In Too Deep (10 page)

Chapter 18

I toss and turn
on the hard mattress unable to sleep. I glance at the digital clock. One in the morning. I hear Colt turn over on the floor. I peek off the edge of the bed, trying to see if he’s awake. In the moonlight streaming through the curtains, I can see his eyes are open.

“Hi.” He look
s up at me.

“Hi.”
I giggle, feeling like I’ve been caught. “I can’t sleep.”

“Me neither.”

I don’t say it’s because I’m freaking out about that kiss just as much as I am over our botched assignment earlier today.

He sits up, and stretches.
I notice at some point, he changed into a pair of mesh shorts and a white T-shirt.

“Is there any Chinese food left?”

He laughs, shaking his head. “There might be an egg roll left.” He gets up, turns on a lamp and rummages through the containers we left on the table. “And some noodles too.”

He carries
both containers over to me, setting them on the bed and hands me a pair of chop sticks.

“Thanks.”

“Mind if I turn the TV on?”

“Nope,” I say around a mouthful of noodles.

He flips on the TV, and stands at the end of the bed, flipping through the channels.

“You can sit with me.” I pat the side of the bed.

“Thanks.” He sits down, scooting up until his back is pressed against the headboard.

“Want
a bite?” I offer him half the egg roll.

“I’m good, thanks.” He smirks.

We watch mindless middle of the night infomercials while I polish off the last of the Chinese food.

When I come back from brushing my teeth, Colt is sprawled out on the bed, looking a little too comfortable. I let it pass and lie down next to him.

I think about how different my life has become in the past few months. I miss living at home with my parents, I miss our pancake breakfasts on Saturday mornings, and working side by side with my dad on the computer – on things that would never get you attacked by a German jewel thief.  I miss them more than I thought I would.

“Colt?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you miss your family, being away at the school, I mean?”

He’s quiet for a second, as if considering my question. “I miss my mom. My dad, not so much.” He rolls over onto his side, facing me. “Are you homesick?”

I nod, meeting his eyes. “I guess so.”

“Do you have a boyfriend back home?”

“Nope.” The memory of Wes rears its ugly head, but I push back down.

“So what about you?
After your heartfelt breakup with Bria yesterday…no girlfriend?”

He smirks. “
I know you’ve heard the rumors about me by now,” he says calmly. “Not all of them are true, by the way.”

I notice he doesn’t deny that some of them are true, or clarify which
ones are fact and which are fiction.

“L
ove is a farce” he says.

Oh, how original.
A hot guy that doesn’t believe in love.
I keep my mouth closed, waiting for him to explain himself.

He continues, “I mean love as an emotion,
yes, that exists. I love sushi, for instance. But being in love – with one person? No.”

So he’s never been in love. I guess I haven’t really either. But I never doubted it existed. Seeing my parents together – the way my dad was an ass sometimes and my mom was calm and loving with him when I felt like storming to m
y room and slamming to the door –told me there was something deeper at work. Of course I loved my dad, but she was clearly in love with him. They still cuddled on the couch during movies and kissed goodbye every morning. I knew I wanted that someday. I believe in that.

“What about your parents? Are they still married?”

“Ah, no.” He clears his throat. “My mom passed away when I was fourteen. Cancer.” 

“I’m so sorry.” I prop up on my elbow and look at him.

“Thanks.” He offers me a small smile.  “I still miss her. That’s weird, right? I’ve lived much of my life without her.”

“
That’s because you
love
her.” I’m determined to prove love is real.

His lazy smile captures me again, his eyes full of doubt.

I wondered how different I’d be if I’d grown up without my mother. Without her warm lap, her loving hands, her no-nonsense advice that shaped who I am today. No wonder he seemed so hardened. I wondered if he truly didn’t believe in love, or if he just hadn’t felt it in so long, he forgot it existed. It made me sad. 

             
“Just because you haven’t seen it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I don’t get how planes fly, but they do, right?”

“Wise words, Taylor,
” he teases.

Jerk.

Colt raises his arm, inspecting his leather bracelet. The strings are ragged and thin. I can’t imagine it’ll last much longer. He rolls it between his thumb and finger, turning the bracelet around on his wrist.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have
pried about your mom and everything,” I offer.

“No,
it’s okay. No one ever asks me about my mom. It’s like they’re afraid to.”

I nod.

“I’d rather talk about her than pretend like she didn’t exist, like my dad does.”

The cocky, arrogant Colt of earlier who fought to protect me is gone
. This Colt is softer, gentler. It’s hard to keep up with all his sides. But I like this version of him best. I like that he’s trusting me with this side of himself – one I doubt he lets very many people see.

I brave another question. It’s nice to have Colt talking and opening up for once.
“What kind of cancer was it?”

He straightens the pillow under his head.
“Cervical cancer.”

I’m quiet for a second, wondering why Colt is opening up to me so much. “You can sleep up here if you want.”

“Thanks,” he whispers.

“Just stay on your own side.”

“Will do. Night, Taylor.”

“Night.”

