Indulgence (15 page)

His head cocked to the side, his grip around my neck
slackening. Sucking in a deep breath, I flexed against his body. I’d taken him
off guard. Maybe he thought I’d cry and beg to be freed.

“I have to kill someone first,” I went on.

“Then whom will I deliver your head to?”

“You can show me how,” I said, ignoring his question. “We
can do it together. I know you want to.”

He narrowed his eyes and for the first time, I could see
something there. His mask had slipped off and the things he was conditioned to
forget were coming to the surface. That was it, wasn’t it? They’d made him into
an unfeeling monster for their own gain. They’d forced him to be their on-call
killer. I couldn’t think of any other explanation for all the things that had
happened since he found out my secret.

The more that I thought about it, other things began to
stand out, other clues that gave away his fate. His secretiveness, the times
where he’d smiled and it had never reached his eyes, the times where he’d
fucked me from behind…he didn’t want a connection. His camaraderie with Weiss
was another mystery… Weiss must be his handler, which meant he was more to
Royal Blood than a mere numbers man. Weiss was deeper in the game than I ever
realized.

X’s pupils began to dilate as some unknown notion flashed
through his mind. Was he picturing us together, completing hits, completing
orders given to us from the higher ups?

“You and me,” I murmured as his grip slackened from around
my neck. “We can do it together. Imagine…”

He was unstable, teetering on the edge of snapping and there
was no way of telling which way he’d fall. I had to convince him to untie me.
Then I could think about trying to win him over to my cause.

I should’ve been trying to think of a way to escape and
disappear, but my need for X was overwhelming. I’d fallen for him long before I
knew what he was. I wasn’t twisted like he was, but I was twisted in other
ways. We could be twisted together. He kept coming back to me, he showed me
things that he had tried to keep hidden. He was a victim in this just as much
as I was. He’d admitted they’d done something to him.

“That sounds good, doesn’t it?” I asked, prodding him. “We
both want the same thing, X. We can take our lives back. You and me.
Together
.”

I was manipulating a broken man, but I was telling the
complete and utter truth. I wanted revenge and who better to help me with that,
than X?

He stared down at me, stroking his fingers along my tender
neck, caressing the bruises he put onto my skin.

“Untie me,” I whispered.

“Why would I do that?” he replied, wetting his lips.

“If you untie me, I can fuck you with my mouth.”
Dirty
trick, Mercy
.

“Why would I let your pretty lips near my cock? So you can
bite?”

I let my head sink back against the pillows, jutting my
breasts toward him. “Because sucking your cock makes me feel
alive
.”

“If I untie you, you’ll run. I can’t have you running,
Mercy. How would that look?”

“I won’t run,” I murmured. “I can’t.”

He stared at me, his expression unchanging.

“I don’t want to.” Because I didn’t.

His gaze left mine and came to rest on my lips and I could
see it plainly on his face. He wanted it.
Take it, take it, take it
…
Let
me give it to you
.

He shifted his weight from over my body and his feet hit the
floor. Turning away, I watched his back as he walked over to the closet. In the
half-light, I could see the pattern of scars across his back and side,
highlighted through his tattoo. Sick sons of bitches. What had they done to his
body to break him?

X opened the closet and for a brief moment I swore I caught
sight of something that I wish I could instantly take back. Leather, metal and
something that looked like a medieval torture device. X slammed the closet door
shut and my gaze flickered down to his hand. Never mind the fact that he was
still naked, his impressive body on show, my heart thumped with fear just the
same.

He was dangerous before, but now he was something else
entirely. He could go either way into madness and whatever he held in his hand
could either spell my freedom or death. It was that simple.

“X,” I said, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.
“What-”

His thumb pressed on the object in his hand and a blade
flicked from the end. Six inches of steel coming right for me.

Whatever words I was going to use to plead for my life, died
in my throat and the same fear that had threatened to overwhelm me the night I’d
tried to kill Sykes surged again, but this time it was different. This time
there was no escape route. There was no plan if things went south.

