In the Dark by Lila Rose (18 page)

"No." I heaved. He knew I was lying.

"Rough night, love?" He turned a worried gaze to Xavier, who nodded, and then his gaze came back to me.

I took another shot and drank it down, that time without the coughing.
Yeah, look at me, I'm a pro already
.

"You could say that," I said and then added, "MaryJane's in town."

"That bitch, you don't need to worry about her. Our young master only has eyes for you."

I snorted and the next shot went down the wrong way, which brought on another round of coughing. After my lungs kicked back into gear, I turned in my seat to look at Caelen.

"I overheard him telling said bitch that I meant nothing to him because now she's back, so he can move on with her."

It was his turn to choke on a sip of his drink. "No way. He wouldn't say that."

"Then why did I hear it with my own ears?"

"Bloody hell," he uttered. "I don't know. But he couldn't have meant it though."

"He has one chance to tell me he didn't. I'm waiting for him here."

"Irele mate, keep them coming and put them on my tab."

"No, I can pay for them," I said, reaching behind to my back pocket and found nothing. Crap. "Okay, but I'll pay you back." I had some money at home.

* * * *

Some time passed and I was feeling light-headed, warm and goddamn good. Caelen was the funniest guy, as well as some of his other mates I met. There was Josh, a tall dude with tattoos all over his arms, and to show them off, he was wearing a see-through tank top, with leather pants. I asked him about the tats. I didn't think vamps could get them because of their healing ability. He laughed at me, patted my head and said he got them before he was turned. Didn't I feel silly for not thinking of it. With Josh was his girlfriend Trixie. She was also tall, slim and beautiful, wearing a short vinyl skirt and a boob tube. Her hair was dyed fire-engine red, which she pulled up into a high ponytail. Another one who sat with us was Blake. He looked too young to be in the bar; he seemed only fourteen. However, Trixie told me later that he was changed by a paedophile vampire. I gasped as the shock hit me. She quickly reassured me Blake had ended up killing his sire and by doing so, not only saved himself, but others like him.

Last in our group was Toby, and his twin sister, Daphne, who, like Isaac, Jeremiah and Jezanna, were born vampires. They both had sky-blue eyes and light blonde, almost white hair. They'd also lost their parents, only it wasn't by Gerald's hands; instead, they were hunted and murdered by vampire hunters. I hated to think there were people out there who thought it right to hunt down all kinds of vampires. Even before knowing there were good ones among them, who only wished to live a somewhat normal life.

All had come to town in search of Isaac's leadership.

As I sat there and watched them, it was easy to enjoy their company. We laughed, talked and none of them were afraid of my eyes. I nearly forgot the reason I was there. Until the door to the bar opened and Isaac's scent drifted down the hall and straight to me.

It was like all the sounds around me stopped and I found my breath stopping with them. Then I saw him dressed in black jeans and a long-sleeved red silk top.

He'd come alone.

My heart skipped a beat. I started to run towards him, smiling, thinking I was out of my mind to have thought Isaac meant those things.

But I should have looked into his eyes. I should have taken notice of his stiffness, because then I would have seen my answer before I saw what came through the hall a few steps behind him.

Mary-stupid-Jane.

Hell,
no wonder they were an item. She was stunning, real model material, with long legs covered in tight, black, low riding pants. She also wore a tight, low-cut, long-sleeved white shirt showing off her large breasts.

All the more to hate you for, my dear.

She had her long, dark brown, wavy hair out and it flowed down around her shoulders.

My steps skidded to a stop. My smile vanished and the alcohol I consumed threatened to make an appearance. I looked to Isaac and… oh, God, his eyes were cold, but they also held pity—or was it concern?

He came right up to me, only a step away. I could have reached out and touched him. I wanted to so bad. But more than anything, I wanted him to reach out to me, to have his body invade my personal space like his intoxicating scent was.

However, I knew I would never have any of those things again.

"I am so sorry, Leila," he uttered.

My eyes were wide and filling with tears. I couldn't hide the shock or hurt.

He'd taken the last ounce of hope from within me, breaking me and dimming all the light he'd lit.