He flips off the TV, plunging us into darkness again. Underneath the warm covers, with the sound of Colt’s steady breathing next to me, I fall into a deep sleep, forgetting all about my bruised ribs, the crazy assignment gone wrong and even the kiss between me and Colt earlier, well almost.

Chapter
19

In the morning there’s an awkward moment where I struggle to remember where I am and who the brunette is next to me. Then it comes rushing back. Taylor.
Our assignment. Fleeing our nice hotel for this place yesterday. I run my hands over my face. Between letting Lars get close to her and then that kiss, I’d fucked up big time.

I had no idea what I was thinking kissing her.
But her big blue eyes were looking up at me, then she nuzzled into my chest, begging me to hold on to her, wanting me to protect her. With the smell of sweet vanilla, that lacy pink bra and the wanting in her eyes, I didn’t know what else to do. Something surged up inside me and I answered it the only way I knew how.

I lifted her up to me without thinking. And w
hen my mouth touched hers the softest little feminine sound escaped her lips, driving me crazy with desire. If she made sounds like that from one simple kiss, I imagined what other sounds she would make, from surprise, from pleasure. I’d had to get out of there. Fast. I knew I hadn’t handled it the right way, but was grateful that she’d already forgotten about the kiss by the time her bath was done.

Taylor
’s lying flat on her stomach, her head barely visible with a pillow over the top of it. Her legs are kicked apart, tangled in the sheets at the end of the bed. I slept on top of the blankets, needing that physical barrier between us. One of her hands is resting across my stomach. Her palm is pressed flat against me. Her hand is tiny and soft against my skin. I hold my breath when I realize what her hand is resting near. Not that I can help it, I always have one when I wake up. It’s just physiology.

Regardless, I don’t want to freak her out. I remove her small hand and lay it on the bed
between us. I’m up and within a few seconds, in the bathroom for a shower. 

I let the water warm up while I grab my phone. I’ve missed three calls from McAllister and have two voicemails.
Fuck
. I’d forgotten to call him yesterday, I’d been too wrapped up in making sure Taylor was okay.

I
delete the voicemails without listening to them, and type out a quick text letting him know that Lars found us out, but we’re fine and on our way back. Then I shut my phone down, not wanting to hear what he has to say.

Testing that the water is warm,
I quickly strip down and step into the shower. I close my eyes and think of that kiss again while the hot water streams down on me.

Chapter
20

On the drive back, I’m contemplating everything.
My old life. My new school. The way I can finally use my computer skills to do something useful. McAllister’s shady assignments. The new friends I’ve made. The irritatingly hot Colt. I try to figure what it all adds up to. I’m still torn about if I should stay or go home.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Colt says, pulling me from my thoughts.

“You do?”

He nods, looking straight ahead at the highway. “You’re trying to figure out if you actually want to stay here.
If you can do this.”

I don’t tell him that he’s right. I don’t have to.

“After the first field assignment, that’s pretty normal.”

I want to ask him if he considered leaving too, but I don’t want to give everything I’m thinking away.

“What I saw in you yesterday.” He steals a look at me. “I think you could be great at this.”

“You suck at pep talks.”

He laughs. “Yeah. They’re not my specialty. But seriously, Taylor, don’t give up yet.”

I have no idea why he’d be so concerned with me staying, but it’s nice to hear all the same.
“If I do stay. There’s something I want from you.”

“Name your terms,” he says with a smirk. I can tell he’s enjoying this.

“I don’t want to get my ass kicked again. I was completely defenseless against that guy.”

Colt stops me, holding up his hand. “That was my
fault, I should have never let him get close to you.” His face is sullen. I can tell he blames himself.

“No. If I’m going to do this
, I need to know how to protect myself. I can’t rely on you, or anyone else to be there every time. I’ll need some private lessons.” I look over at him to see if he’s buying this. He nods. “And none of that self-defense basics crap you’re teaching us in class. I mean the real ass kicking stuff. Like what you did to Lars.”

He chuckles. “So you think my class is crap?”

“You know what I mean. I need the real stuff.”

He nods, solemnly. “We’ll start tomorrow.”

“But my ribs,” I interrupt.

“You’re going to
wuss out on me?”

I smile, rolling my eyes. “I’ll be there.”

***

When we get back to the school, I’m too late to make any of my classes, so I opt to lay down in the dorms for a bit. Luckily, they’re empty. I don’t feel like talking to anyone. I don’t know how honest to be with MJ and Logan about how horribly wrong this assignment went. And the last thing I want to do is face McAllister, though part of me would like to grill him about why he’d let a seventeen year old girl go do his dirty work.
Asshole
.

I must have fallen asleep, because a little while later, MJ is sitting on my bed, tickling me into consciousness.
Ouch
. “MJ, no.” I cradle my side. “My ribs.”

She lets out of a string of curse words, momentarily slipping into a language I don’t recognize
, but the tone is unmistakable. “What happened?”

“Let’s just say we
made contact
with the target. And I have the bruises to prove it.” 

