Infinite Love (14 page)

‘Here you go. Two large pizza’s, two tubs of ice cream and I got potato wedges as well, I know she comfort eats when she’s upset. How’s she doing?’

‘Surprisingly good. Her dad’s coming up in the morning so I can help with Greyson’s tomorrow.’

‘Great. I’ll really miss you tonight,’ he advised as he ran his thumb over my bottom lip.

‘I’ll miss you too. Will you be ok on your own?’

‘I’d rather you were with me, but I’ll be fine,’ he laughed. ‘I’d better get going. Call me before you go to sleep so I can say goodnight.’

‘Will do. Thanks again.’ I kissed him and could hardly believe how relaxed he was about it. This time last year he’d have freaked out having a night apart. I watched him go then shut the door. ‘Usual places in the lounge?’ I called.

‘Affirmative.’

‘So?’ I asked as I wiped my mouth and left four slices of pizza in my box.

‘They do
great
pizza and wedges,’ she nodded as she chowed down on them all.

‘Not what I was asking. You’ve been holed up all week and not spoken to anyone about it, talk to me.’

‘You know why I was so upset?’

‘That you never saw her to try and resolve stuff, or had a chance to say goodbye?’

‘No, that’s not what’s been eating me up all week,’ she replied with an unapologetic shrug. ‘I’ve been stewing about how badly I screwed up and hurt you and Doug.’

‘Seriously? You’re more upset about that than your mum?’

‘Seriously. I mean I’m not a total cold hearted bitch. Shitty excuse for a mother she may have been, but she was still my mum. I was more upset about you guys though, you’re my family and you were right, I was using Doug to make myself feel better. I just wanted a connection with someone who really cared about me, not have it just be all about the sex like it is with Sam, and I hate myself for doing that to Doug.’

‘So to avoid a meaningless sexual encounter with Sam, you have a three way with Doug instead, who you feel a connection to, to make yourself feel better, but you feel even worse about it?’ I asked confused.

‘Don’t use bloody logic. It was illogical. I’m illogical. I’m fucking Spock from Star Trek.’

‘Without the pointy ears.’

‘Or the penis, thanks.’

‘Or the fact that he says everything is logical, not illogical.’

‘No he doesn’t, it’s the other way around.’

‘Whatever, stop trying to side step the issue. So you’ve not spoken to him since?’

‘Spock?’

‘Doug!’

‘Other than telling him why I was incommunicado, no,’ she replied, looking at me embarrassed. ‘Hit me with the judgement.’

‘I said my piece that night Lex, and you obviously know that you did wrong. Not the threesome, I wasn’t bothered about that, I was upset about you involving Doug in it.’

‘Prudie Page seems relatively chilled about having seen three people in the middle of sex.’

‘Prudie
Austin
isn’t as prude as you think. It’s not the first one I’ve seen, but definitely the shortest timeframe.’

‘What?’ she gasped looking at me amazed.

‘While you and Sam were getting it on last Valentine’s day, Gabe and I were at a sex club in London watching people get
their
freak on,’ I shrugged, confessing for the first time. I burst out laughing as I saw the look of shock on her face.

‘
You
went to a sex club? Some sleazy basement place?’

‘Please, this is Gabe we’re talking about. Top notch clientele and very swank.’

‘I … I’m … shit. I’m lost for words.
Gabe
was ok you fucking someone else?’

‘No, of course not! He’s chilled out a lot, but not
that
much. Someone accidentally saw me having an orgasm when Gabe was giving me oral outdoors once and I found it quite hot. So he set it up for us to have sex while other people were watching, even though he didn’t really want to, he did it because he thought I did.’

‘O my God. You’ve changed.’

‘I’m just more sexually aware that’s all,’ I smiled as I grabbed my ice cream.

‘So you did it?’

‘No, I sort of liked the idea but bottled it. We did watch a few others, some were a turn on, some … not so much,’ I shuddered as I thought of the guys all over each other.

‘Shit, you need to give me the name of this club, Sam would
love it
. Is it discreet?’

‘Apparently so, I’m pretty sure I saw someone else famous in there so I’m sure he’d be fine. You’d want to go?’

‘Yeah! It obviously won’t come as a shock to you now, but I like having two guys at the same time. Do people swap partners and have group sessions and things there?’

‘I think pretty much anything legal goes,’ I nodded.

