In the Name of Love (26 page)

After her shower, she noticed she had a message on her phone. She half wondered if it might be from Kris, and even though she had written him off, the disappointment was sharp when she found it was from her mother, reminding her that there was a family dinner in two weeks. So, yet another opportunity for Darcy to feel like a loser as her high-flying sisters boasted about their work achievements and settled relationships. Darcy rifled through her bedside cabinet for the bottle of sleeping pills she kept for emergencies. She knew she wasn’t supposed to mix them with alcohol, but the thought of not being able to sleep and re-living the humiliation of Kris turning her down was too much. She took two.

She woke up with a pounding headache and discovered five missed calls and several texts from Kris, all asking her to call him. Well, he could fuck right off! She had been stupid to agree to meet him in the first place; he was obviously just as arrogant as his sister. Darcy wanted nothing more to do with him. Her resolve weakened slightly when she arrived at work and Wendy, one of the receptionists, called her over to tell her she had a delivery. Darcy expected it was most likely a programme insert that had been sent to the wrong place and stood there, arms folded, with a bored expression on her face,
which
disappeared when Wendy handed her a bouquet of exquisite blush pink roses.

‘I didn’t know it was your birthday,’ she commented. The polite description of Wendy was that she prided herself on knowing everything about everyone. The less polite – she was nosy as hell.

‘It isn’t,’ Darcy replied, wondering if it was a make-up gesture from Drew. But when she opened the card she discovered the flowers were from Kris:
I really want to see you again. I thought we were getting on so well last night. Please call me. I have to see you again Kris x

Darcy left it a good couple of hours before she made the call. Kris answered on the first ring. She thanked him for the flowers, knowing that she sounded formal and cold, and was completely disarmed by his immediate and heartfelt reply. ‘I never thought being a gentleman would backfire on me like that. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to spend the night with you, because I did.’ He paused and seemed to be waiting for her to reply. She let him carry on. ‘But I’ve done that so many times in the past. This is going to sound really sappy, but I wanted things to be different with you. I really want to see you again. Is there any chance you could meet me tonight? I know you probably want to be all cool and say no, but I would love it if you said yes.’

Darcy had been planning to say no to whatever he suggested, but he had won her over. However, she felt she needed to keep the upper hand, so even though she was free, she told him she couldn’t meet
him
until Sunday night. And while she relished the feeling of control it gave her, as soon as she’d said it, she wished she hadn’t left it so long.

Charlie couldn’t help noticing that Kris seemed much happier. She put it down to the fact that he was finally adjusting to his freedom and feeling more optimistic about his future. It was a relief because Felipe was flying over on Saturday night and she had been dreading that her brother was going to continue being morose and monosyllabic. But Kris told her that he was looking forward to meeting Felipe and agreed to go out for dinner with them, along with Zoe and Nathan, which seemed like a huge step forward.

Felipe had said that he would go straight to the restaurant, but Charlie couldn’t resist meeting him at the airport. She watched him stride through arrivals and her stomach somersaulted with excitement, longing and lust. He seemed just as thrilled to see her and swept her into his arms, kissing her passionately. And right at that moment she wished they were going back to her flat and not having dinner. It had been two long weeks. All she felt like doing was falling into bed with him. It was obviously what Felipe was thinking as well, as he murmured, ‘Are you sure we can’t skip dinner?’

‘I would feel bad about letting everyone down,’ Charlie replied.

‘What about keeping me waiting?’ he demanded. ‘I have needs.’ He lowered his voice. ‘Pressing needs.’ His
arms
were round her waist and she could feel exactly how pressing those needs were.

‘Me as well,’ she replied. ‘But it will be all the sweeter.’

Kris, Nathan and Zoe were already installed at a table in the cosy Italian restaurant in Soho when they arrived.

‘Ah, my favourite match-maker!’ Felipe exclaimed, warmly embracing Zoe.

‘Yep, I’ll be sending you an invoice for my services!’ she teased back. ‘You two caused me and Luis no end of trouble.’ She pointed at her forehead, ‘I think you’ve given me a new frown line.’

‘Hah! You loved every minute of it!’ Charlie interjected.

Zoe introduced Nathan and Felipe shook hands with the footballer. ‘That’s quite a woman you’ve got there,’ Felipe told him.

