Inconsolable (7 page)

I hear a horn honking and thank God that that is one thing that doesn’t bring me to tears like a kid wanting to suckle his mother’s bosoms.  My phone goes off as I reach for the pack of cigarettes on the coffee table. 
I’m outside, put the bottle down.  Let’s go. 
Ha! One upped you Uncle Trey, it isn’t a bottle this time. I light the cigarette, take a drag before opening the door and grabbing my wallet off the counter. Here goes nothing.

Uncle Trey is sitting in his silver Ford F-150 and wearing his hat on his head backwards. I don’t even know why I call him uncle instead of just Trey because we could have been brothers instead of uncle
and nephew.  My father’s dad got some twenty year old girl pregnant when he was having an affair with Trey’s mom.  My dad was twenty when he got a brother.  They are actually pretty close and Trey is only eight years older than me.  He went off to Iraq about four years ago to become a soldier in the Army. 

“Smoking now, huh?” Trey raises his eyebrows at me and I just let out a cloud of smoke, dropping the bud of the cigarette on the concrete before opening the door and climbing in.

“Really matter if I am?”   

“Yep, because I took the same path.  You don’t want to be where I was Blake.  Hell, I don’t want that for you.”  He locks the doors and pulls away from the curb.  Leave it to my favorite uncle to try to tell me what I want and don’t want for my life.  The apple really must not fall far from the tree because Trey and my father are just like their old man. 

“Well, I think where I am headed is pretty damn good.”  

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Drunk as a skunk in the morning, banging pussy all night, high as a kite in between all that. Repeat it again the day after. Pretty damn good.” He makes a few turns on the road and pulls up into a bar. I do a double take and he laughs. “We ain’t here to drink. I have a friend I want you to meet.”

I reluctantly get out of the truck and make my way into the bar known as Phil’s.  I follow Uncle Trey into the bar, noticing that it is completely empty except for two people.  There is an old man behind the bar and a woman who seems to be dressed too classy for a dive like this. 

“This the kid, Trey?”  The older man points in my direction and Trey just nods. 
What the fuck is going on here? Who the hell ordered an intervention?

“What is this Uncle Trey?” I look around, confused as hell. I don’t know what the hell’s going on but I have this feeling that I am not going to like it. I pull my arm out of his grasp as he starts to pull me to the man and woman at the bar.

“Look kid, I’m trying to help you!  You’re momma called me upset, saying she knows that you’re having a hard time coping with what you went through.  This here is Bobby and Savannah.  They helped me pull out of what I went through.  For a while there, if I saw the color purple I would freak the fuck out.  I couldn’t even watch the damn Tigers play anymore,” he grabs my arm as he says this and puts me in a seat next to Savannah. 

“Hi there. I’m Savannah and I actually help people like you for a living.”

“Help people like me?”

“Okay tiger, I wasn’t trying to offend you. I mean people who go through experiences like you. You see something that alters your world, only you don’t realize it.”

Okay she may have a point, but the thing is I realize what I am going through. I don’t always know what triggers the attacks or why I wake up covered in sweat most mornings, but I know what I am going through. Uncle Trey just takes a seat beside me and grabs the beer the man placed in front of him. What the hell? He can have one but I can’t?

“I see that look in your eyes.  I’m not the one self-medicating with alcohol.  So in answer to the unspoken question written all over that ugly mug you got, yes. Yes, I can have a beer.”   

Fucker. I reach into my jeans and pull out the pack of Marlboro’s and light one up. I take a drag and sit back waiting for the woman to continue.

“You are in the first stages of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Blake, this is a very dangerous thing.  It’s not uncommon for someone who has witnessed what you have.  Saying that let me also say, if you don’t ask for help soon you won’t like the person you become.”  She crosses her legs and smiles at me with her perfect white teeth.  She has hazel colored eyes and barely any breasts.  Focus, focus Blake.  This isn’t about your next conquest, which after today may be happening tonight.   “You need someone to talk to.  Bobby here, well he can attest to it, as well as Trey. They both went through similar experiences. We aren’t saying you have to do it today, but whenever you’re ready to listen, well they are ready to talk. As for me, whenever you’re ready to talk I’ll be ready to listen.”

