Infinity Lost (15 page)

“Hello? Who is this? This number is restricted and encoded . . .”

“Jonah, it’s Finn. You need to come home right now!”

“Finn? What’s wrong?”

“Nanny Theresa killed her nurse. She’s got a gun and she’s trying to shoot me and Carlo.”

“Oh no . . . no. Finn, are you in sublevel nine?”

“Yeah . . . how did you . . . ?”

“I received an alert of a security override. I was already on my way back. Get out of there, Finn. Now!”
The phone beeps and Jonah hangs up.

“Jonah wants us to get out of here,” I whisper.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Carlo whispers back. “How do we open the door?”

“If it’s anything like levels one and two, there should be an exit button right beside it.”

“Yeah. She might hit one of us when we step into the light, though. Maybe we should just wait until Jonah gets here?”

“Maybe. But if Jonah opens that door, she might shoot him instead. Wait, how many shots has she fired? Was it four or five?”

“I dunno,” whispers Carlo. “Why?”

“She’s using an antique revolver from her room. It holds only six bullets. I’ve got an idea. Let’s give her something else to aim at.” I touch the screen of Carlo’s phone and it lights up; I hold it up high with my fingertips.

“Finn. Don’t!” Carlo pushes off the wall and grabs for the phone. A shot rings out, followed by the shattering of glass. I quickly snatch back my hand as the phone is knocked from my fingers, its light snuffed out.

BANG!

Another shot echoes down the passage and I recoil as a spray of warm droplets speckles my face.

No.

Please.

No.

I blindly grope in the dark with panic. “Carlo!”

There’s no answer. “Carlo!
Answer me!
”

I find his ankle, jump to my feet, and pull with all my strength back toward the entrance.

“Talk to me Carlo,” I say between strained breaths. “SAY SOMETHING, DAMMIT!”

I drag him until I feel the cold metal of the door, and my fingers scramble desperately along the wall for the button. There isn’t one.

I drop to my knees, and feel along Carlo’s arms and chest. “Carlo, don’t leave me. I need you,” I whimper, tears welling in my eyes. I feel up his neck and then across his face. It’s soaked wet with his blood.

“No.”

Rage boils up inside me. Anger and shock like I’ve never felt before spreads like fire and ice through my whole body and envelops my heart like an iron cage. I feel pain and indescribable, unbearable, burning sorrow.

“You’ve killed him.” My chest starts heaving uncontrollably. “You’ve killed him.” I haul myself to my feet and stand in the dark, my clenched fists dripping with Carlo’s blood. I scream like a raging storm into the void,
“You’ve killed him, you evil bitch!”

Without thinking I sprint down the hall blindly, my footsteps echoing on the metallic floor as I go; the only image in my mind is the end of Nanny Theresa once and for all.

“Where are you?”

The sound of my footsteps changes like I’ve entered a bigger room. I hit something hard and there’s a loud clattering of metal objects as I sprawl across the floor. I scramble to my feet, looking from side to side, cursing my eyes for not seeing in the dark.

Suddenly a computer screen blinks to life across the room. It isn’t bright enough to completely light the whole space, but it’s more than enough for me to see Nanny Theresa’s ghostly illuminated face. My eyes begin to adjust, and in the dim white glow from the screen I see that I’m standing in the center of what looks like an operating room. There’s a stainless steel table with lights hanging over it, and vague shapes of machines and equipment line the walls. A flimsy wheeled trolley lies overturned at my feet and all kinds of surgical tools are scattered across the floor. I snatch up a scalpel, kick the trolley aside, and stride toward Nanny Theresa. She’s sitting in what resembles a dentist’s chair with her eyes closed, her chest rising and falling ever so slightly, the antique pistol resting in the palm of her open hand. A computer screen is mounted in front of her face on a metal swivel arm, and there’s some kind of thick metal band with wires coming out of it clamped to her forehead.

I push the screen aside and grab the collar of her hospital gown.

“Wake up,” I hiss, my hand shaking with rage as I press the blade of the scalpel to her neck. “I want to look into your eyes before I kill you.”

Nanny Theresa slowly opens her eyes and smiles at me. “Cut my throat if you like . . . Infinity,” she says looking sideways at the computer screen. “But I’ve already . . . escaped.”

I look over to the monitor and see two words flashing in bright red.

UPLOAD COMPLETE.

“What do you mean, you psycho bitch?” I growl at her. “You’re sitting right here. Either you live and go to prison, or I kill you myself. You can’t escape what you’ve done.”

She looks me right in the eyes. “Now, now, child . . . that’s no way to speak to your . . . dear old Nanny Theresa.”

