In To Blue: Book One Of The Blue Series (15 page)

The cab I called for was waiting outside.   I felt like having a couple of drinks tonight and the drive into Lexington always made me nervous.  I’m more comfortable having someone drive me.  The cab driver takes me to my favorite bar in Lexington.  I rarely went into downtown Lexington anymore.  My dad and I used to go out for a hot brown and a cocktail usually once a week.  I quit doing that after he died.  Tonight I decided tonight would be a good night to go out and have a few drinks.  Not sure why.  Maybe in hopes that it would bring some normality back into my life. 

I walk in to the bar and there were a few open stools in the middle of the bar.  I pulled out a stool and sat down.  “What can I get you miss?  Avery?  I didn’t recognize you.  I haven’t seen you in a long time.”  “I know it has been a while.  How are you Rusty?”  “I am doing great.  Business is booming.  You look amazing by the way.”  “Thanks”  “Avery, what can I get you to drink.”  “The usual.”  I waited to see if he would remember.  “Cranberry vodka coming up.” 

I knew Rusty from high school.  We were friends but never hung out unless we were at school.  After college he went to Bartending School and opened this bar.  It is a popular spot in Lexington. 

“He hands me a drink.”  I go to pay him.  He leans over and whispers.  Your money is no good here tonight.  Drinks are on me.”  He smiles and winks at me.  “Thank you.” I whisper. 

I am beginning to regret my wardrobe decision.  There are a lot more men in here tonight then women and I can feel eyes on me.  I decide to ignore it and enjoy my drink.  I hear my phone bing in my clutch.  It is a text message from Grant. 
Buddy just called me.  Where are you?
 
You shouldn’t be alone
. I was going to ignore him but I know Grant well enough he won’t stop
.  I need some time to myself.  I’m fine.
He texted me again.
Don’t lie to me Avery. I know you better than that.  Buddy told me you were dressed to go out.   So where are you?
  Now he is pissing me off. 
None of your damn business! 
I put the phone back in my clutch. 

I down the rest of my drink.  Rusty brings me another drink and a glass of water.  “Pace yourself Avery.”  “I’m good Rusty.  Thanks.”  A guy walks up and sits down next to me.  I can feel him looking at me.  He doesn’t break his stare.  It quickly becomes annoying.  “What!”  I turn and look at him. It was the guy I punched at the polo match awhile back.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.  I thought that was you.”  “What the fuck do you want?”  I hiss.  “To apologize.”  I almost spit my drink on him. “Avery you ok!”  Rusty walks up to me glaring at the man sitting next to me.  “Yeah Rusty.  Don’t worry he is harmless.”  “She would know.  The first time we met, Avery punched me.”  Rusty laughs.  “You must have deserved it.”  Rusty walks off. 

“I’m Allen.  Allen Whitley and you’re Avery Foster.”  “You are correct.”  “Avery, I want to apologize for my behavior the first time we met.  I was just having a terrible day.  I didn’t meant the things I said about your horse and I am sorry I hurt your horse. I was just angry.”  “Apology accepted Allen, but don’t expect me to apologize for punching you.  You deserved it.”  “Yes I did.” 

“Avery did you come here alone?  “Yes Allen.  I just needed to have some time to myself.”  “With complete strangers Avery?”  I laugh.  “You know to get away from the people you are always around.  It can get suffocating sometimes.”  “I know how that feels.” “So Allen, what do you do when you aren’t trying to play polo?”  I laugh as I’m enjoying my buzz.  It feels good I don’t have a care in my mind.  “Well I’m actually an attorney.  I work here in Lexington.  I would ask you what you do.  It would be the normal procession of the conversation but you are the owner of one of the best horse ranches in Kentucky and the prettiest one too.”  I smile.  “Well Avery I need to get going.  It was nice seeing you and thanks for not hitting me again.”  I laugh.  “Have a nice evening Allen.” 

Rusty brings me another drink as I sip on my water.  “Avery are you hungry?”  “No Rusty, I’m good.”  As Rusty walks away, I become very uneasy when another man sits down next to me.  I knew who it was.  My senses were always in tune when he was around.  It was Reese. 

