In the Shadow of Vengeance (28 page)

He drew Elizabeth into the fold. “It's what I wanted all along but your mom and I thought with me moving in and the new place, we would let you get used to me first.”

Erin hugged him. “We're used to you because you are already family.”

Noah dug into his coat and pulled out a pen. He flipped open the document and signed his name on the highlighted lines, then passed the form to his wife. After her name was added, he placed the forms back into the envelope and handed it to his twin. “I'm a dad,” he said with a wide grin.

“And a damn good one,” Jared responded as the congregation broke out in applause.

Father Anthony and Pastor Lou moved back onto the altar. “So if that is all settled, please rise for the final blessing.”

Danny interrupted him. “Wait. We have one more small thing we would like to do first,” he grinned.

Erin lifted her bouquet and slowly unwrapped what looked like a thick braided necklace with four medallions and handed them to her mother. “We would like these to be added in the blessing.”

“What is this, Erin?” Elizabeth asked, and selected one of the crosses at the end of the gold chains. “It looks familiar.”

“Danny did some research on Evan Nash. That's his family's Celtic cross, and it dates back 300 years. We had Uncle Mac add his special chip like the one in the cross you're wearing. Now, we all have one, and Evan will always be with us, sending help if we need it.”

Danny added, “It's our way of honoring him for bringing us all together. If he didn't seek me out, we wouldn't be a family.” He eyed Noah. “I know you think he's scary as heck, but he's part of all of us.”

Elizabeth slipped an arm around Noah's waist. “Our children are brilliant. We should have thought of this. These are so beautiful. You found the perfect way to honor Evan Nash's memory.”

Noah cleared the tears clogging his throat. He glanced out at his family, his brothers, their wives and children. “In one way or another, he touched all our lives. Without him, none of us would be here.”

He placed an arm around Danny, and Elizabeth circled Erin's waist. Holding the crosses between them, he faced the altar. “I don't know why we fear what we don't understand. A man I have never met taught me the most valuable lesson in my life, the true power of love.” He drew his family close to him. “Father Anthony, Pastor Lou, I think if we could have that final blessing, I'm in serious need of a few minutes alone with my family.”

As the congregation rose, Noah couldn't help offering up a prayer for his angel. He wasn't as scary after all. As he took it all in, another thought struck home. He thought he had had his perfect moment. There was a lifetime of perfect moments waiting for him.

(From
In the Shadow of Pride
by Nancy C. Weeks)

October 2012, Austin, Texas

Just when she thought the day couldn't get any worse, fate stepped in and placed the jerk
in her line of sight.

Special Agent-in-Charge Mac McNeil.

He stood several yards from her, his piercing, hazel eyes locked onto hers. Lexie Trevena stared at the ground, cutting off their connection.

A warm gust of air blew across the cemetery, surrounding her with a hint of freshly mowed grass and the roses from Rico's coffin. The two scents had always brought a smile to her face, but from this day forward, they would yank her back to this place, this moment.

Taking a shaky breath, Lexie peered into the freshly dug grave inches from her. The crowd behind her began to shift, making their way back up the hill toward the line of cars. Her best friends, Cole Guzman and Marcus Aziz, stood behind her. Cole cleared his throat and eased next to her, taking her hand in his.

“You don't have to stay. I—”

“The café can survive a little longer without us,” he interrupted.

“You can't be closed during your busiest time of day. Go. Seriously, I'll be fine.” Finally glancing over Cole's shoulder at the sea of mourners, she planted a fake smile on her face. “I'm just waiting until some of the people leave.”

“We'll take off if you promise to drop by and eat something,” Marcus chimed in.

“Maybe you can just bring me a sandwich at home. I need to be alone for a while. You understand?”

She reached up and kissed Cole on the cheek and repeated the gesture with Marcus. The men's expressions were so easy to read, and their concern touched her heart. They wanted to make this all better. That was impossible.

