Incendiary (The Premonition Series (Volume 4)) (63 page)

“No, you don’t have to…I’ll just have
to be braver,” I reply
with a ghost of a smile
.

“Who among us c
ould be braver?” Aldo asks, and my eyes widen
in surprise
. Seeing it, his smile deep
ens
. “I will make you something special.” I let my han
d drop from his before he walks
to the door behind the bar again.

“I should’v
e killed him,” Tau says
softly, causing my ey
es to grow bigger as they turn to him. For a second, I think he’s
talki
ng about Aldo. Tau
must have sensed my confus
ion, because he adds
, “Alfred.
Xavier wanted to, but I thought we should wait to see what they were plotting
.”

“What?” i
s
all
I can say as my mouth goes
dry.

“He was around before you went to Crestwood. You went to his ho
use prior to school—
f
or a brunch?” he asks
me, looking grim.

I nod
dumbly.

“Xavier would’ve torn him apart—
he argued vehemently for it, but I allowed you to go, to
see what he was after,” Tau says
. “I didn’t know then that I would be leaving you unprotected from him.”

“You knew that Freddie—
Alfred, was going to follow me to Crestwo
od and you did nothing?” I ask
for clarity.

A frown darkens
his perfect brow.
“I thought that we’d be able to tak
e care of him there after he le
d us to his associates. I wanted to know al
l the players…what exactly the f
allen Seraphim planned
for you,” Tau explains
.

“When was the last time you saw me?
When did you get called back?
” I ask
.

“Your first day at Crestwood. W
e had
been planning to go with yo
u. Cole had secured our housing
so that we could
wait until
the
moment that you began to evolve
,
” he pause
s
.

“Why wait?
Why couldn’t you just tell me what I needed to know?
” I ask
him, upset that he hadn’t told me
anything
when he had a chance—
so many, many chances.

“Evie, you were happy being human
. T
hat w
orld made sense to you,” he says
sadly. “T
here w
as so much that you were facing—
I wanted you to
be a child for as long as possible, because the minute
you
knew, all
of
that would end.”

I try
to calm the raw emotions inside of me
while holding
tight to my glass
and
waiting for him to continue.

“You were really ne
rvous the
morning
you left for school
, r
emember?” he asks
me with a wry smile. “You kept checking to make sure that Jim had enough grocer
ies fo
r the week—
pos
t
ing notes
everywhere to remind him to
pick up his dry-cleaning…”

I look
at him, seeing his eyes soften, and then
I nod my head, hoping he will
continue.
The same
nervousness that I felt on the mo
rning
before leaving for school settles
over me
once again
.

“I
watched you climb into your car—
so hopeful
,
and
yet
, sad at the same time,” he says
.

“You were there,” I whisper with
the realization that what he
has been telling me i
s
true. He was there—t
hey
all were.

“
It happened almost the instant you pulle
d out of your driveway,” he explains, and he sounds
almost bitter.

“What did?” I ask
.

“
Cole began to ascend. H
e resisted the pull,
but his struggles were in vain. He knew it. T
he pull is as strong for us as it is when a soul ascends…he began to fade becoming a shadow of his form…”

I ca
n’t help saying numbly,
“I witnessed a soul ascending
when I was hi
ding from Pagan.”

“
Yes,
Pagan,” he says
her name
like he just ate something sour
. “
Th
en you know the intensity of it—
the encompassing need to comply with the host of angels t
hat call out to you…” he trails off when I nod
my head.

“So, you and Xavier ascend
ed
with
Cole?” I question
.

Tau shakes
his
head, saying, “No, we resisted—
”

“You did?” I interrupt him
, stunned by his admission of noncompliance with Heaven.

Tau nods as his jaw tenses
.
“We followed you to
Crestwood. T
he sky above us resonated with the c
all of voices for our
return, but when we didn’t comply, t
hey
decided to take us by force.
Xavier
began t
o fade when h
e
made it to your room at Crest
wood, but
he
felt sure you saw him, because you called out to him
, asking who was there—
”
he says
, sounding haunted.