“I can definitely see why my son is in love with you.”  “Watch it Reese.  You might make me puke.”  He laughs. I can tell he is drunk. “You’re alone.  Are you out here pining over my son being locked away?”  “No.  I’m celebrating that your son is in jail.”  “You’re treading on thin ice Avery.  You better watch it.”  My liquid courage is in full force.  “Well let me get an ice pick and get to work.”  If he is going to sit here and harass me, I’m going to do everything in my power to piss him off.  “Avery, you are testing my patience.”  “Good.”  It’s working. 

“You being here alone makes you an easy target.  It makes you vulnerable.”  “Take your shot Reese.  You have been making threats but that’s all you can do.  I know it and you know it.  You can’t hurt me but I can hurt you.  That is why you feel threatened by me.”
 
Did Rusty put something special in my drin
k
?  Liquid courage is on fire.  Hatred fills his eyes.  He grabs my arm and pulls me toward him.  “Look bitch, Coy has staked his claim on you.  When he gets out, you will be his. You will be a Walker.  You, your ranch, your horses all of it become ours.”  Liquid courage leaves me.  I know in every ounce of my being he could be right. 

All of the sudden someone grabs him and pulls him off the stool.  “You get your fucking hands off of her.” Reese stumbles around attempting to maintain his balance.  “Well, Well, if it isn’t Grant Harrison.  The billionaire backstabbing son of a bitch.” 

“Reese, I think it is time you leave.”  I hear Rusty yell from behind the bar.  Reese walks toward me.  Grant steps right in front of me, keeping Reese at a distance.  He leans over.  Grants frame tenses. “Avery, does he know you have been claimed.  Does Harrison know you fucked Coy?”  I become ill.  I feel as if I could pass out.  Grant knows damn well what that means.  The tears pool in my eyes. Grant takes one look at me and punches Reese.  Rusty jumps the bar and grabs Reese and throws him out.

I immediately run after Rusty.  “Rusty, I’m so sorry.  This is my fault.  Let me pay for any damages.”  “Avery, its fine.  You did nothing wrong.  Reese got what he deserved.”  I walk outside to catch my breath and feel the night air on my skin.  The tears being falling again. 

I feel a hand on my shoulder.  Grant leans over to me.  “Are you all right?”  “I’m fine.  How did you know where I was?”  I feel his hand tense on my shoulder.  “Buddy thought you might be here.” He grabs my hand and pulls me down the side walk to where his driver is waiting.  Before I can argue he puts me in his the car. 

I just sit there and I stare out the window as the driver is taking us back to my house.  My nerves are on edge.  I hate the drive back to my ranch.  Grant watches me intently the entire way back.  The driver drops us off at the front of the house.  Grant grabs my hand and pulls me along as we go to the back of the house.  He walks up to the back patio grabbing a blanket that was lying on a chair. 

He walks over to one of the side by side’s and checks to see if the keys are in it.   “Let’s go”  “Where”  “Damn it Avery!  Just get in!”  I sigh as I climb in.  Grant takes off like a bat out of hell.  “Where are we going?”  He ignores me.  I finally realize he is taking me to the lake.  He pulls the side by side up by the tree and lays the blanket out.  “Sit.”  I carefully sit on the blanket I was definitely not dressed for an outing on my ranch.  Grant kneels down in front of me.  His eyes filled with anger and fear. 

“Avery I’m going to ask you a question and you are going to answer me.  Don’t lie to me.”  I already know the question before he asked it.  “Avery.”  He pauses.  Grant looks as if the words are too painful to say.  “Did Coy rape you?” This is the one conversation I was hoping to avoid.  I can’t avoid it now.  Grant won’t let me.  “No!”  He is furious he stands up and turns around and looks at the lake.  “Don’t fucking lie to me!”  “I’m not.  He didn’t rape me.  I let him.” 

He quickly turns around.  “What!”  I stand up as the tears fall down my cheeks.  “I submitted to him.”  “No!  Avery you did not submit to him!”  “I did!” I put my head down.  “I couldn’t take it anymore the pain from his attacks were too much.”  My voice weakens.  I’m so disgusted with myself. “He wouldn’t stop.  It’s what he wanted.  He wanted to break me down force me into submission and he did.  I safe worded.”  Those words stabbed us both right in the heart. 

