InsatiableNeed (11 page)

Raegan cried well after her tears stopped rolling. Until her
throat was hoarse and raw, her head spinning and bounding in a horrible, wicked
dance. The last thing she remembered before blackness washed over her was the
first ray of morning peeking over the horizon.

And the empty promise that all would look better when
cushioned with a few hours’ rest.

Chapter Eleven

A few hours’ worth of sleep buffered her a little, but not
as much as she would have liked. Raegan’s eyes still felt heavy and swollen,
even if several checks of her reflection assured her it didn’t show.

She didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror, though. That
much was very disconcerting.

It didn’t take her long the next morning to decide where she
wanted to go. Work was out of the question. While the position in which she’d
fallen asleep hadn’t provided much in the way of comfort, it had succeeded in
refreshing her mind. Her fantasies regarding handing in her resignation had
somehow matured into determination when she wasn’t looking. Holding on to her
position at
All The Above
only enabled her to feed her addiction. If
Raegan wanted to change things, really change things, she needed to start at
home.

Any idiot could see she’d used Natalie like a human shield,
and if there was one thing her friend deserved, it wasn’t to be used as a
post-mortem excuse to keep from living. The first and best way to leave the
past where it belonged was to disassociate herself from those habits that
allowed her to hang on.

Sometimes shitty things had happened. It was a part of life.
And Natalie sure as hell wouldn’t rest easy knowing her closest gal pal had
sacrificed her life for the sake of fearing what couldn’t be changed.

Raegan didn’t call Higgins to let him know. Facing him would
be too much like visiting a bar after that first pivotal AA meeting. Instead,
she typed up a letter and dropped it in the first mailbox she spied, then
proceeded to her next stop.

Thankfully, no one ever dropped in unannounced on a Seer.
Harriet Pollack seemed to expect her visit.

“Raegan Pritchett,” Harriet greeted, her front door wide
open. “I was beginning to worry.”

Raegan had only met the woman once or twice before, but each
of those times she’d found herself a little distracted by her odd but striking
beauty. Harriet’s frizzy cream-colored hair contrasted nicely with her dark
skin. Her large brown eyes were warm and friendly, and though her nose was a
little long, it perfectly complemented her full lips which seemed perpetually
pulled in a genuine smile. She often dressed in eccentric mismatched patterns,
and today, wearing a tie-dye skirt with a navy, polka dot shirt, was no
exception.

“How much do I need to tell you?” Raegan asked, sounding
even more fatigued than she felt. “Or do you know everything already?”

Harriet inclined her head and offered an enigmatic smile. “I
know a lot of what happened,” she said. “Then again, most of Highfield had
a…shall we say, bizarre night? I’m just grateful it didn’t get any more out of
hand than I feared.”

Raegan pressed her lips together, nodding. Honestly, she
hadn’t given much consideration to what else had happened during Jezebel’s
spell. The morning’s paper had detailed a few robberies, and one or two violent
crimes that landed the victims in the ICU, but thankfully no one had been
killed.

That was something, at least. O’Brien’s insanity hadn’t put
anyone in the ground. No one, at least, except himself. Right before she left
to make this visit, Raegan had turned on the television just long enough to
catch a local reporter detailing how O’Brien’s body had been found in his
office. Apparently, after “changing the world,” he’d hanged himself.

No explanation there, but then, none was needed. There was
reportedly an incoherent suicide note found at the scene, but details were
forthcoming.

“He wanted to be reborn,” Harriet explained.

The hairs on Raegan’s arms stood at attention. “What?”

“O’Brien was a cult leader without a cult. I think he
suspected some sort of spiritual rebirth after what happened last night.”

“How…you Saw this?”

“Of course. It was Zeth who triggered it, actually. When
O’Brien saw him afterward, it was sort of…I guess you’d call it a confirmation
bias.”

Raegan’s pulse raced at Zeth’s mention, but she swallowed
whatever her aching heart wanted to say.

