In Too Deep (22 page)

Chapter
46

Later finally arrives, and I’m back in Colt’s room.
My nightly solace from the horrifying truth of my last assignment.

I’m still racked with guilt over the oil spill, the baby seals I see on TV covered in the sticky soot, the huge ship resting unnaturally on its side against the reef, and the millions of gallons of black oil lapping at the once pristine shoreline.

But with each day that’s passed since the disaster, my fear that I’ll be discovered and removed from class in handcuffs has subsided.  And Colt has been the best distraction I could have hoped for. I wish he could see our compromise for what it is, but I know I can’t rush him. And regardless of whatever label we’ve placed on our non-relationship, I am incredibly grateful for him. I wouldn’t be coping nearly as well if it weren’t for Colt.

But I am far from
okay with how things are. I still want Colt’s realization at what we have, and of course I still want revenge on McAllister too.

I take a deep breath, willing myself to be brave.
“Colt?”

“
Hm?” He’s absently massaging my hand, tracing the lifeline over and over with his fingertip.

“I want to talk about our
compromise
.”

He straightens and looks at me.

“What about it? You don’t like how things are going?”

I shake my head. “It’s not that.
” It’s the opposite in fact.

He smiles, relaxing into me once again. “Then what is it, baby?”

His nickname for me always makes me smile. “It’s just that, I am enjoying it…but I think I could enjoy it more if I knew where we stood. What we… are.”

Crap
. I totally sound like the high school girl that I am. But it’s too late. Colt’s brow creases with understanding. “I’m listening…what did you have in mind?”

I look at him, my eyes sparking with hope. “So I’ve been thinking lately
…” I take my time, not wanting to rush this.

His eyes are bright and beautiful and he’s watching me again.

“What we have, what we’re doing…what’s the difference between this and a real relationship?”

He’s quiet for a few moments and my heart pounds in my chest. I have no idea if he’s going to push me away or if he’s realizing what I’m saying is true.

He brings his hand to my face, and softly strokes my cheek with the back of his knuckles. “Okay,” he whispers, nuzzling into my neck.

“Okay?”

“I’ve been thinking about it too,” he says.

“Oh really?”
I tease.

“Yes,
I was thinking that the, uh,  girlfriend thing – I might like to try that. With you.”

My heart flips and does a somersault.
“Really?” Holy God, Colt wants me.
Me
!

He smiles and takes my hand
, lacing his fingers with mine. “Would that make you happy, baby?”

I smile. “I think that could be good.”
I try my best to play it cool, but in my mind, I’m twirling in full happy dance mode.

“But?” he prompts,
tilting his head at my hesitation.

“But there are probably a few things we need to talk about first.”

Chapter 47

I wait anxiously for Taylor to say something, anything. I’ve just put myself out there, but she presses her lips together, being coy. Then she takes my hand and pulls m
e down to the bed with her. This is getting interesting.

“I want to…but I’m scared.”

I’m an idiot. Of course she’s scared. This is all new for her.

I take her hand, running my thumb across her knuckles. “No. Don’t be. I promise to be gentle, and we won’t do anything you’re not ready for.
Until you’re sure, okay?”

Her
lips twist into a smile. “No, I’m not scared of
that
…”

I tilt my head. Well now I’m thoroughly confused. “Wait. So you’re not a virgin?”

She pulls her hand out of mine. “No. Is that a problem?”

“Of course not.
I just thought…”

She swallows, looking unsure.
“My ex-boyfriend, Wes.” She looks down as though she’s afraid to admit it.

“
Shhh.” I take her hand again. “That doesn’t matter to me. Tell me why you’re scared.”

She settles back, leaning against
the pillows, visibly relieved at my reaction. She lets me take her hand and lace my fingers with hers again. But I don’t like the way she studies our hands together, like she’s looking for flaws.

“Everyone seems to think the only reason you haven’t moved on to another girl is because we haven’t, uh, messed around yet. And I’m scared that if we do, you’ll get bored of me…and… I don’t want to lose you.”

“No.” I shake my head, pulling her close, tucking her against my chest.

“No?
Just no?” Her voice is questioning, sarcastic.

It makes me smile.

“Care to elaborate?” she asks.

“It’s not like that with you, Taylor. I want you, trust me, more than anything, but that’s not all I want. I like hanging out with you, I like the way you want to train with me, how tough you are. You’re beautiful, smart and sassy as hell, and I love all of it.”

Love? Did I just say love? That came out of nowhere.

“Thank you,” she says against my neck. “If you want to do this…
this girlfriend thing
, as you call it…we’ll need to take it slow.”

“Okay.” I nod. “I can do slow.”

“Are you sure?” She sounds skeptical.

“No. But I’ll try.” How hard can it be?

The air hangs between us, charged with a new energy, raw and radiating intensity. I like the idea that she’s mine. “So you’ll be with me then?”

She nods.

I pull back and look at her. I bring my hand up and carefully touch her mouth. At my touch, she parts her lips and draws in a breath. She blushes at my attention, her eyes falling closed.

I love the effect I have on her. Fuck, there’s that word again.
Love
. I ignore it. “These pretty, full lips are mine now.”

Her eyes fly open, studying me. I hold my breath, hoping I haven’t pushed her
away with that admission.