“No!  Avery that is not true!  I can’t believe this happened!”  “It’s true Grant.  I wasn’t strong enough to handle the punishment.  I gave up and let him take me.  I couldn’t take it anymore.”  Tears are falling like raindrops from my eyes.  “Avery, you didn’t give yourself to him.  He raped you!  You didn’t consent to the punishment he was giving.  He tortured you to get what he wanted!”  I feel so sick right now and I can’t stop the tears from falling. Feeling weak, I sit back down on the blanket.  

I look up at Grant and he looks shaken.  His eyes are full of pain.  He kneels down.  “Avery you told me before that because of me Coy inflicted more pain on you.  What did you mean by that?”
 
Why did he have to ask me that
?
  I can’t lie to him anymore he will see right through me.  “He saw the marks you left on me.  He was furious.  He said I would pay for that.  He was the only one that could mark me.”  I can’t say anymore for fear of being hysterical. 

Grant stands back up.  I can sense the anger inside of him.  “I wish I had never taken you to my playroom.  None of this would have happened.”  I stand up and walk toward him.  “Stop Grant, this is my fault.  I got what I deserved.”  He turns around and grabs me “No Avery!  You didn’t deserve any of this!  Coy Walker is going to pay for what he has done.  “He is Grant.  That is why he is in jail.”  “It’s not enough Avery.”  I knew he would want to exact revenge and my attempt to steer him off isn’t working.  I need to keep him out of this.  He can’t find out what I am doing. 

“Grant please don’t do anything.  I mean it. I just want to forget all of this happened.  Help me forget.”  He stares into my eyes.  I see all of his anger and pain wash away.  His eyes fill with love.  He leans in and kisses me.  He wraps his arms around me and we both go to our knees on the blanket, never breaking the embrace. 

He releases me and lies me down on the blanket and we begin kissing again.  “Avery, I always want you in my arms.  I don’t want to hurt you.”  “You won’t Grant.  He straddles me as I begin unbuttoning his shirt and I discard it on the blanket.  He slides my dress up over my hips.  He pulls me up to him and pulls the dress up carefully over my head and tosses it on the blanket. 

He leans in kissing me as he puts his hands around me to remove my bra.  He slowly lays me back down on the blanket.  He gently begins kissing my neck making his way down to my breast.  Using his tongue he gently caresses each breast and then drags his tongue down to my stomach.  He runs his hands up along my hips.  He slides body back as he pulls my panties down and throws them on the blanket.  He stands up and kicks off his shoes and socks.  After removing a condom from his pocket, Grant takes off his pants.  He then slides down those tight fitted boxers he always wears.

He kneels back down and just stares at my fully naked body.  I feel vulnerable and my body begins to shake.  Grant looks into my eyes which calms me.  He gently begins kissing my lips as he moves his naked body onto mine.  We are lying face to face.  “I won’t hurt you Avery.”  “I know.”  He kisses me passionately our tongues begin a sweet gentle caress. “Avery I missed you and I have missed this.” 

Running his hand down my body reaching my left thigh, he gently pushes it open.  I slide both of my thighs apart.  I feel his cock pressed against my sex and I moan.  He gently slides his cock inside my core.  I arch my back as my hips flex to meet his thrusting cock.  He feels so good.  “Oh Avery I feel you.”  “Yes Grant.”  He slowly thrust his cock into me deeper as he moans.  “Oh Yes.”  I moan as he is thrusting his cock in and out of my core.  He gently kisses me as I feel an orgasm rising from within.  My skin tingles against his touch.  “Oh Yes Grant!  “Avery!”  His intensity increases as he is reaching his climax.  The orgasm is continually building inside me as the thrust of his cock keeps getting deeper in to my core.  We both start shaking as we climax together. 

Grant rolls over onto his side and removes the condom and lays it on the grass.  I roll over to face him.  He wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer to him. He kisses me.  “It has been too long.  Being away from you has been hell.” He smiles.   

It has been hell without Grant.  Concern sweeps across me.  What if I have made a mistake maybe I shouldn’t have been with Grant.  I got so caught up in my emotions.  I didn’t consider the consequences.  I don’t know if this can work between us.  I could never fulfill his sexual fantasies.  If I deny him that he might hate me for it. 

