In the Line of Duty (10 page)

He let the dog out and went with him into the backyard, needing a few minutes of space to mull everything over. Another thing. The very nature of his business meant he’d be gone a lot, often in places where there was no cell phone reception. Callie needed someone who could be around for her, for the kids, all the time. A true partner. She deserved nothing less. Matt wasn’t sure how to be that, if he could. Or even if he wanted to be.

He shoved it all out of his mind and whistled for Aldo. He wasn’t getting anywhere close to resolving this problem simply by turning it over and over in his mind. He’d let it go for now.

* * *

“Matt, you’ve got a visitor,” Marley said, popping into his office. Her eyes were shining and she looked smug as she leaned forward and whispered, “It’s Callie! Matt, she’s so cute!”

Matt inwardly cringed. He’d mentioned to Brice he’d invited Callie and her kids to stay, and regretted it right away, because of course Brice had to go and tell Marley, who was over the moon with joy for all the wrong reasons.

“Don’t let her hear you say that,” he warned, and Marley gave him a little smile with big eyes. He sighed. He wasn’t fooled by her innocence. This woman was a force to be reckoned with.

He followed her out into the main office area. It wasn’t the kind that people often came to, since so much of their business took place out of town, even out of state. Because of this, there weren’t comfy chairs or anything that went in a regular reception area.

“Callie,” he said, spotting her examining a beautiful action photo of white-water rafters on the Menominee River with clear concern. “What brings you here?”

She spun around and the worried look on her face faded away. There was a fleeting glimpse of pleasure when she spotted him, but it left so fast he wasn’t sure he’d seen it. “Matt. Sorry to bother you,” she added. “I left the house key on the kitchen counter this morning. I need to get in and pick up something I forgot.”

Marley stepped around Matt, apparently giving up on his manners. “Hi, Callie. I’m Marley, Brice’s wife and Matt’s old friend.” Unperturbed by his sigh, she flashed her a brilliant smile.

“Hi, Marley.” Callie extended her hand and they shook.

“Don’t worry, he’s all bark, no bite,” Marley said, in that charming way she had of interfering, but making it impossible to be angry with her. “I’ll let you two chat.” And she was gone almost as fast as she’d come in.

“I like her,” Callie said to him, and he nodded.

“Most people do.”

Her brow quirked and humor flashed in her eyes. “Just most?”

He huffed out a sigh. “She’s a great person, just a little interfering. She means well.” Marley didn’t see that just because she and Brice were happily married, it wasn’t necessarily the right path for everyone. It sure wasn’t for him. “So. You want to head back and I’ll let you in?”

Callie turned a little pink. “I’m really sorry. I don’t want to bother you.”

“No bother. Hang on.” He went in the back to let Brice know he’d be gone for a bit, and ignored Marley’s innocent remark about there being no reason to hurry. Back in the main area, he found Callie examining another photo, this one of a mountain biker.

“Great pics, aren’t they?” he asked as he came up behind her. “That one is Brice, actually. The white-water one is from a trip in the Upper Peninsula we took last time I was home. It was that trip that set us on this path, actually. What do you think?”

“I think it looks extremely dangerous,” Callie said quietly, and his stomach dropped. Of course she would think so. He already knew she was risk averse. Seeing hard evidence of what he did wasn’t going to win points with her, even though she’d enjoyed stuff like that once, herself.

“It is,” he agreed, thinking it was probably best to confront her concerns head-on rather than dance around them. “You’ve been white-water rafting. You know what it’s like. But we minimize as much of the danger as possible. It’s always risky, but we’re never reckless.” There was a huge difference, to his mind. Risks were calculated and planned for and mitigated. “Reckless” was charging ahead with no thought to the consequences. And they never, ever did that.

“I can’t afford to take any chances anymore,” she said as she walked ahead of him out the door. “And as far as I can tell, there’s no difference between risky and reckless. Both are going forward and saying to hell with the consequences.”

He wasn’t going to argue with her, but her words and slightly bitter tone bothered him. “I’m sorry you feel that way,” was all he said. He could not be involved with a woman who wouldn’t accept this very core part of who he was. He loved the rush and yes, the edge of danger, but would never put himself or another person into danger knowingly. He wasn’t stupid. But realizing she had major issues about how Jason had died, while working in a dangerous job he loved, Matt didn’t know if he could help her move past it.