"I let you in."
To my heart, to my home and my life.

I felt Xavier and Caelen come to stand at my sides, just as
she
stood next to Isaac's. Her hand went to his arm and she smiled a very satisfied, cunning smile. I couldn't take my gaze away from her hand. I wanted, no, I needed to break her perfect small hand off. That would have made me feel so much better.

"So this is the little girl craving for your attention," MaryJane said.

I brought my gaze up to hers.

"Oh, look at her. She's going to cry. How pathetic. You pay a little attention to something and it attaches itself to you."

My head cleared and I blinked to rid my tears.

Instead, I pasted the look of hate on my face. "I'm pathetic? And how old are you, deary? As old as my grandmother—no, my great, great grandmother, and I bet you're just as loose as she would have been if she lived as long as you have."

I could hear so many sharp intakes of breath. Others laughed, like Jeremiah, Caelen and Darik. I even noticed Jensen hide his behind his hand.

"You little snake," she hissed. Her hand raised to hit me and I would have welcomed it, knowing I could hit her back, but Isaac took hold of her arm.

"She's not worth it," he said.

Looking to Isaac, I could see he meant it. He glared at me with open hostility in his eyes.

"Harsh, lad," Caelen uttered.

"So true, Isaac," MaryJane purred. "I don't wish to get myself dirty. Thank you, darling." She turned into him and wrapped her arms around his waist as he wrapped an arm around her.

I felt it then.

My heart breaking.

It hurt so much more than it did before. He smashed it and threw it away, threw everything I had into a pit of hell.

Clenching my fists, my nails biting into my palms, I refused to lose it in front of them.

"Leila, let's get out of here," Caelen said.

"No!" I barked then taking a deep breath, I continued, "I mean, I'm leaving. But I don't want you to come with me. I don't need any of you. You're all Isaac's, and everything stops here, now. No more guarding, no more friendship. I don't need anything. Anyone." Without looking at any of them, I left.

Nearing the hall, I heard MaryJane ask, "Guarding? Why were they guarding her?"

Only no one answered.

* * * *

I managed to make it home and inside before sliding to the floor and letting it all out. The tears and pain came with force.

The agony was a reminder to let no one in.

If only I'd asked more questions. I shouldn't have let my hormones take over, but I did, and I only had myself to blame. All the hurt, sorrow, betrayal, I only had myself to blame for that too. The bitch MaryJane was right about one thing. Isaac paid attention to me and I did attach myself to him. I thought I knew him. I didn't. He had a long past, which I really knew nothing about.

He wasn't mine.

My arms circled my waist as another hysterical outburst came when the realisation hit me. I wouldn't hear his voice, his laugh. I wouldn't see his smile. I wouldn't have his touch— nothing—any longer.

Everything inside of me wanted to go back there and beat him senseless, but maybe I deserved it all. Maybe it was a life lesson. One I would remember for the rest of my years. One that would make me stronger, make me realise I didn't need anyone. I had to safeguard myself from everyone who showed me anything.

Stupid, stupid me. Stupid, stupid feelings.

Darkness surrounds me. Every way I turn, I see nothing but black. My heart beats hard in my chest. My hands tremble along with my legs. I want to run, to scream, but I don't.

Because I know I'm waiting.

It isn't until I see two small red dots in the distance that I relax somewhat.

"Yes," I whisper. "That's what I'm waiting for."

The dots drift closer and closer.

And in a blink of an eye, which always makes me jump, they're right in front of me, so close I can reach out and touch them… No, touch the face that belongs to those red eyes.

I want to.

I need to.

Even though a small amount of fright fills me, I still know I'm safe.

The red eyes study me.

"You're mine," the voice growls…

I woke with a fright from someone banging on the front door, right behind me. I'd fallen asleep where I'd landed last night. I'd ran out of energy and couldn't be bothered moving, so I'd
curled up in a ball and cried myself to sleep.

Crap, it was Monday. Meaning, I had lectures if I decided to go. I wondered if he'd be there. Could I stand seeing him? Could I stand all the taunting once word got out Isaac had turned to someone else? Then again, if I didn't go, they'd think the worst, that I'd either killed myself over him or I was at home brooding in self-pity.

