In Search of Satisfaction (27 page)

Yin was still silent, taking a sip of her wine.

Carlene continued, “I love him, of course … but I do not have … that kind of love for him … any longer. I … I am old, I
guess.” She tried to laugh lightly, but the laugh was a bit bitter. Yin remained silent. Carlene continued, softly, “I think … if he had a female friend … a pretty, younger, female friend … he could be happier. I … I don’t know what to do to help him. There is no one here in Yoville.” Then, as if it had just occured to her, “Well, yes … there is you, you are here in Yoville.”

Yin looked over at her. “What are you saying?”

Carlene laughed. “Have another glass of sherry. It’s such a cold night. It will make you sleep warm.”

“I have no problem sleeping warm.”

Carlene leaned her head back on her pillows. “I wonder … How is your house coming along?”

“It is coming along. I shall be moving soon.”

Carlene waved her hand again. “I didn’t mean that. I just wondered … if it was costing … more than you had anticipated.”

Yin laughed lightly. “Indeed it is.”

“Are you running low on funds?”

Yin tilted her head at Carlene. “Why do you ask?”

“Because … there is a way to solve your problems. Any problems.”

“How is that?”

“I could lend you … or … give you a certain amount of money to complete your project.”

“Why would you do that for me?”

Carlene made a great sigh of exasperation. “Well, if you must have it straight out … This must be in the strictest of confidence! Or you may regret it. Now Yin … I have said … Richard needs a friend.” Now, this may seem as though Carlene Befoe was taking a step down to Yin’s level, since she truly felt Yin was her inferior along with everyone else. But it is the one in need of something who usually does most of the talking to persuade the other, unless the one seeking help is very, very smart and then they can make the one they need beg them to let them help. Carlene was not that smart.

Yin removed her smile. “Carlene, are you suggesting I am a whore?”

Carlene waved her hands frantically. “Heavens, no! Whatever … No! No, I am not. I am only suggesting … It would be a favor in kind, perhaps. I am helping you … and …”

“It would help you for me to be … Richard’s friend?”

Carlene tried to cry, but couldn’t. “I feel so sorry for him and there is nothing I can do. That has long ago, long ago, been off my mind, but Richard is a man … and men …”

“That is what I would be … a whore, if I did what you are suggesting. And anyway, what makes you think Richard would want me?”

Carlene looked up quickly, because those last words of Yin’s indicated there was a possibility. She did not smile though, she continued to look sad. “Ahh, you are a pretty woman. Very attractive. You could make him want you.” A strange note crept into her voice. “You could be his Lilith.”

Yin tilted her head again. “Isn’t she a demon from the devil’s lair?”

Carlene realized her mistake, “Oh! You don’t believe in all that superstitious fiddle faddle.”

“I didn’t bring it up, you did, when you said Lilith.”

Carlene continued, “I would never believe you to be so unintelligent as to even think of gods and devils.” Far off, Satan smiled.

“I … don’t … know,” Yin said thoughtfully.

Carlene hastened to get off that subject and back to her plea. “In any event, I will tell you this … If you should decide to help me … help Richard, I mean, I could be of considerable assistance to you … now … and always.”

Yin laughed and held her glass up as in a toast. “Would we go on that yacht trip together? And would I have beautiful, new, seagoing clothes to go with you on your yacht trip and perhaps catch a rich husband?” She laughed as if joking.

Carlene did not laugh, she narrowed her eyes at Yin. “If that is what you want. And the … war does not interfere.”

Yin continued as if she were joking, “War? There is no war. But, yes, that and money enough to finish my whole house and landscaping … and, of course, enough to take care of me for all the years of my life!”

Carlene softly said, “Yes.”

And then Yin knew what it really was that Carlene wanted. Not to help Richard but to kill him. Her laughter stopped immediately. “You are serious?”

Carlene, still softly, “Yes.”

Yin, thinking there may be danger in Carlene knowing she understood too much, said, “But you can’t be. A wife asking another woman to make love to her husband?”

“I don’t presume to ask for you to love him. I just … want him to be happier.”

“What is wrong with Richard? His illness, I mean. Isn’t he supposed to … avoid any sudden exertion?”