“Now the last thing I want to see is sadness in that beautiful face.  Avery, what is it?”  “Nothing.  I’m just tired.  We should get back.  I lean up and start getting dressed.”  Grant grabs my arm, pulling me back onto him and kisses me.  “I don’t want this to end.”  I break the kiss.  “We should really get back.”  “I love you Avery.  Grant pauses.  I assume to await my response yet I say nothing.  “Do you love me?”
 
Oh no!  What do I say
?
  Do I tell him the truth?
 
Yes! Grant I love you
!
  I couldn’t find strength to tell Grant the truth.  “I care about you Grant.”  “But you don’t love me?”  “Grant I don’t know.  My feelings are so confusing.”  He looks as if someone has knocked the breath out of him.   “I think you are right Avery.  We should head back.” 

We get dressed and head back to the house.
 
What is wrong with me?  How could I have been so cold to hi
m
?  Why can’t I be honest and see where this takes us?  I know deep down this won’t work. I am not the right woman for Grant.  I walk Grant to his car.  He doesn’t even acknowledge me as he gets into the car. 

I spend the next day trying to focus on the ranch.  My plan to take a break from the business did work out.  I can’t stay away from the business.  Plus it helps me keep my mind off Grant.  I spend most of my time with Buddy and Uncle Rex going over the aspects of the business side of things.  Uncle Rex is going scouting for some horses and we needed to take care of some things before he leaves. 

It is late before I make it to bed.  I realize I left my phone on my dresser this morning and forgot to bring it with me.  Julie texted me just to chat.  Grant texted me asking me to meet him for lunch tomorrow at his hotel at noon.  I text him back agreeing to meet. I’m so tired I drift to sleep. 

I awake the next morning to my phone ringing off the hook.  “Hello!”  “Avery it is Sam.  I need to see you as soon as possible we need to talk.”  “Sam what is it?”  “Avery look just get here as soon as possible.”  “Ok.  I’m on my way.”  I shower quickly and get ready as fast as I can.  I bolt don’t the stairs and out the door so fast, I don’t think anyone even saw me. 

Completely on edge, I tremble as I walk into Sam’s office.  “Sam what is going on?”  “I got a call from one of my sources over at the D.A. office.  Mr. Harrison paid the D.A. a visit yesterday.  “Oh shit!”  “He accused the D.A. of tampering with evidence and that Coy should have been brought up on rape charges.”  “No, this isn’t happening!  What did the D.A. do?”  “He assured Mr. Harrison that there was no evidence to support it and threw him out of his office. 

That is not all.  Mr. Harrison is snooping in too Reese Walker’s business dealings.  Avery if he continues snooping he could stumble on to what we are trying to do.  He probably couldn’t connect it to you but he could still screw this up for you.  I told you he could complicate this situation and he is doing just that!” 

I bury my face into my hands.
 
How could he do this
?
  I’m so angry.
 
How could Grant do this to me
?
  I thought I would be able to trust him again but he keeps proving me wrong.  I am so ashamed and devastated.  “I’ll handle it Sam.  I’ll get Grant out of the picture.”  “I’m sorry Avery.  I know on top of everything else, this was the last thing you needed.”  “It’s ok.  Just keep your ears open and let me know if you find out anything else.”  “Will do.” 

I walk out of Sam’s office filled with pain and anger.  I can’t be with Grant.  I can’t be the one he needs and I can’t trust him.  It’s time to end this for good.  I pick up the phone and call him.  He answers the call quickly.  “I was just about call you.”  Grant says.  “Grant, where are you?”  “Avery, what is wrong.”  “Just tell me where you are?  “I’m in my hotel room.”  “I’m on the way to see you.” 

I make it to the hotel and I text him to find out the room number.  As I ride in the elevator I can’t hold back my tears anymore.  By the time I make it to his room, I’m a complete mess.  He answers the door.  “Avery, what is it?” I walk past him to enter the room.  He shuts the door and turns around to face me. 

“What are you doing Grant?”  “Avery, I don’t understand.”  “I confide in you about a very private and personal matter and you air it out in public.  You had no right to approach the D.A.”  “Avery, how did you know about that?”  “How I know is irrelevant.  How could you do that to me?”  He walks toward me and I step back.  He runs his hands through his hair as anger fills the void in his face.  “Coy got off easy.  He deserves to be punished for what he did to you!”  He snaps.   

