In The Royal Manner (5 page)

HOW TO EAT DIFFICULT FOOD

Impress your friends by tackling awkward and difficult food with confidence and professionalism! I have listed below a selection of notoriously difficult foods and suggest how I might tackle them:

ARTICHOKES Take off the leaves one at a time using your fingers, and dip the fleshy base of each leaf into the sauce provided. Strip off the flesh with your teeth and discard the rest on the edge of your plate. The leaves near the heart have no flesh. Eventually, the centre core will be exposed, then scrape away the ‘thistle’ at the base and eat the rest with a knife and fork.

ASPARAGUS Pick up each spear with your fingers and dip it in the sauce provided. There should be at least two bites before you get to the woody end – do not eat the last 5cm/2in of the stem – place the end of the stem on the side of your plate,
not
the side plate.

CAVIAR & TOAST Using a small knife, lightly cover the end of the toast with caviar. Sometimes, caviar is served in small pots, in which case it should be eaten with a teaspoon.

CHEESE Never cut the tip off a wedge of cheese. Cut along the length, leaving the wedge in a similar shape. Use a hard steel-bladed knife for cutting hard cheese, and a smaller knife for soft cheese.

CORN ON THE COB Not the easiest food to cat in public. Small handles may have been provided at either end of the sweetcorn, thus enabling you to nibble away like a mouse! Otherwise pick up with your fingers. Have a napkin on hand for the dripping butter.

CRAB The meat will have been dressed and replaced in the shell. The claws may be served along with a nutcracker-style tool to crack them open, and a metal pick with which to pull out the meat from within the cavities.

LOBSTER Normally presented to you cut in halt lengthways. The most difficult aspect of eating lobster is extracting the flesh from the claw. You will be provided with the correct implement to do this. It is a messy business, you should also be provided with an extra napkin and a ringer bowl.

MUSSELS Usually you will be presented with a mountain of mussel shells, gaping open to reveal small orangy pieces of meat. Take a large shell and use it like a pair of tweezers to pull out the mussels from their shells. A separate bowl will be provided for the empty shells. You can use a fork if you prefer. Use a spoon to eat the remaining stock.

OYSTERS Squeeze lemon juice over the raw oyster, then use a small fork to detach it from its anchor and ‘drink’ the oyster from its shell.

PRAWNS (WHOLE) Pull off the head, detaching it from its shoulders. Turn over and peel away the shell, removing the egg sac and legs. The tail shell will detach easily and you will be left with the body to eat. A finger bowl and napkin will be provided for you to freshen your fingers.

SOUP Push the spoon away from you and sip from the spoon. Always tip the bowl away from you, and never put the whole spoon in your mouth.

SPAGHETTI Spear a fork into the spaghetti, and twist it round until a ball begins to form. As you eat from the fork, bite off all residual strands, letting them fall back on to the plate – you may want to use a spoon as well to help you.

WHITEBAIT These little fish are cooked whole and eaten just as they are—eyeballs included!

HOW TO EAT FRESH FRUIT

APPLE Cut into quarters, core and peel each piece individually.

BANANA Cut off the ends with your knife, then split the skin and peel it away with your fingers. Cut into small pieces with your dessert knife and fork to eat.

CHERRIES Remove the stalk, eat whole and remove the stone discreetly between your thumb and forefinger.

KIWI FRUIT Split in half widthwise and scoop out the flesh using a teaspoon.

ORANGE Score the skin in a segment fashion and remove the skin. Eat in segments.

PEAR Split in half lengthwise, then quarter, core and peel if necessary. If a pear is particularly ripe, try cutting it in half horizontally and scooping out the flesh with a teaspoon.

Manners and etiquette matter a great deal, and are as important now as they ever were. Here are some more common courtesy hints and tips which you can adapt to different circumstances.

Smoking is widely unfashionable nowadays, so when amongst a group of people, it is polite to ask if anyone objects to you ‘lighting up’, especially when dining. Try to avoid blowing smoke in another person's direction. If you are the host, it is perfectly acceptable for you to object to anyone smoking within the house, and to ask your guests to refrain from doing so.

At the end of a meal, ladies may want to apply a little powder or lipstick. It is appropriate to do this at the table, but major repair works should be carried out in the ladies’ room!

Should you be cornered by a boring person at a party, then the most common excuse would be to ask where the lavatory is, and make a quick exit. Otherwise, you could spot someone in the room you ‘really must speak to’, excuse yourself politely and then leave, or introduce them to someone else before excusing yourself.

A well-known media personality holds the record for the fastest-ever lunch at Kensington Palace. He was entertained and despatched within 60 minutes. His crime? He simply bored the Princess.

Sometimes one-to-one lunches can be rather restricting, so try to include friends among your guests.

I have always been told not to be the last person to leave a party. Unfortunately sometimes it is inevitable. However, it is considered to be good manners to leave while ‘the night is still young’! If someone refuses to leave your party, then could I suggest that you subtly ask them if they would like a drink before they leave, or whether you can order them a taxi.

It is very important to remember to write to your hosts and thank them for inviting you to their party. You will probably be in the minority, but you will stand out from the crowd and make a good impression.

The Princess would often say that people didn't say thank you enough, yet it is those two words which can mean so much. With strict discipline, she would spend hours at her writing table penning thank-you notes for presents, luncheons, dinners and general kindnesses that came her way. These notes would be handwritten and often delivered by hand on the same day. As preparation, before each engagement, the envelope would be written and then placed neatly on her desk to await its contents upon her return.

