Independent Women - the Complete BWWM Romance Series Boxset (4 page)

Tamika finally began, “I’m having problems in my marriage. I don’t know what happened and I’ve been trying to be patient, but things don’t seem to be getting better.”

“What kind of problems?”

“I don’t even know where to start,” Tamika blurted out. “It’s been going on for over a year. He’s been so different. I love him, but the spark isn’t there anymore.”

“Sexually?”

“Right.”

“Are you no longer attracted to him?” Kalena asked.

“Yes, I’m still attracted to him. He’s the one that doesn’t want me,” Tamika admitted in embarrassment.

She couldn’t believe that she was saying those words out loud. She never thought in a million years that her husband would not want her. They were the couple who couldn’t keep their hands off each other. The only reason she hadn’t gotten pregnant was because of her IUD. Sex was the one area of their relationship that was always on fire and she loved it.

“Wow, I don’t even know what to say about that. But you know, they say that sometimes men act like that when there is a problem at work.”

“I don’t know. From what I know, things are going good with him at work. But you may be right. He never wants to talk about work and he even seems upset about his accomplishments. I partially understand why he’s acting like this. His current career isn’t his first choice. He always saw himself living his life on the field.”

“Exactly. I know it sucks, but his new reality may be hitting him like a ton of bricks. He never truly mourned the life that he thought he would have.”

“Ugh, I just feel like he’s hiding something from me. I don’t know this person Kalena. I’m afraid that my marriage is falling apart before it has truly begun. I thought that things would only get better when we got married, but I was wrong.”

Kalena sighed deeply. She wasn’t quite sure what to say because marriage was beyond her knowledge. She’d heard more than enough rhetoric about marriage as she grew up in the church and she’d seen her own parent’s marriage. Sometimes she wondered if she wanted to get married at all. Men always seemed to act crazy once those papers were signed.

However, she wasn’t going to allow her mildly jaded view cause her to give her friend bad advice. Ultimately, she wanted her friend to be happy and she knew that getting a divorce would destroy Tamika. Also, Reggie seemed like a pretty nice guy, overall,  and she hoped that the two of them could work things out. Reggie needed to get it together and treat her friend better.

“I don’t know what to say, Tamika. I’m really sorry that this is happening to you and I wish that you would have told me sooner. I can’t believe that you were going through this all alone. You know better. I’m here for you always even if it isn’t pretty. You don’t have to pretend with me.”

“I know, it was just embarrassing and I was hoping that things would be better. I promise to share more in the future, now get off of my case.”

Kalena smiled, “Okay, I’m backing off. I just want you to be happy and I want you to know that I’m here for you. You didn’t ask me for my advice, but I think that you should talk to him and see what’s going on.”

“I tried.”

“Try again and try harder. This is your marriage and your life, it’s worth another shot. Shit, it’s worth a dozen shots. You don’t have anything to lose by trying.”

Tamika took another sip of her drink and let Kalena’s words sink in. She decided that Kalena was right. She had to try to talk to him again.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I invited Crystal,” Kalena said.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep. Today is the day that we tell her about her boyfriend.”

“I’m really not in the mood for this but today is just as good as any other day. Didn’t think that we would be doing this today, but let’s get this shit over with.”

“My thoughts exactly. I really wanted to push through this so that we all could move on. We didn’t need this shit hanging over our heads forever and the sooner she knows the better.”

Tamika groaned slightly, “It was my idea to tell her and now I’m more nervous than you. This is sad.”

Kalena laughed, “It’s not sad. You just have a lot going on right now.”

Tamika wondered if she had time to tell Kalena about Jin or if she should tell her about Jin at all. Maybe her friend could snap her back into reality so that she wasn’t lusting after a man who  wasn’t hers anymore. Maybe she would laugh at her for wanting an Asian man, and call her “truly desperate”. That was probably what she needed, a good old fashioned shaming. Before she could truly decide, Crystal made her way into the bar.

“Hey, divas!”

Tamika and Kalena got on their feet to greet their friend. Then they sat down.

“Y'all didn’t order me one?” Crystal asked. “You ladies know that I’m down with the Porn Star Martini.”

“Sorry girl, didn’t know what time you were coming and I didn’t want your drink to get warm,” Kalena said.

“I guess I forgive you this time,” Crystal said,
before she motioned for the waitress and ordered all of them another round of drinks. “I need this drink; work has been driving me insane. I swear sometimes I wonder why I do this at all.”

“Probably because you love kids.”

