Inner Guidance (26 page)

Suddenly the doctor interrupted. “I do,” he enthusiastically responded. “I know our intentions. I know exactly what we want.”

“Please tell us. What do we want?” Alden asked.

The doctor rolled a cart next to Alden, placing it in my field of vision. On the cart were quite a few tall, thin Inner Guidance_CH 22-27.p65

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glass tubes, held upright in a wooden frame. “We need these tubes filled with fluid,” he told us.

The tubes were so tall, the needle so big. I was so dehydrated, my lips parched and dry.

“You want those vials
filled
with fluid?” Alden inquired.

“What I actually mean is that we need just a little bit of spinal fluid in each tube for the separate tests,”

the doctor explained.

“What will it look like?” Alden asked.

“Pink?” I offered.

The doctor shook his head. “It has to be clear liquid, or it is not a good test. It is clear spinal fluid we need.

Just a little in each tube—and we can get that from one good draw.”

“And then what?” Alden asked. “What are our intentions?”

“Here is what we want to have happen,” the doctor explained. “We get the fluid in one draw and test it. We have the results quickly. And we don’t find any additional infections beyond the malaria. Then we’ll give your wife additional fluids and send you both home—

and she’ll be OK,” he smiled. “Those are our intentions.”

Now we knew what we wanted. If this were God’s will, I would be well again. It would be different from the dream, different from that other lifetime in Africa.

There would be a healing.

S
uddenly I felt everything was going to be all right. “OK, Alden, I’m ready,” I said. “Just one more time.”

The doctor picked up the needle again but then hesitated. Doubt entered for a moment. Fear was trying to get back into the room.

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“Perhaps I should get another doctor to come in. I could ask my colleague to join us,” he suggested.

“No,” Alden and I said in unison. Alden continued,

“We sang HU together, and we know what we have to do. You’ll be guided, and we trust you.”

“All right. I’m ready,” the doctor said quietly. He prepared to puncture my spine again.

There was total silence in the room. I sang HU

inwardly as I knew my husband was also doing. Then I felt the needle enter near the back of my neck, and I heard the doctor shout.

“Oh, my God!” he yelled, and no one else dared speak. “Eureka!”

“He found the fluid,” the nurse whispered. “He found it.” She was kneeling in front of me, holding me in place, and I could see her face. Tears filled her eyes as she nodded her head in assurance. “It worked; he got what he needed.”

The doctor handed off the precious fluid to another nurse, who filled the waiting vials. Then he put his hand on Alden’s shoulder reassuringly.

“What happened?” Alden asked. “Why did you yell,

‘Oh, my God!’ in the middle of the procedure?”

The doctor shook his head, seeking the words. “Just as I lifted the needle to insert it near the base of the spine,” he said softly, “it was as if a large hand covered mine. I don’t understand how it happened, but that hand just lifted my hand and the needle to the base of Anne’s neck. Never would I have put the needle in there, but I did. It never occurred to me that with severe dehydration, the spinal fluid might have prima-rily collected near her brain. Yet it was there. The fluid retreated to where it was needed most for Anne to stay alive. I think that’s why I couldn’t get any fluid in my Inner Guidance_CH 22-27.p65

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other attempts. And whatever we did here allowed me to be guided.”

“Guided,” the doctor repeated in wonder. “That’s the only thing I can call it.”

The doctor smiled at us with absolute joy. He knew the elation, the utter gratitude and outstanding amazement, of being guided by God, of being steered and directed from that higher perspective, that loftier view that sees and knows all things.

It was malaria that I had, a difficult form of the disease. I would live to tell about it and later journey to Africa to finish the karma that began there.

I
n
Autobiography of a Modern Prophet
, Harold Klemp writes:

When a problem arises that outpaces an ECK

initiate’s ability to handle alone, he is driven to look outside himself for aid. By placing his attention upon the Mahanta, he calls forth the miraculous power of ECK: then all things are possible. And in that moment of awakening, he realizes that the Master has been with him all along. There never was a barrier of separation to keep them apart, except for the blindness of the seeker. The Master reveals his presence by some means, and now the ECK is on the field.

The initiate, though mindful that he must

undergo whatever ordeal he has asked deliverance from, can now play the role of spectator as well as actor. He is an observer in the audience, watching a scene from his life unfold. At the same time, he is the leading character.

Spiritually he stands at the peak of awareness.

In this high state of expectancy, he absorbs the Inner Guidance_CH 22-27.p65

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lessons needed to avoid a replay of this scene ever again. And life goes on.34

I had wanted to go to Africa since I was a child. It began when I was just a little girl in South Carolina, standing by the screen door during a rainstorm.

I stood watching it pour, as if that would help it stop.

I wanted to be able to go outside and play but had to wait for the rain to go away.

“The little lions,” I said. “Look at them climbing the tree!”

“Lions? This is not Africa,” my mother laughed.

“There are no lions here.”

But I saw them, plain as day, frolicking in the tree.

Then they disappeared, and I did not see them again.

I would dream about lions throughout my life, and lions became an important symbol to me.

As Soul, I experienced being in Africa that day, transported perhaps by my imagination and inner awareness. And I experienced Africa again in the malaria dream.

O
ne day, about six years after the malaria dream, I received a phone call. I was invited to visit West Africa and speak at Eckankar seminars in Nigeria and Ghana.

Africa! It was a childhood dream come true.