X grabbed my wrist and I tried to jerk away, but there was
nowhere to go. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the metal to cut into the
fragile skin of my forearm, but nothing came. There was a sawing sound and the
tension slackened from the rope.
He’d cut me free
. I sucked in lungfuls
of air, my entire body prickling with relief. He leaned over and cut my other arm
free, his expression completely closed off.

As he padded around the bed and stood at the end, cutting
the rope that bound my ankles, I wondered if this was all a part of his game.
Lull his victim into a false sense of security, then when I least expected it…

His gaze met mine and there was a dull thud as his grip
slackened on the knife and it fell to the floor.

I couldn’t let fear rule me anymore. X was my ticket to
Sykes, but it was more than that. He was my ticket to a better life, a
completely screwed up life, but a better one. We were meant to do this
together.

Pulling myself into a seated position, my muscles screamed
at me, the pain from X’s touch almost bringing me to tears. If this was what he
needed to come back, to heal, then I would do it again and again. I stared up
at him and leaned forward, crawling across the bed. I wasn’t lying when I said
I wanted to suck him, I intended to deliver and drive this bargain home. I had
to show him what he didn’t believe. That something else lived inside him other
than the darkness he held onto.

Sliding my legs over the edge of the bed, I sat before him,
his cock beginning to harden under my gaze. Tentatively, I reached up and
trailed my fingertips along the length of him. When my thumb circled his tip,
spreading his pre-come, he let out a sharp hiss, making my gaze snap up to his.
He was staring down at me, watching my every move like a hawk stalking a mouse
it was about to devour. Waiting for it to make a mistake so he could strike.

I grasped his cock in my hand and began stroking him to full
erection, remembering the night at my apartment when he’d forced himself into
my mouth. I hadn’t minded one bit and it was degrading in a way, to be
force-fed something that I wasn’t really into, but the moment X’s cock had slid
across my tongue? I knew that there was only going to be one cock I was ever
letting near my mouth again.

Staring up at X, I guided his length into my mouth,
lavishing attention to his crown with my tongue. I tasted myself on his skin
and I took him deeper, gagging as his tip hit the back of my throat. Sucking as
I pulled back over his length, I licked his crown, glancing up to see his
expression. He was staring down at me, his lips parted. He’d watched me as I
fucked him with my mouth before, but this time was different. He didn’t force
me to take him, he just let his hands hang at his sides as I did all the work.
He gave me
control
.

That was the only thing I needed from him to let me know
that he wasn’t going to kill me. He was going to spare my life…for now.

I fisted a hand around the base of his cock and the other
grasped his balls, massaging. He thickened even more in my mouth as I sucked,
showing him what he did to me. When his breathing picked up and his chest
heaved, he rolled his hips forward, stroking himself against my tongue. He was
with me; I had him right where I wanted him to be.
With me
.

I deep throated him again and held, squeezing his balls in
my hand and he moaned loudly, fisting his hands into my hair. When I pulled
back, I dragged my teeth along his skin, milking his cock as hard as I could.

X came to life, pumping as I sucked him to orgasm. I took
every single drop as he exploded into my mouth, I took it all and swallowed,
soothing his hot skin with my tongue.

When he was done, he collapsed next to me on the bed, his
gaze fixed on mine. He was exhausted. Utterly beaten. What the fuck had they
done to him?

“I won’t run,” I whispered, lying next to him.

His eyelids drooped. “I’m lost.”

“I know,” I replied, reaching out with a shaking hand. “I’m
going to find you.”

My wrists were rubbed raw and I ached all over, but it was
worth it. X was coming back to me.

He sighed. “They were meant to let me go…”

“And they will.”

I thought we lived with the same darkness, but it turned out
I wasn't like X at all. X had been broken, his humanity taken. I gave mine
away.

It was time to take it back for both of us.

I didn’t know what was going to happen, or when X would snap
again, but I was determined to get my revenge. It wasn’t just mine I wanted
anymore. They’d broken X and now Royal Blood had to pay as well. My hit list
was growing and I finally had the guts to go through with it, because now? Now,
I had something to look forward to.

