Infinite Desire (26 page)

I
give him a weak smile before I settle my eyes back onto my skirt; I just keep
staring at the floral pattern, in an attempt to distract my mind.

When
Zak enters the Courtroom, I begin to feel my anxiety build; Kayden squeezes my
hand and kisses my knuckles to comfort me. It helps a little, but I’m still
shaking on the inside.

When
the Prosecutor calls my name, my ears ring and I feel nauseous. It takes a
little coaxing from Kayden before I stand and make my way to the stand. I just
keep repeating Kayden’s words of encouragement in my mind.

As
soon as I sit down, I finally break and look at him. He looks the same, only
bigger. Not fat bigger, muscularly bigger. He seems to be spending all of his
free time in prison working out. His face is expressionless and cold as his
dark brown eyes lock onto mine. It sends shivers down my spine.

I
once thought his Italian Guido persona was attractive and charming, now it’s
just downright terrifying. 

Standing,
I raise my right hand as instructed and pledge my oath to tell the truth,
nothing but the truth, so help me God. Licking my lips, I swallow a few times.
I’m suddenly feeling parched.

Seeing
Zak has the opposite effect on me than I thought it would. Instead of crippling
me it’s given me the strength to persevere. I will make him pay for what he
did. I have to live forever with killing Jacob, but I know what I did was in
self-defense. If I hadn’t been able to, I would be dead.