She gave a little shrug and got in her van, waiting to follow him back to the house. He wondered if he could show her what they did, on a small scale. Maybe it would help her to see that some slight measure of risk was okay. She didn’t have to go all-in, but perhaps she could begin to see that there was nothing wrong with taking calculated risks, especially if you thought everything through beforehand. But maybe it wasn’t his call. On the other hand, what would Jason want her to do? Want Matt to do? He wouldn’t want her to hide away from life forever, that was for sure. Maybe he owed it to his friend to help her not be so afraid.

Otherwise, how could she ever move forward?

CHAPTER TEN

“I’
M
SORRY
,
C
ALLIE
, it’s going to be a few more days.” Bill’s tone the next day was apologetic, but rushed. “There’s some water damage to the attic. It won’t take long, but it will add some time, on top of the roof delay.”

Her heart sank right down to her toes. Oh, no. “It’s okay, Bill, don’t worry about it,” she said, keeping her voice cheerful. What was a few more days of living in Matt’s house?

Besides torture?

She was a big girl. She could handle it.

Bill explained that some of the supplies needed had been delayed, but he hoped to have them late next week. Callie hung up, grateful she’d taken the call in her van as she was going on her lunch hour. She needed to figure out what they were going to do now. It didn’t seem right to ask Matt if they could stay another week or so.

Frustration coursed through her. She wasn’t upset with Bill; he’d rushed her job to the forefront of his busy schedule, and she was grateful. Delays like this weren’t in his control. No, it was the whole situation that had her on edge.

The kids were due home this evening, so she hurried back to Matt’s. There wasn’t much she could do for them, other than roll out their sleeping bags and arrange a few of their favorite toys to make it seem cozier. Maybe it was enough to help it feel like an adventure for them. Who was she kidding? They’d be fine. Frankly, the novelty of living with Aldo was enough to keep them happy.

Her cell rang again as she was pulling into the grocery store for a couple boxes of the boys’ favorite cereals. It was Maureen.

“Hi, Callie. Bill told us the news about the supplies,” she said. “Do you want to come here until it’s all done? Instead of us bringing the boys back tonight?”

“Ah.” Callie’s first instinct was to say yes. Get away from Matt, from the feelings. But it really wasn’t practical to stay with her in-laws; she needed to be closer to home and work. “No. Thanks, though. We’ll be okay for now. I like being able to see what’s going on over there. Plus it’s closer to the salon.”

“That’s fine, of course,” Maureen said. “Whatever works best for you. Just keep us in mind, in case things change. Is everything okay at Matt’s?”

Hmm. This was a trick question, so Callie chose her words carefully. “Oh, absolutely fine. He’s been very generous. It’s just a lot to ask of him, to take us all in for so long.” Not to mention all the weird tensions and vibes, and pretending they weren’t attracted to each other, had them both on edge. But that was no topic for a discussion with her mother-in-law. “So I’ll talk to him tonight.”

“I understand. He’s a good man, Callie. Okay, well, the kids are eager to see you. So we’ll meet you later.”

They confirmed the details and hung up. Callie ran her errands and got back to the salon in time for her next appointment. A walk-in, as it turned out. Marley.

The woman lit up when she saw her, even as Callie’s heart sank just a little bit. Marley had made no secret of the fact that she viewed Callie as a potential girlfriend for Matt. Finding her here today was almost too much.

Still, she returned the other woman’s smile. It was impossible not to. There was no hint of prurient curiosity in her eyes. Callie suspected that with Marley, what you saw was what you got, and she seemed generous and kind.

“So what do you need done today?” Callie asked, hoping that maybe they could keep the conversation off Matt.

“A trim. My old stylist moved to California, and I’m in the market for a new one. I’ve heard good things about Time For You, so I thought I’d try here first.” Marley’s smile was open, and Callie felt bad about suspecting the other woman had ulterior motives in being here. “I didn’t know you worked here, if that’s what you were thinking.”

“Ah. I wondered,” she admitted as she hooked the cape around her new client’s shoulders. Because if Marley was going to be honest with her, she deserved it in return.

“Nope. It’s a nice surprise. So.” Marley lifted her short blond locks with her fingers. “It’s about an inch too long. I’ve been busy and haven’t gotten to it. Plus, like I said, I was abandoned by my longtime stylist.” Her quick grin showed she had no hard feelings.