CARRIAGES

In Elizabethan England, chivalry meant that a gentleman would alight from the carriage first in order to help the ladies by offering them his hand or arm for stability. This tradition, alas, is now long gone, along with a gentleman walking on the roadside to protect his lady from splashing vehicles. However, it is still appropriate to hold a door open for a lady and to forfeit a seat on public transport, although I'll leave this as a personal choice as some ladies may find it condescending and offensive.

GUESTS TO STAY IN YOUR HOME

Attention to detail and a warm welcome are the most important elements when you invite people to stay with you. The information in this section is based on my experiences over many years, and is tried and tested. Although it applies mainly to larger households, you can easily adapt it to your own home.

Always check the guest room before your guests arrive. Check the lighting, a bedside table lamp is essential. Place a few interesting books or magazines for bedtime reading on the table. You would often find a Dick Francis, Jeffrey Archer, Mary Wesley or Catherine Cookson novel at the bedside in a Royal Household. If your guests smoke, then don't forget to provide them with an ashtray.

Make sure that extra blankets are to hand in case your guests get cold in the night. I have slept in many draughty rooms in castles and country houses and I know how unpleasant that can be. It is impossible to sleep once your temperature drops and you start shivering!

Place a small vase of flowers in the room to make it more welcoming and cheery, and a bottle of still mineral water with a glass should be placed in the bathroom. If your guests arc sharing a bathroom, make sure they have adequate towels. If they have their own bathroom, then you could provide soap and bath oils. The Floris range of traditional floral fragrances have been long-time favourites with many members of the Royal Family.

Make sure that there is plenty of toilet tissue in the bathroom and a box of tissues on the dressing table is always very welcome. You may also wish to place a spare toothbrush, toothpaste, disposable razor and cottonwool balls in a small container in the bathroom.

Why not have a special visitors’ book to record your memorable events, especially when your guests stay overnight. It will be a valuable point of reference in years to come and a reminder of enjoyable times like anniversaries, birthdays and other family gatherings. A leather-bound book with the name of the residence or family embossed on the cover would make an ideal gift for any relative or friend who likes to entertain or for a wedding present. Each page can be dedicated to a particular event, with a list of guests who came along, the menu or any other appropriate information. You could then invite your guests to write a few words before they leave, or simply sign their name.

MISHAPS

Inevitably accidents do happen and things gets spilt from time to time. I have always found that the old-fashioned remedies are the best way to deal with common mishaps. Drinks getting knocked over is probably the most common problem at a party, but with prompt action they are easy to deal with:

Beer
– mix a little ammonia in warm, soapy water and dab over the stain. Leave to dry and then wash as usual.

Coffee
– it is important to deal with the stain quickly by soaking in cold water. Then rub with washing detergent and rinse out. You can use a mild bleach solution on white fabrics, but not coloured.

Red wine
– mop stain immediately with an absorbent cloth, then sprinkle on salt and leave for five minutes to absorb wine, then wash as soon as possible.

Tea
– soak in cold water for a few minutes, then in a borax and cold water solution before washing in hot, soapy water.

Dogs and cats
around the home often have accidents. Dog puddles can stain carpets badly. You may find a bottle of soda water and blotting paper or toilet tissue invaluable. Pour the soda water on to the stain and allow time for it to soak into the carpet. Blot away immediately – the gas will help lift the stain from the carpet.

It is also useful to know how to get the marks off your table linen in order to keep it looking pristine each time you use it. Here are some techniques you may find useful:

Butter
– soak up as much of the residue as possible with kitchen paper. Rub some washing detergent into the stain and then wash in hot, soapy water. If the fabric is unwashable, place blotting paper under the stain and dab with a little carbon tetrachloride.

Chocolate
– sponge with borax solution and wash in warm, soapy water.

Egg
– soak in cold, soapy water for a few minutes and wash as normal.

Lipstick
– rub the stain with glycerine and leave for an hour and then wash in very hot, soapy water.

VALETS AND MAIDS

Traditionally in Royal Households and large country homes gentlemen would be allocated a valet and ladies a dresser or ladies’ maid to unpack, press and wash clothes and to attend to their guests’ personal requirements. Couples sharing the same room would be ‘called’ by their maid at a given time with a morning tray of tea, coffee or orange juice accompanied by the traditional Rich Tea or Digestive biscuit.

FLOWERS

It is very satisfying to walk down a country lane lined with flowering hedgerows. The fragrance and spectacle of living colour are very inspirational and uplifting. Flowers can help transform any occasion by setting the scene or by giving a beautiful backdrop.

During my career, I regularly filled rooms with the best-quality and freshest seasonal flowers available. I used to select them personally early each morning at the Covent Garden flower market. Simple glass vases of sweet peas, narcissi, parrot tulips and English roses were particular favourites of the Princess, as were planted baskets of hyacinths, snowdrops, lilies of the valley and primulas. Later in this book, you will find ideas for displays to suit each season in step-by-step guides, making the most of my favourite flowers at the specific time of year. I aim to inspire you with these suggestions and hope that you will create your own displays for your home and dining table.

TIPS FOR LONG-LASTING ARRANGEMENTS

The preparation of flowers and greenery is very important in order to keep them for the longest time possible:

•   For cut flowers, always recut the stem bases at a slant before submerging them in cold water. Stand them in a bucket of water, with cut flower food if possible, ideally overnight, to allow them to refresh before arranging.

•   Woody stems such as roses should be cut on a slant and then crushed with a heavy weight.

•   If you wish your blooms to open quickly, especially tight rosebuds, submerge the whole stems in tepid water for at least an hour.

•   In floral arrangements, always remove leaves from the stems of flowers and greenery which are to be submerged in water.

•   A drop of household bleach and a teaspoon of sugar or cut flower food will help keep the water and flowers fresh. Do not use bleach in conjunction with silver as it will tarnish it badly.