Incubus (81 page)

the house took on the squiggly lines and symbols we’d seen covering the vase in the photograph.

Lucas, walking by the wall, stopped to study it. As he did, the symbols on the wall clarified, changing

slightly from what I remembered. Lucas’s unconscious mind had taken the hint.

I had to trust that this would work. If it didn’t, I’d have wasted one of the very few nights we had

left before the full moon. I closed my hand around the dream, and slipped into Lucas’s unconscious

mind. Instead of steering his sleeping thoughts to lucidity, I let his dream place me, like a prop, where

it willed.

I found myself standing beside Lucas, holding his hand, studying the strange wall. Lucas glanced

at me, as though I had been there the whole time.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I know this somehow.”

I wanted to speak, to ask him how he knew it, but his dream was in control, and so instead I said,

“Let’s go back, Lucas. I’m frightened.”

“This—I think this is important,” Lucas said. He touched the wall, and it fell away, revealing a set

of stairs leading down.

My interest piqued, I wanted to peer into the blackness below. But dream-me hesitated, needing

Lucas to lead her forward.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m here with you.”

Dream-me squeezed his hand harder and followed him down into the darkness. When we reached

the bottom of the stairs, Lucas flipped a switch. We were standing in the Guard’s armory.

Dream-me looked confused. “What are we doing here?” she asked, finally echoing my actual

thoughts.

“Wait here,” he said. And I was forced to hover by the stairs anxiously while Lucas walked to the

back of the armory. He did something to one of the support posts, and I realized it wasn’t actually

supporting anything. It swung up, revealing a small hole under the floor. “I need your help,” Lucas

called.

Dream-me walked tentatively over to join him, even though I would have run if I were in control.

There, in the hole, was a small brass box covered with the same curving designs that we’d seen in the

photograph of the vessel.

“Should you be showing that to me?” Dream-me asked. I could have screamed. Lucas looked

stricken. He released the post and it swung back, covering the hole and hiding the box from sight.

Something changed in Lucas’s eyes. “Braedyn?”

The dream world rocked, and I found I was able to move my own body.
Oh no. He’s becoming

lucid.

“Lucas,” I said. “It’s okay. Let’s go upstairs.”

But Lucas looked around, saw where we were standing... remembered. “No. No,” he breathed.

“What—what did you do?”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“I promised,” he said. “I promised not to show you. You can’t go after it, Braedyn. Please, tell me

you’ll forget about this.”

I turned away from him, struggling for the calm I’d need to visualize Karayan’s memory flower.

Lucas grabbed my arm, turning me to face him. Panic swept across his face. “Murphy... he begged

me to keep you safe. I can’t believe I—” His eyes seemed to clear. “You invaded my dream—tricked

me. You made me
betray the Guard.
”

The earth rocked under my feet, but Lucas didn’t seem to notice.

“Braedyn?” Lucas’s grip tightened on my arm. He searched my expression with urgent need.

“I had to,” I whispered.

Lucas released me. A roiling fury chased the devastation out of his eyes. “No. No. Promise me you

won’t go after it.”

“Lucas—”

“Promise me! I need to hear you say it.” When I couldn’t answer, Lucas stepped back away from

me, his face contorting with agony. “I can’t believe this is happening. How could I have been so

stupid?!”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It is my fault! I’m the one who—” Lucas turned aside, running a hand through his hair. “Okay,

no. We’ll move it. I’ll just tell them and they’ll move it, somewhere safe. Somewhere I won’t know to

look for it.”

Even in the dream, I felt hot tears stinging my eyes. Lucas read my expression and stopped pacing.

“What—why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.

“I’m sorry, Lucas. But you won’t remember any of this.”

“What does that mean? Braedyn?”

Instead of answering, I squeezed my eyes shut and visualized the same flower Karayan had used.

The terrible metaphor. I felt something twist in the dream and opened my eyes. The flower bloomed in

the cement at my feet, one perfect pink flower. And then it spread, shooting across the basement floor

like wildfire, fueled by Lucas’s lucid mind. I grabbed the first flower and pulled.