“Don’t you dare justify your actions with some heartfelt the guilty should pay bullshit!  I can’t trust you Grant!”  I feel myself crumbling in front of him.  The man I love has broken our trust and it sickens me.  “No! Avery you can trust me.  Please don’t break us apart. I can’t take it.”  “You have managed to do that all on your own.  You want me to trust you but you keep giving me reasons not to.  Besides you and I both know this thing that is going on between us will never work.  I am not the type of woman you desire.  I can’t be a submissive to you and I never will be.” 

“Avery you can trust me. I’m just trying to protect you.  I don’t need you to be a submissive. I need you.  The rest of it doesn’t matter.”  “For how long Grant?  Till you hate me for it.”  “Avery, stop this!”   “This is over.  Grant, I can’t be with you.”  “No! Avery you are running from me.  Please don’t push me away.  I’m sorry.”  “Grant, we are through.  I want you to stay the hell away from me.”  He looks at me as sadness builds within his eyes.  He reaches for me.  “No.” I shove him away and I storm out the door. 

I get back to my truck and throw my purse across the seat.  An envelope falls out of my purse and onto the floor.  I lean over and pick it up.  It’s the envelope Reese gave me.  I was so upset by the exchange I had with Reese I had forgotten about it.  I wipe the tears from my face and I open the envelope.  There is a piece of paper inside that has only four words on it.  “You belong to me.”  I crumble up the paper and shove it back into my purse.  It is amazing how words on a piece of paper can shatter me.  With tears in my eyes, I make my way back home. 

              Buddy is waiting for me when I return.  “I don’t want to hear it Buddy.”  “Avery what is going on with you? Why are you pushing the people that love you away?  “Buddy did you ever consider that the people I love are pushing me away because they won’t let things go?”  “Avery that’s not true.”  “Buddy why are you so Team Grant?  You have never liked anyone I have dated.  Why the sudden change?  “He loves you Avery.  Deep down you love him.

“Avery, I let the love of my life go and I still suffer for it.  I won’t let you make the same mistake.”  I know he is talking about Julie.  He loved her but so did Chance.  He pushed her away because he couldn’t bear to let her choose between them. “Grant and I are over.  End of discussion.”  I run upstairs to my room and breakdown.  I hear my phone ding.  It is a text from Grant. 
If you walk away from us there is no going back.  I won’t let you break my heart again.
I text back. 
I understand.  Goodbye Grant.

∞

During the next few weeks, I work with Sam on getting everything in place.  She hires a business manager for me to handle all of the business transactions for Vendetta, LLC.  Her name is Stella Thomas.  Her background is in real estate brokering and contract negotiations.  She will be the person that signs off on all of my contracts and closings.  I’m glad Sam hired her because we needed to close on the land contract with Reese Walker.  He accepted my offer without thinking twice about.  Stella also convinced Mr. Lewis to sell his business to Vendetta, LLC. 

Stella closed down Mr. Lewis’s feed company and she was approached by Chance to buy out the remaining feed contracts.  Stella made him a heck of a deal.  I’m now in the processes of converting the land in to a small horse ranch.  I am about to go after Reese’s lively hood and will need a ranch for the horses once I put my plan into motion. Stella has no idea that she is working for me.  It is great because there are no loose ends in the event something goes wrong.

Over the past few months, I have been splitting my time between my new company and the ranch.   I decided since I hired Stella I can be more involved in the ranch than I had originally planned.  With racing season coming up I need to make sure Foster Racing is ready.  I haven’t done anything with the land I bought from Reese.  I have every intention of selling it back to Grant.  It is better that I wait before having Stella approach him about selling it. I was afraid it would look suspicious if I sold it to him right away. 

I have missed Grant.  Not a day goes by I don’t think of him.  I wish things could have been different.  I wish I could have been able to trust him.  I loved him.  He gave me the greatest pleasure I have ever experienced.  I was happy with him.
 
Why did he have to ruin what we had?
 
I pour my emotions in to Vendetta, L.L.C.   It takes my mind off Grant.   

My perspective on life is different now.  My world was my horse ranch.  I felt safe and happy because of that ranch.  However, that happiness is gone.  I feel sad and blue all of the time.  Revenge is the only thing that makes me happy.  Till now I never compared the word blue with sadness.  It is my favorite color and my favorite horse.  It also brings me to tears.