“If you change your mind, or if you need one of us, just call, Lexie.” Cole tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear then reached for her hand.

“I'll be fine. Go before you make me cry.”

They studied her for several moments. Then, with one more quick hug, they strolled up the hill.

Two groundskeepers stood off to her left waiting patiently to lower the coffin into the ground. The thought of Rico's strong, hard body buried under six feet of Texas clay was hard to digest. As long as she stood rooted to that spot, her nightmare couldn't turn into her reality.

Mac McNeil slowly worked his way through the crowd of mourners toward her. Instinctively, she twisted away from him. Escape. Before she could make a move, a man whose name she couldn't recall blocked her path, placing a hand on her arm.

“Mrs. Trevena …”

“Lexie. My name is Lexie.”

“Lexie, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your husband was a good man, a fine agent. He'll be missed.”

He seemed to want some sort of acknowledgement from her, but she had nothing to give. He finally dropped his hand to his side and left her alone.

He was a good man, a fine agent. He'll be missed.

Meaningless babble, meant to give her a measure of comfort. How was her broken heart supposed to be consoled by a group of strangers? Most of the crowd was there out of respect and had never even met Rico.

Lexie had no idea how to behave, or what to do or say to the people around her. She couldn't focus long enough to reason it out. Grief festered into a pool of staggering anger, sending her emotions into a tailspin. It was all so senseless.

The moment Rico told her he was going back undercover, that voice in her head screamed out,
no, don't leave
―the sense of dread overwhelming. It was as if her heart knew this day would come, but her pleas, arguments, nothing she said kept him from walking out that door.

Out of complete desperation, Lexie had done the unthinkable. She'd stormed into the office of Rico's boss and handler, Mac McNeil, and again she tried reason. Every ounce of her temper came out to play that day. Rico was so furious she had gone to his boss, it took him days before he was calm enough to talk to her.

Now the man who'd ordered Rico into that miserable alley off some nameless street in southeast D.C. stood only a few feet away from her, eyeing her with concern, and probably just waiting for her to go ballistic.

There would be no tantrum today, not here. She refused to break down. Rico might not have known the men and women who stood at his grave, but they came from miles around to honor one of their own, one of the fallen. If they could be here, honoring her husband with such strength and respect, then so could she. She would swallow sob after sob until her throat was bone dry, but not one tear would fall onto her cheeks.

Her husband of only twenty months couldn't be in that oak coffin sitting on the rack. There had to be some mistake.

She hugged her waist as she tried to take control of her emotions. How she wished this horrible day would just evaporate like a bad dream. She could almost hear Rico's deep, teasing laugh. He would call her his drama princess then kiss her senseless, chasing away her fear.

She couldn't stand glued to this spot all day like a statue.
Move
.

Settling her nerves, she took a step back and bumped into a solid wall of man. She didn't need to turn around to know who stood there. Mac McNeil. His hand came at her elbow until she found her footing in the gravel, then he dropped it to his side.

“If you say you're sorry for my loss, I swear I'll give you a nose bleed.”

“Tell me what I can do for you, Lexie.”

“Make this go away. Give me Rico back.”

A wall of silence surrounded them until Mac broke it. “I can give you a ride home.”

“Got a ride. Someone from the protocol office arranged a limo.”

“I'll ride with you, see you home.”

Lexie turned to face Mac. His eyes displayed such sadness and grief. He was hurting. Rico and Mac weren't just colleagues but friends, and in their line of work, that friendship almost made them brothers.

Today, her pain and grief trumped his. Unable to keep the words in her head where they belonged, she whispered, “I hate you, Mac McNeil.”

“I know. Put it aside for now. ”

She scanned the crowd that still mingled. All their eyes were on her, and she couldn't catch her breath. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time her lungs weren't screaming for air. “I can't …”

“What?”

“I can't watch them … I don't want my last memory of Rico to be his coffin lowering into the ground.”

“I'm going to walk you to the car, Lexie.”