Lucas doubled over, gripping his head. A terrible scream tore itself out of his throat.

I almost released the flower. But the blooms were already spreading up the stairs. “I’m sorry,” I

said.

Lucas shook his head, as if his thoughts were suddenly fuzzy. But then his eyes snapped to my

face, and I saw realization there. “No.
Don’t.
Braedyn, please.
Don’t do this to me.
”

I had to work fast. I started pulling. It didn’t take as much effort as I’d thought it would. But the

roots were deep, and they seemed to spread almost as fast as I could pull them out.

Lucas stumbled to his knees, clutching his head so hard his knuckles went white. “Stop,” he

panted. “If you love me, please stop. I’m begging you—”

“I can’t, Lucas,” I said, fighting the urge to give in to him. “I’m doing this for us.”

Tangled ropes of roots looped along the cement at my feet, but I was gaining ground against the

memory. It had stopped spreading up the stairs. Flowers yanked up out of the cement floor one after

another, leaving a scarred mass of dirt and rubble in their wake. It was as though I were pulling the

string out of a sweater, creating a bigger and bigger hole.

Lucas had grown quiet. He was watching me with a numb, questioning look.

When I had pulled the last thready root out of the ground, I stopped. Lucas looked up at me, eyes

misted over. I’d done it.

Nausea swept through me.

I turned, pushing through the wall of his dream, desperate to escape.

Karayan was waiting in my dream garden.

“So?” She asked. “How did it—?”

“
Why didn’t you tell me it would be like that?!
” I screamed. Something inside me broke, and I fell

to the ground, wanting to retch, unable to expel anything from this dream body.

Karayan stood over me, silent for a long moment. When I’d stopped heaving, she spoke. “What did

you expect?” Her voice was low, strained. “You took something precious from someone who didn’t

want to give it to you. Of course it was going to be painful.”

I looked up, and found Karayan staring down at me, eyes dark and unreadable.

“
Get out.
”

“Braedyn,” Karayan said, pity welling in her eyes. She reached a hand out, placed it on my back.

“I’m sure whatever reason you—”

I found the tiny pinprick break in my dream’s shield and closed it. Karayan winked out.

I was alone again. But the silence did not bring me peace. And then I looked up, and a fresh wave

of terror rolled through me.

My roses. The last bit of white was gone from them—replaced by a thin line of black that edged

the top of each crimson petal. I lurched to my feet, horrified. Petal after petal... each and every one of

them now carried the taint of my betrayal.

Chapter 14

I lurched awake in my bed, covered with a cold sheen of sweat. Nausea swelled inside me—and this

time, my body responded. I stumbled out of my room, barely making it to the bathroom in time. My

stomach heaved over and over, as though it could expel this new taint by sheer effort of will.

After half an hour, I leaned back against the wall, wrung out in every way possible. The cold tile

felt soothing against my bare legs, even though goose pimples crawled up the skin of my arms. I sat in

the dark bathroom, each detail as clear to me as it would have been in broad daylight. A Lilitu’s night

vision. Deep, hopeless rage boiled inside me.
I was a demon. Why had I ever let myself believe I’d be

capable of winning my redemption?
I closed my eyes as another thought stabbed through me.
Why

hadn’t I taken Sansenoy up on his offer the first time around?
I’d had the chance to become human. It

was pure arrogance to turn it down, to believe that I’d be able to hang onto my humanity long enough

to make a difference in this war.

I stayed on the bathroom floor until I heard Dad stirring in his room down the hall. It took more

effort than I expected to pull myself to my feet. I swooned, catching myself on the sink before I fell. I

was weak. Of course. I’d used my Lilitu powers on Lucas, and I’d done nothing to replenish the energy

I’d spent. I was depleted. I looked up into my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I didn’t need to turn

on a light to see the deep circles under my eyes. I pulled open a drawer of the vanity, looking for the

compact I’d bought with Cassie last summer. The one that matched my pale skin. I straightened in

front of the mirror and began the work of hiding my exhaustion.