“Come in,” Harriet said, gesturing. “I have tea brewing and
a plate of homemade brownies.”

She barked a laugh. “You were prepared.”

“It’s hard to slip one by me.”

Three brownies later, Raegan sat stirring her tea absently,
attempting to find a starting place. Knowing Harriet had once been intimate
with Zeth made her not the best confidant in terms of impartiality. And she had
no idea how or why their relationship had ended, or where the blame had landed,
if it was cast at all. Yet at the same time, this was the only place she could
speak freely. Harriet wouldn’t bullshit her.

Still, she had to get it out. Her mind was a warzone, and
every step she took seemed to find her on a different landmine.

Raegan cleared her throat, shifted, then found her voice.
“Last night, Zeth and I—”

Harriet held up a hand. “Yes, honey. I know.”

“You know?”

“About your sexual marathon? Of course. Like I said, it’s
hard to get one by me.”

“Then…do you know why I’m here?” If they could skip to the
end, that would make things so much easier.

Instead, the Seer shrugged. “Do
you
know why you’re
here?”

Damn it. Psychobabble ahead.

“Zeth…” Raegan swore and ran a hand through her blonde
locks. Her eyes stung already, and that wasn’t a good sign. She thought she’d
gotten herself all cried out last night, but with her emotions jumping all over
the place, stability was something she lacked in abundance at the moment.
“We…he says he loves me.”

Harriet nodded, looking thoroughly underwhelmed. Raegan
stared at her for a long moment, blinked, then shook her head. How someone
could respond so passively to something that had changed everything for her
seemed bizarre, almost callous.

Raegan found her footing and forced herself to continue.
“What happened last night… God, how can you just sit there?”

“Very easily,” Harriet supplied before taking a sip of tea.
“These are very comfy chairs.”

“He said he loves me! What am I supposed to do with that?”

“Maybe tell him you love him back? Honestly, I know I
Foresaw this conversation, but it didn’t make much sense to me then, either.
Why do you think I sent you to the church, Raegan?”

She wiggled, feeling suddenly like the punch line of a very
unfunny joke. “To stop—”

Harriet laughed. “I said what you were looking for was in
that room, sweetie. I never said you’d be able to stop him. One can only
prepare for the future, you cannot stop it from occurring.”

Raegan wiggled again, unease spreading through her gut. “I
don’t understand.”

“The things I See are not visions of a possible future. They
are echoes of a future that has already taken place. Any action made to prevent
that future is already planned, for it is how it happened the first time.”
Harriet studied her for a moment, then smiled. “I don’t expect you to
understand. It took me a while to grasp the complex nature of my gift. I would
attempt to prevent horrors from taking place, only to discover my intervention
was a planned factor all along. I Saw you and Zeth and knew it was destiny that
you and he would be together in that room.”

A cold, deadening sensation settled over her skin. “You
manipulated us to get us together?”

“No,” Harriet said patiently. “I ensured what was supposed
to happen happened.”

“Well, who the hell are you to decide what is and what isn’t
supposed to happen?” Raegan nearly reeled with whiplash at how quickly her
numbness had matured into anger, but suddenly the cold nothing that had stirred
inside blossomed into something hot and hard. Something seeking a vessel, and
that vessel was Harriet Pollack. The woman had known all long. She’d fucking
known
what would happen to Raegan in that room. How it would shake her, change
her, how it would challenge everything she knew. She’d known, and she hadn’t
even had the decency to warn her. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? What
I’ve done to
him?
Everything is entirely fucked up right now, did you
know that, too? He claimed me. He
claimed me,
Harriet! You can’t—”

“He claimed you?”

Raegan’s heart leapt into her throat. “Yes. And I—”

“Wow. I didn’t think
that
would happen so fast.”

“What?”

“Well, I knew he was going to claim you,” Harriet replied.
“I suppose I just thought he’d be a little less impulsive. But if things are
meant to be, they’re meant to be.”