She gasps, and with her final breath utters her dying words. “Onix. Send.” Her eyes roll back in her skull, her head slumps to the side, and she’s gone.

The monitor changes. Now there’s only one word flashing in blue.

SENDING.

“No!” yells a voice from behind me. I turn and see Jonah standing in the half-light with Carlo’s limp body in his arms. He lays him down on the operating table and rushes over. He pushes me out of the way and shakes Nanny Theresa by the shoulders. “What have you done, Theresa!”

“She’s dead, Jonah.”

He doesn’t even seem to hear me.

He grabs the computer screen on both sides and stares at it in horror and disbelief.

“Onix! Cancel last action! Onix!” There’s no answer. “What’s happened to Onix, Finn?”

“Nanny Theresa said she . . . muzzled him?”

“That explains why I couldn’t use the pod. I had to break into the emergency exit to get down here,” he mutters.

“What’s going on, Jonah? What is this thing she’s hooked up to?” I ask as he jabs and swipes at the screen.

“It’s a neural interface. Your father designed it to map thoughts and record memories. It looks like Theresa has used it to digitize her brain patterns into the mainframe.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s uploaded her mind into the computer.”

“That’s impossible. Isn’t it?”

“No. Not impossible. Just extremely dangerous. It’s been attempted only once before, and that person didn’t survive, either.” Jonah is deep in concentration, frantically tapping code after code into the screen.

“Who didn’t survive?”

Jonah stops tapping and meets my eyes. The look on his face immediately tells me that he’s regretting the words he just spoke.

“My . . . mother?” I manage.

Jonah turns back to the screen and jabs at it more quickly and twice as hard as before. “That’s not what I said, Finn.”

“My mother uploaded her mind? Why, Jonah? Can she see me? Can I talk to her?” My words fall on deaf ears.

“Onix! Answer me, Onix!” Jonah bellows.

“Neural interface data upload successful.”

“NO!” Jonah yells at the screen and roughly pushes it away.

“What does it mean, Jonah?”

“What it means is that Theresa digitized her thoughts and sent them to the Hypernet. They could be anywhere. She could be anywhere.”

“Just like my mother could be?”

“Now is not the time, Finn,” Jonah says coldly. “Onix.”

“Yes, Major Brogan?”

“Lights.”

The room is flooded with bright white light. I squint as my eyes adjust.

Jonah must be insane if he thinks avoiding the subject of my mother will end this conversation, but for now the multitude of questions I desperately need to ask will have to wait.

I lost my dearest friend today.

I force myself to look over at Carlo. I slowly walk to the side of the operating table and look down at him. His face is smeared and his hair is wet with blood. He looks so peaceful, like he’s sleeping. Tears pour down my cheeks. I reach out my trembling hand to touch his arm, but my fingers recoil against my will. I just can’t bring myself to do it.

“Carlo is gone, Finn,” whispers Jonah.

I close my eyes, hang my head, and sob quietly. Images of Carlo dance through my mind: his smiling face, his deep-green eyes, his olive skin bronzed richer by the sun. I’m there, too, running after him through the trees of the Seven Acre Wood, sitting beside him talking for hours in our hidden places among the fallen leaves, fighting with him, laughing with him, riding horses through the fields with him, lying in the soft grass telling him all my deepest secrets. Memories of every summer we ever had unfold—colorful, vivid, and beautiful like pages in a picture book made just for us, containing the happiest pieces of my childhood frozen in time forever, and ending with the moment of our first kiss.

Our last kiss.

Deep down I think I knew, but was never brave enough to confess: I had fallen in love with the boy by the pond in the woods.

I wipe the tears from my eyes and look down again at Carlo. Only then do I realize that I’m holding his lifeless hand in mine.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Jonah whispers from behind me. “I promise, tomorrow it will all be like it never happened.”

Suddenly a sharp sting bites deep into the back of my neck. Almost instantly, my limbs turn to jelly and I collapse to the floor. I can’t move anything except my eyes, but I’m still wide awake and alert.

What’s happening?! Jonah! What are you doing?!
I scream the words as loud as I can but my lips don’t move. They don’t make a sound.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jonah placing a syringe on a kidney-shaped stainless steel tray. He walks over to Nanny Theresa’s body and removes the thick metal band from her head. He grabs the front of her gown and roughly pulls her off the chair. Her lifeless body flops into a heap beside me on the cold white tiles. Her limp tongue lolls out from the side of her mouth like a pink eel, and her dead, gray, sunken eyes stare right through me.

