Indulge (21 page)

“On the third night the palace was attacked. At first, I thought it was another raid by protestors until I saw them. I’ve never seen anything like them.” He trailed off, fixated on the image of evil he had witnessed that still haunted his mind. It haunted mine too. “My first instinct was to run back to Cathair and warn them, but I had made you a promise and I couldn’t just leave knowing they were in danger. And now I know there would have been losses either way. There was no right choice.”

“No, there was. You saved lives, Arrick. So, you did make the right choice.” I wanted to comfort him. “I had wished you were there with me during the attack countless times, but knowing you were here, it means a lot. Even just saving one life was worth it.”

“There was such chaos. There was fighting and screaming everywhere.” He shook his head, still not believing what had happened.

I sighed. “Yeah.”

Regretfully, I knew exactly what he was talking about. I knew no matter how long I lived I would never forget the screams. I would always remember the pain of shear panic that ripped through my chest and the burning rage mixed with fear that I felt when I saw my parent’s in Baal’s clutches.

Swallowing a painful lump in my throat I asked the question I feared most. “Who made it?”

Arrick leaned back in his chair, tilting the legs up off the ground as he dragged his hands through his hair. I felt his emotions tense, but I couldn’t bring myself to meet his eyes. I was too much of a coward, so I kept my gaze locked on the frayed collar around Louie’s neck.

I dared to take one quick glance at Arrick’s face and the sadness I found made instant fear cripple me, “Robin?”

“I couldn’t save them all, Claire,” he whispered. An immediate flare of pain coursed through me. “I tried,” he pleaded.

I refused to accept what he was saying and I threw the blankets off me with reckless abandon. “Where are they?” I flung my legs over the bed and tried to stand. They were wobbly at first, but my determination pushed through and I walked heavily to the doorway, resting my weight on the frame, Louie promptly at my feet.

My room had lost so much of its former beauty. The walls were burned and blackened. Furniture lay in splintered ruins. There were no fresh cut flowers to fill the chamber with their fragrant aroma.

I walked on unsteady legs with a breaking heart and kicked a silver goblet that lay on the floor. It rung a metal twang in the air and rolled in a circle, spinning.

Movement caught my eye from the balcony as Robin came bursting through the curtains. Her tear stained face barreling toward me, her curls bouncing along the way.

A broken, sad laugh choked out of me. We clutched each other in our arms and fell to the ground in sobs. Words couldn’t explain the joy I felt. Robin was more than my friend; she was like my sister. I couldn’t imagine my world without her in it.

“You’re alive!” She pulled me from her and squeezed my face in her hands.

I nodded back at her. “So are you. I thought you were dead.”

Her angelic face shadowed into pain. The playful innocence about her was nearly gone. I could see it in her eyes. “I almost was. Arrick saved me. We didn’t even know they were coming, Claire. We couldn’t…”

I shushed her; I already knew what she would say. “It’s okay.” I didn’t know if it really would be or not, but those were the only two words I could manage. The Dark hadn’t killed us all. There had to still be some hope left for us. At least, I hoped there was.

“What happened to you, Claire? That night at the coronation ball? No one will give me a straight answer.” Robin looked at me, her expression much like a sad puppy.

“Uh…” I wasn’t sure where to begin. Everything was already so ominous, the story of what happened wouldn’t brighten her mood at all, but I couldn’t lie to her. She deserved the truth.

“What did they tell you?”

“First they said you ran away, but I knew that wasn’t true. You wouldn’t leave Louie behind and you wouldn’t have left without telling me. At least I didn’t think you would.”

“I would never,” I admitted. Although I did kind of run away, I had wanted to tell Robin, Arrick just wouldn’t let me.

“Then they said that the protestors attacked your room and killed Luka. And you and Ana were both missing.” She took a breath as she talked rapidly. “But I knew you two wouldn’t go anywhere together. No one would tell me anything and I knew they were lying to me.”

“So, Luka is dead then?”

“Well… yeah, I think so. That’s what Fox told me, but I never saw the body or anything. I asked Dmitry, but he refused to talk about it.”