It was Carlene’s turn to laugh. “Oh, pish! Doctors don’t know everything! Happiness! Satisfaction! That’s what keeps many people alive.”

Yin looked down at the glass she held in her hand and said, “It also kills many people … getting there.”

Carlene felt so close to getting what she wanted, she leaned toward Yin. “Think of your own happiness and satisfaction. Think of your house. Think of your future. You will be satisfied at last.”

Yin stood up, looking for somewhere to put her empty glass, “Carlene, I refuse to continue this conversation. I am not a whore or courtesan. I am a single woman, educated … and with a future … of good family and … and …”

Carlene laughed lightly. “Well, think of it. What will it hurt? You will give satisfaction to two old people. I will be satisfied if he is satisfied. And … no one need ever know. You will soon be in your own house … and if he visits you … after all, you have become friends. People are used to seeing him looking over your progress.”

“On that note, I repeat, I will not, cannot do it, and I will say good evening to you. I am tired.” Yin walked to the door.

“You are too young to be tired. Your life is just beginning … perhaps.”

“Good night, Mrs. Befoe.” The last words she heard as she closed the door were “I will write a tentative acceptance to the yacht trip.”

t
he next time Creed worked at her house, Yin spoke to him of Richard. “Mr. Creed, what exactly does the poor gentleman have wrong with him?”

“Welllll, I don’t rightly know, but I do know it is around his heart. He was much better before his mother passed away.” The thing Yin liked about Creed was he could talk while he worked. He continued, “Soon after he come back from that trip, he went by hisself, you know, he just seemed to slow down. Didn’t feel like doin much of nothin at all. Stopped mostly all his travels on his business. Now gets that lawyer here to bring it to him, and things like that.”

“How long ago did his mother die? Had Carlene been to see her?”

“Bout nine, ten months now. No, she didn’t go none.”

“What medicine does he take?”

“Oh, I don’t know all that. He gets it from the drugstore man here. Sent down from New York or Philadelphia, I don’t know.” He stopped working and looked at Yin. “You sure worryin bout him.”

“I think he is a kind man, and someone should worry about him. Carlene seems … distant.”

He started back to work. “They is distant. It’s been years since I
even seen them talkin together. But I ain’t with em all the time, so I don’t know. His daughter can’t look after him, so he look after himself.”

“What would happen if he didn’t get his medicine?”

“I blive when you don’t get your medicine … and you got a bad heart, you can die … easy.”

“Then he really should not do too much, exert himself in any way, I mean …?” She looked at him in just the way he could understand.

He understood. “That can kill people … if they heart and pressure is real bad.”

“Even making … love?”

Creed blushed, then laughed. “Miz Yin, you going too far for me. I ’magin it would! What you thinkin of?”

“Nothing, just talking to a friend.” She took herself off to work somewhere else alone.

f
or the next week or so, Yin was very quiet, thinking about the pills, the request, Richard and the new baby. Everything was so big, so confusing, it hurt to have to think of everything. But finally she did think, “If I do this with Richard, I can say my baby is his. That gives me seven months to get as much money as I can. And I’ll cheat that ole bitch. I’ll get him some real medicine and switch them on her. Wonder should I tell him? He’s got plenty of money himself! Oh, there’s got to be a way! There is a way! I will think of it.” She struggled in her mind. “But the yacht trip! I want that yacht trip. But I won’t kill him. I don’t want that on me. And I won’t give her the satisfaction.”

That evening, Yin went to Carlene and said, “I need five thousand dollars. to do some work I must have done.”

Carlene looked at her thoughtfully. “Does this mean …?”

Yin cut her off, “Just leave it be. I don’t want to talk about it. Give me the five thousand dollars. I will not fool you or cheat you. I will … help him in your way.”

Carlene smiled a strange smile. “You are a wise … and kind woman.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Carlene nodded her head. “As you like.” And soon, in a day or two, the money was given to Yin.

• • •

w
hen Yin next saw Richard, she spoke to him thus. “Dear Richard. Are you a fool?”

Richard looked at her as if she were a fool. “What do you mean?”

“If I tell you something that would hurt me, will you tell the one who could hurt me?”

