Iniquity (The Premonition Series Book 5) (5 page)

“I’m fine,” I lie.

“You’re not fine; you’re freezing. You never take care of yourself. Now retract your wings!”

“I take care of myself.”

The stubborn set of his jaw lets me know he’s not going to take no from me on this, so in the spirit of expediting this parley, I retract my wings and allow him to drape it over my shoulders. He pulls the lapels of his coat close, engulfing me in his residual warmth and scent. It’s almost Pavlovian, my physical reaction to it. A deep-seated yearning erupts in my core. I beat it down.
He’s a liar. He broke your heart and left you here alone,
my ruthless inner voice reminds me.
And I love Reed
.

Xavier jerks open the passenger door for me. “We can talk in the car.” He waits until I get in before he slams the door shut with more force than necessary. In less than a moment, he’s seated next to me, having about crushed his own door. I pale at his anger. He’s breathing heavy, like he’s trying to contain the rage he feels. I’ve never seen him like this. He’s been mad at me before—frustrated—but this isn’t the same thing. He’s livid. He starts the car with his jaw tensing.

“I’m taking you with me now,” he states, his hand curls around the stick shift to put it in gear.

I wave my hand and the car engine dies. “No.”

Tension shows in his profile. He crushes the knob of the stick shift in his hand, leaving finger indents in it when he lets go of it. “You’re exposed here, Evie. Right now, you either have to have an army to protect you or be hidden better than a key beneath the doormat.”

“Who am I hiding from?” I need to know if Dominion is my enemy now.

His eyebrow lifts over his blue eye. “From whom are you
not
hiding?”

I sigh heavily in response to his anger. “I’m not hiding from you, but I’m also not your problem anymore—”

“You’ve never been a problem; you’re a pain in the ass, but you’re not a problem. Problems get eliminated. That’s never going to happen to you. I’m here.”

“For how long?” I ask. My heart squeezes tight. I have to blink my eyes to clear them. I hadn’t expected that reaction.

“For as long as you are.”

“You don’t belong here anymore unless you’re interested in the army I plan to lead. If not, we’ve nothing to discuss.”

“You’re not ready to lead an army, Evie.” Xavier looks up at the roof of the car in exasperation. “You still can’t distinguish the difference between good and evil.” He turns his head and glares at me, making me press deeper into my seat.

“Your definition of evil is not the same as mine. Maybe there’s a reason for that.”

Xavier exhales in frustration. “We don’t have time for this. Will you come with me now or not?”

I look up like I’m thinking. “Um...hmmm. Not.”

“You have something that I want,” Xavier growls.

My eyes widen. “What?”

“I’ve searched Jim’s house for it—“

“You’ve been to my house?” I ask, hardly able to breathe.

“Technically, it’s my house now. I bought it—searched it, but most of your things are gone. I tore apart Brennus’ estate—it wasn’t in your dorm room either.” He glances at me with little emotion on his face as he assesses my reaction.

“You own my house?” I say in shock, trying to understand what possessed him to do that.

“It was supposed to be our house,” he mutters. “I bought it back for you, but you don’t care about the past.”

My heart aches as I try not to think about my old house or what it was like to be there with him. “And you broke into my old dorm room?”

“I wasn’t just a shadow on the wall this time,” he says bitterly. I cringe.

“What are you looking for?”

“You remember when I gave you my ring? I put it on a chain and gave it to you as a necklace...did you lose it?”

My face floods with color. “I tried to give it back, remember, when
you
broke up with
me
?”

Xavier looks away. “I wanted you to keep it, but circumstances have changed and now I need it back.”

My eyebrow arches. “You need it?”

“Did you lose it?”

I shake my head. “No.”

“The ring that looks like a sword? You still have it?” he asks with some relief.

I duck my head. “Sort of. Why do you need it? I mean, it’s beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but you can buy anything you want.”

His eyes soften for just a moment. “It means something to me, Evie, or I wouldn’t have given it to you.” His hand inches nearer to mine on the console between us. It stops a breath away. I feel his body heat reaching out to me and I move my hand to my lap.

Suddenly the car lacks oxygen. “I know where it is,” I say, not meeting his eyes.

“Where?”

