Infatuated (25 page)

“Ally!” Laura yanked my arm and pulled me away. “Snap out of it. Come on!” She pulled me across the street and all but shoved me into the passenger seat of her car. When she got in on the driver’s side, I heard the click of the locks like thunder in my ears.

I heard her swear, or I thought I did. Her words were fuzzy in my head, barely heard over the buzzing.

“The cops are on their way. Where’s your phone?”

I didn’t argue, even though part of me wanted to. But I didn’t give her my phone either. Dimly, I watched her reach for my purse and grab it out herself. Her frantic voice echoed in the small space.

When the cops showed up, Laura did most of the talking for me. I couldn’t find the words. I tried focusing but I couldn’t. Everything was too big to see.

“Ma’am? Do you have somewhere you can stay for the night?”

“Yes.” I swallowed past a lump in my throat.

Before I had a chance to ask Laura if I could stay with her, I saw Kale running toward me. I shook my head when he reached for me. I couldn’t deal with him and…this.

“Ally.”

“Not tonight.” I turned away to face the officer. “Am I allowed in to…to grab some things for the night?”

He waved for someone to escort me.

I did my best to keep my eyes ahead, to keep my eyes where there were no written words staring back at me. That was impossible once I was in my room. The walls in there were the same as the living room, though the writing seemed harsher. Jagged. There were dozens and dozens of pictures. Of me. Of me and Kale, me and Maxine. Even a few of me and Debbie. There were more of me at work.

How had someone taken so many pictures without being seen? Especially while I’d been at work? I should have seen it.

I ground my teeth together until my jaw ached.

“Miss?”

“Sorry.” I moved across the room to my dresser and cast a glance at my bedside table. I saw the bed first. ‘Mine’ was written on it, too, across the sheets. My blood boiled.

Nothing else seemed ruined except the sheets. Nothing was destroyed beyond repair. It should have made me thankful, but I couldn’t get to that point. I just saw red. Literally. Figuratively.

Yanking clothes out of my drawers, I shoved them into a bag. I made a quick stop in the bathroom and did the same thing. Glass crinkled under my feet and littered the sink. The medicine cabinet mirror had been shattered.

Just like everything else in my life.

As I walked out of the bathroom and headed out, I stopped a few feet short of my bedroom door. A man with a camera snapped pictures. The words written on it were nearly perfect.

If I can’t have you, no one can.

I ran out of the bedroom, through the living room, and out the door. I didn’t stop running until I was at my car, where I bent over, wheezing, coughing, choking.

The maniac would kill me. It was something I’d never let myself believe before. But he would. A man I barely knew, had barely said ten words to, would kill me for…whatever reason. Because he was obsessed. Because he was infatuated with me.

Had I seen him before I started working at the bar? Had I said something to him? What had I done to cause this?

White spots danced in my vision. The world started to spin and everything around me shook. Earthquake?

I felt my legs give. Instead of hitting the ground, arms went around my waist and caught me.

“I’ve got you.”

I blinked up at Kale’s face. “Let me go. I’m fine.”

Except the crazy shaking wouldn’t stop. I held up my hand and realized it was me. God, I couldn’t remember ever shaking so hard.

“You can’t even stand on your own two feet.”

“I don’t need to stand. I’m fine.” I tried shoving him away, but he was like a brick wall. “Let me go, Kale. I’ll sit on the damn ground.”

Reluctantly, he did, and the ground is where I went. I slid down and didn’t even care how many people saw me. Closing my eyes, I leaned my head against the car door.

“They’re not going to let you back in tonight.”

“I know. I’ll stay with Laura.”

“She already left. I told her you were staying with me.”

“Fine.” I grit my teeth again until I thought they’d crack. “I’ll call Max.”

“You’re going home with me.”

“The hell I am.” I pushed to my feet. They were wobbly—a lot wobblier than I wanted to admit—but they held me up. “Neither of us were comfortable with me staying with you. The last place I want to be is where I’m not wanted.”
Where I’m not wanted by the man I love.
“God, I especially don’t want to be around you.”