I
mentally prepare myself to re-tell my story to the jury. I haven’t spoken about
that day since I was seeing my therapist.

~~~

After
the jury deliberated for over an hour, they had reached a verdict. I felt a
rush of relief flood my body as I heard the jury say they found Zak guilty on
all counts. The judge sentenced him to seventy years to life in prison, with
the chance of parole in fifty years.

Stepping
out of the back of the Audi, I follow Kayden through the doors of Knox Hotel.
He has some work to do here and then he has a meeting about some new account
he’s trying to land for Beaumont Industries.

Entering
the penthouse suite, I feel a calm come over me. I did it. I testified and even
though it got rocky near the end, I was able to tell the jury how I managed to
get my pistol out from under my seat to stop Zak and Jacob. I think the image
of Jacob dying before my eyes will forever haunt me, but with time it’s getting
easier. I just look at my life and know without those actions I took that day,
I’d not be here, and it makes it a little easier to cope with.

After
grabbing a bowl of chocolate covered pretzels and a glass of wine I plop down
on the sofa and turn on the TV. Kayden sits down beside me, with a worried look
on his face.

Resting
his arm behind me along the couch he stares at me intently and asks, “How are
you doing? I want the real answer Savannah, not some bubble gum bullshit
answer.”

I
take a sip of my wine before answering. I don’t know what I’m feeling to be
honest. Snuggling against him, I rest my head on his chest and look out the
wall of windows overlooking the busy street of Post Oak Blvd.

“I
don’t know what I’m feeling.” Shifting, I tuck my legs under my butt, and look
up at Kayden, “I have a mixture of emotions flashing through me right now…” My
voice trails off as I reflect on everything that’s occurred today. Letting out
a small sigh, I say, “I’m happy we can put this behind us, but sad that Zak
destroyed his life and Jacobs all because they couldn’t just ask for help. They
thought kidnapping me for a ransom was the answer to all of their problems.”

Kayden
moves his arm from the couch to around my waist, hugging me tightly against
him, “Those are all reasonable emotions to be feeling right now. All I know is
you have the biggest heart of anyone I know. Even after everything he’s put you
through; you’re still sympathetic towards him.” I can see the anger erupting in
Kayden’s eyes as he runs his fingers through his hair and looks up at the
ceiling. Dropping his eyes back down to mine, they are dark and masked with
anger. “I don’t feel an ounce of sadness for that fucker. If it was up to me,
he’d be getting a lethal injection in his God damn arm, not sitting in a
fuckin’ jail cell for the rest of his life.”

Not
wanting to dwell on this subject any longer, I climb up onto my knees, slide my
hands over Kayden’s freshly shaven face and cup my hands over his ears. I kiss him
with an explosion of passion, deepening the kiss as I slip my tongue into his
mouth. I savor the contentment and peace washing over me as his tongue caresses
mine, and his strong arms cocoon me against him.

I
hold onto him never wanting to let go. I’m kissing him to not only show him how
much I appreciate him being by my side today, but to help numb the pain we’ve
both been suffering since that December night. I also want to show him that
we’re stronger because of it and we can finally move on, leaving the past, in
the past. I look into his eyes and whisper “Let’s take a bubble bath.”

It’s
a gorgeous day, so Brooklyn and I are spending the afternoon by the pool,
sipping sweet tea as we scan through the gossip magazines on our Kindle’s. I
can’t help but laugh at the garbage. They’ve been printing story after story of
Kayden and me ever since our wedding. The People Magazine spread published this
week is featuring our wedding; it’s surreal seeing us on the cover in our
wedding attire on the beach in Galveston.

Normally,
I dread reading an article about us, but this is one I could read over and
over. The pictures inside are breathtaking, they even featured some pictures
from the reception. I literally burst out laughing at a picture in the bottom
of the article of us all dancing to Luke Bryan.

The
only downfall is now every magazine in the world is on baby watch! The other
day they snapped a picture of Brooklyn and me walking out of a restaurant in
Sugar Land. I had my hand over my stomach telling her I was full…They captioned
it:
‘Savannah gushing about her pregnancy with her best friend Brooklyn
Bennett.’

It’s
been four weeks since we came home from Italy and I’m driving myself crazy as I
wait to start my period…or not. I had it just before our wedding and was
supposed to start yesterday, but nothing. I’m afraid to get my hopes up because
my doctor said my cycle may be a little off as it adjusts to not taking my
birth control.

Kayden’s
been away the last three days in Hong Kong for business, so I’m not sure if I
should take a test before he gets home or wait for him. If I do it before his
return and its negative, only one of us will be disappointed. I’ll think about
it later.

Sipping
my tea, I about choke as I flip to a page talking about fall premiers in
October; there’s a review for Celebrity Rehab with the world’s biggest
douchebag: Logan. “Oh my God. They only gave this season two stars.” I laugh,
as I show Brooklyn the review. “I still cannot believe he went on that show for
sex addiction; what a joke. I’m glad he’s Giselle’s problem now.”

Brooklyn
sits up, and leans over towards my lounge chair and reads the review, “That’s
fuckin’ hilarious! Don’t even get me started. That bitch is lucky I didn’t ruin
her perfect little plastic nose that night in the club. Those two are a train
wreck just waiting to happen.”

We
spend the next hour tanning and gossiping about all the juicy stuff that’s been
happening on the set of
As the Days Go By
. Brooklyn just renewed with
the production company extending her contract to February. Her character has
