get caught, and his record won’t mean shit. We need to win games. That means beating the entire team, not just one player. We only have to face the Miners one more time in regular season. We’ll deal with McCree, even if we have to walk him every time he comes to the plate.”

“I can’t forget about him. This is a war I’m determined to win.”

“With that lousy curve ball? I don’t think so. Forget McCree. I’m telling you to let it go, Jeff. This is one season, and in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t mean shit. You’d do better to concentrate on your private life. Get that in order, and things will look a lot better all the way around.”

“I don’t see any way to get my personal life in order. I always thought Megan was mine, and Jason was the ‘extra’, if you know what I mean.” He didn’t know why he was telling Doyle any of this, but once he got started, he couldn’t seem to stop the words from pouring out like water over the spillway. “Then this thing with McCree, and I’m blowing saves, and while my game is in the toilet, Jason is having one of his best seasons ever. And, get this – she's worried about him.” He shook his head. “Fucking unbelievable.”

“Why is she worried about Jason?”

“How would I know?”

 Doyle reached for one of the baseballs in a bowl in the center of the coffee table and turned it over and over – a sure sign he didn’t like what he was hearing.

“Don’t worry. She’s worried on a personal level. Not that I can see a damned thing wrong with him. His stats are the best they’ve ever been, and he has Megan. What the hell else could he want?”

Doyle dropped the ball back onto the stack and sat back again. “So, you think Megan’s affections are tied to your game performance? You’re blowing saves, and it looks like you’re the losing horse, so she’s going to hitch her wagon to the sure thing? Is that it?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” It did sound pretty lame when put into words. “She’s not like that, or at least I didn’t think she was.”

“Jeff, I can’t tell you what to do, but I’d strongly advise that you talk to Megan. If this isn’t going to work out, you need to make a clean break, let her go and move on with your life.”

“I’ll think about it, Doyle. My ass is growing moss sitting on the bench, so put me in, okay? I won’t let you down, I promise.”

Chapter Fifteen

Jeff recognized the sleek red sports car waiting at the gate, and the driver. Jason. Just what he needed – another inquisition. His brother unfolded from the driver’s seat and came around the back of the car.

“Here, let me have one of those.” Jason held out his hand and Jeff slid the strap of his duffel off his shoulder.

“Thanks for the ride.”

“Least I could do. I had to hitch a ride with Tanner. Megan didn’t show.”

“Why not? She always picks us up.”

“No clue. She wasn’t at the house, either. Maybe she had to change her shift. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Or, she was taking another step to distance herself from one or both of them. Shit. Jeff’s already lousy mood took another dive. He climbed into the passenger seat and prepared for a NASCAR experience, without the professional driver or the safety of a closed racecourse. Jason always drove like there was a checkered flag waiting for him at the end of the road. Jeff wrapped his fingers around the handgrip on one side and clutched the center console with the other. Jason peeled out of the empty parking lot in a spray of dust and gravel.

“Slow down. The last thing I need today is to end up dead.”

“So, how did it go?”

Jeff cringed as Jason swerved around one car and darted between two others to make the transition from one freeway to another. “Christ, you’re a maniac. Slow the hell down!”

“Close your eyes if you can’t take it.”

“I’ll tell you everything if you’ll slow down. The only thing on my mind right now is getting home in one piece.”

Jason’s foot let up on the accelerator, and for every mile an hour the car slowed, Jeff eased his death grip on the sucker bar.

“Spill,” Jason said as he swung the car down the exit ramp, coming to a stop inches from the bumper of another car stopped at the red light.

“There’s nothing much to spill. Doyle wasn’t talking trade. He just wanted to crawl up my ass about the blown saves.”

“What did you tell him?” The light turned and Jeff’s head hit the headrest as Jason punched the accelerator down.

“Shit. Who taught you to drive anyway? You’re going to get us killed.”

“Okay, okay, Grandpa.” He slowed to the prevailing speed on the wide, divided road. “Talk.”

“I told him I had it under control.”

“Do you?”

Jeff felt his brother’s gaze and turned his head. Sure enough, Jason was watching him, when he should have been watching the road. “Christ! Look where you’re going!”

“Calm down. It’s under control,” he said, swerving into the left lane and practically taking an extra bumper with him in the process. Jason’s word choice registered once the car was traveling at a safe speed.

“Just shut up, smartass, and get us home alive. Then you can butt out of my business.”