Jonah walks over to me, crouches down, and lifts me into his arms like a floppy rag doll. He carries me over to the chair and gently places me upon it. He takes the metal band and puts it on my head.

All I can do is glare at him in disbelief, my lips totally paralyzed, my eyes glistening with pleading.

“Just like it never happened, Finn. I’ll fix your memories. Wipe this whole day clean away. I promise.” He says the words with a warm smile that sends shivers through every atom of my entire useless body.

Jonah swings the computer screen toward him and begins typing. “You fell from a horse and were knocked out cold; you’ve been in bed for two days recovering.” Tears flood down my face, dripping off my chin into my lap. “Nanny Theresa retired and moved away to live with her sister. She’s very happy.” A pathetic whimper is all I can muster from my half-open mouth.

“Carlo went to live with his mother in a different country. You’ve grown apart and lost contact.”

Anger, betrayal, sadness, and fear course through my veins, my mind, my body, and deep into my suffering soul.

“Virtually fabricate the scenarios, please, Onix, and prepare the relevant neurons for erasure and memory implantation.”

“Yes, Major Brogan.”

You’re not my brother, Onix. You’re nothing but a filthy traitor.

Jonah gives me a look of concern and my skin not only crawls but prickles with hatred. “You won’t remember this horrible day, sweetheart. I swear.” He reaches over and wipes the tears from my cheek. I wish I could pull away and spit in his face.

“Try and relax, Finn. I realize that you don’t remember, but you and I have been doing this since you were two years old. This won’t hurt at all.” Jonah smiles to himself. “Y’know, it’s funny how many times I’ve told you that.”

My mind writhes in horror and disgust. I feel dirty, my entire being white-hot with the pain of a lifetime of betrayal.

Jonah takes a deep breath and attempts one last look of reassurance. Then, he simply swipes his finger across the screen—casually, as if erasing a smudge from a mirror—and the raging inferno of pain and sorrow in my heart is utterly and instantly snuffed out like the dying flame of a lonely candle.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Carlo
 . . .
where are you?

I can’t see you, Carlo. I can’t see anything. Help me, please, help me.

His warm lips find mine in the darkness.

There you are. I thought I’d lost you. Please don’t leave me.

My chest rises and falls.

Where are we, Carlo? Why does my throat hurt so much? Why can’t I see you, Carlo? Where are we?

A slow, hollow, thumping rhythm echoes through the darkness.

My chest rises and falls again and there, far above me, a fuzzy circle of light slowly grows into view.

I don’t understand what’s happening, Carlo.

I feel his lips against mine once more.

What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I move?

“C’mon, Finn!” The voice is faint and distant, distorted but familiar.
Is that you, Carlo? Where are you?

“C’mon, Finn!” the voice calls again, clearer this time, closer. “Don’t give up. Come back to us.”

You sound different, Carlo. Are you in the light? I’ll go to the light, Carlo. I’ll meet you there. I’ll see you soon.

“C’mon, Finn, open your eyes!” the voice demands, loudly now, as if someone is shouting in my face.

A warm mouth on mine, my chest rises again.

“C’mon, Finn, breathe for me. That’s it, open your eyes!”

A slap to my cheek, a sting of pain, a huge intake of air, my eyes flick wide open and I’m back, coughing and retching.

“Give her some room, everyone,” says Professor Francis.

My eyes begin to focus on the blurry face above me. “Ryan?” My voice is feeble and raspy.

He’s kneeling beside me, leaning over me. I lie there for a moment, wheezing heavily, staring up into his golden-amber eyes.

“Hi there,” he says with a little smile.

“Hi,” I whisper back. Ryan gently brushes my tangled hair from my face and softly strokes my cheek. I close my eyes at his touch.

“What happened?” I murmur.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I found you lying up here. You’d stopped breathing. You’re OK now, though.”

“You saved me?”

He nods.

“Thank you.”

“Ah, it was nothing. You didn’t need to stop breathing just to get a kiss from me y’know. You only had to ask.”

My weak laugh turns into a cough. Bettina’s face comes into view, her eyes filled with tears.

“Finn, oh my god, I was so worried.”

“What’s happened here?” Percy’s panicked voice says from somewhere.

“It looks like Finn had another fainting spell, but this time she stopped breathing,” Professor Francis explains.

“Is that what happened?” I ask Ryan. “Did I faint again?”

“It looks that way,” he says with a compassionate smile.

“My neck hurts.”

I gently touch my throat and suddenly gasp like I’ve been electrocuted. With a stabbing flash of colors, everything comes flooding back. The pirate construct, Nanny Theresa, the murdered nurse, Onix, Carlo getting shot, Nanny escaping, Jonah’s inconceivable betrayal, invading my mind and replacing my memories with forgeries. Everything that was taken from me that day is bubbling back into my mind like an overflowing sewer.

