Insatiable (6 page)

“Brent, what are you doing here?”

“May I come in?”

She hesitated but finally stepped aside to let him in.

“Crystal, who is it?” Evan walked into the room, then stopped dead when he saw Brent. “Oh.”

Pain and anger surged through Brent, and he had to resist the rush of adrenaline urging him to stride across the room and punch his ex–best friend in the face. He turned back to Crystal.

“I had to talk to you. I realize I shouldn’t have just walked away the way I did.”

Crystal crossed her arms over her chest. “You think?”

He gazed at her flashing eyes and wondered why she was angry at him, but he stayed focused on his purpose. “That’s why I’m here. To talk about what happened. To find out your side of the story.”

Her eyes blazed brighter. “
My
side of the story? You’re the one who didn’t show up for our wedding. You…” She sucked in a deep breath, then began to pace. “You abandoned me!”

His heart clenched at the pain in her voice. “Aren’t you forgetting the part where Evan told you he’s in love with you, then you threw yourself into his arms and kissed him passionately?”

She stopped pacing and stared at him with wide eyes. Then guilt washed across her face and she tore her gaze from him.

“I saw the whole thing,” he said.

She glanced at Evan—who refused to look in Brent’s direction—then back to Brent. “So that’s why you left.” She started wringing her hands together. “Oh, damn.” She sat down, perching on the end of the couch. “It’s true. Evan did tell me he loved me, but”—she gazed up at Brent—“you must have missed the part where I told him I was going to marry
you
!”

Hope soared in him. “So you’re telling me you’re not in love with Evan?”

At the look in her eyes, his hope came crashing down. He shook his head and glared at Evan, then back to her. “So you were going to marry me even though you have feelings for him?”

“Brent, I didn’t really know my feelings for Evan until he said something.” She gazed down at her hands, folded in her lap. “I knew I was attracted to him, and I always felt guilty about that, but I figured that’s all it was. I ignored it.” She gazed at him again. “But I did know I was in love with you. Of course I was still going to marry you.”

She
was
in love with him.

“And now?” he asked. “Are you saying you have feelings for Evan now?”

“When you left, Renee handled telling the guests what happened. She had Evan take me to the hotel so I wouldn’t have to face everyone. Evan helped me through the most difficult hours of my life after you abandoned me.”

Brent’s heart clenched at the vulnerability in her eyes. Oh, God, he hadn’t realized how much he’d hurt her. And those desperate hours after being left alone at the altar, good old Evan had been there to pick up the pieces. Even if Crystal hadn’t loved Evan before, clearly she thought she did now.

“Crystal, I’m sorry. My emotions got the best of me. I realize that now. I shouldn’t have walked away. That’s why I’m here. I love you. I just want to make things right again.”

Seven

Crystal frowned and glanced at Evan. The questioning look in his eyes, mixed with a sense of hopelessness, tore at her heart. Evan loved her. And she knew Brent loved her.

She loved Brent, too, but she also had strong feelings for Evan. Feelings that could well be love. She just needed time to figure it out. To deny those feelings so she could marry Brent and pretend nothing had happened just wouldn’t work.

Yet, knowing that Brent hadn’t simply changed his mind, hadn’t just walked away callously, meant something.

But he had walked away.

“Look, Brent. The fact that you left—”

“But I explained that,” he appealed.

“Yes, but you did leave. If you really loved me—”

“I do.”

She held up her hand. “If you really loved me, and were totally committed to making this relationship work, then you would have stayed. You would have talked to me, not just run away as soon as things went a little off track.” She stood up and walked toward him, staring hard into his eyes. “You should have talked to me.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “If we’d gotten married … how do I know that you wouldn’t just bail at the first sign of trouble?”

Just as Gary had. Her ex-husband had never even been willing to talk about their problems, let alone try to work through them, and when she’d tried to discuss them, he’d called her a nag.

He’d even suggested that her attraction to Brent had led to the eventual breakup of their marriage. But that couldn’t be. She’d never acted on that attraction. She’d never even known Gary had noticed it. But obviously she’d been wrong about that.