“Shhh, don’t tell anybody.”

“Your secret is safe with us, even though the world knows at this point.”

Crystal was a director of a non-profit organization that catered to kids in under-served neighborhoods. She worked long days and that’s why she did her best to play hard when she had the time. She didn’t have any children of her own, but she’d dedicated her life to their well-being. She was a really sweet person on the inside, with a wild streak. She had a caramel skin tone, beautiful dimples, and a smile that warmed the hearts of men, women and children. Her curvaceous body spent most of the time being hidden by suits, so when  she was able to show it off, she went all out.

“I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to go insane. There is so much red tape to go through. They make it hard to do simple stuff for kids. Unfortunately, people have abused the system so much that you have to do a ton of paperwork.”

“But you’re getting it done,” Tamika said.

“Yes, I’m getting it done. The only thing that gets me through my week sometimes is seeing my boo.”

Kalena and Tamika looked at each other and Crystal caught it.

“Before the two of you say anything, I’m going to need my drink first.”

As if on cue the waitress brought them the next round. Crystal took three huge gulps of her Porn Star Martini and sighed deeply. “Okay bring on the bad news.”

“I’m sorry, girl,” Tamika said.

“We’re not trying to start anything,” Kalena said, “And we’re happy that you’re happy.”

Crystal rolled her eyes, “Just say it. I know that the two of you only have my best interest at heart, but I’m going to flip this table over if one of you don’t say it.”

“Well OK,” Tamika said sharply.

“Don’t make me turn Hulk on your ass,” Crystal said.

“Okay,” Kalena started, “We love that you’re happy, but we wouldn’t be friends if we didn’t tell you what was going on.”

“He’s the same guy that was all in our face a few weeks ago at the club,” Tamika said.

“Yeah, and he wasn’t just trying to get with us. He was making his way around the bar and it seemed like he was willing to go home with whoever was interested.”

Crystal rolled her eyes, “Flirting doesn’t mean that he’s cheating. You all know how flirtatious I can be and if people reported back to him every time, he would probably have a fit. I think that the two of you are really overreacting. Thanks for the info though.” There was a slight edginess to her voice that told her friends to back off. Crystal didn’t want to believe what her friends were telling her.

They all sat in an awkward silence until Crystal said something, “Sorry, I know that you all are probably right but I really like him. Are you sure that he was acting sleazy?”

“I don’t know,” Kalena said, “He just wasn’t acting like he had a girlfriend. If I knew that he was dating you at the time I probably would have snapped on him.”

“Yeah, if he was single then there wouldn’t have been a problem. But you couldn’t tell that he had a girlfriend with the way that he was acting,” Tamika added.

Crystal gave a huge sigh, “What should I do?”

“I have an idea,” Kalena said deviously. “Get him to charge his phone from your laptop and you can copy and paste all of the files from his Whatsapp and iMessage, you can even get his pics.”

“Oh my God, Kalena!” Tamika said in half disgust and half awe, “Where in the hell did you get this information from?”

Kalena shrugged, “One of my co-workers did it to his girlfriend.”

“Really? What kind of dude does something like that?” Tamika asked.

“Yeah, that’s a real Mitch move,” Crystal said.

“What in the hell is a Mitch?” Kalena asked.

“It’s a male bitch. Some of the kids that I work with say it. I had to get them to stop, but it was hilarious. Apparently they learned it from the Real House Husbands of Hollywood with Kevin Hart.”

Kalena covered her ears, “I don’t need to hear anything about another TV show. I’m already addicted to more than enough shows. Don’t add anymore to my list. But Crystal, all you have to do is pretend that your charger is broke but let him use the USB cord to charge his phone the next time he comes over.”

“That’s a huge invasion of privacy. If you have to do all of that to find out if the man is douche-bag, then maybe you just need to let him go,” Tamika said.

“Oh hush,” Crystal said, “You already have your dream man. I need to find out if this one is mine. I really like him and I have to find out if he’s legit before I make a decision. I’m not a huge fan of this idea, but it’s the only one that allows me to know for sure. If I ask him he’s probably going to lie about it. This way I can know for myself if I’m being played or not.”

Tamika shook her head but kept quiet. She wanted to try to convince her not to do it, but she wasn’t in the best position to give advice. Hell, she probably needed to try it with her husband.

#Chapter5

“It’s what I’ve wanted for a while now. So are you going to give it to me or what?”

