In the Fire (5 page)

Chapter Eight

Jamie

I snapped my mouth shut as I watched Lily snake her arm around Ethan’s waist and nuzzle his neck. This night had sped straight past shitty and directly into Hell from the moment Ethan had walked through the doors of the bar. When I saw Ethan pull back and take a fresh drink out of Lily’s hands, I pulled my jacket tighter around my chest and tried to look anywhere except for the quickly vanishing liquid in Ethan’s glass. I had to say something.

“Goddammit, Ethan. Slow down. No one needs to see an award recipient act like this.”

I shifted my eyes to his date’s, pleading with her to be the responsible one and cut him off before he did any serious damage to his reputation and career.

She nodded and snatched the glass out of his hand. “Take it easy, Ethan. If you barf on my new Louboutins you’ll owe me two new pairs.”

My frustration increased as I watched his body sway. Why should I care Ethan was on a self-destructive downward spiral, when he obviously didn’t care about anything but himself? His new girlfriend could take care of him just as easily as I could. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, Trevor wandered out onto the terrace. I bit back a curse wondering how on earth we’d all gotten to this point.

He joined my side and handed me a new drink, his eyes narrowed on Ethan. “Well, looks like someone’s been hitting the minibar. Maybe you should try AA next.”

Even I winced as Ethan whipped his head around and an angry sound rumbled out of his chest.
Shit.

“Screw you, Trustfund,” he bit out. “Not everyone can handle slumming it alongside the Richie Riches of the world without a chaser to wash it all down.”
Yep
,
there is the Ethan I knew.

“Ethan, that’s enough. I’m sure Trevor didn’t mean it like that.”

“Go ahead. Choose him over me again.”

Before I could even respond, Trevor moved closer to me, which only made Ethan’s eyes narrow with speculation as he noticed my manager’s proximity.

“Interesting choice of words when you’re the one who insists on making everything personal.” Trevor’s voice rose in amusement. “No wonder everyone leaves you, Martin. You’re an embarrassment.”

Lily let out a low whistle. “Well, boys. This has certainly been fun. But I’m lacking the proper equipment for this conversation. I’m off to find a testosterone-free place to get my food on. Thanks for the dinner and show, Ethan. You still have your card key to Le Parker Meridien? Or did you lose it along with your tie?”

Ethan dug in his pocket and pulled out a card key as he stared at her in confusion. Lily placed a loud smacking kiss on Ethan’s cheek as I stared at her, incredulous. She kept her lips close to Ethan’s cheek, but her eyes were trained on me. What kind of girlfriend left her obviously intoxicated and belligerent asshole of a partner alone in public?

“I’ll make sure he gets back to the hotel.” The words left my mouth of their own volition, and both Ethan and Trev stared at me in surprise.

I just barely caught Lily’s devious smile as she kissed Ethan’s cheek one last time, gently this time instead of the loud, showy one she’d previously laid on him. “I bet you will.” She winked at me. Her footsteps echoed as she left the terrace and the tense standoff between the three of us.

Once she was gone, I turned to face Ethan again. He was leaning against the railing of the terrace, but even with the support behind him, it was obvious the liquor had finally hit its mark. “Come on, Ethan. Let’s get your somewhere you can sleep this off. When you’re sober, we can talk.”

“Are you serious? This guy is plowed off his ass. You haven’t talked to him in god knows how long, and you’re offering to take care of him? He’s been nothing but belligerent. Who knows what he might do if you’re alone with him.”

I wasn’t in the mood for Trevor’s dramatics. Ethan may have been annoying and drunk but he’d never hurt me physically. “Trevor, please. Just leave. I can handle this.”

“No, Jamie. I don’t trust him. Just let security take this trash out. He’s not your responsibility anymore.”

A cold chill ran down my spine as my anger ratcheted up another notch. This was between Ethan and me. It was definitely not how I’d envisioned my night going, but this was my situation to handle and he should have known better than to push me. “You may be my manager and friend, but stay the hell out of this.”

Trevor’s wounded look at my words should have registered on some other level than simply annoying me. But right now I was too pissed at both him and Ethan to care.

Ethan smirked and flipped Trev the bird. His look was one hundred percent triumph and despite my anger, I had to shake my head at his need to get the last word. Vintage asshole Ethan.