“You knew he was going to claim me?” It was a ridiculous
question. Apparently Harriet Pollack was one large crystal ball, but that
didn’t stop Raegan’s incredulity from rearing its head. “You knew…but that was
a mistake. He didn’t mean to do it. It just sorta happened. And I sure as hell
didn’t mean to accept.”

The first time.

But she didn’t say that. The first time had been impulsive.
The second time had been something else. Something wonderful.

“When I first met Zeth, I knew we had an expiration date,”
Harriet said. “Such is the life of a Seer. But I liked him, and he seemed to
like me, and despite the fact we had little to nothing in common and that we
had no future together, I wanted to give it a shot. It didn’t last long,
though. Every time I touched him, I saw the face of another woman. You want to
guess who it was?”

“You saw me.”

Harriet nodded. “You were always going to be his mate,
Raegan Pritchett. I knew it then, I knew it when I met you, and I knew it when
I called you about O’Brien. I was just fulfilling my role.”

“But…I’m sorry, but you’re crazy. That can’t be the way it
was supposed to happen. I never would have gone if it weren’t for you. You put
us there.”

“No,” Harriet argued. “I merely told you about O’Brien, and
where to find the thing you searched for. I did not instruct you to involve
Zeth. Actually, if memory serves, I didn’t say his name once. I didn’t have to.
He is the person you turn to. He has been ever since you met him.”

“That’s bullshit.” It was a weak argument, and a false one.
Without even searching through her case notes, Raegan knew the woman spoke the
truth. Since that first day, and even after discovering his furry secret,
something had drawn her to Zeth like the clichéd moth to a flame. Something she
didn’t understand, didn’t always like, but something very real nonetheless.

“It’s the truth and you know it.”

“Why tell me these things now, then? Why not yesterday? Why
not—”

A long sigh rumbled through the Seer’s lips. “I cannot force
fate, anymore than I can prevent it. I’m telling you now because I know what
happens next.”

“You
always
know what happens next.”

She nodded. “Which is how I knew you were coming here.”

“Anyone ever tell you that you’re a walking headache?”

“Yes, and three guesses who.” She grinned. “You’re wasting
your time here with me. The answers you want you already have. All you came to
me for was permission.”

“Why would I want your permission?”

“You don’t want it, per se, but you’re too afraid to let
yourself trust. You can’t accept anything your heart tells you.” Harriet
shrugged. “So you came to me. Someone who knows you both.”

Raegan’s heart pounded and her throat ran dry. “How do you
know these things?”

“I’m a good observer of the things that have happened, and
things that are yet to come. I just know.”

“That makes no sense to me. I came here—”

“Raegan,” she said sharply, “stop bullshitting yourself. You
came here looking for something you already have. You came here for an answer.
Listen to yourself. Listen, and trust what you hear.”

“Those are two things I’ve never been good at.”

Harriet’s smile turned kind. She reached across the table
and clasped Raegan’s hand tightly. “Then I think it’s time you learn.”

Chapter Twelve

It felt weird knocking on his office door. Raegan hummed
nervously and stared at the wooden barrier. Normally, she would stroll in with
an insult at the ready, followed by whatever article Higgins had her
researching. Never had Raegan come to him because she wanted to see him, and
the fact she had forgotten half the things she’d wanted to say didn’t help
matters, either.

What if he didn’t want to see her? Only a day had passed
since they stood in the same room, but so much had changed for her in the time
between. After her conversation with Harriet, which turned out really to be a
long, convoluted discussion with herself, she had wandered through the
Highfield business district, trying to pep herself up for the confrontation she
needed to have. In the end, she forced herself to stop stalling.

Baring oneself was supposed to be frightening and difficult.
There was no one on earth who got an easy ride.

In the end, Raegan decided not to knock. Formalities weren’t
needed for what she had come to say, though she endured a bout of second
thoughts when she saw him. Her breathing hitched and her body tensed, the tears
that had kept chasing her catching up again.