“All right. Let’s see what we can do.” Callie listened as she explained what she liked and why, then led her to the sinks for a shampoo.

They chatted as she washed Marley’s hair and set her up for the cut. Since her attention would be on her actions, not making eye contact, she decided to ask her a couple questions.

Not about Matt. That seemed like an invasion of his privacy. And fodder if Marley was considering matchmaking, which seemed likely.

“What made you become a guide?” she asked as she lined up her comb and scissors. The question seemed fairly safe, and she really was curious as to why someone would choose that as a profession, rather than a hobby, and marry someone who did it as well.

“I love the outdoors,” Marley said simply. “Love how, on a tour, every day is different, even when we take multiple tours to the same place over time. It’s never the same trip twice. I love the people. It’s just a big thrill. I’m very blessed to be able to do what I love.”

“Isn’t it awfully dangerous?” Callie couldn’t help the question. She couldn’t quite wrap her mind around it.

Marley met her eyes in the mirror. Hers were a deep blue and very serious. “Yes, it can be. And there’s a certain amount of risk in what we do, just by its nature. But we take every possible precaution and are never careless. Brice and Matt would fire anyone in a heartbeat if they were. But yeah, things can happen.” She gave a little shrug. “Things can happen anywhere, even at home.”

Callie understood that—look what had happened to her home! But what she didn’t get was why people would put themselves in harm’s way willingly. Even with all precautions taken, there was no guarantee it would all work out okay. She needed that guarantee for her boys. For herself.

“You should let Matt take you on a small trip,” Marley said, and Callie nearly dropped her comb.

“Oh, I don’t think so,” she said with a laugh. “I’ve got little kids.”

Marley frowned. “What does that have to do with it?”

“Well, I can’t be irresponsible and take chances that might hurt them,” Callie said bluntly. “They’ve lost their dad already. I can’t—I can’t take the chance of something happening to me, too.”

Marley’s face softened. “I know. I’m so sorry. Matt told me.” She paused and Callie could see her weighing her next words. “But I guess I don’t see how a small trip—maybe kayaking or something, or a bike ride, something local—is taking a serious chance with your life. You find your ability level and your comfort level and push just a little past them. You might surprise yourself.”

Callie’s comfort level was absolute zero with regards to risk. She’d lost too much to it already. “I don’t know.”

“Think about it.” Marley met her eyes again. “I think it’d be good for him, too.”

Callie thought over Marley’s words the rest of the day. She really didn’t have the time, inclination or money to take a trip, local or not. Yet despite her fear, there was a small part of her that remembered the girl she used to be. Before Jason had been killed in that fire rescuing a colleague. Before she got so afraid. She’d set that part of her aside, deciding at some point there was no room for that person anymore, now that she was a parent. A single parent. Fully responsible for two little boys.

She just wasn’t sure she could afford to be that girl ever again.

* * *

Matt came home to an empty house, then remembered Callie was meeting the Marshalls to pick up the boys. It’d be loud and boisterous again soon enough. Funny how two little boys could seem like twice as many—or more.

Oddly enough, he was looking forward to it.

Even though he’d been, by nature of his job and temperament, someone who was fine being alone, he was starting to wonder if it was overrated. Sure, it was nice being responsible for only himself, and now Aldo, too. But yet—Matt wanted more, even though he hadn’t realized it up till now.

He wasn’t sure how much more. Or if it included a brown-eyed widow and her kids. All the noise and mess and uncertainty that came with being part of a family, being a parent. He didn’t know if he had enough to offer them, especially being gone so often with his new job. He’d planned on staying more or less single. It seemed easier—no real risk for him in terms of his heart. In that way, he supposed he and Callie were similar. If he wanted to pick up and go, he could. Nothing was really tethering him down. He could hand in his notice—it was a month-to-month lease on this house—pack up and leave. Easy.

Except, despite everything, he was putting down roots. He’d made emotional commitments, to Callie and her boys. To Brice and Marley and the other employees. Matt liked having neighbors who waved when he pulled in his driveway, who said hello when he passed them while walking Aldo. This was a far cry from the stark, empty life he’d lived since Trina had left him. Not because he’d loved her. No, because he’d thought she was right when she’d accused him of not being able to take care of anyone else other than himself. He’d accepted that life as normal, until Aldo had come into it. Now Callie and her boys—Jason’s boys—had turned it upside down, and he was starting to see things differently.