‘The same thing back to you, mate,’ Nathan replied.

‘And this is my brother Kris,’ Charlie put in.

‘It’s so good to meet you,’ Felipe told him, and slightly startled Kris when he shook his hand and then gave him two kisses on the cheek.

‘It’s a Spanish thing,’ Charlie told her twin.

Introductions over with, they all settled down to order. Charlie loved how easily Felipe got on with her brother and Nathan.

‘So, Kris, you have to give me all the dirt on Charlie. What was she like when she was growing up? I bet she bossed you around.’

‘Cheek!’ Charlie exclaimed.

Kris shook his head. ‘Nope, we’ve always got on well,
even
when we were teenagers.’ He grinned at his sister. ‘This is going to sound so corny but she’s always been there for me. Totally solid.’ He left a pause. ‘But until she met you she had the worst taste in men.’

Charlie punched him on the arm. It didn’t stop Kris from revealing her roll-call of shame, starting with Liam, the first boy she properly went out with at the age of fifteen, who was appallingly vain and obsessed with his hair. He had a more meaningful relationship with his Lynx hair gel than he did with Charlie. Then there was Simon, who couldn’t make up his mind to do anything unless his mates were involved and who pulled out of a holiday to Corfu with Charlie at the last minute because his mates were going to Ibiza. She dumped him and had a much better time with Zoe.

‘What about Finlay the vet? He was sweet and he was very good with animals,’ Charlie had to defend herself. In fact, although Finlay had been very good-looking and owned an adorable Golden Retriever, he was Dullsville and a great disappointment in bed. No staying power at all … talk about blink and you missed it.

‘Sweet? I don’t know if I like the sound of him,’ Felipe put in.

‘Don’t be jealous,’ Kris told him. ‘He was the most boring guy I’ve ever met and Charlie thought so too, which is why she finished with him on her birthday. The poor guy had booked a table at some flash restaurant and bought her expensive perfume!’

‘Seriously? That was harsh!’

Charlie grimaced. ‘I know, it was really bad, but I
just
couldn’t face going out on a romantic dinner with him and making forced conversation.’

‘And you said you didn’t want to make
lurve
with him again.’ That from Zoe. ‘Even if it did only last forty-five seconds.’ She turned to Felipe. ‘She timed him.’

God! Talk about being under the spotlight.

Felipe couldn’t stop grinning on hearing about Finlay’s lack of prowess.

‘And then there was Aaron.’ As soon as he said the name, Kris realised he had gone too far.

‘Let’s leave it there,’ Charlie said quietly.

‘Sorry.’

Felipe put his arm round her. ‘I think we should all now confess our worst-ever relationship. I’ll start. It was with Dolores. We were both thirteen, but the truth is I only asked her out because I wanted to get close to her big sister, Salma, who was fifteen. I would go round to their house and hang out round the pool and well, stare at Salma in her bikini. She had an incredible body.’ He was actually looking quite wistful at the memory of the bodylicious Salma.

‘You little pervert!’ Charlie exclaimed.

‘Yes, that’s exactly what Salma and her friends shouted when they caught me and my friends spying on them sunbathing topless.’

Everyone laughed and carried on swapping stories of their early romances. It was the kind of night out Charlie had never had with TFB, who didn’t get on with any of her friends and would sit there looking bored or texting. In contrast Felipe was warm and charming to everyone. He was bloody gorgeous and
she
adored him! But she couldn’t help noticing that everyone avoided the topic of what he actually did for a living, including Kris. It was as if one part of Felipe’s life was a complete no-go area. And Charlie knew that this wasn’t right. She tried to push the thought away; she had to be hopeful that soon this wouldn’t be the case otherwise what future could they have together?

Just before the desserts arrived she quickly nipped to the bathroom. When she returned to the table, she overheard Zoe saying excitedly, ‘But, Felipe, that is such great news, we have to celebrate!’

And she saw her boyfriend shake his head.

‘Celebrate what?’ Charlie asked, taking her seat. She suddenly realised how awkward everyone looked. No one would meet her gaze. ‘Seriously, what is it? You have to tell me.’

Felipe put his arm round her. ‘I found out yesterday that I have qualified to be part of the Olympic team.’