It’s not my imagination; it’s not! In my heart I know it all to be true. Does that mean every other dream I’ve had in the past week is true as well? They must be. I know how he did it now. They must all be true. I feel like a sword has cut my life open and I’m bleeding all the lies away. Jonah said I wouldn’t remember anything. But I have remembered. It’s all come back, and it’s come back with a vengeance. Suddenly the worst realization cuts the deepest of all.

Carlo is dead. He died in sublevel nine almost two years ago.

I sit bolt upright and vomit all over the deck.

Feet spring away from the puddle I’ve just brought up. “Ewww, that’s gross,” says a voice that sounds a lot like Margaux’s.

“It’s a perfectly natural response,” Professor Francis says in my defense.

I wipe my mouth on the back of my sleeve, trying my best to ignore the cruel giggles and disgusted glares from the hovering faces. “Get me out of here.”

Ryan takes my arm and helps me to my feet. The students in a semicircle around me, with their mixed looks of pity and amusement, make me feel even sicker.

Percy pushes through. “Come, Miss Brogan. This is serious. I’ll take you to the infirmary so Nurse Talbot can take a good look at you.”

He tries to take my arm, but I jerk it away.

“Don’t touch me. I don’t want to go to the infirmary. I want to get out of this place.”

Percy looks confused. “Please, Miss Brogan. Fainting twice in one morning is definitely something we should be concerned about.”

“I didn’t faint, I was . . .” I quickly scan the deck and spot the pirate captain over Margaux’s shoulder. He’s standing by the ship’s wheel exactly where he was before, still as a statue, like nothing ever happened.

How do I explain this without sounding like an absolute lunatic?

I realize that I can’t. They’d have me in a padded cell by this afternoon.

Carlo flashes through my mind again and sorrow grips me. My head hurts and my throat aches, but the pain of those combined is nothing compared to the knife in my broken heart.
Oh, Carlo. I’m so sorry.

I need to get away. I need to gather my thoughts. I need to get out of this horrible place. I don’t care about seeing my father anymore. Not even one little bit. I could demand to go home, but Jonah would be there and I don’t want to be anywhere near him ever again. At that very moment I realize that, sadly, I don’t have anywhere else to go but . . .

“I want to go back to school.”

“I think you should lie down for a bit first, Finn,” says Professor Francis.

“I want to go.”

“Lie down in the nurse’s office and we’ll collect you after the tour.”

“No. Get me out of here.”

“Finn, think of everyone else . . .”

“Get me out of here . . . NOW!”

Even though I’m the only one who knows what really happened, everyone around me is already looking at me like I’m crazy. Even Bit.

“Calm down, Miss Brogan,” Percy orders.

I take a deep breath, gather what remains of my strength, and pull my tie from my neck. “Fine. I’ll find my own way out.”

I try to avoid Ryan’s and Bit’s eyes as I push past Jennifer and Brody and a smirking Brent and tromp down the stairs that lead to the lower deck of the ship.

“Miss Brogan!” Percy barks at my back. I ignore him. I stride across the deck, stepping over the bodies of the fake pirates as I go. I reach the railing and lean over it, trying to judge the distance to the water. It’s only about fifteen feet. I know that’s not the real ocean down there; it doesn’t stretch on forever. It’s just an illusion, and if Percy won’t let me off this thing then I’ll leave on my own. I sling one leg over the railing with absolutely no idea what I’ll do when I reach the edge of the dome. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

“Wait! Miss Brogan!” shouts Percy. I can hear him scrambling down the stairs behind me. “Help me, boys. Grab her before she hurts herself!”

I glance back and see Brent and Brody leap down the stairs. They trot ahead of Percy and make straight for me.

I dismount the rail to face them. “Don’t touch me. I’m warning you,” I growl, as I ball up my fists and take a fighting stance.

Brent and Brody stop and look at each other, grinning, obviously highly amused by my threat. Shaking his head, Brent approaches me, with Brody only a step behind him.

“I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if I have to!” I shout. Brent laughs out loud.

“Hey! Leave her alone!” Ryan yells. He leaps down the whole flight of stairs with one jump and runs toward the two boys.

Brody turns back to stop him and they both struggle into a grapple as Brent advances toward me.

When he’s one step away, Brent makes a grab for my arm. I easily swat it aside. He tries again with the other hand, gripping my wrist tightly. In the blink of an eye, I circle my forearm, reverse the hold, and twist down hard. Brent’s body swivels involuntarily as he drops to his knees, his back arched, his mouth open in a silent scream, his eyes filled to the edges with shocked surprise. Someone in the group upstairs giggles.