“For the love of god, Ethan. Stop acting like an asshole before you make more of a mess here.” I needed to get us off the damn terrace and out of this cold before someone threw a punch. I nudged Trev toward the door as I set the glass in Ethan’s hand down on the table near the railing.

I don’t know if I was expecting more of a fight from him, but for once Trevor surprised me. Without another word, he shot me a disgusted look before he stalked off and left me alone with Ethan. Ethan’s attitude seemed to die down, and he watched me with weary acceptance. He looked like shit. Bleary eyed and sloppy, with his collar unbuttoned, and along the way he’d lost his tie. Dark marks under his eyes. I closed the distance between us and tugged his jacket to get him away from the railing.

“Come with me.”

He gave me a toothy grin. “I bet you say that to all the guys.”

“You are such a dick.”

“Yeah. I am.”

I gestured for him to follow me. Through the ballroom and hallways to the elevator, he kept quiet, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Mouthy Ethan had been infuriating, but expected. This silent version of Ethan unnerved me, and I wasn’t sure what to think about his quiet acceptance after all the simmering anger.

When he finally noticed we were nowhere near the front doors and a taxi, he slurred, “Where’re you takin’ me?”

I shoved him into the elevator when the doors slid open, then jabbed the button for my floor before anyone from the awards ceremony could join us and witness his embarrassing behavior. “To my room. Now shut up and stop pissing me off before I lose all my patience with you and dump your ass off at the curb to find your way back to your own hotel.”

He laughed, the sound low and bitter. “Congratulations on finding your balls, Jamie Lassiter.”

I wondered what the sentence for murder was in New York.

When the elevator doors slid open, I fisted my hand in Ethan’s shirt and tugged him behind me. He followed unsteadily, bumping into my back when I stopped in front of my door. As soon as I got my card in the reader, I pushed open the door, dragged Ethan into the bathroom, shoved him inside, then turned the cold water on full blast.

“Don’t drown, jackass,” I bit out as he sputtered under the water and sat down hard on his ass in the shower. I took my time grabbing clothes for him out of the small bag I’d brought with me. Ethan was broader in the shoulders but we were the same height so everything would fit.

When I reentered the bathroom, my rage disappeared when I found Ethan still sitting under the spray in his ruined tux, his head resting on his knees. When I shut off the water and he tipped his head back, I could see the misery I felt echoed in his expression. Instead of satisfaction, I only felt an aching sadness in my chest. He looked lost and alone like I’d felt after I’d left him the first time for Paris. Angry Ethan I could deal with. Vulnerable Ethan was too much. When he let down his guard like this it pushed aside all my good judgment.

Ethan’s complete lack of control over his body almost made it impossible for me to help him out of the shower. Silently, I unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off his shoulders. As I worked quickly to get off the rest of his clothing, I convinced myself the shivers now wracking his body had everything to do with the cold air hitting his wet skin and nothing to do with my touch. As he stood before me in only wet boxer briefs, I grabbed a towel and gently wiped as much of the water from his skin as I could. His small moan when I brusquely towel-dried his hair and he leaned into my touch, made parts of me ache in ways they hadn’t for eight long years.

I tossed the towel aside and handed him the sweats and T-shirt, not wanting to face a fully naked Ethan Martin. I turned to give him privacy to dress but stayed in the bathroom with him, telling myself over and over again it was because I needed to be close if he fell and hurt himself.

I closed my eyes anyway as I tried not to picture Ethan’s inked wet skin and the way it had felt against my fingertips. It had been years, but I still remembered the sounds he’d made when I’d traced every single inch of his body with my lips.

I froze when his arms looped around my waist, pulling me back against the solid length of his body. When his lips brushed a kiss over my neck, I knew he felt me stiffen against him.

“Ethan, what are you doing?”

His reply came out soft and slurred. “Just ’memberin’.”

“Ethan, this really isn’t a good idea.”

“Your body disagrees.” His palms flattened against my stomach. Slowly they rubbed lower until his thumbs touched my now-aching erection, which strained against the fabric of my tux pants and boxers.

