Inconvenient Relations (16 page)

She laughed softly. “Shaan, I’m not the same girl you married, someone who’d wait patiently to hear a few words of praise and love from her husband. I’m not your typical girl next door. I’m the real Ruhi. I’m my own person, a girl who can stand on her own two feet and who doesn’t balk from expressing her feelings, her anger, and her insecurities. I will fight for my rights and go all out for the one I love. A girl like me doesn’t need a boatload of romance or sweet nothings, all she needs is some empathy and understanding.”

Then she turned and walked briskly away, her footsteps ringing sharp on the wet stone. She hugged her bare arms, shivering from the cold and the eerie silence night so often brought along with it.

“Aren’t you coming?” She threw back an apprehensive glance, hoping he hadn’t been overwhelmed by her disclosures. But she was telling the truth, and wasn’t honesty the best foundation for any relationship?

“Meri jaan!”

She felt his strong arms wrap around her waist as he hugged her from behind, making her shiver even harder despite the soothing warmth that spread quickly through her. He kissed the base of her neck, then whispered gruffly in her ear, “I’m proud of my Ruhi, proud to have you for my wife. I’m determined now more than ever to live up to your expectations, whatever they may be! But…don’t you ever crave to touch or be touched, to not speak but say a million things by just giving in for a moment and forgetting everything else except that you are my wife and I your husband?”

Ruhi sighed, closing her eyes reveling in this newfound closeness. “Yes, I want to, there’s nothing else I’ve wanted more ever since we’ve been together. The closeness we share is driving me mad. I don’t know how much longer I can hold out. I really don’t!”

She pivoted around, knowing he was shaken yet perhaps pleasantly so at her intimate revelation. She was too, yet doing so had left her feeling much lighter inside. “But there is one thing I want you to know, dear husband,” she said, flinging her arms around his neck locking her gaze with his while he waited impatiently with bated breath. “If your wife gives herself up to you, it’ll be forever. Therefore, she wants to be absolutely sure before she does, ‘cause then there’s no turning back.”

“Really?” he asked, desperately wanting to believe in her.

“Yes. I hope I can hold on to myself till then. Say you’ll wait for me!”

“I will without a doubt.”

She stood on her tiptoes and brushed his cheek with her lips. Then taking his hand in hers, she said, “Let’s go home,
mio caro
.”

Connections

Words unspoken,

love unshared,

hearts broken laid bare.

R
uhi entered Singh’s Convenience Store and was surprised to find quite a crowd gathered near the cash counter holding their purchases in their hands. They appeared upset, their collective voices increasing in volume with each passing minute when they found no attendant hurrying to do their bidding.

She saw some of them walk out without bothering to pay while others left after dumping their purchases angrily on the counter.

She hurried into the back of the store and found her employer engaged in what appeared to be a heated argument with someone on the phone, and by her tone it was quite clear the other person was either hard of hearing or a resident of a distant country.

I don’t quite understand why we think louder voices carry better across large bodies of water.

“Sanjana, there are people waiting up front.”

“Mom! Listening to your endless advice makes my head boil! Instead of telling me what to do, why don’t you get on the next plane and come here?” Sanjana glanced at Ruhi with an annoyed intensity on her face and the phone still glued to her ear. She held out something in her hand.

It turned out to be a key bearing the tag ‘cash register.’

Upon seeing Ruhi waver, she said, “Do you mind dealing with the customers for some time? I’ll be there soon.”

Ruhi nodded reluctantly, unsure if she could cope with the responsibility and headed back to the front with Sanjana’s voice trailing behind her, “If you hadn’t just married me off to the first person you found, I wouldn’t have been in this situation now! Mother, are you listening?”

It took her sometime, but Ruhi was able to get a handle on the situation. Profusely apologizing, she rang up all the merchandise, and fortunately, the customers didn’t appear to mind the wait. They were happy just to see a friendly face behind the counter. Though quite a few left disappointed upon not finding what they were looking for.

“Oh my god! What a mess!” she exclaimed at the overly crammed-up shelves. Nothing appeared to be in any semblance of order. Old and expired products shared space with new ones, cleaning supplies and food hung out together, while magazines and newspapers made for unappealing shelf liners.

After spending an unsuccessful half an hour trying to help a potential client find a bag of potato chips, she took upon herself to make an inventory of the store and bring some order to the chaos.

When Sanjana made her appearance, she found Ruhi balanced precariously on a stool reaching for some gaily colored energy drinks. “These should be displayed near the entrance to catch the eye of the runners and joggers, don’t you agree?”

“That was my mother,” Sanjana said, looking embarrassed while helping Ruhi move a small display shelf toward the front near the door.

