In Your Wildest Dreams (34 page)

"Great sex."

Relief filled him. Thank God that was all she said, nothing more.

And that was
exactly
what they had.

Even if his heart argued there was more to it. Even if it beat harder than it should right now, each pulsation reminding him that—like it or not—he had feelings for her. Feelings that assaulted him in his dreams, and feelings that were assaulting him just as brutally
outside
the dreams.

Overwhelming guilt pummeled him with a brand-new fear, one he'd only admitted to himself this very second. What if he was falling in love with her? With another woman he couldn't allow to depend on him too much. Another woman who wasn't the woman he'd promised to love and take care of forever. Another woman he'd let down in the end if he allowed his feelings to go any further.

"Thank you, Jake," she said.

He met her eyes, hating in that moment how damn pretty they were, the way they always drew him in. "For?" "Telling me."

He shouldn't have. He scarcely knew why he had.
Because you're falling in love with her.
No. No fucking way. "We should sleep," he said. "All right," she whispered.

He made sure not to touch her as slumber took him. Safer that way. Safer for him. Safer for her. This couldn't be love. He wouldn't let it.

Chapter 19

Sun
glancing through the curtains forced Stephanie's eyes open. She knew without even peeking over that Jake lay next to her—she felt his massive strength; she drank in the musky, manly scent of him.

When he'd first told her he'd been married, her first reaction had been instant—and insane—jealousy. To think he'd had a wife. That deep connection, vowing your life to someone. It had made her feel like nothing, a tiny blip on his radar screen.

But when he'd told her the rest of it, her heart had broken for him. Dear God, no wonder he'd seemed so angry when they met. And to think he held himself responsible for Becky's death.

Impulse drew her closer to him. She simply leaned up against him, taking in his warmth, studying St. Michael busy vanquishing evil on his arm.

He stirred, sliding that arm around her, pulling her against him. She went willingly, her stomach swirling with how good he felt, how she wished she could somehow
press herself into him, be a part of him, find a way to diminish his pain.

Their eyes met in the morning light, his sleepy but warm as he leaned to kiss her forehead. He spoke softly. "I shouldn't have told you all that."

"Why not?'

"I shouldn't have dumped it on you. It's too much." "I don't mind. I'm glad I know. And I kind of twisted your arm."

He sighed. "You're sweet,
beb,
but even so
...
me and you,
this,
it's just
..."

She bit her Up, waiting, tensing, praying he didn't feel her body go rigid.

"It's
...
fun, easy. I like things the way they are, and I shouldn't have muddied it up with such serious shit."

"I've told you some pretty serious shit, too."

'True. But what
you
told
me
enabled us to have some really good sex, so it doesn't count against you." He winked.

She smiled at him, but didn't feel it inside, because even though she
knew
what they had had was only fun, easy, casual sex, there were moments—like every time he looked in her eyes, every kiss, certainly every time he was inside her—when it felt like more. Just now, wanting to be so close to him—it was a nearly overpowering need.

Could easy fun be so intense? She didn't know. Maybe she was blowing this out of proportion. But while last night on the way to meet him she'd been able to smile about having an
affair,
and a
lover,
this morning the words didn't hold such grand appeal. They sounded far emptier than what she felt when she looked into his eyes.

Relax. Your body, your muscles
.
She couldn't let him know she was going schoolgirl and romantic on him.
To
turn it into something it wasn’t would only make her look foolish and ruin everything good they’d shared. She had a feeling Jake Broussard didn’t do romantic.

Except maybe with his wife.

She could deny it, she’d heard the gentle cadence of true romance in his voice when he’d spoken of her. Hence the irrational jealously.

What was the problem here? Now that she knew Jake could do romance, she suddenly wanted that with him?

“Help me shop for Shondra today?” he enquired, eyebrows raising slightly.

She blinked. “Shondra? Oh, the runaway? Of course.” Her heart warmed at simply being asked, just as it had last night. You’re a silly, silly woman, Stephanie.

“Now,” he said, “a much more important question. How do you think Mrs Lindman will feel about you bringin’ your lover to breakfast?”

There it was again, lover. Sexy-sounding, especially coming in his deep drawl, but still
…suddenly…she wished the word meant more than “guy I’m having sex with.” Damn it, she’d been doing so well with the affair concept. Yet maybe this was inevitable. Maybe it was impossible not to feel something serious for the first guy since college to inspire real passion in her. It had been easy to be worldly and mature with other men, who made her feel so little, but this was the opposite end of the spectrum.

She smiled anyway and forced herself into the moment. “I think it’s breakfast in bed for us today.”

He grinned. “Suits me just fine.”

She eased out from under the covers, still in his T-shirt. “I’ll go grab us some muffins or something.”

“Don’t forget to wear panties.” He winked. “The indiscretion might be a little more obvious in the light of day.”

She laughed—for the moment, drawn back into the easy, fun part. "I'll have to see if I can find any you haven't ripped to shreds."

He put his hands behind his head and watched her as she dug in a drawer, and she liked feeling his gaze bum through her. "Maybe while we're out
shopping
' today," he said, "we'll buy you some new ones."

"These." Jake held up a tiny pair of flesh-colored thong panties.