‘Wow, we’re so doing that next time he’s in London,’ she nodded. I looked at her and frowned, but I couldn’t avoid asking with our deadline looming.

‘So, I hate to bring it up, but Greyson’s officially opens on Saturday, are you and Doug going to be able to work amicably? We agreed you’d both work all the nights for the first week to get in the swing of it together. I know you won’t be covering the same nights moving forward, but you’ll need to liaise for hand overs of any issues.’

‘I’ll call him tomorrow,’ she sighed. ‘Got to face him some time. I’m sure we’ll be professional, we don’t want to let you both down, not after you’ve given us both this great opportunity.’

‘All I needed to know.’

‘Mia … I’m so sorry about what I said to you that night. I just … I was angry, really angry about her fucking up her life like that, and mine and Dad’s. I felt so hurt and you and me … well we’ve always been these two screw ups, going through crap together and I feel like I’m being left behind. You’re moving on with your life and changing for the better and I’m just stagnating, wallowing like a bloody Hippo. For a minute or two I was kind of jealous that you were so happy and I couldn’t share how upset I was with my news and I sort of hated you for that small moment, then … then I saw how much I’d hurt you. I was more upset thinking I’d lost
you
than over my mum and …’ she stopped and wiped her eyes.

‘Lex,’ I sighed. ‘Don’t do this, forget it.’

‘I can’t. You went through hell with Adam and Milo and for me to have said what I said … it’s unforgiveable.’

‘I won’t lie Lex, I don’t think I’ve ever felt as hurt, not even when Gabe and I ripped each other to bits, but … I physically hurt Gabe when I woke up in that hospital room. He knew I needed a release for my anger and pain and I kept punching him until my arms gave out. He let me do it because he loved me and he knew it would help, even though I hurt him. That night I was your punching bag, I just didn’t know why, that’s all.’

‘See, even when I’m in the wrong you still manage to be nice,’ she sighed.

‘Why do you think you’re being left behind? Do I not spend enough time with you?’

‘I didn’t mean … not in
physical
sense. You’re pulling your shit together, growing up. I mean you’re Mrs. Austin now and thinking about starting a family and I’m just … me, still. One night stand good time girl Lexi. What if you keep changing and I don’t? We won’t have anything in common, I mean our crap’s what’s always held us together.’

‘Do I need to slap or tea towel whip you? Or maybe empty a bottle of cheap Zinfandel on
your
head?’ I uttered in amazement. ‘Our crap brought us together Lexi, it
doesn’t
hold us together. The fact that we love and trust each other and have fun holds us together and that will never change. Are you trying to say I’ve matured that much that I’ve become a boring old fart? Have I turned into Georgie?’

‘No,’ she chuckled as she wiped her face again. ‘You know Georgie’s not all that bad, she was fun on your hen night and the night before the wedding, but she’s no Mia.’

‘Thank you. So what
are
you trying to say?’

‘I need to grow up,’ she sighed. I raised an eyebrow at her. ‘I know, impossible, right?’

‘No, but you only do it if you want to, not because you think you should. Are you really that unhappy with your life?’ I asked, she shrugged and bit her thumbnail, that was as good as a yes. ‘So this is a New Year Lex, you’re training in something you enjoy, starting a new well paid part time job on Saturday and you’ve ditched Dan. You’ve still ditched him, right?’

‘Yeah.’

‘So what else needs to change?’ I knew it was Doug, she was questioning whether she should try, if he was willing to, but pushing her wasn’t going to help.

‘Nothing I guess, if I can try and only sleep with Sam and focus on studying and my job that’s pretty grown up, right?’

‘It is,’ I nodded. ‘So can we talk about your mum?’

‘What’s there to say?’

‘How upset are you?’

‘Well, it’s not like she was in my life anyway, so it’s no great loss, but … I hate the thought of her lying there for days like that. With no one who cared enough to notice she’d died.’

‘That’s not your fault, Lexi. She drove everyone away, it could easily have been you all alone this week, injured or dead and she wouldn’t have known because she showed no interest in your life. Please don’t feel guilty.’

‘It’s not guilt so much, just … I don’t know … I guess I always hoped that one day she’d kick the booze and wake up. Try and reconnect with me. I mean it wasn’t like I was hinging my life on her having a sudden turnaround and becoming the best Mum in the world but …’ she sighed and wiped her eyes again. ‘I kind of hoped she’d change and at least show some interest in my life.’

‘I get that,’ I nodded. Exactly how I felt about Richard for a long time. ‘Is this something you’re going to fret over?’