“I gathered as much. Hope you don’t mind me taking the liberty to rearrange a few things?” Ruhi inquired, looking doubtfully at her, hoping she hadn’t jumped the gun.

“Of course not. I’ve been meaning to do this forever, and I’m glad that finally someone took the initiative. Thanks, Ruhi,” Sanjana replied, with a grateful smile then went on. “Families, especially mothers, can be trying sometimes.”

“I agree with you wholeheartedly. They take their roles way too seriously.” Ruhi nodded and her brows creased together. “My ma gets me to do things her way without my being even aware she is. I shouldn’t blame her though ’cause I think I’ll be just like her when I have kids of my own.”

Suddenly she felt her cheeks grow warm.
What are you saying, Ruhi? Kids? Does Shaan know?

No he doesn’t, he shouldn’t!
She snickered, clamping a hand on her mouth, while turning sharply away from Sanjana who was eyeing her curiously.

“Mrs. Singh! Surjit’s here!”

“Oh, that must be his special ed teacher. He is nice enough to drop him home every day,” Sanjana said, hurrying to the back of the store from where Ruhi could make out the homely sounds of scuffling shoes.

Shukr hai
, she didn’t probe but she may.
She doesn’t even know yet that I’m married
, Ruhi thought breathing a sigh of relief, with a hand placed over her speeding heart when she saw Sanjana return looking frazzled holding the little boy’s open backpack in one hand.

“What?
Aaj bhi
, even today the lunch box is full? Didn’t I give you what you asked for, grilled cheese sandwich? Surjit! Look at your mother when she’s talking to you!
Hey Bhagwan!
What will happen to this boy?” She wailed. “I try so hard to get through, but nothing seems to work.”

Surjit made a beeline to where Ruhi was setting up the energy drinks, ignoring his mother’s laments completely. She watched closely as the boy examined the colorful bottles with keen interest and then abruptly started to rearrange them in no specific order, or so it seemed.

“See!” After a couple of minutes, he pulled her by the hand and stood her in front of the display.

Ruhi stared at it not quite understanding what he was trying to convey when it struck her. “Oh my god, Sanjana!” she called out. “Look at what your son has done!”

“What, has he broken something?”

“No, see how he has arranged the bottles in the colors of the rainbow? Am I right, Surjit?”

Surjit looked blank for sometime then he repeated slowly, “Rainbow. Surjit. Rainbow.”

“Don’t you see? He
is
a smart boy. He had an idea that may not occur to a lot of people. He may have trouble speaking his mind but can certainly show it to you or try to.”

“So it seems. They did tell me that my boy was intelligent,” Sanjana replied with a pensive smile. “Surjit, can you tell me why you didn’t eat your lunch?” she asked, pointing to the plastic box.

He stuck his tongue out in disgust.

Sanjana burst out laughing. “Of course! What a fool I am. I too would hate to eat a cold cheese sandwich.
Yuck!”

She enveloped him to her chest. “Oh, my son, I’m so sorry! I’ve been so impatient. I don’t know what I’m running after most of the time. If only your dad would help.” Her gaze lowered to survey the ugly brown linoleum.

Ruhi prudently maintained her silence.

“What is the time? Half past three already and you haven’t had anything to eat, neither have you, Ruhi!” She grimaced, turning rueful eyes toward her. “Would you like some mac and cheese? Surjit loves it.”

Ruhi agreed, smiling.

The pasta was done in a few minutes, and Sanjana served it at the rickety kitchen table. She fondly watched her son as he tucked happily into his bowl then made up her mind to speak.

“My younger brother and I were both born in America. Our parents immigrated when my father secured a job as a professor at the local university where he taught Hindi as a foreign language. We had a reasonably comfortable middle-class life that included a midsize family sedan and a small three-bedroom house in the suburbs.” Sanjana paused as though weighed down by regret. Ruhi waited.

“But things changed when I turned eighteen. My dad received an urgent summons to go back home to give his dying father company. It was something he had to do even if it meant losing his job. But my brother and I refused to tag along because for both of us this country was our home. Then my mother had a brilliant idea.”

Her lips twisted into a crooked smile. “My father always took my mother’s counsel, and I used to think that was fantastic, but not this time. She advised him to marry me off to an Indian so my wild ways could be kept in check and my brother would get a mentor.

“Me and wild? Me, who wanted to become a mathematician…
wild?”
Her exclamation was punctuated with a short frantic laugh.

“Anyway, they married me off to the first man they could find who agreed I guess because he was getting a free green card. I said yes too though not very readily, but I wanted to stay here and was willing to do anything for it. They also left us this shop.”