Now she found herself in the same situation, even though she’d done everything she could to avoid it. But, damn it, it wasn’t her fault. She hadn’t done anything wrong.

Except that she’d kissed Evan—passionately—and less than an hour before she was to walk down the aisle. She drew her shoulders back. But it was Brent who’d walked away.

“Crystal, that’s not fair.”

“Really? Why not?”

Brent stared back at her but said nothing. Her heart thundered in her chest as the silence hung between them.

“Crystal, I love you. And I still want to marry you. The fact that I’m here should tell you that I am willing to fight for our relationship. That’s why I flew across a continent to find you.” He walked toward her, then stood in front of her, gazing into her eyes. “Do you still love me?”

“I…” Her chest tightened. “Of course I do.”

“Then tell me you’ll marry me.”

She shook her head. “I … can’t. You just waltz back here and tell me I should forget everything that’s happened since Saturday—since … our wedding day—and expect me to just marry you, despite the fact that you left me at the altar?”

“But if you still love me…”

She shook her head, then stood up and started pacing again. “I need time.” Her hands clenched at her sides. “I need to think.”

She strode down the hall and went into the bedroom, then closed the door behind her. Thoughts and emotions collided within her as she walked to the window and gazed out over the ocean, then took a deep breath.

*   *   *

Evan watched Crystal stride away, then turned his gaze back to Brent to find himself staring into the piercing brown eyes of his friend. Or rather ex-friend, from the look on Brent’s face.

“How the hell could you do this to me? I thought you were my friend.”

Evan felt as though he’d been kicked in the gut. “I am.”

Brent’s fists clenched. “You have a fucking lousy way of showing it.”

“I’m sorry about the way this worked out. I really am.”

“Why don’t I believe you? You stole Crystal from me right before our wedding. Now she’s here with
you
on the honeymoon. It seems to have worked out pretty well for you.”

“She’s only here with me because you didn’t show up for the wedding,” Evan shot back.

Brent took a step toward Evan, his eyes blazing. “I didn’t show up for the wedding because I believed she’d already decided to run off with
you
.”

Evan sucked in a deep breath, realizing this was only making things worse. He took a step back and held up his hands. “Brent, look, we both made some mistakes.”

“So you admit you made a mistake?”

“Only in waiting so long to tell Crystal how I felt about her.”

Brent glared at him. “Some fucking friend you are.”

“Just hear me out.” Evan leaned against the back of the couch. “I’ve had feelings for Crystal for a long time, but I suppressed them. She was your woman.”

“Damn right. So why the hell did you change your mind?”

“Mainly because those initial feelings of attraction turned into something deeper, until I finally realized I was in love with her.” He wiped his clammy hands on his shorts. “If you two got married, I knew I could never keep being friends with you, feeling about her the way I do. It would be too difficult. I also started wondering if maybe she had feelings for me. I thought I’d sensed something between us.”

“Fuck, did you hit on Crystal before?”

Evan shook his head. “No, nothing like that, but occasionally I’d see her looking at me and … I don’t know, it just seemed—”

Brent scowled. “So my girlfriend gives you a sidelong glance and you think you have the right to tell her you love her?”

“Damn it, Brent.” Evan pushed himself from the couch and paced across the carpet. “Try and see it from my point of view. I was in love with her. There was a chance she returned those feelings, but momentum was carrying her forward to marry you.”

“Momentum?” Brent’s sharp voice slashed through Evan.

“I know she cares about you, but what if it’s me she really loves? Don’t you want her to be happy?”

“Don’t give me that crap. Of course I want her to be happy. And I’m the man who’ll make her happy.”

Evan stopped pacing and faced Brent again. “Look, I just had to give it a shot, okay? My happiness is important, too.”

“More important than mine?”

“Of course not. But if she was in love with you, she would have said no to me.”

“Which she did.”

“That’s true. And if you two had gotten married, it would have ended there. I would have known she was with the man she truly loved. But…”

“But what?” Brent said with narrowed eyes.

“But then you left and it’s become clear Crystal does have feelings for me. Now it’s a matter of letting her figure out which one of us she wants to spend the rest of her life with.”

