INFECtIOUS (39 page)

And
We're
Off

I
physically bump into him at the top of the stairs. We are alone in the dark
standing so close we are still touching. The sound of him breathing fills my
ears in the silent old house. He sounds so—big and strong. I feel my breath
catch raggedly with the anticipation of being so close to him. The attraction I
feel consumes me like nothing I've ever experienced. Desires I've never felt
are waking up in me for the first time. I forget why I came up the stairs and I
stand still, wanting to be close to him like this for as long as it can last.

An
involuntary shiver of excitement runs through me. He chuckles a little and I'm
suddenly embarrassed. I must seem like such a little girl to him.
So inexperienced with guys.
So overly
excited by just being near him.
The haunting thought that he's probably
been with a lot of
girls
sweeps over me again and
steals my eagerness. The moment over, I step around him and walk a few feet
away. I feel depressed and frustrated and it's too much emotion in too short a
time. My feelings spilling out in my words, I sound flat and angry when I
speak.

"Andrew,
Captain Markowitz, is here. He found the tunnel. He came alone. He said he
recovered the entrance well and he thinks we are safe for tonight."

I
can't see his face in the darkness and he doesn't immediately speak so I don't
know if he's angry. I figure he will be. Andrew Markowitz has to be one of his
least favorite people. He kept Matt locked up while Thomas hung on the edge of
death. Matt steps closer to me and the moonlight filtering through a broken
window shows me his face etched with confusion. It's not what I was expecting
to see.

"Why
did you move away? Are you mad at me?" He asks with quiet, genuine
concern.

I
don't know how to answer him. I'm still embarrassed by my lack of experience.
Still frustrated that I don't know enough about him.
And we
are still so different. I know he couldn't possibly understand any of that. If
I told him I wanted to be special to him, to know that he would love me
faithfully, forsaking all others, and ideally marry me—I'm pretty sure he'd run
away from the crazy girl from God Town. I remember the other reason I came
looking for him.

"I
need to ask you something."

"Anything,"
he states openly, wanting to please me. I find a small smile resurfacing from
the gloom of my confused emotions.

"My
dad and Aunty Betty—were they like me?" I pause, "Or like you?"

"They
were like you," he says evenly.

I
feel my shoulders relax in relief and two tears spill down my cheeks from out
of nowhere. They are Alive! Even if I can't ever get to them, I'll see them
soon. We'll all be together soon no matter what.

Matt
sighs loudly, a sigh that is full of frustration, and asks, "What if they
hadn't been immune like you? Would you have cared less for them? Are we really
all that different, Ivy?" He reaches out and takes my hand and I notice he
isn't wearing his gloves. The feel of his warm hand over mine brings back the
confusing feelings again, though not as strongly as before.

I
don't answer his question, unsure what answer would be the right one. Instead I
ask another question, "Why were they there then? Why were you there?"

"I
was there for my own reasons," he says, vague as always. There is more
mystery to him than I'll ever be able to figure out. "They were there
because Pravda was, uh, interested in them scientifically."

"You
mean experimenting on them?" I ask horrified.

"Yeah."

"And
it's why they want me, isn't it?" I must be stupid. It took me this long
to reach that oh so obvious conclusion. It is no coincidence that Pravda has
them locked up and also happens to want me.

"I
think so. There is something very special about you Ivy. You are really
incredible, you know. What you did the other night—" he trails off,
leaving a heavy silence between us.

I
think he means what happened with Harmony. He thinks I did something
incredible. Once again, he has completely missed the truth. Thomas'
healing,
Harmony's healing, how can a person be so blind?

"Ivy?"
Tim's voice and shadow are suddenly in the room with us. He must have been
worried that Matt would be angry about Andrew.

"So
how many more of your people are going to make themselves at home in my
hideout?"
Matt asks, almost good-naturedly.
I try to pull my hand away from his but he holds onto it tightly, almost
painfully. I'm sure Tim is as surprised as I am about his seeming indifference
to Andrew's presence.

"Actually,
he is just passing through," Tim says softly.
Maybe
sadly?

"I
don't have to come up with free food and shelter for him too?" Matt asks
sarcastically.

I
hadn't thought about our group as dependent on him.
Four more
mouths to feed and no credits to our name.
And none of us can just go
give blood, we are wanted criminals now. Matt can't give enough blood to keep
us all fed. We have a lot to figure out.

"No."
Tim doesn't sound as appreciative as I feel. "He used the tunnel to get
out of the compound, but he's not coming with us."

