In the Line of Duty: First Responders, Book 2 (6 page)

“Are you trying to convince me you’re some sort of therapy service?”

“Of course not. But my clientele aren’t all alcoholics and wife beaters either. Though I’m guessing that might be your experience.”

Something froze inside her. He was too close. Way too close.

He held up a hand. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to pry. Maybe I just wanted to say my piece.”

“Why does my opinion matter?”

He took a sip of tea. “It shouldn’t. But then there’s this…”

“This what?” Her heart started clubbing so loudly she could hear it in her ears over the cry of the seagulls.

“This…what happened in the water.”

Her appetite was suddenly the last thing on her mind. She was so confused. She wanted to believe him. It would be so much easier if she could loosen up and accept what he said. But it was hard. She’d struggled for so long. She’d carried hate around for so long it was a habit that was hard to let go.

“There’s something going on here,” he said. “I’m not sure what it is, but I can’t get it off my mind. I’ve tried. God knows, you’re not the easiest person I could find myself attracted to.”

Just like that, her blood pressure went zinging upward. He’d come right out and said it—he was attracted. The crazy thing was, she was too.

“Is that why you brought me here rather than the public beach?”

“What if I said yes?”

Kendra’s body was so tense now she felt like a string ready to be plucked. What if he said yes? What if he wanted her, desired her? Was she prepared for that? It’s not like she had a world of sexual experience to draw upon.

But wasn’t it time? And Jake wasn’t a commitment kind of guy. He’d said so himself. He’d brought her somewhere private, somewhere that their every move wouldn’t be noticed or commented on. It would be discreet. And maybe it would satisfy this strange craving that seemed to overtake her whenever they were together.

Could she have a fling? Was that even possible for a girl like her?

Because certainly a fling was all Jake was offering.

Chapter Four

Could I possibly analyze things more?
Kendra closed her eyes briefly. “I’m a cop,” she breathed. “I can’t be reckless, Jake. I can’t…”

She opened her eyes and saw Jake put the dishes—still half-full of food—carefully into the cooler. “W…what are you doing?”

“Getting these out of the way.”

His voice had gone all deep and rich and goose bumps erupted over her skin. She should tell him she wasn’t finished, that she wanted to go, that they couldn’t do this. Instead, all she could do was watch, utterly fascinated, as he moved the cooler aside, slid over on his towel next to her and rested on his elbow. With his free hand, he brushed her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear, so incredibly tender she forgot how to breathe.

“Jake,” she whispered, and then bit down on her lip. Oh my God, this was so wrong. She knew it and chose to ignore it. The curiosity, the fascination won out. The way he rested on his side made his muscles shift as he twisted slightly at the waist. She was on a private beach, in a bathing suit, with a man who looked like someone out of one of those men’s fitness magazines. Maybe she should run like her hair was on fire. But wouldn’t she kick herself for it in the morning? It wasn’t often such an opportunity came her way.

“You are so beautiful, do you know that?”

It was almost painful to swallow around the lump in her throat. She’d never been beautiful. She’d been…plain. A wallflower. “You don’t have to say that,” she replied a little breathlessly. She wasn’t very good at this seduction thing at all.

He smiled. “It’s even better that you don’t realize it,” he said, running his fingers over a few strands of hair before tracing the shell-like curve of her ear. “You’ve got terrific hair, you know. I had no idea it was this curly.” A piece twined around his finger and he gently tugged, pulling her an inch closer. “You always wear it in that silly braid and hide it under your cap. It’s a sin.”

“Jake…”

But he carried on as if he hadn’t heard her, his gaze following his finger as he slipped it out of her hair and grazed her shoulder, slid it down to her elbow. “Your skin is so soft. And your body…”

His gaze clashed with hers and the hazel-green irises glowed at her. “Your body is rockin’,” he decreed. “I have a soft spot for the athletic type. Or maybe it’s not so soft at all.”

He traced his finger tip down her collarbone, down the valley of her breasts until he was stopped by the slick fabric of her suit. “Loosen up, Kendra. You’re tense.”

I’m jacked up.
The words raced through her mind but she kept them inside. His seductive voice and very talented hands had her so turned on she was losing all perspective. Right now they were loosening the knot at the nape of her neck and she had no inclination to stop him at all.

The fabric fell away and he tugged on it, sliding the top down over her ribs and revealing her breasts. There was something exciting and dangerous about having them exposed—to the sun, to his gaze. To his hands. Her eyes slammed closed as he touched her, dipped his head and pulled a taut nipple into his mouth.

She fell back on the towel, her arms unwilling to hold her up any longer. She felt Jake smile against the sensitive skin of her breast, his lips and cheek warm against the pale skin still cool from the sea water. It felt so good. It had been too long since she’d felt this way. She wasn’t sure she’d ever felt this desired. Or if she’d ever wanted anyone so much in return. He seemed to know exactly what to do to make her body sing, and she gave herself over to the sensation. Just this once. There was no one to see. No one to care. It was like they were in their own little bubble, hidden away from the world by the sheltering cove and warm sand.

His hand slipped down inside her bathing suit bottoms, cupping her firmly, his fingers finding her slick and ready. He slid his tongue up her neck, leaving a wet trail behind that sent shivers over her whole body. His mouth met hers—hot and demanding, just like his fingers as they played, making her arch against him.

A sound vibrated from his throat and she felt the delectable hum of it on her lips. Finally, she couldn’t hold back anymore. She reached out and slid her hand over the firm muscles of his chest, over the tiny pebbled nipples, down the V of his pelvis to his shorts. She slipped her hand over the fabric and grasped him through it, thrilling at the feel of him hard against her palm.

