Inevitable (35 page)

When the yuppie came in a little while after Hilary and Caleb, I chose to ignore the guy. I didn’t know anything about him other than what his brother told me, and I had no intention of getting to know him now. I did however overhear him trying to console Hilary. Telling her Cassandra would be fine, that she was tough and would come out of this with a smile on her face, ready to take on the world.

I just shook my head at his comments. What the hell did he know about Cassandra? She was a fighter, yes, I saw it several times, but I also saw the scared girl hiding inside, holding her back. There was a woman in there desperate to break free, yet she chose to hide in her tiny house in the woods, reluctant to accept her true significance.

“I um…I got to go.” Luke tucked his phone back into his pocket and stood. Throwing on his coat, he looked over at me, as if I cared.

“Something came up at work. Can you tell Caleb I'll stop by later and if there is any word, let me know?”

I nodded once, simply to avoid speaking to him, and turned my focus back to the floor.

The day passed painfully slow. I watched every second, of every minute, tick by with no news and no return from Hilary. The growing frustration inside me began to pour over with each passing hour. Caleb had brought me a sandwich and coffee but my stomach was too knotted to eat.

It was after six o’clock in the evening when Felicia barreled out of the elevator and raced over to Caleb, bracing herself against his forearms.

“Where is she?” her voice broke.

Her eyes were bright-red and swollen. She leaned into him, panting. She looked like she ran a marathon trying to get there.

“Still in ICU. Hilary went back this morning and we haven't seen her since,” he trailed off in a soft somber tone but Felicia was already walking toward the nurses’ station before he could finish.

“Cassandra Clarke. I'm her mother.”

“Yes, right this way, ma'am.”

I watched as she disappeared behind the double doors, wanting nothing more than to follow behind her.

Several minutes later Hilary appeared and I my entire body stiffened, watching her walk defeated over to Caleb, she collapsed into his arms. She cried, and beat against his chest rambling but all I heard was muffled pleas.

Unable to stand there watching knowing she had more information than me I walked over, hands shoved deep in my pockets. I needed answers, now.

“How is she?” I asked, standing in front of her.

“Give her a minute,” Caleb mouthed. His hands running through Hilary's long dark hair trying to soothe her.

I needed to soothe Cassandra, I was tired of waiting.

“Damn it! Just tell me how she is.”

Hilary pulled back from Caleb and wiped her sniffling nose.

“Please,” I begged, my voice nothing more than a breath of air.

Hilary cleared her throat and dabbed at her eyes while I impatiently waited desperate to hear anything.

“She's still asleep. The doctor said she should wake at any time. They won't be able to get a full diagnosis until then.”

“How did she…look?” I asked, relief washing over me. At the scene, I was terrified I was going to lose her. It was a thought I couldn’t bear. I’d just found her and finally she wanted to be with me, I could see it in her eyes as we danced and kissed. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. Oliver adored her and would welcome her with open arms. To me she was the woman I never thought existed, and gave up dreaming about long ago. Losing her wasn’t an option.

“She’s pretty beat up. They said the biggest problem could be her—” Hilary swallowed and looked away. “—her legs…she hit the pavement hard, and the doctors say they won't know the extent of the damage until she’s awake.”

My jaw tightened and I inhaled a deep breath through my nostrils. “I need to see her.”

“Felicia is with her now, but I'm sure she'll let you see her later.”

I turned and walked away, angry at the world. Cassandra didn’t deserve this. I wanted to hit something, destroy everything in my way to get to her. It was harder to breath, my neck painfully stiff. I needed some fresh air.

I rode the elevator to the ground floor and walked out into the parking garage. I rested my back against a cement pillar and pulled out my phone. There were two text messages from Julia, and a new message from an unknown number.

The first text was at 1:32:
Everything's fine here. Mom said she’d keep Oliver as long as you needed. I hope everything is going all right. Luv u

I tried to smile but my lips did not move. I sighed, relieved I didn’t have to worry about my boy, but devastated at the thought of having to explain this. He loved Cassandra.

The next text was at 4:46:
Just checking in. Let me know when there is any news. I’m coming back from the city now. I’m praying for her. Love u.

Taking a deep breath, I scrolled to my voice mail, and hit play.

“Hello darling, it's me. Natasha. I know last night came as a surprise, but I really needed to see you. I miss you and want to come back home. Please Logan. I love you. I'll stop by later at your house.”

Anger ripped through me. I hung up, gripping the phone in my hands. I hadn’t missed the fact that she had not even bothered to acknowledge Oliver, her own son. She was a manipulative bitch, yet I fell for her. I blamed my young age. I was in my first year of college, on spring break, when she entered my life and turned it upside down. It wasn’t love, I thought it was, wanted to believe it, but it was only lust. The only thing we did right was create our son. Something I could never regret.

Natasha was in for a real treat if she stopped by my house tonight. Julia was staying there over winter break and from the sound of it would be there soon. I finally managed a smile—Julia would tear her apart.

I slid the annoying device back in the pocket of my jeans just as it beeped. Frantically I pulled it back out. There was a new text message from Caleb.

Hilary wants to go home. We'll be back in the morning. You need anything?

It wasn’t the message I wanted. Why couldn’t someone just tell me she’d be fine. I leaned against the pillar and replied.

No

Exhausted,
I rolled my head back staring up at nothing.