"Where
will he go?" I ask softly. It must be very hard for Tim to say goodbye to
his only family. Their dad is probably dead, thanks to me. Tim still wants to
come with me, even now when he could leave with his own brother. His love is
overwhelming. I'm choosing my family over everyone else by daring this trip to
Atlanta for a rescue that may not even be possible. As usual, just being near
Tim makes me feel guilty.

"He
isn't sure."

"You
don't want to go with him?" I ask. I just can't understand him picking me
over his family.

"If
you don't want me to come with you Ivy, I won't." Tim says with strangled
emotion. I think he's trying not to cry and I feel terrible. I didn't mean for
my question to sound like it did. He took it like I wished he'd go with Andrew.

"No!"
I say quickly backpedaling. "I want you to come with us!"

Matt
finally drops my hand. He draws phlegm up in his throat with a disgusting loud
noise and spits on the floor. His disgust with my desire for Tim to come is all
too clear.

"We're
leaving in five minutes," he says tersely. "Make yourself useful and
help me haul everything to the car."

I'm
pretty sure he was talking to Tim, but I hurry down the stairs to start the
moving process—partly just to get out of the darkness and away from the angry
confrontation. Everyone but Thomas starts hauling armloads of stuff to the car.
Andrew is a huge help and I can't help but be impressed by the graciousness
that Dr. Markowitz instilled in his two sons.

Little
Rosa is asleep again and Tim carries her up the stairs and gently sets her into
the back seat of the old car, tucking blankets around her. Matt hauls the guns
himself,
none of us feel comfortable touching them. I watch
him place them strategically throughout the car.
One in the
glove box, one under the driver's seat, one under the back seat.
When he
bends to lay the last couple in the back of the car, the gun I held in the
tunnel glints in his waistband. I wish it was overkill, but from what I've
heard about Atlanta, I find myself wondering if it will be enough.

The
basement emptied, we stand at the car and look at each other under a star
filled sky. Matt has loaded Thomas' wheel chair in the back with the rest of
the supplies and Thomas is sitting in the front seat with the door open.

Andrew
clears his throat, breaking the silence, "I'd like to pray for you before
you go."

Without
a word, Matt walks to the driver's side, gets in and shuts his door. The rest
of us glance awkwardly at each other and, when Andrew starts praying, we bow
our heads. Tim reaches out and takes my hand and I assume he is also holding
Harmony's hand. We often hold hands and pray in groups at the U.R.

"Father,"
Andrew says loudly into the night sky. His voice catches for a moment and I
imagine his thoughts have drifted to his earthly father, who is now in heaven
with his Heavenly Father, and my Aunty.

"Lord,"
he starts again, "
protect
them. Guide them in
your will, make their paths clear. We know you are coming soon. May they
accomplish what you have planned for them in the short time we have
left.
You are good, always good. Thank you for healing us,
for saving us. Bring everyone here safely into your great kingdom."

This
last request, though he prays for all of us, was mostly for Matt. I'm humbled
and thankful for this man's prayer over the one I love. I hope he will find the
truth before it's too late.

"Amen,"
Andrew says and we each echo the closing word.

When
I look up, I see that no one else is holding hands.
Just Tim
and I.
I look over my shoulder and see Matt watching us. I drop Tim's
hand and he looks sadly at me.

With
nothing left but to get in the car, Tim, Harmony and I turn to find a seat. I'm
not sure where to sit. Rosa is sleeping in the back and she is my
responsibility. But with Thomas and Matt both in the front, there is only one
seat left there; and I know neither Tim nor Harmony will want to sit there. Tim
sees my dilemma and solves it by sliding into the front seat. So it's guys in
the front and girls in the back.

Andrew
leans down and embraces Tim before shutting his door and then our back door.
Matt cranks the car and the old engine roars to life. Tim starts to roll down
his window for one more farewell word to his brother, but Matt steps on the
gas, kicking up dirt and stones, and we're away. We all turn and look behind at
Andrew standing alone in the starlight. It must be gut-wrenching for Tim.

The
car plows through the thick underbrush, bumping and jostling us as the bottom
scrapes over the rough, dead vegetation. Then we are through the weeds and out
on the road and driving towards tomorrow. The small town of
Toccoa
is quickly behind us and I doubt I'll ever see it again. When I glance back to
say my own private goodbye to the place I've called home, I see billows of
smoke rising from the center of town—and I know it's all my fault.