Inconsequential (J+P series) (10 page)

Chapter 19

“How many finals do you have left?”  Jared and I were walking around campus after getting ice cream on our last Tuesday.

“Two.  I’ll do my best but I’m not sure it even matters.  I’m going to the new school in the fall regardless of what happens on the finals.”

“True.”

“Jared, listen.  Please don’t tell anyone about us?”  He looked at me like he did not understand the words coming out of my mouth.

“Why not?”

“I just don’t know how everyone will take it.  I don’t need to lose any friends right now.  Besides, who knows what’s gonna happen with us this summer.  You might be bored with writing and visiting me.”

“Ugh, would you stop with that?  I told you I would visit and write.  I meant it,”  he sighed and shook his head.  “But yeah, if you want me to keep quiet, I can do that.”

“Thanks,” I said as I squeezed his hand. 

“By the way, if they DID find out about us and they quit being your friend, I’d kick their ass.”  That made me laugh.

Further out on campus we felt comfortable holding hands and being physically close, but as we neared our dorm we dropped back to a friendly position.  When we made it to the dorm I gave him a quick hug and promised to see him at dinner the next night.

I didn’t really see Greg much after the formal dinner that one night.  David was on the girls’ side hanging with his girlfriend and I asked what was up with Greg.

“He’s pretty pissed about you leaving school and is trying to cope with it in his own way.”

I loved Greg, he was so much fun to banter with and he cared about me.  But he turned off when things got bad and it was so hard to know where his brain was going in those moments.  If I saw him, I would try to talk with him, but he was like a ghost on campus these last days.

On the last day I had all my stuff packed and decided to wait outside of the dorm.  The weather was warm, there was a gentle breeze, and the sun was shining.  I loved this campus.  It was beautiful and I would miss it.  “I think that’s the last of it.”  Jared said as he bounded down the steps carrying one more bag.  I wasn’t sure I wanted him to meet my parents but he insisted on it.  I was afraid he would chew them out for all the stories he heard about them. Or maybe after meeting them he would become enamored with them and no longer believe any of the stories that I had told about them and I would lose my one ally.  It couldn’t be a positive interaction.

He sat next to me on the curb looking out at the large grassy hill where we had studied, sledded, and cooked ourselves in the sun countless times.  “Are you and Greg rooming here again next year?” I asked.

“Nah, I think we’ve had enough time together.  I’m getting an apartment with a friend from the physics department.  I think Greg, David, and Jim are getting an apartment up in this area though.”

“It’s probably for the best.  You and Greg have been at each other more this year.”

“Yeah, I need a break.” He said.

I felt a gentle touch on the side of my knee.  I looked down and saw him tracing the cut marks on my skin.  “What happened?”  He looked so concerned and I needed to distract him.  I wasn’t ready to talk about that.

“Packing injury.”

“But two side by side.  Strange.  What gotcha’?”

“I don’t know.  Please don’t touch it.”  I moved my arms to cover the cuts.

“Sorry.  I just….I just wondered what happened.  Are you embarrassed about it?”

Shit.  “No, I just don’t want to talk about it.  It’s such a nice day.”

“Yeah, it’s amazing.  I’m gonna miss you Perry.  I wish you weren’t going to that other school.”

I nodded.  “Me too.”

Just then my parents pulled up.  My dad opened the trunk and began loading my stuff in.  My mom came out of the car.  “Say goodbye to campus.  A brand new one awaits you.”  She really didn’t get it.  Jared put his hand on the center of my back to let me know he was with me.  That single touch was so grounding and comforting.

“Mom and Dad, this is my friend Jared.”  They approached him with big smiles and handshakes.  They were good at wowing others.  Good at the facade.

“I guess I’ll see you later.” I said as I looked up at Jared.  He had a small smile on his face.

“Yes you will,” and he gave me a quick peck on my lips.  I melted.  I really loved this guy.  He was the one I could see myself marrying.  He was the one I could not resist.  Was this my last kiss with him?  I hoped not, but I really did not know.  I got in the car and waved goodbye.  He put his hands in his jean pockets and watched us ride away.

My mom’s running commentary filled the car “That David was nice.  Though he looked sloppy with those gym shoes and jeans with the ripped knees.”

“His name is Jared mom.  Those are Chuck Taylors, and ripped knees are in.”

What on earth would my summer be like?  I had 3 months to enjoy before starting a new college as a Junior, which would suck on so many levels,  Time to push a few boundaries and do what I wanted for a change. 

Chapter 1

Book 3 of J+P series

I ran out to the mailbox.  I was still holding out on a letter regarding my Sophomore year.  I hoped that I might get a letter stating that I excelled enough in my classes and qualified for advanced studies in life sciences.  Then nothing would have to change.  Jared and I would have a chance at a relationship. 

I opened the door and reached in.  There were catalogs, a few bills, and a handwritten envelope addressed to me.

Greg Tonkle

4322 Elm

Indianapolis, IN
             

                                          Perry Walken

             
                            11329 Sacred Eagle

             
                            Champaign, IL

I hadn’t heard from Greg since the restaurant; hadn’t said goodbye.  I thought I’d never hear from him again.  I shoved the envelope into my pocket and sprinted into the house. There was no letter from the school. 

In the comfort of the air conditioning, I plopped on the couch and pulled out Greg’s letter.

Perry,

So, sorry I kinda vanished on you the last week.  Your news sucks and I just needed time to think.  BTW, I’m still thinking and I haven’t come to any conclusions other than I don’t want you to go off to Idaho with you and I on bad terms.  So, I’m gonna write, and try to visit this summer too.  Jim, David, and I are having a summer party at our new apartment the first weekend in July and I want you to come to it.

                                                                                                  Miss you.

             
                                                                                    Greg

Huh.  I can’t say I expected to hear from him...ever.  I walked to my room and put his letter in my desk.  I would write back later this weekend.  For now, I was going to enjoy my day off and lay out.  I gathered my towel, a cold drink and the new young adult novel I picked up at the bookstore and headed to the backyard.  Once I was set up, I lay back on the lawn chair and let the sun rays heat my face.  I was turning over a new leaf - no more overthinking.  Life kept throwing me curve balls and it didn’t seem to do me any good to stew over each change.  It mucked with my sleep, it occupied too much of my time, and led to nothin’ good in the end.  From now on, I was taking things as they came and dealing with only what was before me.