“Hey, it’s my business too, you know. I’d like to have a winning season and go to the playoffs too, so get this through your fucked up head. Forget about McCree. Focus on winning the games we can win, and let the rest of it go. Losing games we should have won isn’t going to fix the McCree problem.”

Jeff vowed never to accept a ride from his brother again as the car came to a screeching halt a split-second before they would have gone straight through the back wall of the garage. He mentally inventoried what was on the other side of that wall and decided never to eat at the breakfast table again, especially if there were a chance Jason might be coming home. He got his suitcase out of the trunk and took the duffel Jason pulled from the backseat. “Why don’t you concentrate on what you’re supposed to be doing, and I’ll concentrate on my job. How about that?”

“I’d say that was just fine, but it must be hard for you to concentrate on your job with head so far up your ass.”

* * * *

 Megan parked in the garage stall next to where the guys kept their see-and-be-seen car, a red Mustang convertible. Since the stall was empty, they obviously had come home and left again, probably to get something to eat. She hadn’t had time to restock the kitchen while they’d been on the road, and even if she had, Jeff and Jason weren’t the types to cook when a perfectly good restaurant was a short drive away.

 Her feet felt like two hot bricks attached to her ankles, and tension in her neck and shoulders had her head pounding. She loved her job, but sometimes the emotional toll it took on her was worse than the hours on her feet. Today was one of those days. She desperately wanted food, and to soak away the stress of her day in the big Jacuzzi tub in her bathroom. Megan dropped her purse on the kitchen counter, toed off her shoes and went straight to the refrigerator. The wine she’d opened the night before called her name. She grabbed the bottle and a bowl of cantaloupe and watermelon leftover from breakfast that morning. Along with a hunk of cheddar cheese and some crackers, she had the makings of dinner.

She spread the feast on the center island and used the last of her energy to climb onto a barstool. She rolled her shoulders and filled her glass. It never did any good to bring her work home with her. That road led to nothing but depression, and she couldn’t afford to be anything but optimistic in front of her patients and their families. Of course, there was nothing wrong with celebrating the victories, but those were few and far between, these days. The pediatric wing was no place for the weak-hearted. Nurses didn’t last long there if they didn’t learn how to leave the bad at the hospital. When one of the new nurses broke down and said she couldn’t do it anymore, they called Megan at the last minute to handle her shift. She didn't even have a chance to call Jeff and Jason and warn them she wouldn’t be there to pick them up. An apology of Texas-sized proportions was in order, but it would have to wait until they got home.

Tilting her glass to her lips, she closed her eyes and savored the bold, fruity flavor of the wine. A faint sound or maybe it was a change in the air around her made her go still. She managed to swallow the wine in her mouth a fraction of a second before heavy hands rested on her shoulders and a hard male body pressed against her back. Her heart thudded against her ribs as she recognized Jeff’s familiar scent.

 “I missed you.” He spoke against her ear as his hands began to knead her tight shoulders.

“You scared the life out of me,” she complained even as her spine wilted and she slumped against him.

“Didn’t mean to. I thought you would have heard me. I’ve been standing in the doorway watching you for several minutes.” His hands continued to release the knots in her muscles as he spoke. Megan was putty in his hands, she always had been.

“I thought you were both gone.”

“Jason went out. I don’t know when he’ll be home.” He sounded way too happy about Jason’s decampment, but Megan was too tired to care.

“I’m dead on my feet, Jeff.” His hands stilled for a second, then continued to knead.

“Me too.” He pushed her long hair to one side and nibbled his way from her earlobe to the neckline of her scrubs. “God, you smell good,” he whispered against her neck right before his tongue swept along the pulse beating there. Megan, tired or not, couldn’t help responding to the need, the desire contained in those few simple words. This was the Jeff she loved. The one who made could melt her with a touch or a few words.

“I smell like disinfectant,” she said. “I need a hot bath.”

“Let me run one for you,” he purred against her neck. “I’ll even wash your back.”

Jeff,” she sighed as fatigue drained away, and desire rushed in to fill all the empty spaces left behind. His hands slipped to her waist, then around to pull her tight against him. It felt so good to lean into him, to let him support her. “Bad day?”

She shrugged. “No worse than usual. Two new patients. Two new sets of anxious parents and assorted relatives.” It was partially the truth. She tried to retain a professional distance between her patients and her, but sometimes one would touch her heart in ways she couldn’t ignore. Christopher had been like that. He was one of the success stories, primarily because of Jeff, and he’d always have a special place in her heart. Because of Christopher, she’d met Jeff and Jason.