had a really great storyline, and there’s talk that she could get nominated for
a Daytime Emmy!

Finally
giving into our grumbling stomachs, we head into the house to find something
for lunch. Before I reach the kitchen, I have to stop for a moment because I’m
suddenly hit with a dizzy spell. Everything goes black as I see lights floating
around like lightning bugs. I brace my hand on the wall as I try to steady
myself.

“Hey,
you okay?” Brooklyn asks with concern in her voice as she grabs my arm.

Blinking
a few times the spell passes, “Yeah, I think I was in the sun too long, I just
need some water. That sweet tea must’ve dehydrated me.”

Walking
into the kitchen beside me, Brooklyn quickly grabs me a glass of water, “Here
drink this, it sounds like heat exhaustion. I guess we should’ve stayed in the shade;
we were in the sun for long time.”

Sitting
down at the island, I sip the water. “Thanks; the air conditioning is just what
I needed, I’m feeling better already.” I tell her, as I take another sip of
water.

“You
sit, and I’ll make our lunch. What do you feel like?” She asks, as she walks
over to the fridge.

I
know we have a ton of leftovers because Frederick insists on making huge meals
all the time. Kayden and I try to cook, but Frederick enjoys cooking for us, so
we mainly do our own cooking on the weekends while he’s off.

“How
about we warm-up left over pizza from last night? Just pop it in the oven for a
few minutes.” Brooklyn pulls the pizza box out of the fridge, preheats the
oven, and pulls out the leftover Chef Salad I made for us yesterday.

With
Kayden gone on business, she’s been here the last few days keeping me company
while Dixon is busy running Beaumont Industries. I finished my work the first
night he was gone due to boredom, so it’s been nice having her here.

Two
bites into my salad, my stomach starts churning. Just the smell of the dressing
is making me nauseous. I’ve been feeling sick all week, but I think it is the
residual effect of the stress I went through with the trial. I’m afraid to
think it could be morning, afternoon, and evening sickness, because I don’t
want to get my hopes up.

“Are
you sick? You’ve barely eaten the last three days?” Resting her elbow on the
island and her chin in her hand she peers at me, roaming her eyes across my
face. All of a sudden her eyes get huge, “Oh. My. God! Are you pregnant!?”

Stunned,
I stammer as her question soaks in, “Ummm…I don’t know?”

Brooklyn
slaps her palm on the granite counter top and yells at me, “What do you mean
you don’t know!?”

Giggling
because that’s the first thing I always do when I’m nervous, I nibble on the
inside of my lip. “My period is late.” Holding my hand up I stop the Brooklyn
freak out, “But! It’s possible that it’s late because I just got off my birth
control or it could be the stress from the trial, so I don’t want to get my
hopes up.”

Jumping
down off of the bar stool, Brooklyn grabs my hand and yanks me to my feet,
“Dizzy spell because of the heat…nausea…irritability…”

I
raise my eye brow at her and rest my hands on my hips, “Excuse me? Irritable?”

Brooklyn
rolls her eyes at me, laughing she says, “You’ve been a little more bitchy than
usual, I just blamed it on you missing Kayden and his Texas size-cock the last
few days…but now it all makes sense. You are sooo knocked up! You two must’ve
been going at it like fuckin’ jack rabbits in Italy!”

Shaking
my head, I start pacing back and forth in front of her. What if I am pregnant?
This is freakin’ crazy! It means my wish in Italy really came true. Holy fuck.
Am I really ready for this? Is Kayden really ready for this!? Oh my God I’m
freaking out, and I don’t even know if I am pregnant yet!

“Savannah!
Take a deep breath girl. You look like you’re on the verge of a major melt
down.” I can hear the amusement in her voice, she’s enjoying every minute of
this.

I
remember on more than one occasion her having a major panic attack thinking she
was pregnant by a guy she hooked-up with. Now she gets to relish in watching me
on the verge of having one.

“What
if I am? Do you know how crazy this is? We’ve only been trying a few weeks
Brooklyn!” I shout running my fingers through my hair.

A
sly smile creeps up on her lips, “Well, Knox is an Alpha male, and we know he
can go deep, so it’s no big shock that he would have super swimmers.  Three
major factors to guarantee success…he is a baby making machine, we could
totally Stud him out!” God, I love her.

Giving
in to Brooklyn, I agree to take a test and settle this; we make our way up to
my bathroom where I have a few boxes I ordered online. I had to be discrete,
the last thing I need is people taking my picture buying a pregnancy test. It
would hurt too much to read the pregnancy stories that would arise after that
if the test turned out to be negative.

“Okay,
hurry up and pee on this thing so we can see if I’m going to be an Auntie!”
Tearing open the box, Brooklyn shoves the two tests at me, and pushes me into
the bathroom.

After
doing my business, I set the tests on the sink, and go back out to the bedroom to
sit with Brooklyn on the love seat. We stare out the window at the horses
roaming around the field as we await my cell phone to beep alerting us that
it’s been three minutes.

Neither
of us says a word while waiting. As soon as my phone beeps, we both jump.
“Ohhh, times up!” Brooklyn shouts, jumping to her feet and dragging me into the
bathroom.

My
fingers are shaking as I pick up the tests.

Holy
shit!

Snapping
my head from the tests to Brooklyn, then back to the tests I read the words on
the clear blue test: four + weeks pregnant!

“Well?”
Brooklyn asks snapping me out of my state of shock. Turning to her, my eyes are
welling up with tears. I can’t believe it. I’m pregnant.

Shaking
my head up down at her, I smile through my tears, “It say’s I’m four or more
weeks pregnant…”

Instantly
Brooklyn starts screaming, jumping up and down as she wraps her arms around me.
The excitement consumes me and before I know it we’re laughing, crying,
screaming and jumping around my bathroom.