Tamika

Kalena sat in the coffee shop for her lunch break. That horrible sense of anxiety had settled in her stomach. It wasn’t that she had anything to truly be worried about; it was just a constant presence in her life. She hated the feeling and the only thing that really helped was exercise, alcohol, and sex. She wasn’t getting laid, so exercise and alcohol were her escapes. She was long overdue for a vacation and she couldn’t wait until she was able to get one.

Kalena enjoyed her turkey sandwich on rye bread and tried to ignore how dry it was. People always pretended to like coffeehouse sandwiches when they were just glorified choke sandwiches. She drank her chai tea and people-watched.  Everyone always looked like they were in a hurry. She found herself wondering about each person’s struggles and story. Everyone had their own universe that they were operating in and you never knew about it until they opened up to you. That’s one of the reasons that she loved working on ads. She first had to research what part of people she wanted to appeal to and then work a campaign around it. It was pure psychology at the end of the day even if it was a bit manipulative.

“Excuse me, but is this seat taken?” A man asked.

“Oh no,” Kalena said as she moved her purse. “Sorry about that.  I just tend to spread out wherever I go.”

“It’s alright,” he said with a huge grin.

Kalena looked at him and was impressed. He was a cute white boy with a little swag. She liked the way that he dressed. It was urban without trying too hard, she could tell that it was really just a part of who he was.

“I think I have the best seat in the house,” he said casually as he placed his food on the counter.

“Why is that?”

“Because I’m sitting next to you, of course.”

Kalena playfully rolled her eyes and blushed at the same time, “Oh, I bet you say that to all of the girls.”

“Only the ones that I like.”

“So you like me now? I find that hard to believe seeing as though we just met one minute ago.”

“Well, I like what I see, and I’m hoping to get to know more.”

“I don’t know about all that?”

“Why? It’s because I’m white, isn’t it?”

“So now you’re pulling the race card?”

He grinned and flashed his beautiful smile with a slight overbite, “It depends. Is it working?”

“Well I do have a newly implemented affirmative action plan for white boys.”

“Yes!” he said, enthusiastically.

“Wow, you’re silly.”

“I can be and admit it, you kind of like it, right?”

“What’s your name?”

“It’s Joseph.”

“I’m Kalena, it’s nice to meet you.”

He extended his hand and they shook hands. He gave her a nice firm handshake and she was impressed. Most men gave women weak handshakes and it annoyed her.

“So, what are you doing here, Kalena?”

“I work in the area so I’m just having lunch. I’m a little mad that I only have about 15 minutes left. I could use another hour.”

“Aww man, you’re getting ready to leave me already? But you just came into my life,” he said dramatically.

“You can’t miss what you’ve never had.”

“Well, give me a chance to figure out what I’d be missing if you ever decided to leave me.”

“Really? That was pretty corny.”

“Sorry, I let my white boy out, huh?”

“No, that was just corny. I don’t think it had anything to do with your race.”

“Ouch.”

Kalena laughed. She really liked it when a man could take a joke. She was super sarcastic and everyone didn’t get her humor or teasing but he seemed to be taking it in stride. He’d won a few cool points in her book. There is nothing worse than having to censor yourself when dating someone. It’s all going to come out in the end anyway so hiding it just seems ridiculous.

“So can I have your number, Kalena? I would love to talk to you outside of here.”

“I guess.”

Kalena gave him her phone number and he locked it into his phone. He then called her so that she would have his number too.

“Well it’s time for me to get going. It was nice to meet you, Joseph.”

“You too, I’ll give you a call later.”

“So you don’t have the 3-day rule? You’re actually going to call me today?”

“Just for you I’m putting my 3-day rule on hold.”

“I feel so special.”

“You should.”

Kalena laughed, grabbed her belongings and headed back to work with a little extra pep in her step. She actually liked him and she looked forward to speaking with him again. See, Nina wasn’t the only one who could snag a cute white boy. She laughed out loud to herself and shook her head. If her dad could only see her now, he would probably have a heart attack. Her dad wasn’t racist, but he didn’t want her to ever bring home a white boy. Well, okay maybe her dad was a little bit racist…or a lot.

*

Later that day, Kalena was sitting at home, watching more of The Good Wife while drinking a glass of wine and looking over some ad ideas. She was enjoying her peace and quiet before her phone rang. She played around with the idea of ignoring it but answered it anyway. She looked at the phone and saw that it was Joseph.

Kalena quickly picked up the phone, “Hello?”

“Hey, Kalena?”

“Well if it isn’t Joseph. How are you, sir?”

“I’m doing better now that I’m talking to you.”