Mac placed a hand at her waist, and before she knew what was happening, she was sitting next to him as the limo pulled away from the curb. It wasn't until she was standing at her door that her focus returned.

“What?” she said, staring at Mac.

“I said, give me your key.”

Lexie pulled the keys from her clutch purse. “I'm fine now. You don't have to wait.”

“Just give me the key, Lexie.”

One glance at his tight expression and she handed it over. There wasn't anything left in her to fight with Mac McNeil.

At least it wasn't hard walking back into the condo. Lexie had moved into the place after Rico went back undercover. Their first apartment was only one room and a small bath. Once she'd found this place, she'd set out to furnish it with items she loved, waiting for the day Rico could add his touch to it. But that day never came. Rico had never set foot into their new home.

As she dropped her purse on the kitchen table, the stress in her shoulder muscles eased a little from the familiar sweet scent of pine from the rosemary that grew on her kitchen counter. The tension instantly returned when she glanced behind her at the man who stood in her doorway. How was she going to get rid of Mac?

Her eyes fell on the organized clutter sprawled over half the table. She had been working on a midterm project when Mac showed up at her door five nights ago and told her about Rico.

Her life at the University of Texas seemed like another lifetime. Her dreams for the future, the strong drive to become an engineer, had drained out of her with Rico's death. Exams were a couple of weeks away and she didn't give a damn.

“Thanks for seeing me home,” she tried to dismiss Mac.

“Is there anyone I can call?” His frame continued to block the doorway, but he didn't enter the apartment. “Your parents, family?”

“Rico was my family.”

“And he asked me to look after you.” He took a step into the room. “Rico never mentioned anything about your parents. Maybe I can call—”

“My father was out of the picture before I was born. My mom and I aren't close. The less I see of her, the better.” Lexie brushed her hair from her forehead. “My friends, Marcus and Cole, are working. I have plans to meet up with them later. I know you are trying to help, but right now, all I need is time to myself.”

“I can't leave you alone, Lexie. Rico would have my head. So, tell me, what can I do for you?”

She swallowed another sob, trying to hold on long enough to be alone in her grief. What she should have done was close the door. Instead, her mind reeled with too many questions.

“Tell me how my husband died. What went wrong? You promised me you would have his back.” The space between them seemed to disappear. “How in the hell is
this
having his back?” Before she could stop herself, the anger bottled inside spilled out all over Mac. She shoved both of her hands into his chest, making him stumble backward. “Tell me how I'm supposed to get through the nightmares of Rico dying alone in some filthy alley. And how do I face waking tomorrow knowing I'll never hold Rico, never feel him next to me?” Lexie choked down a sob. “If you can do that, then you're welcome to stay.”

“Rico wasn't alone. I couldn't prevent his death, but I held him until—”

“Where was Jason, his partner? Why didn't he stop it? And don't try feeding me that shit about how you can't discuss details of the investigation. He was my husband and I have the right to know how he really died.”

“Lexie, Jason went down first. Rico lunged in front of him and took a bullet in his chest.”

The image of Rico throwing his life away for his partner was part of the tortured dreams she had for months. She'd screamed until she was hoarse, but no one would listen to her.

She couldn't take pride in the sacrifice he'd made for his partner, the job. Instead, her blood boiled within her veins and she had no idea where to place the anger.

The tears she had held back let loose and she didn't even attempt to stop them. She was going to hate herself in about five minutes, and maybe for a long time to come, but at that moment, she didn't care. “Why do you get to have your brother back, and my Rico is in the ground?”

The room grew still, cold. “Would you rather Jason had died alongside Rico? Would that make this easier?”

Her knees trembled. She moved to the sofa in the middle of the room and dropped down, covering her face with her hands. What happened to being the better person today for Rico? Just thinking about what he would say if he were there made her cringe.

“I didn't mean … Rico considered Jason his brother. That makes him family, my family.” As much as Lexie wanted to avoid facing Mac, she lifted her head and met a pair of cold hazel eyes.