Inhale, Exhale (22 page)

The right side of my body hit the garage roof hard, and I heard the distinct sound of ribs cracking. But my body didn’t stop there, and neither did the pain. I continued to roll until my body slid off of the roof and finally landed on the hard cement of the sidewalk. My leg landed first at an odd angle as white hot pain shot up my spine. My head hit next, bouncing with a hard thud. The last thing I remembered as I blacked out was the coppery taste of blood in my mouth and wondering how long it would take me to die.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

I awoke with a smile on my face, sun shining brightly through the blinds. I checked my phone but had no message from Jillian.
She must still be sleeping
, I thought. I yawned, stretching as I decided what I should do this morning. Since I didn’t get to bed until almost five, I didn’t feel guilty about sleeping in late and having a leisurely morning, going out for fresh bagels at my favorite little café a few blocks from my apartment. I took it and my coffee and decided to enjoy them on the roof deck of my apartment building. It was a perfect day out, and it seemed a shame to waste it indoors.

I was spreading the veggie cream cheese on the last half of my poppy seed bagel when my cell phone rang.

“Hello, is this Mr. Grant Hardwick?”

I swallowed my bite and chugged a sip of coffee before answering. “Yes, this is he.”

“Hello, Mr. Hardwick. This is Nikki Beck from Google, Inc. I’m calling in regard to the internship you applied for with our company.”

I put the bagel down and sat up straight.
Holy crap, I can’t believe this is happening.
“Yes, I did apply several months ago. But they told me the internships were booked up for the next two years.”

“Well, you’re in luck. We have an opening for the fall, and we’d like to fly you out here for an interview tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes, we have a limited time frame for the interview process, and we would need to make a final decision no later than the end of the week. Is this a position you’d be interested in?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

“Wonderful. Mr. Hardwick, one thing we are concerned with is we see you currently reside in Georgia. You do understand this internship is in California and would require a year commitment. We have a partnership with Stanford, and with your GPA it shouldn’t be a problem transferring if you’re accepted for the internship.”

I blew out a breath. I’d applied for the position back in March. I never thought they’d call me so soon. I thought I’d be on the waiting list for at least a year before getting an interview.

Jillian’s face flashed through my mind. How was I going to break this to her? We were on the cusp of something amazing. What would happen if I got this position? But this was everything I’d always wanted. I had to at least try for it.

“Mr. Hardwick? Are you still there?”

“I’m here, sorry. I understand the requirements of the position. And yes, I very much look forward to the opportunity to interview with your company.”

“Fantastic. I’ll set up your travel reservations and email you a confirmation. When you arrive, take a taxi from the airport to our headquarters and check in with Judy in reception. You’ll stay overnight and fly out the next morning.”

“Great, I’ll see you then.”

I hung up the phone and sat it back on the table next to my now-cold bagel. This was my dream interview at my dream company, so why wasn’t I as excited as I should be? I should be doing back flips, but instead my gut was twisting uncomfortably. It seemed like things were finally starting to work out between Jillian and me. Did I really want to give that up already?

I was getting ahead of myself. I didn’t even have the position yet. I would go for the interview, and wait to see how it went. There was no use worrying about a future that wasn’t set. Surely Jillian would understand I had to go on the interview at least. I’d regret it forever if I didn’t.

I picked up my trash and headed back to my apartment to take a shower. Tonight I was going to have dinner with Jillian’s parents and grandmother for the first time, so before heading over to see her I needed to stop and get a haircut.

I drove to the Super Cuts in the Target shopping plaza. There were only a few places to get a haircut in town: Super Cuts, Jimmy the Barber, the expensive salon over in the Brunswick Mall, or Ms. Patty’s Palace, where all the grandmothers from the Baptist church went to gossip all day.

I chose the lesser of evils. The stylist, who I wasn’t even sure was out of high school yet, was in the middle of washing my hair when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I wasn’t in a position to answer, so I let it go to voicemail. Thirty second later, it buzzed again.

“Hey, hold on a sec,” I told the girl, digging into my pocket for my phone, thinking it might be the girl from Google again. I slid the bar on the screen to answer without looking at the caller ID and put it to my ear, keeping my eyes closed so shampoo didn’t get in them.

“Hey, I’m not really able to talk right now. Can I call you back in about a half hour or so?”

“Grant? It’s Ava. You need to get to the hospital—now! There’s been some kind of accident.”

I sat straight up, using the little towel tucked into the back of my neck to wipe my face. “What do you mean ‘some kind of accident?’ Where’s Jillian?”

“Listen to me! That’s what I’m trying to tell you. A neighbor found her on the sidewalk. They think she fell off the roof, but I don’t know a lot of details yet.”

I stood, peeling a few bills and throwing them at the stylist as I headed for my car. “What the hell happened?” I put the car in drive and flew through town, desperate to get to Jillian. “Why the hell would she be on the roof? It doesn’t make any sense!”

I could hear Ava was crying, and then the phone was passed to someone else.

“It’s JT. Listen, man, the information we’re getting is sketchy so far, but it’s bad. Just hurry.”

That was all he said before he hung up, leaving me in a panic.