I look over at her, then at Trey and growl out.  “So you want me to see some shrink?  I don’t have a problem.”  I get up and storm out of the bar, not even taking a second glance back.  I start to walk down the road not even caring if Trey is coming after me.  Mom thought I was going off the deep end.  Well now she won’t know a damn thing about me.  I’ll make sure of that. 

After about five minutes of walking, a car pulls up beside me. I look over to see a middle aged woman with jet black hair and brown eyes covered with black eye shadow, liner and red lips.  She is wearing a black tank top that shows off her nicely bought tits and a red bra that is peaking out the top.  I eye the 66’ Corvette she’s driving and smile. 

“Need a ride?” 

“Yeah, heading to Adams?” 

“Sure am, today’s your lucky day.  I’m Sasha.” 

“Blake,” I respond opening the door, lowering myself into the seat of the car and smiling as she licks her lips.  Looks like I won’t be the only one getting a ride today. 

Walking into the shop this morning, I see Mary-Beth waiting in my chair. She looks devastated and I don’t know what to tell her. Jameson has been home for about six months now and I hear Samantha has him close to walking with those prosthetics. I take a sip of my coffee and take a deep breath. I wonder what’s going on with Mary-Beth now.

“What’s up?” I look over at her and offer her some of the bagel I bought over at Penny’s before coming into the shop.

“I can’t do it anymore, Anna.” 

“Do what?” My head whips over in her direction as I see the tears form behind her eyes. This had better not have to do with Jameson.

“Last night, well Jameson scared me to death. I woke up to him screaming in agony. It sounded like someone was ripping him apart. He kept begging me to rub his legs
and I kept saying Jameson there is nothing for me to rub. Your legs are gone.” She starts to shake and I feel instantly sorry for her. I don’t know what to say to her. She takes a shaky breath and keeps going. “So, I started to rub the air. I know I’m a coward, but Anna I can’t be with him anymore. Seeing him like that, it scares me. I can’t do it.”

“Now, Mary-Beth, that’s selfish. That man would walk through hell for you. You shouldn’t give up on him when he needs you the most. He never gave up on you.” I say irately. This is one thing I hate about my best friend. Once the going gets tough, she goes the other way. She never has been able to stick something out. I should have seen this coming.

“Well, I can’t do it.  I’m scared to be alone with him.  Can you come over tonight?”  She looks at me with those sad eyes and just like every other time, I am back to being the person she needs. 

“Fine, I’ll come with you. Just pick me up after you get off of work.” I roll my eyes as she jumps up and throws her arms around me with a squeal.

“You’re the best, Anna!” 

I give her a pat on the back and look up to see Garrett standing in the doorway. My heart picks up speed and I smile at him as Mary-Beth pulls away.

“Morning ladies.  Sorry for interrupting.” 

“Good morning,
Garrett.  You aren’t interrupting.  Mary-Beth was just seeing herself out.”  I smile and she blushes as she looks at Garrett.  He’s dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a tight fitting blue V-neck t-shirt. 

“Yes, I um.  I was just leaving.  See you later, Anna!”  She scurries by Garrett and he smiles.

“Have a seat.” 

“Thanks, guess Brooklyn isn’t here yet?” He looks around and then at me in the mirror.

“Nope, you’ll miss her if he we hurry.” I giggle when he snorts.

“Yeah, I don’t think we can all be that lucky.” 

As if on cue,
I hear the door opening and her high pitched voice. “I told you not to do that Eric. I don’t care. No, I didn’t sleep with him. Whatever. I have to go, just walked into the door.” She turns into the room and stops. The look on her face is priceless. “Garrett.” She walks by him in her four inch heels, skin tight white capris and green top. I’ll admit she can pull that off. I, myself prefer my flats, but I am on my feet way more than Brooklyn.

“Hey, I thought you and Eric weren’t together anymore?”

Holy shit, why do I have to be involved in their spats?
 

“We are. Actually,
he’s moving in.” Brooklynn responds as she blows a bubble.

I start cutting his hair, trying to get him out of here faster than I ever have before.

“Yeah, we will be talking about that later.” He reasons then looks at me. “So, Anna. How have you been?”

