In The Garden Of Stones (44 page)

He tilts
his head back, looking down his nose at her. “Oh aye. Fit ye din
this time?”

“
Promise.”

Another
turn of the wheels, another foot forward. “Not til ye tell me fit
yer up ta.”

She
widens the gap again, drops her bag onto his bed, shrugs out of her
coat. “Are you up to … another visitor?”

“
That would depend on who it is. If it’s the wee quine from
the paper with the big titties, then aye–”

“
Sorry. No tits.” Grace pulls open the door and motions for
the man standing outside to come in. When he sees who it is,
Colin’s mouth drops open and he looks as if he’s been slapped in
the face with a wet turbot.

Lucas
McLeod gives his brother a nervous little wave. “Hey Col. How’re ya
doin’?”

“
I think I can find my own way out,” says Lucas McLeod,
looking up and down the corridor. “Although–”

“
Down there, through the double doors, turn right,” says
Grace. “It is a bit of a maze until you get used to it.”

“
Thanks.”

“
Thank you for coming, Lucas. I know it wasn’t a pleasant
experience for you. Colin didn’t say as much, but I think he really
appreciated your effort … as do I.”

“
Aye.” Lucas looks at his shoes. “I’m glad I came. It’s been
nowhere as bad as I thought it would be. I’d let my imagination
take over. I thought he’d be more … broken.”

“
You should have seen him four months ago. He looked like
death on a cracker. He’s coming along much better now.”

“
Thanks to you.”

“
Thanks to everyone, but especially thanks to himself. He
had to take the first step himself, no pun intended. Once he did–”
She smiles. “It’s not been plain sailing by any means, but he’s
making progress. Slow and steady wins the race.”

“
Aye.” Lucas McLeod shifts from foot to foot. “Do you think
he’ll let me come again? Bring him some magazines or books or
something?”

“
As long as it’s not porn. Don’t want to get him too
excited.”

Lucas
laughs. It’s the first time Grace has seen him smile properly, and
he looks even more like his brother.

“
Maybe they’ll let me take him out,” he says. “To the fitba
perhaps?”

“
I think he will be more than delighted to see you again,
and going out would be a wonderful thing. Contact with, and
encouragement from family, is very important in the recovery
process, in connecting with normal life again. I know that sounds
trite, like I’m quoting from an information brochure, but it’s
absolutely true.”

“
Aye. I can see. Thank you for all you’ve done for him, Miss
Dove.”

“
Call me Grace, please.”

“
Aye, Grace. You are practically family after all. Well,
cheerio, Grace. Keep in touch.” He puts out his hand for her to
shake. Instead, she pecks a kiss to his cheek.

“
I will.”

She sees
him on his way and returns to Colin’s room.

“
Can I have ma kiss now?”

Colin’s
face is pale and drawn. He’s had a nasty shock and looks as if he
is about to buckle under the strain of holding the emotion in.
Grace kisses him, deep and intense and reassuring.

“
Thanks,” he says, “I needed that.”

He puts
his hands around her waist, pulls her close and rests his head
between her breasts.

“
Are you angry with me for bringing Lucas?” Grace asks,
kissing and stroking his hair.

“
No. I–”

Colin
breaks away from her, turns his chair and pushes himself over to
the window. Grace gives him the moment he needs, before draping her
arms around his neck and nuzzling the soft spot behind his
ear.

He
sniffs and wipes a hand over his eyes, clears his throat, and when
he speaks, his voice is thick and wet.

“
All these years I’ve been hating Lucas,” he says. “I’ve
been stuck on what he was like when he was younger; the firstborn,
Dad’s golden boy, spoiled rotten, a bully. Only three years older
than me, but he made my life a misery. Always the best at
everything, taking all the glory, making sure I always knew I was
second best. He was the heir and I was the spare. That’s why I left
home at seventeen and joined the Army, to git away, to be ma ain
man. That’s why we’ve hardly spoken to each other in mair’n twenty
years. Last time was at Da’s funeral, six years ago, and that was
only because we had to, for Ma’s sake.”

“
If you felt that way about him, why did you nominate him as
next of kin?”

“
Didn’t have a choice. There was naeb’dy else. I couldn’t
ask Ma, she wouldn’t understand. She’d see it as putting a jinx on,
like taking responsibility would make something happen, ye
ken?”

“
I think so.”

He pats
his lap and Grace sits, arms around his neck, his hands at her
waist.

“
Lucas is my only other living blood relative,” he says,
drawing in a breath and exhaling out a deep juddering sigh. “Seeing
him again out of the blue like that, it was a shock, but I think we
might have reconnected. He’s different, changed, matured into a
pretty decent bloke. I always thought he didn’t give a fuck about
me being … like this, but you were right, he did. Did ye ken he’s
been ringing up every other week to check on me?”

“
Yes. He told me.”

“
And the reason he wouldn’t come was because he was too
scared to, no because he didn’t care?”

“
I told
you
that.”

“
Aye, ye did, and I didn’t believe you. I should have known
you wouldn’t lie to me.”

“
Nobody has ever lied to you, Colin. They may have told some
harsh home truths that you didn’t like, but nobody lied. Everyone
only ever had your best interests at heart. The only one who had
any doubts was you.”

“
Aye. I can see that now.” He takes her hands from his neck,
clasps them between his own. “Thank you, for believing in me, for
giving my life…and my brother, back to me.”

Chapter 43

Their
visits to the imaginary gardens and the peace and quiet of the
private cemetery grow less frequent as they find comfort and
pleasure in each other’s physical company.