Why the fuck did I leave her? I should have stayed last night—she asked me to stay.
My fist slammed down the steering wheel as I screamed in frustration. I was helpless to do anything right now, and the feeling made me sick as guilt twisted in my gut. I did the only thing I could do: I drove faster and I prayed.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

The trip to the hospital was a blur. I was on autopilot and didn’t remember even getting in my car, let alone driving. My mind was in a fog, and the only clear image I could see was Jillian’s face. I had barely put my car in park near the entrance of the emergency room before I ran out of it. I left the keys in the ignition and didn’t even bother to close the front door. If they wanted to tow it, fine.

I scanned the ER waiting room, hoping to see someone who could give me more information. When I didn’t see anyone I knew, I flew up the stairs, taking them two at a time, to check the waiting room near the surgical floor.

Ava paced the hall, and I allowed my heart to drop out of my throat slightly. If she were pacing, it meant she was waiting. Which meant there was still hope. Trish was crying on JT’s shoulder, as he hugged and rocked her slightly in an attempt to comfort her. I found his presence odd but dropped it from my mind immediately. Jillian was my number one concern.

“Please, tell me you know something more,” I begged, running up to them. Tears brimmed, but I blinked them away.

“Her parents are in with the doctors and police now. We should know more soon,” Ava said.

The next twenty minutes were my worst nightmare come to life. The entire situation conjured up so many memories of my mother and the agony of losing her. I remembered the doctors coming out, in their long white coats and solemn faces. My dad knew before they said a word. He crumbled to the ground and begged for it not to be true. I stood, stunned into silence, as the doctors gave us their sympathies and assured us they did everything they could. That everything wasn’t good enough. And now…If Jillian didn’t make it…

My legs tapped incessantly. I leaned my head into my hands, pressing my thumbs against my eyes as a stress headache formed. I couldn’t sit; my body was too tightly wound, so I began to pace. As I wore a path in the carpet, I remembered it was only few weeks before, when I was trying to soothe an anxious Jillian as she awaited news. And now here I was, in the same predicament.

Her parents came out from an adjoining room, both looking like they’d been run over by a truck. Mrs. Mayfield’s eyes were bloodshot with dark circles under them. She was clutching a tissue, slowly shredding it. Her husband looked pissed, like he wanted an outlet for his emotions.

Ava, Trish, and I stood when they entered. I held my breath and waited for what they had to say.

“She’s in surgery. The fall broke her leg, cracked several ribs, and punctured a lung. They’re going to look for any internal bleeding, too. We won’t know more until after they’ve gone in and had a look at the full extent of the damage.” Her bottom lip quivered, and she turned to her husband, burrowing into his side as she broke down again.

“The police found evidence of a break in, but nothing was stolen. We think maybe she startled the burglar or something and tried to escape,” her dad said.

“No, sir. It wasn’t a burglar.”

We all turned at the sound of the new voice. It was Jillian’s ex-boyfriend, Christian. Someone had worked him over pretty bad. His arm was in a sling, and he had fresh bruises and cuts all over his face.

“I’m afraid this is all my fault.”

“Christian?” her mom questioned, leaning over to make sure she was seeing right. “What do you mean this was all your fault?”

I growled, and JT stood next to me, ready to intervene. We’d talked several times over the last few weeks about him, and JT knew that I despised the prick already. And now this? I was out of mercy.

“She was attacked because of me. It was a guy who I owed money to, and Jillian happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time last week. When he came to collect today, I tried to keep her name out of it. But he beat it out of me.”

He gave this guy her name? Are you fucking kidding me? He basically fed her to the wolves, the fuckin’ coward. I didn’t think my opinion of him could be any less than it already was, but he just lowered that bar into the ground.

I lost it. My hands fisted instantaneously, and I took a step forward, ready to attack. Since the drug dealer didn’t finish the job and kill Christian, now I was going to. My fist flew into his face, making contact. I could hear the bone in his nose crunch beneath my fist. I pulled back and punched him again, making contact with his jaw this time. Blood spilled onto the floor and I could hear Mrs. Mayfield cry out in surprise. JT grabbed at me, attempting to pull me off of Christian, who lay limp in the fetal position below me.

“This is your fault, you stupid son-of-a-bitch!” I twisted out of the arms holding me back and rammed my fist in his face again, seeing nothing but red. My fists continued to pound the bastard’s face until I was once again pulled off him. “I swear to God, if you ever so much as even think about stepping in the same zip code as her again, I will rip out your spine and feed it to you before breaking every bone in your body.”

The prick lay on the ground, his chest heaving as he tried to take a ragged breath. Red mucus-streaked blood dripped out of his mouth and down his chin. He spat out a tooth, spraying blood on the ground at my feet. He never bothered to try to stand back up. It was a smart decision on his part, because I’d just knock him back down.

“Dude, enough!” JT tightened his grip on my arms as blood dripped from my knuckles.

The fucker’s eyes held genuine remorse as he glanced around the room at each of us.

“I had no idea this would happen. She wasn’t supposed to do that. They weren’t supposed to hurt her. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry for everything,” he moaned.

The words and his regret weren’t enough to make up for his actions, but before I could strike again he whispered, “Please, tell me she’s going to be okay. That she’s not…”

The words broke me. My vision blurred behind the tears that welled in my eyes. Was she going to...? She couldn’t…? How did this happen? How did I let myself fail to protect her? She trusted me, and I let her down. I wanted to blame him, but really I had no one to blame but myself. I failed her.