Would Jason want Matt to be with Callie? They’d joked for years about his single state, about how he would most likely be single forever. It would be the height of irony if Matt and Callie did get together, after all. He didn’t know if Jason would have approved or run him out of town.

There was no way to know. He didn’t want to overstep his boundaries, but if there was even a tiny chance with Callie, should he take it?

Marley had come back and told him she’d gotten her hair cut by Callie. She’d kept mum on the conversations they’d had, only to say she’d enjoyed it and loved the cut, and would be back. Matt hadn’t seen any way to press, and was a little annoyed he’d wanted to know more about what Callie had said. Marley’s smug look had been enough to keep his mouth shut. But she had suggested he put together a little day trip for Callie and him. While he’d been noncommittal at the time, now he wondered if she wasn’t onto something. It might be a way to help Callie see how careful he really was. That it was okay for her to loosen up a little and maybe have some fun.

Because it mattered. He couldn’t fully say why, but it did. He didn’t want to see the shadows in her eyes when she talked about his work. He didn’t want her to get upset looking at pictures. He wanted her to understand what drove him. Even if she ultimately decided it was too much for her, he wanted the chance.

Then he’d feel he’d done his best by Jason, done what he could to help her. The rest was up to her, when—or even if—she was ready.

* * *

“Mama!” Eli and Liam’s excited shrieks brought tears to Callie’s eyes. She opened her arms and pulled them close, feeling their warmth and smelling their sweet little-boy smells.

“Hi, guys,” she said, her throat tight. She planted kisses on their faces. “I missed you.”

Predictably, both wiggled loose after pressing against her for just a heartbeat longer than usual. She let them go and stood up.

Maureen pulled her in for a hug. “Good to see you, honey. Everything going okay?”

“As well as it can be, considering,” Callie said, then added, “Just ready for it to be over. Matt’s place is very nice, but I miss our house.”

“I understand. Bill feels bad about the delay.”

She shrugged. “I know, but it’s not his fault. It’ll get done. These things happen.” She smiled. “Thanks so much for taking these guys. I know how much they love it.”

Joe stepped up at that and gave her a hug, too, “It’s mutual. Anytime, Callie. We love having them, and we’d love to have you, too. We retirees are happy for the distraction.”

She was so grateful to have these two so close to her. They’d all leaned on each other in those dark days after Jason’s death. It didn’t replace having her own mother nearby, but was a pretty close second.

“So, would you like us to take them on the weekend? So you can get some more work done?” Maureen asked.

Callie hesitated. She hated to give the boys back again. Even for a couple days. She’d see how they all did at Matt’s. “I’ll let you know when I’ve got a better idea. Soon.”

“You can call us on Saturday if need be,” Joe said. “We know this is a tricky situation. Tell Matt hello for us. Love to see that boy again.”

Shame trickled though her as she agreed to pass on the message. Not because it was the wrong thing to do, but because of the kisses. And the dreams. She felt even more guilty as she stood here with her in-laws.

Maureen and Joe hugged the boys, transferred gear, and Callie got them loaded up into her own van. Of course, the conversation centered on Matt and Aldo. While she’d expected the dog to be a prime topic of conversation, it unnerved her to have them so excited to see Matt, too. She didn’t want them bonding, yet it seemed to have happened anyway. In fact, they were clearly past bonding and well on the way to hero-worshiping him.

She tried to shift the conversation to other topics, but it kept drifting back around to Matt. By the time she pulled into the driveway, she was sincerely wishing she had accepted Maureen’s offer to stay with them, despite the inconvenience. So they’d be away from the man that held so much sway over her little boys after such a short time.

Matt was in the living room with Aldo when the kids burst in, Callie close on their heels. “I’m sorry,” she said, meeting his humor-filled gaze. “They really missed Aldo. And you, too, apparently.”

Matt opened his arms and hugged them both, and they squealed and laughed loudly. Then they set about petting the dog, who rolled right over on his back and practically groaned with pleasure.

Matt watched it all with amusement, but Callie couldn’t help feeling concerned. When he turned to her, she said casually, “I’m going to get their things. Since they are clearly not going anywhere.”

Matt chuckled and the warm sound filled her with longing. “I’d say you’re right. Can I get it for you? You can stay here with them.”