“Wow. No shit?”

I nod.

“That’s crazy.”

Yeah. My thoughts exactly.

I fill her in on some of what happened, leaving out the details about Colt drawing me a bath, and kissing me
, for obvious reasons. I didn’t doubt MJ would have no problem pummeling me herself for falling for Colt’s attempts. But she senses part of the story is missing.

“What happened between you and Colt?” She wags her eyebrows.
“Alone in a hotel room for three nights?”

“Nothing happened. He’s still Colt
, but I guess he’s not so bad to work with on assignment.”

“That’s cool.”

I’m relieved she lets it drop. She fills me in on what I missed over the weekend. And I’m surprised to see, it actually feels good to be back.

The next morning, I head down to Colt’s classroom, like we
agreed, to get an early morning workout in before classes began. Only he’s not there. I wait for a few minutes, then wander out into the hall to look for him. Instead I run into McAllister.

“Where’s Colt?” he demands.

“I don’t know. I was looking for him too.”

“
He wasn’t in his room this morning. Doesn’t look like he’s been there at all. As the lead agent on this case, he should have reported in to me last night when you got back.” He turns and paces. “Instead – I get a one line text from him saying things went south.”

My stomach tightens. “Yeah, Lars found out about us.”

“I know that and we’ve been dropped from the case.”

I’m about to apologize for botching the assignment, when I spot Logan heading toward us.
Grateful for the distraction, I wave Logan over.

He strolls up whistling and says good morning.

“There he is,” McAllister says, looking down the hall.

McAllister frowns as Colt
walks toward us, straightening his wrinkled shirt and running his hands through his hair.

“Where’ve you been?”
McAllister questions, no concern in his voice.

Colt glances at me before answering.
“I got a call last night, and then I, uh, I had to leave.”

Logan and I exchange a glance. “You got a call.
Last night. And then you left. And you were gone until just now?” I question.

He nods, looking sheepish.

I shake my head, unable to hide the sarcasm I feel. Logan grins next to me.

“What am I missing?” McAllister asks.

Logan steps forward. “It’s what’s known as a booty call, sir.”

My eyes flick to
Colt’s, wondering if that’s where he’s been. His eyes are cast down at the floor, but he glances up at me through his eyelashes looking…guilty? My chest tightens. It hurts to think about where he’s been. And I’m pissed to discover that it hurts.

Logan continues, completely oblivious to the stinging ache in my chest. “You see, Mr. McAllister when a girl likes a boy…”

McAllister turns, looking from Colt, back to Logan, trying to catch on.

Colt elbows Logan in the side.

Logan shifts back a step, but continues. “A girl may have a bit to drink and begin reminiscing about this boy she likes. She’ll then call him, or if she’s extra classy.” He winks. “She’ll send a text inquiring about…”

“Enough.” Colt steps closer to
Logan, and his proximity is all that’s needed to shut Logan up. No one wants to cross Colt.

McAllister turns to Logan. “You’ve been very informative. But if you’ll please excuse us.”

“Good luck.” Logan says to me before sauntering down the hall.

“You two have some explaining to do.”
McAllister’s eyes fall on us, waiting.

“Bullshit.” Colt steps forward. “You
sent Taylor out too early, and you know it.” Colt grabs my arm. “Come on, Taylor.”

I am stunned by their interaction. I glance back at McAllister, who’s still standing in the hall. “Wait, shouldn’t we…”

“No.” Colt pulls me toward his classroom. “I’m not going to talk with him when he’s just going to blame us for what happened. We did nothing wrong.”

We step into the classroom and Colt flips on the lights.

“So…” I try to ease the heavy silence between us. I can’t help but wonder if spending three nights with me has anything to do with Colt’s pent up sexual needs, and last night’s booty call. I shake the thought from my head. This is how he operates. “What are we going to start with?”

Colt heads to the
desk, and empties his pockets. Wallet, cell phone, keys, loose change, gum. Wow who knew guys carry so much in their pockets. As soon as he sets his phone on the desk it begins to buzz. I glance at the screen.

“Someone named ‘
Yes’
is calling.” I pick up his phone.

He snatches
it from my hand and roughly tosses it in a drawer.

I laugh. “Who’s
Yes
? The girl you were with last night?”

He turns and faces me, giving me the full effect of his eyes on me. I suck in a breath, trying to steady myself.

“I know what you think about me. And the thing is, you’re right. I’m never going to be the guy who’s able to do to the whole monogamous, one girl at a time commitment thing. No thanks. That shit doesn’t work. So yeah, she’s in my phone like that, because she always says yes and doesn’t expect anything else from me. Happy now?” 

I huff out a frustrated breath.
Anytime I start to think there may be a deeper side to Colt, he goes and shows his true self, confirming that without a doubt, he’s an asshole.

“Colt, I will have no problem kicking your ass today, for girls everywhere. So let’s get started.” I turn away from him and head to the center of the room.
My hands are shaking, but I’m grateful at least my voice sounds self-assured, feigning confidence I don’t feel.