Zeth sat behind his desk the way he always did. However,
unlike every other time she had seen him, he wasn’t waiting for her with a
smirk. He didn’t have a line at the ready, and that familiar twinkle in his eye
was nowhere to be seen. Instead, his face was buried in a newspaper, his head
angled so intently that she knew he was aware of her presence.

He was tense and closed off. And she had done that to him.

“Zeth?”

He grunted but didn’t look up. “So did you not get my
message or are you just planning on shitting all over it?”

“What message?”

“To leave me the fuck alone.”

Raegan inhaled sharply, her chest tightening. “I haven’t
been into work. I, ahh, I guess he hasn’t gotten my letter. I sent him my
resignation.”

The news visibly lent him pause, but Zeth still didn’t look
up. “So you’re just here to let me know. Thanks. Consider me informed.”

“Zeth—”

A long, heady breath rushed through his lips. “Raegan,
please. Just go. I can’t do this right now. I can’t even look at you. I don’t
know if I—”

“Do you still love me?”

The silence that lapsed between them could have choked a
small elephant. Raegan flexed her fingers, her palms sweaty and her legs
threatening to give out. She didn’t know how long she stood before Zeth finally
raised his head, though when he did, what she saw nearly broke her.

“Get out,” he growled.

“Zeth—”

“No,” he spat. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to
give me something, take it away, then ask me if I ever wanted it in the first
place. You think so little of me that I’d get over being in love with you—”

“No. Stop it.”

He laughed. “You don’t get to do that, either.”

“Zeth, I was wrong.”

“I’ll say.”

Panic seized her spine. God, she couldn’t be too late. Not
now when she was finally standing up to herself. “No, I was
really
wrong.
I…shit, this is…” She looked at him, at his unimpressed stare, and felt the
last remaining strands of whatever it was holding her together crumble and
break. “Goddammit!” she screamed, turning and landing a swift kick in the door.
“I can’t do this.”

Another moment of silence passed between them. When Zeth
spoke again, his voice had changed. “Raegan?”

“I am so completely fucked up. Do you know how fucked up I
am? How much I’ve tried to pretend I’m normal or strong or anything but
irreversibly fucked up?” Her cheeks were damp already. Apparently, her tears
had just been waiting for their shot. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Zeth.
I wanted to say yes. I did. Last night I wanted to tell you I loved you too,
but I didn’t. I’m so fucking afraid of everything. Afraid of you, afraid of me,
afraid of what happens next, and I’m so
tired
of being afraid. I hate
it, and I hate myself for—”

The next thing she knew, the door had slammed shut, her back
was to the wall, and a hot, eager werewolf was pressed against her chest.

“Say it again,” he murmured against her lips.

“Zeth?”

“Just one more time. Say it again.”

A shaky breath rocked through her throat. “I love you. I’m
so sorry I didn’t tell you then. I love you—”

His mouth covered hers, swallowing her words into a hot,
desperate kiss. A kiss that melted the skin right off her bones. A kiss that
reshaped and redefined. A kiss promising a thousand things suddenly she didn’t
need to hear, for she already knew. “God, Zeth,” she whimpered, nipping at his
lips. “I’m so sorry.”

He growled again but didn’t reply. His hands had busied
themselves removing her blouse. Good. Clothes were evil. She’d felt far too
clothed in the past twenty-four hours. She needed to be as naked as possible.

So did he.

“I didn’t think you’d come back,” he murmured, fingering the
strap of her unremarkable lace bra. “I didn’t think…”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you’re scared, Rae. I know. All I wanna do is take
that fear away.”

“I know. I know. I’m terrified to trust, but I wanna trust
you.” She swallowed hard. “I
do
trust you. I just don’t know if I trust
me.”

“I’ll trust enough for the both of us.”

She offered a watery smile. “That’ll be enough. For now,
that’ll be enough.”