*   *   *

Crystal heard Brent’s and Evan’s raised voices through the door but couldn’t tell what they were saying. She wrung her hands together. What a mess.

A few minutes later, a tap sounded at the door.

“Crystal, it’s Evan. May I come in?”

Poor Evan. How must he be feeling about all this?

“Yes, come in.” She turned to face the door as he stepped inside.

“So … how are you doing?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. Confused. Uncertain. I need time to process everything that’s happened.”

“I assume with Brent here…” He gazed at his suitcase standing on the rack next to hers. “Maybe I should sleep in the guest room.”

Oh, God, the thought of sleeping in here with Evan, and Brent in the next room … it didn’t seem right. Damn, what a mess.

She nodded. “Thank you for understanding.” Oh, damn, did Evan think Brent would be sleeping in here with her? Did Brent? “Um … there’s only one guest room, and…”

“If you’re worried about Brent, he’s already crashed in the sunroom.”

She nodded. “So the two of you talked?”

“A little. Then he glared daggers at me and stormed off. He found the couch in the sunroom and grabbed the spare bedding from the cupboard.” Evan leaned against the dresser. “I think we have some tense times ahead. Crystal, I’m sorry I caused this whole mess. But I’ve got to say, no matter what happens between Brent and me, I’m glad I told you how I feel. I know you’re going to have a hard decision ahead, but … I’m still hoping you’ll choose me.”

She pursed her lips and nodded. She knew once she calmed down, she should choose Brent. Now that she knew Brent hadn’t walked out on her because he didn’t love her, that he’d done it as a reaction to feeling betrayed, she had to view everything in a whole new light. Brent was the sensible, logical choice. He was her fiancé. They’d been in love for years. They’d been planning the wedding for months. Everything pointed to that decision.

But he shouldn’t have walked out on her. The fact that he would do that did not bode well for the health of their marriage.

She glanced at Evan. Concern for her burned in his eyes. The time they’d spent together the past two days had forced her to take another look at her feelings for him. And now she could no longer lie to herself. She could no longer deny she was falling in love with Evan.

Even though she had never fallen out of love with Brent.

*   *   *

Crystal lay staring at the ceiling in the dark room, fully aware of the fact that Evan slept in the room right next to hers, and Brent was asleep on the couch in the sunroom, overlooking the pool.

Damn. If everything had gone as planned—if her life hadn’t been sent totally off balance by Evan’s proclamation of love on her wedding day—she and Brent would be married now. Both snuggled up in this bed, his strong arms around her.

He should be in this bed with her, holding her … making love to her. It should be their honeymoon.

If only things hadn’t gone so terribly wrong.

But would that really have been such a good thing? Images of Evan’s face, of his poignant lovemaking, sent her insides aquiver. God, Evan loved her. He’d loved her for a long time. And she’d ignored her own feelings for him. Denied them. Because she loved Brent.

Her heart constricted. But she did have feelings for Evan. Confusing, tumultuous,
passionate
feelings.

Oh, God, the walls seemed to be closing in on her, the darkness pressing around her.

She pushed aside the covers, slid on her slippers, and padded down the hall to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and stared inside for something to drink. Her mouth was so dry. She pulled out a bottle of water and poured it into a glass, then sipped it while she gazed out the window at the swimming pool. The water glittered in the moonlight.

Memories of her lovemaking with Evan by the pool filled her mind. Now she felt guilty about it, but she had no reason to feel guilty. She’d thought Brent had left her for good. In fact, she felt anger well up. Brent had walked away. He had no reason to be angry with her for what had happened between her and Evan.

But he probably wasn’t angry. He was hurt. Because he loved her.

Damn, damn, damn. This was such a mess.

She gulped back the rest of the water and set her glass in the sink, then gripped the counter.

The bottom line was that she did still love Brent. That hadn’t changed just because of the messed-up wedding day. Her eyes welled with tears when she remembered how he’d taken her to a lovely getaway for the weekend and knelt in front of her and proposed. She’d laughed in joy and thrown her arms around him. He’d spun her around and they’d laughed together. Then he’d made love to her in front of the fireplace, a roaring fire heating their naked bodies.