“I warned you,” I hiss in his ear.

“Miss Brogan! Stop that at once!” shouts Percy.

“Finn Brogan, release that boy! Right this minute!” commands Professor Francis.

I respect the Professor. I look over toward his voice and loosen my grip. Big mistake. Free from my hold, Brent spins, quickly rising from the ground, and, with a loud smack, uppercuts his fist squarely into the bottom of my jaw.

A gasp of utter disbelief issues from everyone on the upper deck. Just how much of a bastard Brent is becomes glaringly clear with that one cowardly act. Even though I can’t stand him, I never would have pegged him as the kind of guy who would punch a girl in the face—even if I did just make him look like a fool in front of everyone. That was a hard punch; I’m momentarily stunned. I stumble and lose my footing, tripping over my own feet.

“Security four!” Percy bellows into his wrist.

I’m suddenly woozy. Dizzy, my balance wavers and then abandons me altogether. Clutching desperately at the air, then the railing, my fingertips scramble for a hold but I’m powerless to stop as I topple over the side of the ship, plunging backward into the water below. I shut my eyes tight, preparing for the impact, uncertain whether the motionless, computer-generated ocean below will be liquid or solid. There’s no splash. My back hits hard and flat on the surface, knocking the wind out of me and smacking the back of my skull with a jarring thud. Sparkles of color scatter in the blackness.

“You’re not concentrating, Finn.”

I open my eyes to an outstretched hand. The hand is attached to a familiar arm. An arm tattooed with three lightning bolts across the blade of a sword. The arm leads up to a familiar face. A face I never wanted to see again.

It’s Jonah.

I want to scream and run, but my hand reaches out on its own and Jonah pulls me up off the floor of the combat room in sublevel two.

“You should have seen that foot sweep coming from a mile away.”

“Sorry, I was thinking about something else,” I murmur as I absently dust myself off.

Jonah walks over to the weapon rack and grabs the two towels that are hanging over it. “How do you expect to defend yourself out there in the big, bad world if you can’t keep focused? A mugger isn’t just going to wait for you to gather your thoughts, y’know.” He throws me a towel and wipes the sweat from his brow with the other.

“Were you thinking about Carlo?”

“No.”

“Don’t lie, Finn. You’re no good at it.”

I sigh and drop my shoulders. He’s right. I couldn’t lie on a bed.

“OK, yes. I was thinking about Carlo. He never answers his phone, Jonah, he doesn’t return my emails, and he doesn’t spend summer here anymore. He was my best friend for most of my life and now he’s disappeared off the face of the earth.”

“You know where he is, Finn. He moved to Italy with his mother. He has a new life now. Maybe you should take the hint and leave the boy alone.”

“But I think about him all the time. Sometimes I get a bad feeling—like he’s in danger or something. I just want to know that he’s OK. And living in Italy is no excuse for not texting back.”

I wipe my forehead angrily, throw the towel at Jonah, and cross the mats toward the metal passage that leads to the pod. “Carlo is a douche bag and I’m done with training today.”

“I agree, Finn. Carlo is a total douche bag.”

I smile toward the ceiling. “Thank you, Onix! Nice to know that
someone
is on my side.” I throw an accusing look at Jonah.

“Finn, would you stop teaching Onix to speak like a sixteen-year-old girl?” Jonah half-heartedly scolds. “And what do you mean, you think about him ‘all the time’? What bad feelings? How often is ‘all the time’?”

I spin on my heels to face him. “Lately, it’s
all
the time. It feels like he’s alone and hurt in the dark somewhere. I know how crazy it sounds. Oh, and just in case you forgot, I turned seventeen a week ago. There was cake and everything.”

Jonah doesn’t give me an answer. To be honest I didn’t even expect one, but he’s just standing there and looking at me like he’s studying a problem, his face furrowed with concern, quietly talking to himself. I hear him mutter, “Why isn’t it working anymore? For some reason they’re just not holding like they used to.”

Jonah keeps staring at me, actually, kinda
through
me, absent-mindedly stroking his chin, lost in thought.

“Why is
what
not working? What are you talking about? Hello? Earth to Jonah,” I say, waving my hand back and forth.

“What? Oh, it’s nothing. I was thinking of something else. Which, my girl, is exactly what you need to do. I think it’s about time I showed you sublevel nine.”

Jonah puts his arm around my shoulders and walks me down the passageway.

“There’s a sublevel nine?”

“Actually, they go all the way down to sublevel ten.”