Anticipation shifted to abandon as they used their hands to pleasure each other. Kendra planted her feet, feeling the sand squeeze between her toes as she lifted. For a few moments, Jake’s fingers stopped their teasing as he pulled the fabric down over her legs. She realized with a bit of alarm that other than a scrap of material around her waist, she was naked. It wasn’t that much of a stretch to think that someone could come walking up the sandy beach at any moment. They needed to stop. Oh God, they needed to stop.

And then his fingers found her again, freer this time without the restriction of her suit, and she lost all train of thought as she drowned in the sensation.

The tightness in her pelvis throbbed, building unbearably until an orgasm rocketed through her body. The roar of the breakers swallowed her cry as she pushed against Jake’s hand and his mouth closed over her breast. The pulsing eased and she lay limply on the beach towel, her hand thrown over her eyes, completely and utterly and perfectly sated.

“Jesus,” Jake said, and she slid her arm away to look up at him. His eyes were wide, and he dipped his head and kissed her lightly, first on the lips, then on her chest, and finally, a brief contact on the curls between her legs.

“What about you?” she asked. Now that she was catching her breath again, she was acutely aware of the bulge in Jake’s shorts.

“I never thought…” He smiled the crooked smile that hit her square in the chest every time she saw it. “I didn’t bring anything. It’s okay.”

She shouldn’t be disappointed, right? What had happened had been fantastic, but it wasn’t quite full-on sex. It wasn’t…him inside her. Not that way. It was different. And probably a step too far.

So she shouldn’t be disappointed. And yet she was.

He retrieved the bottom of her bathing suit and chuckled as he shook out the sand. “This is going to chafe if I don’t rinse it out,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

She pulled up her top and re-tied it as he went to the water. She watched his form the whole way. He was so beautifully built, muscled and tapered and perfect. To her surprise, he waded out to his thighs and then dove under. When he came back her bottoms were dripping but sand free.

He shook his head, spraying droplets of water. “That’s better.”

“It is?”

“Today’s equivalent of a cold shower,” he replied with a laugh. “Here. Hold out your legs and we’ll get these back on.”

It took some work as the wet fabric rolled and bunched, but with a final tug it was back in place.

He straightened his towel and plopped down on it. Kendra examined the nail polish on her toes rather than look at him. What had come over her? She’d been stretched out naked, out of doors, pliant in Jake’s arms and she’d….

She’d come apart right in his hands. Embarrassment crept in, uneasy and hot. She’d been out of control. And what was worse, she’d liked it.

“Kendra?”

She looked up at him, incredibly self-conscious.

“You get shy all of a sudden?”

She blushed. The heat rose in her cheeks and even the tips of her ears got hot. “I, uh…”

That was it. That was the sum total of her brilliant response.

He smiled. “Don’t worry. It’ll be our little secret.”

She swallowed past what felt like the beginnings of a case of heartburn. “That’s just it, Jake. I don’t want to have secrets with you.”

He frowned. “Look, I’m not the kiss-and-tell type. It doesn’t have to be any bigger than that, okay?” He spun on the towel and stared out to sea.

“I…I never meant that you were,” she stammered. “This is just…”

“Complicated?”

She let out a breath. It wasn’t the word she’d been thinking of, but it worked. “Yes. And a one-off, right? I mean neither of us is looking for… I mean, we don’t even really like each other.”

Why couldn’t she put the right words together? That sounded so harsh, when truthfully she liked him far more than she cared to admit. Why was it so hard to say the words
sex
and
relationship
? You’d think she was back in junior high or something.

His scowl deepened. “You’re right, of course. Let’s face it, I live in a tiny apartment above a bar and I’m a messed-up soldier. Not exactly take-home-to-Mom material, right?”

The words stung unbelievably. As if she’d ever be taking anyone home to Mom. She absorbed the pain. “I never said that, Jake. It’s more to do with me—”

“The cop and the bar owner?”

She blinked. For a convenient stretch of time, she’d forgotten what he did. He’d even put a sunny spin on it as they’d talked earlier. In some ways she knew he was right. But in others, she knew that for every responsible drinker there were more who weren’t. “No. The daughter of an alcoholic and a bar owner.”

The last thing she’d wanted to see on Jake’s face was sympathy and understanding, but there they were. “That explains it,” he murmured. “The wine earlier… You really don’t drink at all, do you?”

She shook her head. “No.”

He chuckled. “That’s actually pretty funny, because I only brought it because I thought you might like it. I don’t drink either.”

“You what?” She stared at him. “But you own a pub. That doesn’t make sense.”

“It’s okay for someone who can handle it,” he remarked. “That wasn’t me anymore, so I decided I was done. I’m not against the odd drink. It’s just a choice I made. I had a toast the day I opened the place, and I haven’t had one since.”

She didn’t think there was anything he could have said that would have surprised her more than that. “Why?”

He looked away and shrugged. “I was using it to forget about my problems, but then I realized that when I stopped the problems were still there. It really wasn’t a very effective strategy.”

How she wished her mother had been strong enough to come to the same conclusion. Her respect for Jake slid up a few notches.

“I’m sorry about your dad. It must have been hard on you.”

She didn’t correct his assumption that it had been her dad who’d been the addict. And hard didn’t begin to cover it. She’d spent a good portion of her childhood alone, missing her father horribly, waiting for her mother to come home. Then the terrible dread when the key turned in the lock, wondering what sort of shape her mother would be in. Then there was the moving from place to place, the cheap apartments, the lack of food in the cupboard because Mom had either forgotten or had no money left for groceries.

And there was the remembering. Perhaps it wouldn’t have been so hard if that life was all she’d known. But Kendra had remembered a time when she’d had a dad, and a sober mom, and a house and food and love and support.

It had been one thing to bare her body to Jake today, but it was another to bare her soul. So she shrugged and merely said, “Yeah, it was hard.”