Kalena smiled and shook her head. She didn’t know why she liked his tired ass lines, but she did.

They were cute and so was he, so he got a pass.

“Good to know,” she grinned.

“I’m really glad that I met you today and I hope that we can keep our little thing going.”

“You really know how to jump the gun. We have a thing?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“That’s good to know too.”

“So how about we meet on Saturday?”

“Saturday isn’t really good for me. I have plans during the evening with my friends.”

“That’s cool because I’m busy on Saturday evening too. Let’s do lunch.”

“What? I get a day time date?”

He laughed, “Of course you do.”

“And what else do I get?”

“Whatever you want, sweetie, whatever you want.”

*

Tamika rested her head on her desk for a few moments. She felt like the day was never going to end. She’d been there since 6 a.m. and it was currently 7 p.m. She wanted to go home and get some rest, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen. She still had two  more interviews to do before the day was over. That’s the problem when you’re headhunting executives with full time employment already. You have to wait until they’re off the clock and that means working ridiculous hours.

“You holding up okay?” Jin asked as he stood in the door with bags of food.

“Oh my God,” I think I am now, “What are you carrying?” Tamika asked as she inhaled deeply.

The spicy aroma of the food wafted to her nose and her stomach grumbled in anticipation.

“I got Indian food. Lamb curry and rice. There is enough for the both of us, want some?”

“Oh yes,” she said in a tone that was a little too sultry.

Jin did his best to ignore it and walked towards her desk. He took a seat and pulled out  the food. Tamika hungrily bit her bottom lip and watched him unpack it all. He was hard not to like. She couldn’t remember the last time Reggie brought her food. She did all of the cooking and she did all of the ordering too. Reggie didn’t want to have to do anything and she usually didn’t mind but that was when he was taking care of her in other ways.

She tried to have an open conversation with him, but he ignored her and watched television. He then slept on the couch instead of going to bed with her. She felt lonely and a bit empty. Her lack of a good marriage was doing weird things to her feelings and her libido. She didn’t know what it felt like to need sex so badly that she had to resort to toys. She and Reggie never needed them because they were more than enough for each other. Now she had an entire drawer of toys. The bullet and the rabbit were her other two best friends.

“You going to eat?” Jin asked.

“Oh, of course.” Tamika grabbed a plate and loaded it up. “Thank you so much for dinner. I don’t know what I would have done without it. I probably would have resorted to eating all of the peppermints in my candy dish.”

He laughed, “Now the peppermints can live another day. Next time just let me know that you’re hungry and I can order us something. You put in a lot of hours and we can’t have you here starving.”

She smiled appreciatively before she took a bite of the lamb. The flavor exploded in her mouth and she had to suppress a moan. She wasn’t good for conversation in the moment because she couldn’t look up from her plate. The sweet and spicy taste had her in its grasp. She loved Indian food because of how unapologetic it was. It was always savory and delicious. She’d never had any that was under-seasoned.

She finally looked up from her plate and saw that Jin was staring at her. “What?”

“Nothing, I think I just like watching you eat.”

Tamika’s eyes widened in surprise. She was taken aback by his response and she wasn’t sure what to say.”

“I’m sorry, that was totally inappropriate.”

“N-no it’s okay. Why do you like watching me eat? Do I belong in the circus or something?”

He laughed, “No, you just enjoy food. Whenever you eat, you just always look like you enjoy it. You taste everything and enjoy the flavor instead of just eating.”

“You may have a point. I do have a special love affair with food, it’s sad, really.” 

“It’s not sad, it’s the way that it’s supposed to be.”

“Oh it’s sad. It’s so sad that I have to spend at least an hour on my treadmill a day. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to fit in this office.”

“Oh please, you’re perfect and you would still be perfect even if you gained weight.”

Tamika blushed. “Thanks, that means a lot coming from you.”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t know. I just really respect your opinion so when you have good things to say about me, it feels good.”

“I don’t just say it to make you feel good; I say it because it’s truly what I believe. Although I have to admit that I’m happy that it makes you happy.”

Tamika beamed at him, and she didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t sure if she was soaking up all of his attention because of what she wasn’t getting at home or if it was because she genuinely liked him. She began to believe that it was a horrible combination of both factors. She knew that she should bring it back to business, but she was enjoying his company entirely too much to end it there. She deserved to flirt a little and to have a little fun, even if she shouldn’t do it. A woman deserved to feel good every now and then and if she was married, then it was her husband’s job. But if he wasn’t doing his job, then what?