She takes a deep breath
and releases it slowly. “Even though I’ve done it before, I need you to know that I won’t be ready for sex for a while…okay?”

I nod. “
Baby, I told you, that’s fine.” I do my best to reassure her, but my body is on edge with want for her. I take a deep breath, calming myself.

She gives me a naughty little grin. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t play a little.”

I nearly choke on my breath. “Play?”

She nods seductively, blinking up at me, batting her eyelashes. “That okay with you?”

“Yes, please.”

She giggles as I lean in closer, ever eager, but I remind myself not to rush her. I am
not
going to be good at this going slow thing. But knowing I have to try, I take my time as her rich vanilla scent fills all my senses.

Chapter 48

Colt’s
phone has buzzed against his desk twice now. The third time, I hop up from the bed and jog for it. The name
Yes
flashes on the screen. A pang of jealousy flares up inside of me.

“Who is it?” he asks.

“Here.” I toss the phone at him. I can’t say her name. Actually I don’t even know her name, just the sexy yet ridiculous nickname he’s given her that makes me want to puke. The next time I get a hold of his phone, I’m going to change the contact name to
No
.

He inspects the phone with a frown,
then sets it on the table beside his bed. “Don’t worry about her. You have nothing to worry about.”

We continue snuggling on his bed, pretending to watch a movie when there’s a knock at his door.

We both sit up, looking at each other. Who’d be here this late? “Are you expecting someone?”

“No.” He shakes his head.

I stand beside the table while he opens the door.

A beautiful blonde with long, lean legs and sky high heels stands pouting at his door. “You didn’t answer your phone.” Her voice is
light, seductive.

Holy shit! This is
Yes
.

“Oh.” Her eyes dart past him to me. “I didn’t know you had company.” The tension on her face is visible. She doesn’t like the idea of Colt being with anyone else.

Colt, who seems stunned and unsure, recovers just slightly, motioning her to come inside. “This is Taylor, my girlfriend.” He says it so naturally. My heart swells with pride.

She sucks in a breath, her eyes moving over me with
hatred.

“This is Samantha.” He walks back over to me, snaking his arm around my waist, which is good, because my legs feel shaky.

She’s gorgeous. This girl makes Bria look homely.
Holy shit.
This is not good. Not good at all. Samantha comes closer, her heels clicking across the wooden floor. She extends her hand to me, shaking mine once. She looks a few years older than Colt. Her face is impassive, confident and poised. She gives nothing away.

Meanwhile m
y cheeks flame red, remembering the loud groans and bed knocking against the wall that night. And then her seeing me crying in the hall. She doesn’t seem to recognize me though, thank God.

Colt clutches my hip, and I’m not sure if he’s trying to convince me, himself or Samantha that we’re together.
Holy hell.
Breathe Taylor. Seeing her in his room is more than I can handle.

“Why are you here?” Colt asks.

“I thought you’d be alone and might want some company.”

“I didn’t answer my phone. That should tell you I’m not available.”

The banter between them is thick with tension. I can feel their closeness, that they know each other well. And I really freaking hate it.

I slip out of Colt’s grasp, needing to make a break for the door. “I’ll let you guys talk.”

“No, Taylor. You don’t have to go.” Colt reaches for me again.

“It’s okay. You guys probably have some things to sort out, I’ll just be outside.”

He nods, almost reluctantly, like he doesn’t want me to leave him alone with this girl. I don’t want to leave him alone with her either, but I can’t watch them together.

I step out into the hall, leaning against the wall. I leave the door cracked open behind me.
I’m not going to leave them completely alone and unsupervised in his room. I trust Colt, it’s her I don’t trust.

Samantha’s heels click across the floor. I don’t like knowing that she
’s so comfortable in his bedroom. “So that’s who’s captured all your attention lately.”

“Yes,”
he returns, polite as ever.

“She looks awfully young. Does she satisfy you, Colt?”

“That’s none of your damn business, Samantha. Why are you here?” His voice sounds tense.

“I don’t get what you see in her. Why does she get all your attention and I don’t anymore?”

Colt stays quiet and my heart thumps against my chest, waiting.

Samantha’s heels click across the floor again. “I was your go to girl. I know you. And I know you must miss it.”

“Miss what?”

“The sex,” her voice is teasing, playful.

Holy God.
I can’t breathe. I hold my breath, waiting for Colt to answer. He must miss it.

“No,” Colt says, his voice firm.

Oh, thank God. Air surges into my lungs again. Samantha isn’t the meaningless fling Colt always assumed she was. She likes him. I can hear it in her voice. Her desperate pleas. She wants the side of him that I have captured.

“I outlasted all your other play things. You’ll get bored of this one too.”

“I am far from bored by her,” Colt says.

“Oh.” Samantha laughs. “I get it. You haven’t had her yet. Well once you get her out of your system,
baby you know I’ll be there for you.”

My insides flame with jealousy.
I want to storm in there. I want to cause her physical pain, but instead, I stand in the hall trembling.

“That’s enough. I think you should go now.”

Her heels click across the floor again. “Just remember how good we used to be, baby.”

“Goodbye, Samantha.”

I disappear down the hall, not wanting Samantha or Colt to see me cry.