My legs grew heavy, pulling me down to the ground in agony. With my knees tightly against my chest, I rested my head and for once let go. Fat tears escaped for the first time in years. I wasn’t a crier, not since a child and even then only when I broke my arm falling from a tree when I was eight. When Natasha walked away, I didn’t cry a single time. I drank and made money. That’s what I do, what I did before I met Cassandra anyway, worked hard and fucked harder.

Looking up at the clock in the empty waiting room, I sighed. It was just after three in the morning and my body was fighting against my futile attempts to stay awake. I couldn’t take it any longer, my burning eyes began sliding shut, until the double doors opened and Felicia Clarke walked into the room.

I stood immediately, jumping to my feet and approached her, gauging her expression. Her posture told me everything I didn’t want to hear, but I refused to believe anything without seeing it for myself.

Cassandra was healthy and strong. She would fight with everything she had in her.

“Felicia,” I said, pulling her attention away from her feet.

“Oh hi…um… Logan.” She attempted to pull on a smile, but it didn’t stick. She frowned, barely holding herself together. Her face was pale-white surrounded by bright-red eyes. “Have you been here this whole time?” she asked, tugging her purse up her arm.

“Cassandra and I have become…really close,” I said, unsure what we were after everything that happened. “How is she?”

Felicia shook her head and looked away sniffling. Tears were bubbled up in her eyes when she finally looked back.

“She hasn't woken up yet. I…I need to go home. I need to unpack and—” Her sobs poured out as she cupped her mouth. “I'm sorry. I just can't be here right now. I don't want her to wake up and see me like this. I'm always so strong for her, but I just need…oh…I don't know what I need. I don't want her to wake up alone either but—”

I stepped closer and Felicia wrapped her arms around me, holding me tightly for support. She needed comfort and I was not going to refuse her. She was Cassandra's mother and the truth was, it soothed me as well. She loved Cassandra and for that I felt instantly connected to her.

We stood silently, my hands around her back as she continued to cry. Once she settled, her breathing evening, chest relaxing after a few long minutes, I finally spoke.

“I could sit with her,” I offered, hopeful.

Felicia pulled away and took a tissue from her pocket.

I continued, more eager than ever in my life. “I'm staying all night anyway.” I sighed, wiping my hand over my forehead and through my hair, anxious. “Please, it would mean everything to me.”

“Yeah, of course.” Felicia's voice was broken. She dabbed the tissue under her eyes.

Felicia gave me an appreciative smile and walked back to the double doors. She pressed the buzzer and spoke too softly to overhear. After a brief moment she turned around and gave a single nod. The weight lifted from me. I’d see Cassandra soon. Sit with her, hold her hand, just be there for her.

“Thank you,” Felicia said softly.

I watched as Felicia waited for the elevator and then turned back to the desk.

“This way, Mr. West,” The nurse said, pulling my attention to the double doors I had anxiously waited to enter all day.

Walking through them made everything real again. My legs were heavy and my heart was ready to explode as we walked past another nurses’ station.

“Cassandra's mother said you could stay with her until she returns. Here you go.” The nurse slid the glass door open and waited for me to enter.

At the sight in front of me, my body instantly grew slack. Cassandra was still asleep, but with all the bruises, wires and tubes, I hardly recognized her.

Her beautiful glowing face was marred with deep-purple bruises, but the blood that covered it at the scene had been washed away. A long bandage covered her arm and the blankets were pulled to her chest covering her body.

“The buzzer is right here if you need anything.”

The nurse’s voice faded to a murmur as I sat in the chair next to Cassandra and reached out to hold her hand.

“I'll leave you alone then.” The door shut behind me, but my attention was focused solely on the woman lying helpless in front of me.

Unsure where it was safe to touch her without causing her pain, I caressed my fingertips up and down her arm. I needed the connection, to feel her close to me. She had been in my arms, her body nearly one with me, lips demanding mine. And now here she lay. With one hand holding hers, I brought the other up and gently brushed across her cheek.

“Oh, sweetheart.” I sighed heavily. “What have I done?” I leaned forward and lowered my lips to her cheek, but pulled back. I didn't deserve to kiss her.

Once she awoke, she would throw me out of her room and never want to see me again. Tears stung at my eyes as I rested my head on the bed beside her.

“Forgive me, Cassandra. Please. I never meant any of those things I said. I was upset and confused. I’m worthless without you. Please, sweetheart. You have to fight. You have to come back to me.” Tears streamed down my face, emotions taking over and leading the way for the first time in my life.

I continued with heavy sobs. “Please, Cassandra. Wake up, sweetheart. I'll do anything. I need you. You're all I've ever needed. All I've ever wanted.”

I pulled away and stroked my finger across her chin. She was everything, and for the first time in my life, I knew I would never want anyone else.

I caved and placed a small kiss on her forehead. My lips needed to feel her just once more. I didn’t deserve it but I wasn’t ready to be a gentleman now. Pulling back, I looked down at her, my heart swelling in my chest.

“I love you,” I murmured, my head resting next to her ear.

The words surprised me at first. I knew I cared for her, and that I was falling in love with her, but it was foreign on my tongue to speak it aloud. I once thought I loved Natasha, but it held nothing to what I felt Cassandra. There was a bond, something straight to my soul that I’d never felt with anyone before.