“I’ll tell you if you answer a few questions for me.”

“Tell me where it is!”

“What will it take for Tau to join us?”

He shakes his head. “It won’t happen. He leads.”

“There’s a tipping point in every situation. What’s Tau’s?”

“Be grateful that I could convince him to let me come here alone. How long do you expect him to let this go on?”

I laugh without humor. “He doesn’t really have a choice, does he?”

Xavier gives me a sidelong look. “He’s trying to find a way to gain your compliance without crushing you, but crushing you is still an option.”

“He’s welcome to try,” I respond, sounding like Brennus.

“When he does, your friends go away,” he threatens. “Anya is a traitor. Dominion will deal with her.”

“She’s not going anywhere—neither are they. You just need to remember that it was
you
who left
me
for dead.”

“And you’ve paid me back for it. A hundredfold,” Xavier counters venomously.

I sigh, trying to calm myself. “It wasn’t payback, X. I fell in love with Reed. It has nothing to do with you.”

“It has everything to do with me! Tell me where my ring is. I’ll let Tau know that you wouldn’t come with me willingly.”

“What will he do?”

“Don’t worry about what he’ll do. It’s what
I’m
going to do that should worry you.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Learn my secrets, Evie,” he says, “if you want to stay ahead of me.”

“Tell me why I’m here or I’m not telling you anything. What’s my mission?”

Xavier grips the steering wheel in front of him, bending it. “You came here for me.”

“Why would I do that?”

“It was the only way we could be together. You made some kind of deal—you agreed to come here for one last lifetime, and then...then we’re together forever—that’s what you told me before you came here.”

“Just like that? I push Russell away, like I never loved him? Like our lifetimes together meant nothing?”

“Not just like that. I’ve been your guardian from the day you were created. You’ve no idea what we’ve endured to be together. I’ll do whatever it takes. You’re worth it to me.”

My chest feels tight. “What’s the deal I made exactly? I said I wanted to be with you? I negotiated that?”

“I’m not sure exactly. You couldn’t tell me. I just know you promised to come here so that you could have a love of your own choosing.”

I hold up my hand. “Whoa. Hold up. You mean I didn’t name you?”

“You meant me,” he says with absolute certainty. “It’s me you love. I was with you in every one of your lifetimes. When you died and Russell stayed on Earth, we were together in Paradise. When he died first, I always stayed with you in the shadows, watching, waiting. Now, it will be you and me until the end of time.”

I don’t want to believe him. I push that aside. “What, exactly, am I supposed to do here? What is the goal of my mission?” I raise my arms and look around. “What did I have to agree to so that I could be with you?”

“You had to come here and you did that. You don’t have to do anything else. I’ll do the rest.”

“But if I was sent here—”

Xavier rubs his forehead in irritation. “No one is playing by the rules anymore, Evie,” he growls. “I’m not going to lose you because they might see a compromise as the better option.”

“Who are they—Heaven? I’ve been told Heaven doesn’t compromise. Brennus believes there’s another like me—a half-breed human angel with a soul—and I’m not talking about Russell.”

Xavier looks murderous, as if I’ve just delivered the worst news of his life. “Brennus cannot be trusted.”

“I believe him. He has connections and his connections say that Sheol has created a half-breed angel—a male version of me.”

“If it’s true, I’ll kill the spawn,” he replies.

My eyes widen at the slur. “The spawn?”

“The demon half-breed—Sheol’s abomination.”

“You think I’m an abomination?”

Xavier scowls at me. “You’re nothing like the monster from Sheol. You’re a
divine
half-angel, not a fallen demon’s offspring with a corrupted soul. When did Brennus tell you about the evil half-breed? Was it while he was attempting to murder you at his castle?”

His derision isn’t lost on me. “Not exactly,” I fumble. I don’t want to explain how I was given this information. “Why did Heaven make you ascend, and then let you come back?”

“Sheol adapts.” A humorless smile spreads as his lips thin. “Heaven had to adapt as well. You needed to learn certain skills that they were sure would be taught more effectively by others, at least that’s what they told me when I was taken back.”

“Like what?” I whisper. “What did I need to learn?”