Unfortunately, I had been sick during those years since the malaria incident. At first, it had not been so bad—just an occasional unexplained illness. Then it escalated and grew more and more frequent. This time no one seemed to know what was wrong. I had not been able to find a cure or even an accurate diagnosis.

I had seen many doctors, but the puzzle remained.

If I worked hard or overdid it, even a little bit, my body would shake violently, and I’d have a sudden fever. The Inner Guidance_CH 22-27.p65

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episodes could last for hours, and I would be drained and weak afterward.

But I wanted so much to go—to serve at this seminar, and to see this land I’d dreamed about since I was a child.

I put my attention on the Inner Master, the Mahanta, and asked for guidance. I sat down to do a spiritual exercise, to sing HU and just listen. All was quiet. I fell asleep.

Suddenly, a lion appeared in my inner vision.

This was the inner guidance I had asked for. I now knew that I needed to go to Africa. Something would happen there, something that would be valuable and life-changing.

Alden would accompany me—along with two dear friends who agreed to come. Having them on the trip gave me confidence to accept this opportunity with a joyful heart.

Alden and I consulted an experienced international doctor to determine which vaccinations were necessary and to learn what we needed to do to stay healthy in Nigeria and Ghana. When the doctor heard about the symptoms I had been having for years, she asked if I had ever had malaria. I told her about the malaria experience after the campout.

After hearing my story, the doctor told me about a new drug being given to prevent malaria while traveling. It was also used to treat long-standing types of malaria that were very resistant to treatment. “You may have been walking around with malaria these past six years,” she said. It could have been what was making me more and more ill.

She prescribed the new drug for me, and we left for Africa.

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T
he trip to Africa was out of this world. There are not words to do it justice. We experienced inspiration, freedom, excitement, energy, love, and joy. The people in Nigeria were remarkable—beautiful, wise, caring—

and they had the most remarkable experiences to share.

And in Ghana, everything was pure love. In both countries, we made lifelong friends and had experiences we would always cherish.

When we arrived home, I was well. A miracle had occurred. All of my symptoms were gone, and I no longer had to take delicate care of myself. I was over my former illness completely
.

Opportunities to serve with an open heart are like gems strewn along our path—just waiting for us to pick them up. I was guided to this African experience. It was intrinsically linked to my illness six years before, when I had the amazing past-life dream of being the woman dying in the small village. Inner guidance had led me past the obstacles, through the challenges, into the miracles.

By saying yes to Africa, I had been given a gift that I never would have found otherwise. I felt vital now—

years younger and stronger than ever.

It was truly a profound healing on all levels.

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A Gift of Life:

Inner Guidance

and Divine Love

When one asks in sincerity, What is love? and
opens his heart, the ECK (Holy Spirit) will bring
the gift that is already there and has been there
all along. But the individual must do the spiritual exercises to stay open to the guidance that
is needed every day to preserve and nurture that
love.

—Harold Klemp

The Golden Heart
35

L
ove is the great connection we share with others that allows us to stay tuned in to their greatest good as well as our own. Love is a

golden thread that unites us all. Sometimes more love comes unexpectedly, through trauma or a big change that affects everyone. This happened with my family.

Twenty years after her dramatic escape from death, my sister, Debbe, was admitted to a hospital in Atlanta.

She needed another operation for an aneurysm.

By now, I had learned much about Eckankar, the spiritual exercises, and inner guidance. When I spoke 225

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with my sister, I knew this was going to be a crossroads for her, a step in divine love.

I asked gently for inner guidance to better understand the situation, to know what I could do to help.

Sometimes our guidance comes slowly, sometimes in a flash of illumination. “All life will be different now,”

was the message I instantly received. I felt guided to share this insight with my sister. I wanted to tell her everything would go really well during surgery, but my guidance was clear. “Debbe, all life will be different now,”

I said, almost in a whisper.

Debbe did not question what I said, nor did she protest. She said, “I know, Annie.”

She simply agreed. At some level, we both understood what we were talking about.

From that moment on, my sister and I entered into a rare, almost ethereal level of communication. Few words were necessary. I reassured her from the deepest spiritual perspective I now knew. I said, “You understand that no matter what happens, and no matter which way things go,
you
will be fine. You will do great, and you will be well and perfect and whole. You are Soul, a beautiful, eternal spark of God. You know that, don’t you, Deb?”

I was speaking of Debbe as a spiritual being—that which we all are at the deepest core of our being—and she understood.

“Yes,” she assured me, “I know that.” She said she knew that everything would be OK, no matter what. I felt calm as I made plans to go to Atlanta and be with Debbe.

My inner guidance had let me know that things would be different, not necessarily that she would be healed. And that came true. The operation did not resolve Debbe’s physiological malady. In fact, she was in Inner Guidance_CH 22-27.p65

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and out of consciousness for three weeks. During this time, the hospital administration graciously allowed me to stay with her. I was able to be there day and night and tend her, even as she slept. Family and friends joined in this vigil.

Debbe recognized everyone and had a chance to be with all of us. In the third week, she even seemed to be on the road to recovery, and therapy began in earnest.

But I wasn’t so sure. I sensed something was about to change for my sister. So I remained with her during this period, and my world became the world of intensive care. There was much to be done for Debbe to heal.

L
ove was filling all of us who spent time with Debbe, as we stayed close by her side. And love filled the hospital in an unexpected way, bringing healing on many levels.