Grace’s
trips out to Pelham at least three times a week. On several
occasions she is accompanied by Lucas McLeod, and she delights in
seeing Colin and his brother slowly reconstructing their fractured
relationship, laughing and joking together, prattling on about the
football or some item they have seen on the news, both adopting an
impenetrable teuchter drawl so thick she could stand on
it.

On those
occasions she sits on Colin’s bed and either watches television or
reads a magazine, or if they choose to have coffee and cake in the
restaurant, she takes refuge in a story on her Kindle and lets them
get on with it, always keeping one eye and one ear open for signs
of disquiet, discomfort or distress from which Colin might need to
be rescued.

These
too are few and far between.

Under
supervision of the nursing staff, Grace learns how to use the hoist
and how to help Colin in and out of his wheelchair to sit in a
chair, or get in and out of bed.

She is
allowed to sit in when he has his physical or hydro therapy,
sending waves of encouragement from the sidelines, and becomes a
familiar figure around the complex as she pushes him around the
gardens or up and down the driveway. She learns quickly, soon able
to take care of his needs, although on Colin’s instructions she is
not yet permitted to tend to certain aspects of his intimate
care.

“
It’s not like you’ve got anything I haven’t seen before,”
she whispers in Colin’s ear. “You’ve got nothing to be shy
of.”

He
blushes, harrumphs and wheels himself to the bathroom, closing the
door behind him.

“
You know, if you ever want to stay overnight,” Simon Gibbs
says as he straightens the sheets on Colin’s rumpled bed. “Just let
me know and I’ll clear it for you.”

“
Really?”

“
Sure. We do it all the time. Some guys even have their kids
stay. We have family rooms especially for the purpose.”

Grace
smiles warmly at him. “This really is an amazing place, and you
Simon are an amazing man.”

She
presses a soft kiss to his cheek, feeling a flush of heat race
across his face, and smiles inwardly. How easily it seems she can
make a grown man blush.

“
Elephant?”

“
Nah. Hippo.”

“
What about a dragon?”

“
More like a whale.”

Grace
flips herself onto her front, tired of cloud watching. She has
something important she needs to talk to Colin about and a school
of fluffy white cloud dolphins swimming through the cobalt sky over
the immaculate lawn of their fantasy garden are too
distracting.

She nips the head off a daisy and plucks off the
petals.
He
loves me, he loves me not.

“
I think it’s time,” she says.

Colin
drapes his arm over his eyes, blocking out the sky. “Ye said ye
weren’t gain ta push it.”

“
I’m not pushing. I’m just stating a fact.”

Silence.

“
He’s brilliant, and once you get to know him, you’ll like
him. He’s been really good for me. He’ll help you, but he won’t do
anything unless
you
ask him.”

Silence.

“
Do you want me to get in touch with him? Arrange an
appointment.”

“
Can’t it wait a bit longer?”

Grace
moves his arm and looks into his eyes. “You’re ready now, you know
you are. Put it off and you might miss the boat. You need to do it
now. Strike while the iron is hot.”

“
Ye sure?”

“
Positive.”

“
Can I sleep on it?”

“
One night. That’s all. We’ll do it first thing in the
morning.”

“
Will you be there to hold my hand?”

“
Do you need me to?”

“
Please.”

She
kisses the tip of his nose. “Good job I brought my overnight bag
then.”

Simon
Gibbs makes his last call of the evening before he goes off duty,
and after a warning knock, pops his head around the door of room
28.

“
Captain McLeod? Anything you need before I go home, sir,”
he calls out.

No
reply.

He
pushes the door open and eases his way into the room to see Grace
and Colin lying together on the bed. They look like they are asleep
in each others arms, but Gibbs is already used to Grace’s strange
ways and knows what’s going on and where they really are. He knows
their bodies are here, but they aren’t in them.

“
Doesn’t look like you need anything from me,” he says,
putting the keys to Colin’s drugs cabinet back in his pocket. He
unfolds a lightweight blanket from the bottom of the bed and drapes
it over them.

“
Sweet dreams,” he says, and leaves them to whatever they
are doing together in their shared fantasy world.

Ten
o’clock next morning and Colin and Grace are enjoying coffee and
rowies in Pelham Chase’s volunteer staffed snack bar. Grace has her
mobile phone clamped to her ear. On the fourth ring, it is
answered.

“
Malcolm Pettit.”

“
Hey Mal, it’s Grace,” she says, brightly.

“
Hey, Grace. How are you?”

“
I’m absolutely fine, thanks. Listen, have you got a
minute?”

“
For you? Sure. What’s up?”

“
I have someone here who would like to speak to
you.”

She
passes the phone to Colin. He takes it, holds it to his chest while
he clears his throat, sucks in a deep breath and closes his
eyes.

“
Hello. Dr Pettit?” he says. “Grace might have mentioned me.
My name is Colin McLeod.”

Grace
smiles, filled with pride at the massive step Colin has just
taken.

Grace
turns from the rain lashed window as Colin wheels himself out of
the private consulting room and into the corridor. He’s been in
there for over an hour and a half, and he looks
shattered.

“
How was it?” she asks, keen to hear news of his first
session with Malcolm Pettit.

“
You were right,” Colin says. “He seems like a grand bloke.
I got the sense he really cared.”

“
He does. You look tired.”

“
I am. It was … stressful, but in a good way.” He smiles
weakly. “I fancy a cup of tea and a slice of cake. Would you care
to accompany me to the tea room, Miss Dove?”

“
It would be my pleasure, Captain McLeod. Let me speak to
Mal first. I want to thank him for coming.”