And he felt that he couldn’t tell her! Charlie felt terrible, just terrible. ‘That is fantastic, I’m so proud of you, Felipe.’ She hugged and kissed him, willing the distress not to show on her face. ‘Now let’s get some champagne!’

Once or twice she caught Zoe looking at her with concern, obviously wondering how Felipe’s news had affected her, but Charlie just smiled back. After tomorrow she wouldn’t be seeing him for three weeks as he was taking part in two European eventing competitions, one in Portugal and one in Germany, and she didn’t want anything to ruin their time together.

Kris tactfully went straight to his room when they
returned
to the flat, saying that he was going to watch a film.

Felipe waited until Kris was safely out of the way before he said, ‘I was going to tell you about the Olympics. I wanted to wait until we were alone, but Zoe asked me and I didn’t want to lie. I’m sorry it came out like that.’

‘It’s the best news ever. I know what it means to you.’

He looked serious. ‘Do you think you might be able to come and watch me compete? I know it’s tough for you, and I completely understand if you cannot.’

There it was, the question she had been dreading. Summoning every ounce of strength she possessed, Charlie replied, ‘Of course I will. I’ll be completely over the riding thing by then, I know it.’

He hesitated, already guessing her response, but felt he had to say it anyway. ‘Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have a course of therapy first?’

She shook her head. ‘No, I’ve told you, I can do it.’

He smiled at her. ‘My brave girl, I believe you can do anything.’

How Charlie wanted to believe him, but the anxious thoughts were already forming. He put his arms around her and kissed her, a deep passionate kiss, and Charlie tried to submerge herself in the moment, in the desire that burned through her …

Felipe broke off to murmur, ‘I have to have you now.’ His hands skimmed over her breasts … how she wanted him.

‘I feel the same,’ she said breathlessly.

‘Come on then,’ he replied, taking her hand and leading her to the bedroom, ‘What are we waiting for?’

Their passionate love-making was a brilliant distraction, blocking out thoughts of everything else, and they both lost themselves in the moment and in the sheer intensity of their feelings for each other. But afterwards, as they lay in each other’s arms, a tangle of hot limbs, Charlie found herself thinking once again of Felipe’s big news. The fact was that nothing seemed to have diminished her phobia about riding. She kept thinking it would get easier, but it hadn’t happened. Her first feeling when he’d mentioned the Olympics wasn’t one of elation for him, it was fear that he would expect her to go. She hated herself for what she felt was weakness. She should be thrilled for him; she should be looking forward to what would be the sporting event of a lifetime.

She turned round and kissed his neck, loving the smell of him mingled with his aftershave.

‘Happy?’ he asked, gently tracing the outline of her lips.

‘Very,’ she replied.

But at 4 a.m. she woke up drenched in sweat and shaking from a terrifying nightmare, to find Felipe’s arms around her. ‘Hey, baby,’ he stroked her back. ‘What’s the matter? You were crying out in your sleep.’

Charlie struggled to surface from the dream – the nightmare images were all from the accident. Ace writhing in agony, bright red blood spilling out from his horrific injuries, covering the rider who seemed to
be
lying lifeless on the road. She had woken up at the moment she realised the rider was her. She couldn’t tell Felipe the truth and taint his amazing news.

‘It was only a bad dream … one I’ve had since I was a child. A huge tidal wave is about to break and I’m standing on the beach and can’t move.’ It had been a recurrent nightmare, that much was true. And Felipe seemed to believe her.

‘Poor Charlie, can I get you anything?’

‘No, just hold me.’

He quickly fell back to sleep but Charlie was awake for ages, wondering how on earth she would fulfil her promise to watch him compete.

Felipe was flying back early afternoon, so they only had time to go out for a quick breakfast the following morning at a brasserie near Charlie’s flat.

‘What do you usually do on a Sunday?’ he asked, tucking in to his Eggs Benedict while Charlie picked at her croissant. She still felt haunted by the nightmare.

‘Go to the gym, chores, shopping, see Zoe. I used to go …’ she hesitated ‘… I used to go riding. And then when I stopped, I couldn’t bear not doing anything. The weekend became these dark days I had to fill with activity.’ She gazed at Felipe. ‘Tell me the truth, is it very hard not being able to talk to me about riding?’