“Good, ’cause I was wondering…”

“Yeah?”

“Can I take your bra off now?”

A harsh giggle tickled her throat. “Here?”

“I need you now. I’d tell you it’s part of the claim or
restaking my territory, but that’s bullshit. I just need you.” He paused. “Can
I have you now? Please?”

Sex in public places wasn’t high on her list of thrills, but
honestly, after the emotional rollercoaster she’d been on, she wasn’t high on
waiting, either. Therefore, nodding her encouragement, she asked, “Is the door
closed?”

“You kicked it shut.”

“Just make sure it’s locked.”

He grinned and obeyed, tugging a few times just to appease
her.

“Okay. Then break it.”

Zeth pressed himself against her and nuzzled her ear. “Break
what?”

“My bra,” she replied, ripping at his belt, her
all-too-eager fingers fumbling for the buttons of his jeans. “Tear it off.”

Zeth blinked and looked up, his eyes dancing in amusement.
“I can work a clasp,” he replied teasingly, his mouth dropping to her shoulder.
“No need to hurt your frilly things.”

“I give you permission. I just wanna feel you.”

“Mmm, but then these lovelies will be all bare.” He cupped
and lifted her breasts, his mouth venturing farther southward until he had a
lace-clad nipple sucked between his lips. “I rather like the way they look
all…”

Raegan whimpered and thrust her hips anxiously against his.
“Zeth, please!”

“You kept me waiting,” he growled, sliding a hand between
them to assist her scrabbling fingers in freeing his cock from the confines of
his jeans. “You kept me waiting for fuck knows how many hours.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be.”

“I didn’t…I needed to…”

Zeth laughed and shook his head. “Whatever it is, I don’t
care. You love me.”

“Yes.” Raegan cried out in delight when his cock finally
sprang into her hand. The helpless gasps that spilled through his lips set her
blood on fire. “I love you,” she replied, dragging his t-shirt over his head,
then tossing it somewhere behind the desk. “I’m so sorry.”

“You can stop saying that now.” He nipped at her breast
before pulling back to fist the sliver of material between the cups. With a
quick jerk of his hand, her bra wound up effectively destroyed, and she
couldn’t conceal her squeal of delight. “I forgive you.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop saying it. The time without
you sucked.”

Zeth smirked. “Just remember that.” He used his hold on her
slacks to drag her back to him, then quickly dropped to his knees to slip the
offending material down her legs. “Lift,” he murmured, making quick work of her
footwear. “Christ, you smell so good.”

“Do we need to talk? There’s more to talk about, isn’t
there?”

“Probably. But I wanna do this now.” He buried his face
between her legs and inhaled. “Oh God.”

“Zeth…”

“These hours without you have been the death of me.” He
trailed his gaze heatedly up her body. “Did you miss me here, too?” he asked,
rubbing her delicately through her panties. “Tell me you missed me as much as I
missed you.”

“More.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” he teased, grinning and
tonguing her through the thin cotton that separated her wet flesh from his
amorous mouth before finally ridding her of the cursed cotton bindings. Then
she finally stood naked before him again. Naked was infinitely better than
clothed, as long as her werewolf remained with her. And hey, if he sat perched
on his knees, she definitely wouldn’t complain. “Any ideas on what I should do
now?” he asked.

“Wha…?”

“Well, I’m open to suggestions.”

“You’re evil.”

“You’re not the first person to tell me that.”

“Just touch me, all right?”

“Been dying to,” he replied, dipping his fingers between her
slick lips with a wicked grin. “Rae…” He slid his hand up her right thigh, then
lifted her leg and draped it casually over his shoulder. “You’re so warm.”

“Gah.”

“And all mine.”

“Yes.”

“So easy,” he said. “The way it’s supposed to be between
mates. You said last night I had nothing to worry about,” Zeth observed,
licking up her slit with an approving coo. “You said that you were going to be
mine. And then—”

“Then I got stupid.”