Guilt and longing overrode my better judgment as I leaned into Ethan. It had been forever since we’d touched like this. His fingers fumbled as he tried to unbuckle my belt, slowly pulling the leather free once he mastered the buckle. The sound of him slowly unzipping my pants echoed in the quiet bathroom.

“You feel so good,” he mumbled.

I nodded, lost in sensation. The length of his body against mine, the heat, his scent. Everything. He wrapped his fingers around my dick, his calloused hand roughly stroking as he dragged his teeth up the side of my neck.

When his teeth grazed my earlobe and nipped it sharply, I shuddered, pleasure and pain flooding my body. Only he made me this mindless. I gasped as his strokes grew firmer, thumb rubbing along the underside of my cock as he urged me on, the sound of his voice pushing me higher. Our bodies remembered this, how it felt to lose ourselves in each other.

Ethan’s low voice was almost unrecognizable as he growled in my ear, “Open your eyes, Jamie. Look at how sexy you look right now.”

When I raised my head from his shoulder, my eyes lazily blinked open. In the mirror I could see Ethan, nearly naked and wrapped around me. The erotic contrast of so much bare skin against my almost fully clothed body as he watched us in the mirror sent need flooding through my system. Ethan’s hand sped up, his touch growing rough as I arched into him.

I barely heard his next words. “I missed you.”

The longing in his voice pushed me over the edge. My breathing hitched as I cried out, and I arched into his hand as I came. The feeling made my knees buckle and I sagged back against his body.

When my breathing finally evened out, I turned in his arms. The movement must have overbalanced him. Ethan stumbled backward. His eyes were still unfocused and bleary as he leaned hard against the glass shower door. Guilt tugged at me as he visibly fought a wave of dizziness. I hastily tugged up my pants and reached out to help him. He batted away my hands and took a deep breath as he closed his eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just need to sit down.”

Confused as hell at what had just happened, I helped him tug off his soaking wet boxer briefs. As efficiently as I could after what had just happened, I pulled the sweats up his body and handed him the T-shirt. I looked away to give him a semblance of privacy, until he made a pained sound of frustration as he wrestled with the shirt. I covered his hands with mine to stop the frantic flail of his arms, and looked him directly in the eyes as I gently pulled the shirt over his head.

I wrapped one arm around his waist and led him out of the bathroom to the sofa in the sitting area of my room. The silence grew heavy around us and I kept my mouth shut, too afraid and needy to break the moment.

When we made it to the sofa I nudged him to sit. Instead, he turned to face me. Even intoxicated, the way Ethan looked at me now, heavy-lidded eyes tinged with heat, was the way I’d remembered him. No anger, no accusations, no bitterness, just a hint of
my
Ethan. But he wasn’t my Ethan anymore, was he?

When he slid his hands up my arms to cup my face I should have moved. I should have told him no. But I didn’t. Instead my heart warred with my mind over what was right and what I had dreamed of since we said our last goodbyes all those years ago. This was the reason I couldn’t stay with anyone. No one but Ethan had ever made me feel alive like this.

I watched with shock as he leaned in close and brushed his lips over mine. A sigh escaped him as his fingers curled against my skin. Overwhelmed by how good he felt against me, I closed my eyes and breathed him in.

When I parted my lips, Ethan’s tongue brushed against mine and my resistance broke. My fingers tightened against the fabric of his borrowed T-shirt, pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss. I startled when a hint of metal brushed my tongue, knowing I’d discovered a new piercing.

Ethan’s low groan echoed mine and I turned my head, kissing him deeper. Passion warred with possessive need as he responded, both of us vying for dominance as we each tried to control the kiss. This was too much. With a pained sound, I pulled back, my breath uneven as I rested my forehead against his. As good as this felt, it was too much to digest after too much time had passed, coupled with alcohol and bad judgment.

“You need to sleep.”

He nodded and I stepped back and grabbed a blanket from the closet, nudging him to lie on the couch. I spread it over him and Ethan’s eyes finally closed as his body sank against the cushions. When I straightened up to shut off the lamp next to the couch I froze at his barely audible words.

“I would have chosen you.”

All the barbs he’d flung at me earlier hadn’t pierced me as much as those five words did. I lingered a few minutes, wanting him to say more. Afraid for him to say more. But his breathing evened out and his usually twitchy body stilled as he slipped into a deep sleep.