“Survival.” He drops his chin as he confesses, “I sent you Jim...in the cave in Houghton—when Brennus nearly killed you. I thought your uncle would help. Did he?” Instantly, my eyes brighten with tears. I fight them and manage not to shed any, but I’m only capable of responding with a nod. Xavier looks away from me, out the window at some distant memory. “I didn’t know what to do. Your dying meant your soul would come back to me...but then we’d never be allowed to be together. Whatever your mission is, you have to win it no matter what. If you don’t, you and I will be separated. I will no longer be your guardian angel.

“I became too emotional after that. From then on, they cut me out of most of the intel on you. Tau was the only one who’d tell me what was happening with you, but they weren’t giving out much information to him either.”

“Why kill the other half-breed angel—”

His eyes snap back to mine. “I told you, he’s not a half-breed angel. He’s a demon—spawned from a fallen angel with a thoroughly damned soul.”

“How am I supposed to find him?”

“I’ll find him.”

I shiver. “Why does he have to die? He could’ve so easily been me. There was a time when I thought that I was an evil demon half-breed, X,” I whisper my confession, looking at my hands in my lap before glancing at him.

Sadness shows in his eyes. “How could you think that, Evie? There’s nothing evil about you.”

I force a shrug as I say in a small voice, “I just did.”

With quiet rage, Xavier says, “If I’d been here, you’d never have thought that. Not for one moment.”

“But you weren’t here—it was Reed who helped me see who I am. He’s been here for me. I can’t let you close again. It’s too late.”

“I’m not letting you go.” Xavier’s gravelly voice bleeds with despair. “I’ll challenge him for you.”

I find it hard to breathe as I warn, “Xavier, if you hurt Reed, I’ll kill you.”

“You’re the one who’ll hurt him if you don’t let him go. You’re in a brutal world here, Evie, and he can’t dig you out of it. It’ll bury him. YOU will bury him. You’ve built this family around you that you can’t possibly protect. When the spawn finds them, and he will, he’ll use them against you. Why do you think Russell was supposed to die? He would’ve been a liability to you as a human. You wanted it that way—you insisted that he be taken out of this mission early—so that he wouldn’t suffer—so there’d be no chance of his damnation.”

“Why didn’t I just insist he stay in Heaven?”

“He was bent on coming when he learned you accepted a mission.”

“So Russell was always supposed to die and go back to Anya? He was never supposed to be a part of this?”

“He and Anya were allowed to be together because of the deal you made—the deal you would never fully explain to any of us. You pushed your soul mate away. You had them cut the tie that bound you to him. I thought you did it solely for me, but now I believe you did it for this mission. You only told us pieces of what you have to do, but never the goal of the mission—that you said you were prohibited from discussing. You were adamant that Russell was to leave this life when you began to evolve angelic abilities. You wanted all ties to your soul mate to be severed from you. I think you did it to protect him, a just-in-case measure.”

“In case of what?”

“In case you fall from grace.”

I blanch. “You mean, in case my soul becomes the property of Sheol?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” I feel nauseated.

“It’s not even a possibility, Evie. I’ve been with you in your lifetimes. They’ll never turn you. You’ll destroy them.”

“What else do you know?”

“After you made this deal to return for another life, Russell and Anya fell in love with one another. They’ve been together since just after your return from being Simone in France.”

“Were they happy together?”

“They seemed to be, but he still felt an obligation to you. He insisted upon joining you for this mission. Not that he had much of a choice. Heaven requires soul mates to have a chance to meet one another in a lifetime. He had to return with you, but he didn’t have to stay. Your soul mate was separated from Anya when he was born as Russell. You followed him here soon after. Your evolution into Angel started the countdown for his death. He would’ve died some other way if not on the floor of the 7-Eleven to be with her.”

Guilt makes my throat feel tight. “But Heaven was telling me to save him in my dreams.”

“They were presenting you with the option.”

My stomach clenches. “Why did they change the plan and take you away from me?”

“I can only speculate. I was not allowed to know the mission other than that I was assigned to protect you as your guardian, like I always am. When I was taken from you, I know that without me to advise you otherwise, you clung to Russell. You made the choice to keep him—to change him—to make him like you. Heaven didn’t break their promise to you not to let him stay here...you let them out of it.”