But first I had to fight for X’s soul. I had to bring him
back.

That bright shining future I wanted so badly? It was nothing
but darkness without X.

X

We can take our lives back.

Mercy had opened something inside me that I’d thought was
lost. She was also Alison Crawford, the woman I was meant to kill, but she was
Mercy Reid to me.

She was a new kind of monster.

She’d fallen asleep, the toll of the pain and pleasure I’d
inflicted upon her body overcoming her desire to stay awake. I no longer had
the desire to kill her. At least, not right at that moment. I wasn’t sure what
I wanted to do, but I had to do something. Greggor and Sykes were expecting
results and Weiss…he was smart enough to see right through me if I couldn’t
hold myself together. I couldn’t snap again like I had last night.

I’d stood in the shower, washing her from my skin, washing
her scent and touch down the drain, washing myself until I was as raw as I felt
on the inside, but she was still there. She’d stained me from the inside out.

Standing over her, I eased her bruised body into one of my
T-shirts, my gaze lingering on the black marks around her neck. Beautiful pain…
Tearing myself away, I bound her hands to the bedpost, this time tying her
hands together, instead of apart. She said she didn’t want to run, that she
couldn’t…but I didn’t believe her. I still saw fear in her eyes as she spoke
her promise to me. Was it fear of death, revenge, pain…fear of me? I didn’t
know, but until it was gone, I would restrain her for her own good.

Her eyelids began to flutter as I sat next to her. I’d taken
her right to the edge of death so many times and I’d fucked her so hard… She
was exhausted.

I caressed her face as she stirred, running a thumb over her
full lips, remembering the feeling of them wrapped around my cock. People
pleaded with me to spare their lives all the time. They got on their knees and
cried, bargained, offered me money, and nothing had ever swayed me to even
contemplate sparing them from their fate. Nothing had ever broken through until
sex with Mercy Reid.

Ironic, really. The pussy that had broken the pretty boy
killer.

Mercy’s eyes opened and she stared at me blankly for a
moment until she realized where she was. Her lips parted and she went to raise
a hand, but her movement was restricted. Jerking against the ropes, she stared up
at me, a wild look of fear in her eyes. Fear mixed with confusion.

“X...”

“I can’t have you escaping, Mercy,” I murmured, running a
hand through her hair. At least this time I gave her something to wear,
although coming back to her naked body spread-eagled on my bed didn’t seem like
such a bad idea.

“I promised I wouldn’t run,” she pleaded.

“I know you did,” I said, wondering how much she actually
believed her own sentiment. “But it’s going to take a lot more than one night
to break me, Mercy. A lot more.”

“Please, X.”

She gasped as I brushed my hand over her breast and lingered
on the place I’d bitten in my manic state. The memory of her blood against my
tongue made my cock stir.

“X,” she said again. “It hurts. The ropes hurt my skin.
See?”

She glanced at her wrists, urging my gaze to follow and I
reached up and took her hands in mine. Her skin was raw and peeling, chafed by
the ropes I’d bound her with the night before. Knowing I’d put them there…it
fucking turned me on.

“You have room to sit up,” I said, dropping her hands. “But
I will not untie you again.”

I stood sharply and strode towards the door.

“What are you going to do with me?” she asked and I stopped
in the doorway, not knowing the answer to that question myself.

Mercy had sparked something inside of me, a chain reaction
that I didn’t understand or had the knowledge to stop. She was mine now.

I’d lock her up and keep her there forever if I had to. I
was a master at taking life away, maybe I could plant enough evidence to fake
her death. Then I could keep her forever.

I glanced at her over my shoulder and smiled. “Whatever I
want.”

*****

Keeping secrets was my business, it was who I was, but it
wasn’t something I’d ever had to do with Weiss or Royal Blood. It went against
everything I was to keep them out of the loop. They knew all of my depravities
better than I did.