Which really didn't sound too bad to me.

Still, I was stronger than that. I'd put up with so much before, so what was a little more? Even when I still felt dead inside.

I jumped when there was another knock at the door. I'd forgotten someone was standing out there. And no, I wouldn't let myself, my stupid brain, jump to the wrong conclusions. It wasn't him.

"Who..." I cleared my dry throat and started again, "Who is it?"

"It's Jezanna."

Closing my eyes, I begged, "Please, just go away."

"I can't, Leila. I have nowhere else to go."

What? How? Quickly standing, I opened the door to find Jezanna there, holding two suitcases in her hands. "Oh, Leila." She sighed, taking in my pathetic form.

"Don't." I shook my head. "What's happened?"

"I told Isaac what he's doing is ridiculous. It was then MaryJane said if I didn't like what my brother is doing I should leave. Therefore, I did. I don't like what he's done to you when it's unnecessary. Leila, he's only taken up with that witch to—"

I held up my hand to stop her from saying any more.

"I really don't want to hear anything about him. Sorry."

She nodded, her eyes sad. "I understand." She shifted from one foot to another. "So will you have me here?"

What would my uncle think? "I-uh. I really… I can't have your brother coming here because you are. It's going to be hard enough to see him at school."

"I understand." She looked upset and turned to leave.

Shit.
She'd left her own house because she didn't agree with what
he
had done. She was here, because she'd stood up for me.

"Jezanna, wait." She looked over her shoulder, giving me a pouty look that would have guys eating out of her hands. "Don't look at me like that, girl. I ain't no guy to fall at your feet. Still, you can stay, but
only
you. I don't want any others coming here. And we'll figure out something to tell my uncle."

She ran up to me and gave me a big hug. "Thank you, thank you. Except we have just one problem. Jeremiah wouldn't let me leave without someone guarding me."

"Oh, Jezza. Who?" I mumbled. Xavier appeared in front of me, smiling shyly.

I sighed loudly and moved aside, waving my arm inside the front door. "All right, whatever. Come on in. I have to get ready for classes, so make yourselves at home. There's a spare room you'll have to share. But under no circumstances are we to speak of Is—" My stupid voice cracked. "Him, not one word. You're here, because Jezanna guilted me into it, and because no matter what I think of
him
, I still like you guys." I followed them through and shut the door, only to pause, turn and ask, "Wait, you're not going to double-cross me or something, right? Because if that's all you're here for, then leave right now. I-I couldn't handle it. Sticking a dagger in me would be less painful right now."

Jezanna walked over to stand in front of me. Taking my hands in hers, tears shone in her own eyes, like mine.

"I will only bring him up this once and then never again. None of us, even his people, are happy with what he's done to you. He'll not listen to our reasoning. He thinks he knows best. We want you to know that what he's done has no involvement to what we think of you. We all care for you, Leila. You have become a part of our clan. Nothing will change that." She wrapped her arms around me.

"Here, here," Xavier whispered. I couldn't hold it back any longer. I broke down once again, this time in Jezanna's arms.

I still had people who cared. I wasn't alone. I didn't have to be alone. My world had not ended.

Only a part of my soul had left me when he'd crushed me the way he did.

Eventually, I pulled away, wiped my face and said, "Enough of this emotional crap. Life goes on, right, and that begins with college. Sorry, for being a blubbering idiot."

"You don't need to apologize. Go and get ready. We'll drive you. Otherwise, you'll be late. We already understand why you'd want to go, and we think you're a strong woman, Leila Morgin." Jezanna smiled.

Snorting away the compliment, I said, "Hey, I didn't see a car out there."

Both of them had a cunning grin upon their faces, but it was Xavier who answered, "Jezanna had me park at the end of your drive, behind some trees."

"Smart girl. If you had of shown up in a car, I wouldn't have answered the door in the first place. You're nearly as tricky as me. Though, now you're living with me, I'm sure I could teach you a few extra things."