~~~

After
Brooklyn and I came down from our baby news high, we immediately started brain
storming on how I should tell Kayden. It’s been two days since I took my
pregnancy test, and it still hasn’t truly sunk in. I don’t think it’ll feel
real until I see the baby for myself.

I
made an appointment for this week with an OB/GYN in Houston; I got the
appointment around the time Kayden normally takes lunch so he can come with me.
Today, I stopped by a gift store and bought a sparkly box, baby themed tissue
paper with baby bottles on it. I’m going to put the two pregnancy tests inside
the gift box and give the gift to Kayden when he gets back to Sugar Land after
I pick him up at the airport.

I’m
a bundle of nerves the entire ride to the airport. Jax senses it the moment I
climbed into the back of our Audi.

Glancing
at me in the mirror he asked, “Everything okay, Savannah? You don’t look well?”

God!
I am like a freakin’ open book. I wear my emotions on my sleeve, so whenever
I’m feeling upset or stressed it’s noticed.

I
give him a warm smile trying to mask my nerves, “Yeah, everything’s fine. Just
excited to see Kayden; it’s been a long five days having him away.”

Thankfully
he accepts my answer and continues driving without pressing me any further. I
wanted to drive myself to the airport, but Kayden insisted I have Jax drive me.
Even though the wedding is over, there are Paparazzi popping up all over Sugar
Land, Galveston and Houston. There’s nowhere we can go without them being there
following us around.

As
soon as Kayden climbs into the backseat, I show him how badly I’ve missed him.
I immediately climb into his lap and give him a proper welcome home kiss.

Finally
coming up for air, I lean up sporting the biggest smile as Kayden slides his
hands around and cups my ass. “Did ya miss me, darlin’?” He drawls, as he
squeezes my butt cheeks in one hand and slides the other inside my skirt.

Wiggling
under his touch, and blushing because Jax is only a few inches away, I whisper,
“Baby, I missed you, very, very, much…” as I lean down and press a kiss just
under his ear. I chuckle lightly against his neck as I feel his cock hardening
in his slacks and pressing against me.

He
blows a puff of air out as I slide off of his lap. “Fuck baby, it’s been five
long days. I’ve got the worst case of blue balls in my life.”

Laughing
I scoot up against him as he wraps his arm around me, and adjusts his pants
with the other hand. “Don’t worry, we’ll have fun making up for those five long
days tonight.”

A
low chuckle escapes him as he gazes down at me, “If you think I’m waiting ‘til
tonight you’re out of your mind woman. I plan on getting busy as soon as we
walk through the front fuckin’ door.”

I
shiver with anticipation. “Well, before you get too crazy and try to take me
right there in the foyer, I have a Savannah surprise for you.”

Curiosity
getting the better of him, Kayden forgets about his hard-on and is instantly
intrigued. “It’s not my birthday; it’s not our anniversary…so why do you have a
surprise for me?”

“You’ll
find out soon enough.”

Kayden
gives me a big smile and says “I love Savannah surprises!” I roll my eyes and
giggle. He loves surprises and presents…just like a little boy.

Leaning
forward between the seats, he slaps Jax on the shoulder, “Okay man, let’s get
home in record time; I gotta see what surprise the wife here has for me.”

Knowing
Kayden so well, he’s probably thinking the surprise is me naked tied in a bow.
I laugh to myself thinking of the last surprise I gave him ended with me
restrained to a hotel bed and him doing all sorts of naughty things to me.

~~~

My
stomach is doing flip-flops as I retrieve the present from our bedroom.
Kayden’s downstairs waiting for me in the family room. When I walk around the
corner I find him sitting on the couch with Bentley lying on his lap. He missed
his daddy as much as I did.

“My
present! I wonder what it is.” Kayden says, as he tears the wrapping paper
open.

I’m
so nervous; I can’t stop bouncing my foot as I wait for Kayden to open the box.
Bentley is looking at me like I’ve lost my mind as he lies on the floor by our
feet devouring his bone.