20 minutes later, dressed for school, I headed downstairs. Dad and Seth were sitting at the kitchen

island, eating breakfast. Coffee brewed on the counter, filling the kitchen with a friendly aroma. The

warm scent used to comfort me, but it didn’t do anything to ease the pain in my chest today.

“How about some toast?” Dad asked. “Gretchen brought over this new jam she discovered. It’s—”

he picked up the jar and read the label. “Blueberry jalapeno preserves.”

Seth grinned. “I know. It sounds disgusting. But it’s kind of awesome.”

“No, thanks,” I said. “Not really hungry.”

Dad stood, swiping a newspaper off the kitchen counter. “Suit yourself, kiddo. I’ve got to check in

at the office.”

“The office? Really?” I looked up with surprise. Dad used to run a security firm in town, but he’d

let most of his contracts go since the day he’d told me I was a Lilitu. I guess I knew he still kept a

business office, but I hadn’t seen him visit it in months.

“For the Guardsmen,” he said by way of explanation. “Town’s small enough that someone’s bound

to notice a flood of new residents who don’t seem to have jobs and spend their days wandering the

streets. This will give them a uniform and a cover story. Private security, keeping the community

safe.”

“Right,” I said.

Dad leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. “Take it easy today, honey. You look tired.” With

that, he left, grabbing his keys from the counter on his way out. A few moments later, we heard the

front door open and close.

Seth glanced at me, eyes eagerly scanning my face. “So? Did you find out where they’re keeping

it?”

“Um—” The memory of last night rose in my thoughts so powerfully it blinded me for a moment.

I took a shaking breath.

“Braedyn?” Seth watched me, his brows knitting together with concern.

“I have to—I’ll be back,” I mumbled. I pushed past Seth and raced for the front door, yanking it

open. The morning chill was shocking. I stepped onto the porch and slammed the door shut behind me

with more force than I’d intended.

I hurried across the yard, slipping through the gate that separated our property from the Guard’s.

The front door was locked. Surprised, I knocked.

I heard the bolt unlatch. A strange man opened the door. He had close cropped hair and wore jeans

and a black T-shirt that stretched across his broad chest. He gave me a curious look, tossing a towel

over his shoulder nonchalantly.

“You need something?”

“Is—is Lucas here?” I asked.

“Oh, right—you must be Braedyn.” The stranger grinned, then turned to shout over his shoulder.

“Hey, kid! Your girlfriend’s here.” He opened the door wider to let me in. “He’s in the kitchen.”

I entered the foyer, then stopped. I almost turned and fled. The living room was teeming with guys

I’d never seen before. The furniture had been pushed up against the walls, and a series of cots spread

out over the floor. But the most jarring change was the atmosphere in the house. Instead of the calm

focus I was used to, there was a sort of raucous camaraderie between the men that made
me
feel like

the stranger.

“I know. They showed up last night.” Lucas joined me in the foyer, frowning at the newcomers.

As we stood there, a pair of guys walked into the foyer. “Have fun at school, kids,” one said,

reaching a hand out to ruffle Lucas’s hair.

“Don’t.” Lucas recoiled, furious. A few other guys laughed good-naturedly from the living room.

Lucas’s cheeks reddened.

“Easy, little man,” the stranger said. “You should enjoy it. I wish I could go back to the care-free

days of high school.”

“Damn straight.” The other guy clapped a hand on Lucas’s shoulder. “Hold onto your innocence as

long as you can. There’ll be plenty of time for the big fight later.” The men walked off into the

kitchen.

Lucas fumed, reaching a hand up to smooth down his hair.

“Yikes,” I breathed.

“Yeah. Turns out, I like Guardsmen a whole lot better when there are only a few of them around,”

Lucas muttered. He took a deep breath, then turned his attention to me. “So, what’s up? Are we