“Oh my God!
” I breathe
, r
emembering returning to my room
alone for the first time and thinking I saw a shadow pass over my wall a
s I entered.
“That
shadow was—”

“Xav
ier,” Tau replies
. “
He wa
s faster—h
e made it there
before
me.
I was f
ading, too.
When I arrived,
I could only watch
you from your f
ire escape—you cut your finger.”
I can only nod at him in
response
. “
I w
anted to tell you then about us—
about everything…
but that wasn’t to be…
I ascended,” he says
softly.
“I—
we were confused—
a
ngry,” he replies
in a salty tone
. "We felt betrayed
.”

My eyes gro
w wide
.
“Wa
sn’t that the plan?” I ask
.

“It was never my plan…
or
Xavier
’s
—
he was i
nconsolable
,” h
e replies
, lacking even a hint of l
evity.

“But, you wer
e in Paradise, right?” I ask in confusion
.

“You think that it matters
?” he asks
with equal confusion.

“Doesn’t it? I
t’s Parad
ise…you know, Heaven,” I reply
.

He pauses
for a moment,
and
then
he
ask
s
, “You know
nothing of Paradise
but human speculation
and second-hand accoun
ts. Am I correct?”

“That’s right,” I reply
.

“
I want you to do something for me. I want
you to close your eyes,” he says, and waits for me to do as he asks
.

Closing my eyes, I listen
to the beautiful resonance of his voice
,
when he
says
;
“I want
you
to pictu
re Jim in your mind.” I squeeze
my eyes tighter at the mention of my
uncle’s name. “Picture leaving him behind,
knowing ve
r
y well just how vulnerable he i
s to any f
allen angel that happens upon him
—
k
nowing that he will
both attract them and consume them with envy
.
” My heart tightens
painfully in my chest
.

Tau
continues
,
“
You know how fragile Jim is—
that you could easily snap him in half
now
without any
effort. Then
,
consider my vast
knowledge of kill
ing.
If you were to i
magine every scenario
and possible torture that you’
ve witnessed and apply
it to him
, it could not possibly compare to what I can imagine
,” he murmurs.

Tears slip
from my closed eyes.

“
Now, i
magine the most gru
esome place that you can. I
magine Sheol
w
h
ere to smell rotting flesh would be a relief and imagine
them
taking him there. Jim,
so beloved to you
,
now nearly unre
cognizable as ever having been d
ivine be
cause he has either
perished
at their hands or been
turned into something so ugly
you
ha
rdly dare to look upon him and mark the violation h
e has suffered to become so vile
.”

My eyes open slowly when Tau’s hand reaches
across the table to take
mine
.
“Do you think that Heaven
could console me,
knowing
that
I left my daughter behind
?” he asks
.

Shaking my head
, I can
hardly look at him. “Did
you
see Jim?” I ask, but it co
me
s
out like a croak.

“Xavier and I tracked him down
,” Tau replies
with a nod.

“W
hat did they do to him?” I ask, trying hard to hold back
tears of despair and anger
. “I have imagined every possible sce
nario. D
id they torture him?
”

“He could
n’t remember anything
about his death
—
n
o torture or pain. H
e i
s content
,” he says
gently, and I ca
n’t
help weeping in grief and a modicum of relief. “
He gave me something to give to you when I sa
w you…
and
the moment was right,” Tau says
in a gentle tone
, letting go of my hand
.

“
What?” I ask
him breathlessly.

Rising from his chair, he walks
to mine. Leaning down, he places
a tender kiss on my
wet cheek. When my eyes connect
with
his, he says
, “
He said to say
, ‘
Being your human father was the greatest honor of all of his lifetimes.
’
”

“How could he say that?” I ask Tau as he crouches near my seat. U
sing his napkin
, he
wipe
s the
tears from my cheeks. “I didn’t protect him.
”

“You couldn’t p
rotect him. It’s not your fault—it’s mine,” he replies
.