She cast a skeptical smile. She liked nice lingerie, but she'd never worn a thong before. "That looks a bit like a torture device. Don't suppose I could ask you to look for something more comfortable."

"Fact is,
chère,
I've heard they aren't as uncomfortable as they look."

She laughed. "Surveyed the girls at Sophia's, have you? Or is it a more personal study?"

He raised a wicked grin. "Let's just say I'm a connoisseur of fine panties and leave it at that." He leaned closer then, and spoke low. "Although I wasn't thinkin' about comfort when I picked these out. I was bein' far more selfish—thinkin' about how hot you'd look."

Her whole body went warm as she snatched the panties from his hand. "All right—for you, I'll wear them."

He bent for a quick kiss, his eyes so sexy that for a second she couldn't believe she got to sleep with this gorgeous man. "Only two more to go," he said, switching his gaze to the 3
for
$20 sign.

Lowering her shopping bag to the floor, she began rifling through stacks of underwear on the same table Jake continued perusing. She liked that he wasn't one of those guys who stood around Victoria's Secret with his hands in his pockets, looking sheepish. It thrilled her to let him pick out something sexy for her.

It was to be their last stop at the Riverwalk Marketplace, as they'd already bought Shondra a bag full of clothes from both The Gap and Abercrombie & Fitch. Stephanie had enjoyed picking out cute shorts and summery tops for the girl, as well as
f
in
ding
a simple black skirt and low-heeled sandals that would work for job hunting. They were guessing at sizes, but figured some exchanging could be done if necessary since the mall that hugged the Mississippi was within walking distance of Jake's place.

Within a few moments, each of them held up another pair of
undoes
. Stephanie's were lavender, while Jake's were black and predictably ultraskimpy. So skimpy that she laughed when she saw them. "Do they even serve a purpose?"

He blinked. "Of course. Pleasin' your lover."

There it was again, that word. God, it did sound sexy rolling off Jake's tongue. And that—being his lover— would have to be enough. It wasn't as if she really had a choice anyway. She'd have to view it as she had in the beginning, and as Jake undoubtedly did—as a pleasant way to pass the nights while they searched for Tina.

She smiled, taking them from his hand. "All right. With my pair, that makes three."

In response, he grabbed away the lavender panties and held them up, looking at the regular bottom as if it didn't quite meet his approval.

Giggling tightly, she snatched them back. "These are very much like the ones I was wearing last night. And I didn't notice you complaining about those."

One corner of his mouth tilted upward. "You're right,
beb.
You look real pretty in
anything
you wear, or in nothin' at all." He reached for her hand and lowered a slower, more lingering kiss to her mouth. When it was through, leaving her stomach filled with happy butterflies, he spoke softly. "We'd better go get lunch before I'm tempted to have my way with you right here."

She bit her lip. "That makes lunch sound pretty boring."

When had she become this woman who wanted to be ravished in the middle of a mall? she wondered, laughing. When had she become this wild thing eager to squeeze into naughty lingerie for her man's pleasure?

Mmm, this
was
fun. Easy. Just like Jake said.

Keep it that way,
she warned herself.

"Oooh,
chère,"
he said, reaching past her for a hanger holding a transparent, flesh-colored negligee trimmed in bits of mauve lace. "You look pretty in anything, but you'd look damn fine in this."

She bit her lip, studying it. Much more revealing than any of the standard lingerie she'd ever owned. Imagining how it would feel to have Jake's eyes on her when she wore it—and Jake's hands peeling it off her—made her tingle. "I think so, too," she said, gazing up at him.

"Now, that's what I like to hear," he purred before taking the handful of
undoes
from her fist and heading toward the cash register to pay.

When an earlier conversation had revealed to Jake that she'd not yet tried a po'boy, he'd put that on the menu for lunch, so they soon settled at a table with a river view after grabbing some sandwiches from Messina's, to which Jake added a side of red beans and rice. View or not, though, Stephanie couldn't quite take her eyes off Jake as they ate and chatted.

"Have to work tonight,
beb,"
he said. "And after that, I'm drivin' out to the bayou house for a couple days."

For a moment, Stephanie forgot to breathe, but at least she didn't gasp. Given all their sexy talk while shopping, she just hadn't envisioned
...
But she held in her sigh and tried not to be hurt. "Guess my sexy new panties will have to wait." She only hoped she sounded as natural and unaffected as she wanted to be.
Easy and fun. That's what this is. Get that through your head.

He gave her a slow smile, enough to bury her in desire if she let it. "Gives me somethin' to look forward to," he said, then changed the subject to a topic much more important than her sexual urges. "I'll check with Tony before I go, though, and let you know if there's any news on Tina. And I'll give him your number at the LaRue in case he needs to reach you. Otherwise, I'll get down to checkin' out some spots in the CBD myself when I get back. Think you can stay put 'til then?"

Despite wanting to be totally cool about his departure, she took a saucy attitude. "Frankly, you're testing my patience. What am I supposed to do with myself for these days you're away?"
And these nights, too.

He gave her a chiding grin. "Go see a movie. Go to the aquarium. Take the ferry over to Algiers—you'd like it over there, real quaint. Just do anything besides what you know you're
not
supposed to do."