I cringed at the memory of what had happened and the pain Dmitry must have felt knowing I killed his brother then disappeared with my Blood Mate without a word. I felt like a horrible person.

“Protestors didn’t attack my room.”

“They didn’t? Then what happened? I’ve been feeling so guilty for not being there for you and blaming myself and everyone else in the world. They attacked the library and I ran to help my parents. I mean, there are hundreds of years of history in there and we couldn’t let some hateful humans destroy it.”

I eyed Arrick as he walked hesitantly into the room obviously not wanting to interrupt our tearful reunion. I tried pitifully to console Robin as she uncharacteristically cursed in frustration. “I should have gone to check on you first instead of some stupid books.”

“Don’t beat yourself up. There is nothing you could have done and you would have probably just gotten yourself killed in the process.” She looked at me confused and I continued before she could unload more questions or curse herself further. “The attack on the palace was a set up. Ana and her family set it up, so that they could kill me without anyone knowing it was them.”

Saying it aloud to her made the pain of that night return full force, but I pushed back the tears and continued. “They tried to kill me and I killed Luka, but Ana got away and now she’s working for Baal.”

Her only answer was to drop her jaw in shock and grab me in her fiercest bear hug, which only resulted in crushing my wall and allowing my tears to spill freely.

“I didn’t mean to. I was only protecting myself.” My words were almost unintelligible through my snotty tears.

Robin pulled away and looked back toward the balcony. I spotted another figure, which walked slowly, hesitantly forward. Dmitry.

His once flawless face was now marred by three thick scars that traced from the side of his skull down his neck. Being a vampire they should have healed, but something told me that wounds from The Dark don’t heal very easily whether physical or emotional. I almost didn’t recognize him, but his broken smile still carried a fractured piece of the vampire he once was.

For a moment I stared in complete shock. Did he hear my tearful confession to Robin? Would he lash out at me at any moment? Would he tell me I was a liar?

Then, without even thinking, my body acted on its own and took the last few steps between us and fell into his arms. I hugged him as tight as I could, like I was worried he would disappear. I hadn’t realized how much I missed him until this very moment.

“What happened to you?” I looked up at his pained face and traced my fingers along his fresh scars.

“I got a haircut.” He gave a fake smile and ran his hand across his shaved head. His once beautifully disheveled hair was gone. No longer did he look like the playful, curious Dmitry I remembered. He was a whole new vampire and like Robin, I could tell, he was forever changed by the events that had happened. Just as I was.

We stared at each other somewhat awkwardly, neither of us knowing what to say. I could sense Arrick’s anguish as he watched our embrace, so I gave Dmitry once last squeeze and let him go. Sadly, some part of me felt like that might be the last hug I would ever give him.

We all sat down and I told them everything. From the moment I arrived at Naos to the instant I jumped into the portal after Ana and accepted death as I lay dying under the large tree. They each sat silently, listening as I told my story.

“So, you can control dark stones?” Dmitry asked, his curious nature slightly returning.

“It looks like it.” I had pulled them out from under my shirt and displayed them in my palm.

“I have read very little about these. No one seems to know anything about them. Only myths and legends,” Robin said curiously. “Nobody ever lived to…” She stopped herself. Her eyebrows arced up in shock.

“Say it,” I commanded. “We can’t figure any of this out if we are too afraid to even talk about it.”

She swallowed hard and continued. “No one has ever lived to talk about it. At least not that I know of.” Dmitry nodded as she spoke.

I stuffed the stones back under my shirt. I could feel how uncomfortable they were making everyone feel and I wasn’t sure I wanted to see any of them looking at me the way Bennett had. Like I was some sort of monster. Like I would somehow turn into a member of The Dark.

Robin and I sat close to each other on my old antique couch. The fabric no longer glistened with the rich threaded designs and the wood no longer gleamed from fresh polish. It was dusty, its edges marred and darkened, but it was still sturdy. Still strong enough to hold our weight. I found myself thinking that I felt very much the same way. I was beaten and broken. I might look frail, but I could still hold my ground if I needed to.

“What does he want with you?” Arrick asked.