He teased her clit. “And I’m supposed to take it on faith
that you’re not gonna get stupid again?” he asked coolly. “What if you came
here to break it off and just got distracted by my hot body? What if this is
the pity fuck before you turn and race home?”

Raegan’s eyes shot open. “No!” she squeaked ineloquently,
her head rolling back when he plunged his tongue inside her. “Oh my God. Ohhh!”

“Mmm, yeah,” he purred, lapping at her soaked skin, growling
enthusiastically. “That’s my girl’s honey.”

“Zeth!”

“Love hearing you scream.” He winked and bit lightly on her
inner thigh, his finger slipping inside her warmth, sucking her clit between
his teeth again. “Scream for me, Raegan. Lemme know how sorry you are.”

“So you want me to say it now?”

“Mhmm. Changed my mind. You got to make it up to me.”

No sense arguing with that. “I do.”

“Yeah,” he said, mouth latching on to her again before she
could complain that he’d let go of her at all. His fingers thrust deeper inside
her, his tongue running circles over her needy pearl. And when he growled his
encouragement, her legs wobbled, and she teetered closer to the edge. “Mmm…”

“So…so sorry.” God, words could not express how sorry she
felt. “I…I—”

Zeth smirked, smacking his lips together. “You’ve been dying
for this ever since you left me, haven’t you?”

She shivered. “You let me leave.”

“Ah, ah, ah.” His tongue flicked her clit teasingly. “None
of that.”

“But I… Aaaunnhh!”

His grin tightened. “You’re close, aren’t you?” he murmured,
sliding his fingers out of her pussy, wrapping his wet fingers around his cock.
“Mmmm, yeah. I can taste how close you are.”

The knowledge that he tasted her as he stroked himself
pushed her over the edge. Pleasure racked every nerve. Her skin melted. Her
heart exploded. Her cells split. Raegan trembled hard and cried out in ecstasy,
his name chorusing off her lips. And the world blacked out.

When she convinced her eyes to open again, she was lying on
her back, Zeth next to her. He lay propped on his side, his cheek resting
against his closed fist, his other hand playing lazily with one of her nipples.
He’d also removed the rest of his clothing.

“Mmm, there she is,” he murmured, flashing a particularly
seductive grin.

“Where are we?” she asked.

“On the floor.”

“Mmmm. I like your floor.”

Zeth nodded and leaned over, curled his tongue around her
nipple and parted her legs with his knee. “It likes you too,” he replied
hoarsely, wrapping a hand around his cock again. “But I think we’d be better
off in a bed.”

“Do you have a bed in your office?”

“Sorry.”

“Well, I don’t wanna wait.” Raegan wrapped her arms around
his neck and kissed his lips as he positioned his cock at her sopping entrance.

“Good. I don’t wanna either.” He sucked her tongue into his
mouth, growling when he sank inside her. The sensuality of his kiss set her
skin aflame. She could kiss him forever. Well, at least until he pulled away
and opened his mouth again. “And I’ve always wanted to christen the office.”

“And here I thought you’d use this place as your other
bachelor pad.”

“Don’t think I haven’t tried.”

“Let’s not talk about that now.”

“Ooh, someone jealous?” Zeth smirked before his gaze
softened. Then he buried his face in the crook of her neck, trembling. He
withdrew slowly, taking his cock in one hand and brushing the silky head
against her clit. “I love you. I love you.”

Her nails tunneled into his shoulders. “A-and?” God, she
hated the uncertainty in her voice.

Zeth laughed again and raised his head. “There’s not a woman
in the world…” He brushed his lips against hers. “Living or dead that could
ever hope to hold a candle to you. Not a woman in the whole world. And you’re
mine.” A hard tremor shook his body. “You’re all mine.”

“Yes.” She nodded rapidly. “All yours.”

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“No.”

“For always. It says so right here.” He bit slightly on the
possession mark, his hard length sinking inside her pussy again. “You’re mine.”