But, she reminded herself, there were no guarantees with the children she worked with. Letting Caroline steal her heart was probably a mistake of epic proportions, but the child was precocious and wise beyond her seven years. Her prognosis wasn’t good. The doctors were doing all they could to stop the progress of her condition, but unless she received a heart transplant soon, she wouldn’t live to see another birthday.

Megan shook off the melancholy. Jeff didn’t need to hear about her troubles – not this late in the season when the Mustangs were in a heated race for a playoff spot. His obsession with making the playoffs was only surpassed by his obsession with striking out Martin McCree. He needed to remain focused. He didn’t need the extra burden of her worries.

Jeff’s hands felt so good on her, stroking her arms from wrist to shoulder. Bit by bit, she began to let the stress go. “That feels good.”

“Bring the wine and I’ll help you relax.” How could she turn down an invitation like that? She slid off the barstool and into Jeff’s arms. It had been a long time since she’d had time alone with Jeff, and no matter how awful her day had been, he always had the ability to make her forget everything but him. So what if he didn’t want the kind of relationship she wanted? He wanted her, and she wanted him, and that was enough for now. Maybe she was pathetic, but she’d take whatever he was offering.

* * * *

She sipped wine in a tub full of perfumed bubbles while Jeff sat on the edge mostly watching the burgundy liquid swirl around in his glass. He dimmed the lights and even lit the fragrant candles she had scattered around the room. The hot water leached away the tension in her muscles, and the wine helped smooth the ragged edges of her thoughts. For the first time in days, she felt relaxed. “I don’t want to talk about work tonight,” she said. “Not yours, or mine.”

“What do you want?”

“I want you.” She placed her glass on the wide ledge next to the bottles of bath salts and bubble bath. “Join me?”

Jeff peeled his clothes off, and with the removal of each piece, Megan slipped further away from her day. The muscles in his arms bunched and lengthened as he folded each garment. His upper torso was all hard planes and valleys that made her fingertips itch to touch him. She followed the path of his jeans and boxers as he pushed them to his ankles in one smooth motion. He turned away from her, giving her a superb view of his ass. She admired the way the muscles flexed as he pulled his jeans free of one foot, then the other. There was something about the rugged strength of his legs…and then he turned around and whatever thought had been forming evaporated like water on a hot griddle.

His cock stood as ready as she’d ever seen it. He wanted her. Oh God, and how she wanted him!

He stepped into the tub and slid in behind her. She fit into the cradle of his legs like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle. His erection was a rigid support against the small of her back. Her body responded in age-old invitation, going on heightened alert, and at the same time softening, inviting his attentions.

“Come on,” he said. His hands gripped her shoulders and pulled her gently down against his chest. “Let me hold you.”

She gave in to his coaxing and slumped boneless into his embrace. His heat enveloped her and what little tension remained from her workday dissipated, replaced by need and anticipation. Jeff stroked his hands from her shoulders to her fingertips, and back again. The worry she’d carried home with her slipped away. As his hands moved to her stomach and up to cover her breasts, her head fell to his shoulder and she closed her eyes to better concentrate on the tactile sensations.

He handled her as if she was the most delicate of creations, but it was the strength beneath his touch that excited her. Her heart thudded slow and steady as if pumping sweet molasses through her system all the while her body yearned for more. More of his touch. More of him.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered into the silence. He lifted her breasts, brushing his thumbs over her nipples. They tightened into hard little nubs surrounded by rosy puckered bunting. “So responsive.” He continued to play with her nipples, now so sensitive each flick of his callused thumbs made her arch her back. “I love to touch you like this.” He cupped her breasts hard and she cried out and thrust herself toward the source of the painful pleasure.

Her startled cry was quickly replaced by a groan of sheer pleasure as he trailed his hands lower, across her midriff and closer to the part of her now so eager for his attention.

“Please.”

“Shh.” His hands splayed across her stomach. “All in due time, sweetheart. All in due time.”

Megan clamped her jaw tight against the need to beg him further. Instead, she dug her fingernails into his thighs raised on either side of her like great, forested mountains sheltering a lush valley. Where she’d been languid in the safe framework of his embrace, now her heart beat with a new, impatient rhythm.

“I want to make this last a very long time. I promise to give you what you want, but it will be so much more if you let me decide when you can have it.”

Oh God. Isn’t this the very thing that had kept her in Jeff and Jason’s bed for so long? This promise of ecstasy they were both so skilled at delivering? Her body wept with need, but her brain understood. Surrender her body and the reward would be almost too magnificent to bear when it came. And it would come, she would come.