“In the beginning, it wasn’t too bad. I was truly surprised I got along well with my ‘Indian’ husband. I think I had been blinded by cynicism earlier. He let me attend college, and we were happy.” There was a wistful smile on her face. “But it didn’t last long.”

“Everything fell apart after Surjit was born, well, not right away. I took some time off to spend with the baby. But then when we saw Surjit was not reaching the normal milestones, all hell broke loose. The abuse started, first verbal then physical, even in front of my son. I can still hear his screams.” She let out a piteous sob as she pulled her son onto her lap and clasped him protectively.

“You don’t have to say anymore if you don’t wish to.” Ruhi felt appalled.
This is worse than my own fate. Shaan has never abused me in any way. Yes, my life is in a mess but her’s…

“No, let me finish, now that I’ve started…” Sanjana paused to gather her thoughts.

“Prati saw it sometimes and coped by running away, disappearing for days on end. He never did get along well with Kamaljit, my husband. He dropped out of college. Don’t know why I kept quiet, perhaps because I hoped things might get better? I also didn’t protest when Kamal wanted to keep Surjit’s hair intact even though he himself never wore his long. It was supposed to appease his father’s dead soul!”

“Then he lost his job at the warehouse and started whiling his time away with his other unemployed friends and since then has been coming home drunk every night leaving me to take care of everything.”

Ruhi got up from her chair wanting to reach out to the young woman. “Why didn’t you tell your parents or the police?”

“My parents think it’s all untrue, that I’m making it all up, and as for the police…I think that time will come soon.” She looked seriously determined.

“Oh dear!” Ruhi came around to embrace her. “I’m shocked. How can a woman be expected to survive after what you’ve gone through? You are very strong, but please don’t keep it under wraps. Get help! I’m willing to assist you in any way I can.”

“Oh, you are such a darling. You listened to my sob story so patiently that I feel a lot better already. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Now that I have Surjit, I will survive,” Sanjana said, smiling bravely, squeezing her hand.

Ruhi’s pocket buzzed; it was Sunshine calling. She excused herself.

“Roohee my child! I hope you still remember our double date!” Sunshine said.

“Oh yes, of course, I do!” Ruhi said, biting her tongue; it had receded to the back her mind.

“Then do you mind dropping by soon? I have a few of my old dresses, which I imagine would look great on you! And I want to shop for some accessories, that is if you don’t mind helping me choose.”

“Of course not! I believe I’m almost done for the day.” She glanced sideways at Sanjana who nodded and let her off an hour early.

“You have done more than your fair share today. I know this is small compensation, but I hope it is a decent start,” she said placing a few dollar notes in her palm.

Ruhi looked at them in awe, her first income in this foreign land. And she knew exactly how to spend it.

***

Venus, the Roman goddess of love and beauty, the second rock from the sun, and after the moon the brightest object in the night sky. How romantic!

The planet hides beneath dense clouds of sulfuric acid, like my wife who happens to be just as toxic yet exceedingly enamoring
, Shaan thought and sighed as he perused again the background data on the destination they were aiming for, information he knew and could quote from memory word for word, but which for the first time he was appraising in a different light. He was trying to compare and contrast the virtues of the celestial object with those of his wife and so far had found only comparisons, no contrasts.

The only one he could come up with was that she unlike the planet was the brightest object in his personal sky. Beautiful, mysterious yet full of life infusing him with hope and energy, presenting him with a reason to live. Yes, he wanted to live now; he wanted to thrive. He could envision a family in the future with his wife and perhaps a couple of darling kids in tow, together taking on all the challenges life had to offer.

He smiled.
For a while she had me on my toes guessing, but now I’m pretty sure my dreams will come true. It’s only a matter of time.

“God, why is she taking so long? We don’t want to keep the old folks waiting past their bed time.” He chuckled.

“Madam! If you don’t come to me, I will come to you,” he said, walking across the hallway and knocked.

“Come in!”

He peeked inside, cracking the door open.

“You can approach without fear, I won’t eat you!” He heard her bubbling laugh coming from the direction of the open bathroom. “How do I look? You think Mr. Lee or Chang will want to dance with me?”

He drew in an entranced breath, watching her twirl around in front of the brightly lit mirror like a sumptuous bird of paradise, looking as though she might suddenly take flight at any moment.

Unhurried, his gaze travelled up, not missing a single embellishment; her high-heeled tasseled leather boots, deep maroon skirt
hugging
a neat bottom before falling to her knees in a many pleated flair, peasant blouse a little too short giving glimpses of a flat midriff, whose ruffled sleeves and wide neckline showed off her lovely smooth skin. It finally came to rest on her luminous cheeks colored a delicious shade of pink and her huge black eyes, that were shining with excitement and seeking approval.