Anger flashed in his eyes. “You’re not driving like that. You’ll end up getting yourself killed before you ever make it to Max’s house.”

“I’ll have her pick me up then. Will that suit you better?”

“Why are you being like this?”

“Because I’m scared! Because I’m tired and scared and alone.” I clutched my chest, the spot over my heart. “And I hurt because the man I love doesn’t feel the same way. You don’t have to, but I can’t stop feeling it myself, and I can’t just stop wanting you to feel it back. Being around you is too much right now. I can’t deal with my feelings for you and everything else. After tonight, I just don’t have it. So just back off. I’m not feeling fair, or friendly, and I’m not dealing with you and this. One of you has to take a backseat, and tonight, that’s you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I heard you talking to Debbie.”

The silence around us screamed.

Kale scrubbed a hand over his face, then shoved them both in his pockets. “I’ll drive you to her house, okay? I’ll feel better knowing you got there safely.”

“Yes, by all means, let’s make sure you feel better.”

His jaw clenched but he said nothing as he picked up my bag.

“I’ll meet you at your truck. I want to make sure the cops don’t need me for anything else.”

“They don’t. I already talked to one. They might call you in tomorrow for a statement, but you’re fine to leave for tonight.”

“Fine,” I said, getting in the Explorer and slamming the door shut. I stared out the side window to avoid looking at him.

Five minutes into the trip, my eyes closed. When I opened them again, I looked around and swore under my breath. “Why are we at your place? You said you’d drive me to Max’s.”

“I lied. Get over it.”

“You’re a son of a bitch, you know that?”

“It’s been said on occasion.”

I dropped my head to my hands. “I didn’t bring my school books.”

“Your books? You’re thinking about school?”

“Yes, I’m thinking about school.” It was better than thinking about other things.

“Are you really going tomorrow?”

“Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. What does it matter to you?”

“Don’t you think—”

“No, Kale, I don’t think. I’m not thinking about anything, which is the only reason I’m making it minute to minute. Just give me space.”

I jumped out before he could protest and made my way to the back yard. Rolling my pant legs up, I sat at the pool with my legs over the edge. The water was frigid, nearly stealing my breath.

I was barely handling second to second. I was furious at Kale, but I knew a lot of that fury was misplaced. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him walk by. He didn’t stop. He slowed, for a fraction of a second, like he wanted to say something, but then he kept going.

I couldn’t deal with this anymore. Being followed, the phone calls, the pictures. My apartment. It was one thing too many. Earl had gone a step too far.

I heard footsteps a second before I heard, “Ally?”

I closed my eyes. “What, Kale?” I tried to put some heat into my voice, but I had none left. I was empty.

“Are you coming in? You’ve been out here an hour already. It’s getting cold.”

Was it? I didn’t feel it. “I’m done,” I said.

“What are you talking about?”

“With everything. I’m just done. My semester ends in three weeks, and when it does, I’m moving.” I hadn’t planned that at all, but as the words left my mouth, I realized it was the only safe option I had. “I’ll give my notice at the bar tomorrow.”

He leaned back. “You can’t leave.”

“Why not? What’s keeping me here, Kale? You aren’t.”

“So this is about us?”

I almost lied and said it wasn’t. “Not entirely, no, but some, yes.”

“Look, we can work it out—”

“Really? You made it pretty clear there wasn’t anything to work out.”

His eyes flashed. “I never said that, Ally.”

“It was implied, Kale. You wanted an out and Earl gave you one.”

“That’s not what I fucking wanted.”

“No? You didn’t want an out? I heard you. You made it clear where things stood with you. You made it clear you wanted an out and practically said so. You’re getting what you wanted.”

“I didn’t want your apartment—”

“I know. I know that and I don’t think you did. But the rest?” I shrugged.