“I don’t know, but he seems to know something I don’t.” I hated the idea that another secret was being kept from me. Story of my life. Was everything I knew a lie?

Arrick feeling my frustration tried to sooth me. “That doesn’t mean anyone is keeping anything from you. He’s an evil bastard and I have no doubt that he has spies everywhere.”

Dmitry nodded in agreement. “Like Ana.”

His words seemed to make the air in the room thicker and I found myself immediately directing my eyes to the floor not wanting to talk about it. I had enough problems on my hands that I didn’t need to add her back to the mix. I wasn’t even sure she was Ana anymore.

“He’s right,” Arrick said.

“Mhm,” Robin agreed.

“You guys didn’t see her. I don’t know what Baal did to her, but she’s not Ana anymore. She didn’t even recognize me. I know I should hate her and want her dead. Part of me still does, but something is just off.”

Arrick began to pace back and forth across the room and Dmitry crouched at the fireplace, poking at the small embers, encouraging them to grow.

“Where is everyone else?” I didn’t really direct the question toward anyone, hoping that someone would answer. Dmitry immediately averted his eyes when I looked at him and Robin’s body tensed. “I need to know.”

Robin looked at me like she was going to speak, but tears filled her eyes, clinging precariously on the edge of her lashes. I had never seen my dear friend look so defeated and scared.

Her answer was no more than a whisper. “They are all gone.”

My jaw dropped in shock. I couldn’t believe it. “Everyone?” I looked to Dmitry for an answer as Robin fell into my shoulder in sobs.

He stood, his eyes shifting across the room like an answer was hidden somewhere for him. As he turned, the growing fire danced across his new features. I felt like I had lost the Dmitry I once knew - and in a way I had. This vampire who stood with sorrow in his eyes before me, looked like a stranger. I had so many things I wanted to talk to him about, but it didn’t feel right. Would this Dmitry forgive me for fleeing the Palace without a word? Would he forgive me for killing his brother? I was just defending myself; he had to have known that.

Dmitry cleared his throat, kicking me out of my thoughts. “We haven’t found them all.” A question mark formed in my expression and he exhaled heavily. “The bodies.”

“Oh.” Robin’s body stiffened and I squeezed her against me. “Well, that doesn’t mean they can’t still be alive.”

“Claire…” I could see in Dmitry’s eyes that he wanted to protest, but he didn’t have it in him, so he sat heavily on the ground and stared into the orange flames.

“I survived, didn’t I? I doubt Nicolae, and Evilyn would go down without a fight - and definitely not Fox! If they didn’t make it -” I hated the thought, “then there would be piles of Dark vampires lying in their wake.” My words convinced even myself and steadied my breathing. I had to believe there was hope. If I, or we, gave up even a little we would lose before the true battle even started.

“You think so?” Robin asked. There was a hesitant rise of hope in her voice. I nodded in response. “We haven’t found my parents. Do you think they made it?”

“I do.” I wanted to believe that as much as she did. Until we found proof otherwise, we had to believe they were still alive. All of them.

“Baal was definitely after me. He could have taken people in to question my whereabouts when he couldn’t find me here.” I hated to admit that I was the reason for another catastrophe. “He seemed to know something…” I said again remembering the glint in his eyes and I shuddered.

“They attacked on the same night,” Arrick blurted matter-of-factly, and we all looked to him in confusion. He had said so little since I had told my story I was beginning to worry about what was going on in his head.

“Yeah, so?” Robin’s voice croaked from my shoulder.

“I don’t know what it means. I just realized it.”

“Do you think we were the only two places that were attacked?” I regretted asking the question as soon as it left my lips. It was a terrifying thought and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer, but my friends’ faces mirrored by fears.

“How could they be in so many places at once?” Robin sat up wiping her eyes. I was glad to see that she wasn’t crying anymore, but our conversation wasn’t headed in a direction that would make any of us feel any better.

“I think there are a lot more of them then we think there are,” Dmitry announced without emotion. I knew in my gut that he was probably right.

“It’s not just that.” I swallowed hard. “But they can do things that we can’t. They can get places a lot quicker then we can. I don’t know how those portal things work, but they are obviously a method of transportation.”