‘No,’ she said firmly with a shake of her head. ‘It’s done and dusted, I just … I feel really bad for saying it when she’s dead and all, but … I kind of hate her for being so selfish.’

‘Don’t feel bad. You feel what you feel and don’t let anyone else tell you whether that’s right or wrong, ok? No one else knows what you’ve been through with her.’

‘Thanks.’ She flashed me a grateful smile.

‘Will there be a funeral? Has it happened already?’

‘Don’t know,’ she shrugged. ‘I didn’t want to know. I knew I wouldn’t have been able to go on my own so I thought it was better to not know, in case I got upset on the day that I wasn’t there.’

‘You were worried about getting there?’

‘Well, you know I don’t do trains, but no. I meant I’d only have gone if you’d been here to come with me.’ She looked at me as she chewed her lip. ‘I wouldn’t have wanted to do it without you.’

‘Well, if it hasn’t already happened and I agree to come with you, will you go?’

‘I guess.’

‘I think you ought to, even if it’s to say goodbye to help you move on, no one says you have to look back. How did you know she’d died?’

‘Police called me when they checked the apartment. A neighbour remembered my name and they found the moving card I sent with my address and number here. My Uncle, her brother, is sorting everything out.’

‘You have an Uncle?’ I looked at her surprised.

‘Yeah, obviously we’re not close either. He cut her off when she refused to go to rehab when she was pregnant with me.’

‘O Lex,’ I sighed. Thank God she had some love in her life from Mum, Gerry and I and hopefully now her Dad. I’d kill him if he let her down now. ‘You need to look into the funeral first thing in the morning, in case you’re too late.’

‘Will you do it with me? Can we spend tomorrow together?’

‘I’ll sit with you while you make the call, but I’m really sorry I
have
to be at the Greyson’s tomorrow day. We have the party to sort, the staff meeting and getting ready for opening night, but … don’t be mad with me, ok? I rang your dad and he’s coming up tomorrow morning so he can spend all day with you.’

‘Was he mad with me? I know he’s been ringing but I just couldn’t face dealing with it all without you.’

‘He’s upset that he wasn’t here for you, like I was, but no, he’s not mad. Just concerned. It will do you good to spend some time with him, with family.’

‘You’re my family.’

‘I know, but he’s blood, Lexi. Maybe you can talk about her and he can shed some light on her past, help you come to terms with it all,’ I suggested. She looked at me with a sad smile and nodded.

‘Ok, I’m all emotioned out. Can we do something fun? I need some fun.’

‘Well, there is one thing I’d
love
to do with you.’

‘You dirty cow, did you not get enough sex on honeymoon?’

‘Plenty, but I was actually thinking about having a threesome myself and now seems a good a time as any. How about it? You, me and Betty.’

‘Betty? Who the hell is Betty? Sounds like one of those OAP’s who were offering sex for cash, plus even if I was to do one of those with you in the mix, I’d still need cock.’

‘O, I think you’ll change your mind when you meet Betty. She has seriously sexy curves, yet firm in all the right places, great headlights, if you know what I mean,’ I smiled as I mimed gripping them with my fingers. ‘And I think you’ll want to get right into her Lex, she’s so smooth inside and when she opens up you’re going to scream with delight.’ I giggled as she looked at me horrified. ‘She’s my wedding present from Gabe.’

‘Gabe got you a lesbian OAP? He’s seriously off his romantic game, he completely romanced out on that wedding.’

‘Do you want to come for a ride with me and Betty or not?’ I asked trying to keep a straight face as looked at me totally flummoxed.

‘Tempting but I’ll pass anyway, thanks,’ she said firmly.

‘Really? She’s got a bit of a rubber fetish and
rims
like you wouldn’t believe.’

‘
Ewwwww.
Ok, what the hell is going on here? You’re freaking me out. You let a
woman
rim you?’

‘Well she does have a rather large stick.’

‘Mia Page, I’ll beat you with a stick if you don’t spill,’ she glared.

‘So you don’t fancy it?’ I pouted.

‘I’d rather drink my own wee, thanks very much,’ she said firmly.

‘What a shame,’ I sighed as I pulled my car keys out of my pocket and twirled them. ‘She has an iPod dock and a
mega
sound system, a Sat Nav and does 0 to 60 like … shit off a shovel.’

‘No way,’ she sat up and stared at me wide eyed.