Oh thank you Lord.  The man knows I don’t want to be involved.  “Oh, I am doing great.  I just got my own apartment, but I am afraid Mary-Beth will be wanting to move into it soon.  She is having problems with her fiancé.” 

“Oh, man. I am sorry to hear that. Well, I hope it works out for you.” 

I finish his hair and he shakes it off.

“Thanks.  Did you want me to shampoo you today?” 

I hear Brooklyn huff from her side of the room.  Great, today is going to be wonderful. 

“That’s okay.  I appreciate it.  I’ll see you in two weeks?” 

“Mmm hmm.” I respond as I start sweeping the floor.

“Brooklyn, let’s go outside for a moment.” Garrett says as he stands and slides his cap back on his head. I watch as Brooklyn stands and makes her way outside. What is wrong with that woman? He is fine as hell!

“You owe me fifty, Diana!” I laugh as I hear Barb scream from the kitchen, no doubt on her second cup of coffee this morning.

“No, indeed!  You said you bet they fought! They weren’t fighting, they were instigating.  Two different topics!”  Diane comes from the room and catches my eye.  “Right Anna?” 

“Oh no, you two are not getting me involved in this!” I sigh in relief when Ms. Jennifer walks into the room. “Right on time Ms. Carter.” I usher her to the shampoo bowl and start to work on getting my day over with. This is not what I wanted to deal with today. Let’s pray that tonight is much better.

~~~~~~~~~~

I walk into the house with Mary-Beth trailing behind me as if she is afraid the Devil is on the other side of the door. I see the roses sitting on the table and let out a sigh. This wouldn’t be the first time I interfered in
an intimate moment.   

“Jameson?” Mary-Beth calls out from behind me. 

I hear him groan and wrinkle my nose. Well excuse me, this wasn’t my freaking idea!

“Hey, Anna,” he goes back to stirring something in the kitchen and I immediately hate myself for agreeing to come with Mary-Beth.

“Oh my gosh! This is beautiful Jameson!”  Mary-Beth says and walks over to Jameson kissing him on the cheek.  I try to look anywhere but at them, feeling guilty for ruining the moment.  I blush as he looks over at me.

“You gals hungry? I thought I’d play Mr. Susie Homemaker while you were working,” Jameson replies while throwing a wink my way.

“Maybe I should come back later,
Mary-Beth. I um, I don’t want to interrupt,” I say quietly and look down at the floor blushing. 

“No, don’t go.  We have a lot of stuff to do.  Jameson won’t mind. Will you?” I really could kill Mary-Beth right now
and by the look on Jameson’s face, he agrees. I don’t want to be here anymore than he wants me
to be. 

“If you’ll excuse us Anna, I’m just going to steal Mary-Beth for a moment,” Jameson reaches over and pulls Mary-Beth to the side. 

“JAMESON YOU’RE WALKING! That’s amazing!” I jump up and down with excitement and awe.  I was afraid he wouldn’t walk for a while.  I am so glad he is.

I stand in the kitchen awkwardly as I hear the hushed whispers coming from the bedroom. I think about leaving but I know Mary-Beth would have my head. Just as I am getting ready to walk out the door, I see Jameson come out the bedroom.  

“Enjoy dinner.  There’s some wine in the fridge, too.”  He gives me a sad smile and then turns to walk out the door.

“Jameson, wait,” I walk out of the house with him but he just holds up his hand and keeps going. Great. Just great. I didn’t want this either, Jameson. My head is spinning and I am pissed off. This is not what I want. Why do I always get stuck in the middle of their bullshit? I walk back into the house and Mary-Beth is standing there with her arms crossed.

“Picking his side?” 

“Sit your ass down and listen to me for once.”

I want to laugh because the look on her face is priceless. “That man. He worships the ground you walk on and you don’t deserve it. You are the most selfish bitch I have ever met, Mary-Beth. I have always let you be, but you need to stop before you push everyone away! He did this for you! FOR YOU! He’s walking again! You should be supporting him every step of the way! Not bringing me in here and making me look to be the bad person!” I am heaving from the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I can’t believe I just said this to her. The tears start to brim in her eyes, but I can’t even remotely begin to care. This is more than I can handle.