Richard liked Yin, so he smiled. “I don’t think so.”

Yin thought a long moment. “Your wife wants us to have … an affair.”

Richard laughed. “How do you know that?”

“She has told me. ‘For your happiness,’ she said.”

“My happiness?” He sounded incredulous.

“Yes. And I will tell you this,” She took a deep breath. “You need to get your own prescription filled and keep your pills with you.”

“Oh, I have never done that. Carlene always …” He looked at her, then away, thoughtfully. He sat down heavily, looking back at her, placing a hand on his chest.

Yin jumped up, reaching for him. “You certainly must not die now!”

“What has she promised you?” His voice was strained.

“The money I need to complete my work here … in entirety.”

“How much is that?” His breathing eased.

“Ten thousand dollars.”

“Yin, you don’t need that much now.”

“I want that much. I want a lovely home to live and grow old in. And raise my children in … if I ever have any.”

“I would rather give the money to you.”

“Oh, Mr. Befoe, Richard, when?”

He made a small laughing sound. “Before I die. In a few days.”

Yin smiled deeply, her sexiest smile. “But … what will we do about … the affair?”

“Why, we shall have it, of course.” He smiled sadly.

“In a little while, a week or so, after you take some REAL medicine.”

When they did make love, Yin insisted on being on top. To her surprise, it was good. Richard was gentle and very tender. Afterwards, she lay in his arms in a sort of wonder. What was wrong with Carlene? Why would she not want this man? She asked Richard those questions.
In his mellow, relaxed mood, thinking of all this relationship could be, he told her. He told her everything about his father, Carlene and Richlene. Even Yin was filled with disgust for Carlene, but she was thrilled at the information she now had.

Yin did not fool herself. She did not intend to love Richard. He was married and married to a veritable bitch. No, she did not need that problem. She insisted on never doing it again because she cared too deeply for him and it would be too painful to love a man who was married and would never divorce his wife. She looked at him questioningly. He simply nodded and said, “She is my wife.”

As usual, if it did not involve business, he tended to believe people. In a few days, however, he gave her only five thousand dollars. She was too wise to pout. “Hell, it was a gift,” she thought as she smiled up at him.

y
in anxiously waited another month, then she went to Carlene.

“I have done what you asked of me … I want the money you have promised me. I am suffering for what you had me do. I am made pregnant by your husband.” Carlene stared at her, unable to say a word. She did not believe it, but she could not disbelieve it either. She knew Yin had no lover in Yoville. Unless it was Creed. Carlene shook her head no and looked with wonder at Yin. Yin just quietly closed the door and left Carlene sitting there staring at the door.

Then Yin went to Richard and told him she was pregnant. To her surprise, he seemed happy about it. Then she said as soon as she could she was leaving to move into her old home made new. He thought it was a good idea. “But I will need more money,” she smiled. She received more than she asked for. Richard was happy about the baby. With Richard’s financial help, she shopped and shopped for her own home. The next few days she gathered all her belongings from Mrs. Whitman and the Befoes. Anxious, joyously, she was on her way to her own home, which she had lied for, stolen for, loved for. It was surely hers now. She had done some good too though, hadn’t she?

s
he was settled at last, all her belongings neatly put away in her own home, so many new things to have and enjoy. Settled. It had taken time, but it was done. Yin smiled to herself as she looked over all she now owned. Her home. Her child’s home. A family with a home. She frowned, thinking, “My child better not be too dark. But I can take care of that. I will cross that ocean when I get to it.”

Very soon after Yin moved into her own house, she was sitting on her veranda looking toward the road. It was lonelier now. She had enjoyed some kind of closeness with Sally and Richlene and Minna in the Befoe house, and now there was no one. Sally came sometimes for little short visits. Yin didn’t encourage anyone to come, really, because her pregnancy was showing, and she didn’t want anyone counting the time and perhaps mentioning it to Carlene.

This morning she was looking at the main road some distance from her house. Someone, a woman, bent a bit and walking slowly, turned into her entrance. Yin watched the woman as she slowly moved closer to her. She felt a bit comforted that people would be stopping by, even though she didn’t really want company. She fluffed her dress over her stomach. And waited.