He took a breath and tried for a small smile. “Just take a few days to think about this. You’re scared, so you’re acting rash and not thinking.”

“Why do I need a few days?”

“Because you’re being unreasonable!”

“Why are you yelling? Why are you even pissed? You don’t even believe me when I tell you I love you. You either think so little of yourself or you think so little of me, and honestly, I don’t know which is worse.” I shook my head. “Do you believe me when I say I love you?”

He didn’t answer.

“Okay, we’ll try an easier one. Do you love me? Can you say those words to me, right now, and mean them? Tell me you love me and I’ll stay. I’ll—”

“So it comes down to that? Either I tell you ‘I love you’ or you leave? I didn’t think you were one for emotional blackmail, Ally.”

“Do you really think that’s what this is?” I laughed. “But wow, I guess that answers which of us you think so little of. Me.” I shot to my feet. “Looks like neither of us knows the other very well, because I thought you knew me better than that.”

“What else am I supposed to think? You’re giving me a goddamn ultimatum. You’re telling me I have to love you or you’re leaving!”

“It’s not a goddamn ultimatum! This is about me and my life! He means to kill me, Kale. Earl. ‘If I can’t have you, no one can’—that’s what he wrote on my bedroom door. If he gets a chance, he’ll kill me. If I stay, that’s what I’m risking. But I would do it in a heartbeat. I’d stay for you, Kale. I’d risk my life and stay. For you. For the man I love. This isn’t me using emotional blackmail to get what I want. This is me asking if it’s worth risking my life for. I’ll risk my heart for love, but I won’t risk it for some misguided responsibility you feel.”

He stared at me with pain in his eyes and shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

For a moment there, for just a split second, I thought I’d seen what I wanted to see—love.
Obviously I know a lot.
“Don’t be sorry. I wanted an answer and I got one.” I smiled the most painful smile in my life. “Thanks for letting me stay tonight. Thanks for…for taking care of me.”

I’d always wondered how people could breakup with people they loved and stay friends. I thought I was levelheaded enough for it. I wasn’t. The thought of not seeing him again was a slow, painful torture that rocked me to the core and had my heart clutching painfully in my chest.

Everything inside me shook, yet my legs were steadier than they’d been all night.

I walked away, biting my own tongue to keep from screaming. My eyes burned with tears and fell down my cheeks in silent torment. My chest tightened, painful, wrenching. It was worse now than it had been when I’d found my apartment vandalized. Walls could be painted, stuff could be replaced.

Hearts were another story.

I’d make it out of town with my life, but my heart wasn’t going with me.

CHAPTER 20

“S
o, tomorrow’s the big day, huh?” Dave asked me.

Laura stood beside him and made pouty faces at me.

“Yup.” In less than twenty-four hours, I’d be gone. My classes ended the week before and I decided to take a semester off before jumping back into things. My dad was in Ohio, so I was going to go stay with him for a few weeks while I figured things out. Laura was taking over my apartment lease because hers was up and she wanted to be closer to the bar.

“Do you need help packing or anything?”

I shook my head. “Already done. What I’m taking is packed, ready to go, and everything else has been given away or is staying in a storage unit until I figure out what to do with it.”

Dave smiled at me. “I’m going to miss you, even if you are a pain in my ass.”

Laura leapt into my arms and made me stagger back. “I’m going to miss you, Ally.”

“I’ll miss you guys, too. And I’ll call and write.”

“And visit?” Laura asked.

I didn’t know if I would visit. I didn’t know if I could come back here and see anything but a mess. “Eventually.”

“Have you heard anything from the cops about…your apartment?”

Everyone, especially Dave, had been careful not to mention Earl’s name around me. I appreciated it and looked forward to being rid of the name altogether. “No. He disappeared after he trashed it. They found his prints and know it’s him, though. Hopefully they’ll catch him soon.” But I wouldn’t be around, even if they didn’t. Not until, or if, the cops needed me.