In Search of Grace (11 page)

             
Mark caught up with
them
as
they quickly
ran far from the
village
letting the
jungle swallow
them up
.
  When they had figured they were far enough away
,
they
efficiently packed Richards wounds
,
but they knew it was bad
.  Mark and Seth alternated carrying
their friend
.
Seth felt his anger burn deep within his stomach at the setup and ambush.  Someone would pay for this. 
They were a mile from the rendezvous point when Richard died.
 
Seth felt his chest constrict at the memory
.
He covered his eyes with
his free
hand as he felt them fill with tears.  It was a long time before he drifted off to sleep.

             
A
lex woke with a start.   Startled, she stared at Seth sleeping next to
her
and
quickly went over the events of the evening trying to sort out
her emotions
.
  What was it about this man that made her feel
so
safe?
 
Glancing at the clock on her nightstand saw that it read 3:00 am
.
T
urn
ing
back to
him,
she realized that hi
s hand was still holding her
s
against his chest
,
and she gently removed it. 
Seth
shifted slightly but did not wake.   The light in the hallway was bright,
illuminating
her bed
,
so
she could
view him fully
.
  Looking at his face,
she smiled seeing
a bit of
the
black
hair
that had
fallen across his
forehead
.  It made him look younger. 
Alex
reached up to brush it aside
as her
eyes roamed his face
liking how
sleep softened
the line
s
.
She felt an overwhelming need to touch him.  Surprised at her own courage, she g
ently
,
with
one
finger
,
traced his lips
and jawbone
,
remembering
what it
felt
like having him kiss her.  She
then
brought her hand to his chest
again
wanting
to feel his heart beating
,
steady, strong
.  Feeling the heat from his body through his tee
shirt,
she watched in f
ascination
as
his nipple harden
under
her touch
. 

             
“
Can
I help you?”

             
Alex
almost
jumped
out of her skin while her f
ace flamed red.

             
“I was just…ummm, I woke up….” 

             
She hung her head so that her hair shield
ed
her face. 
She was mortified at
him catching her touching him.
Reaching up
,
Seth
gently
brushed aside the curtain
of hair
then cupped the side of her face
.
Staring he held her eyes with his.  She was so expressive.

             
“I didn’t say I
minded
you touching me, just asked how I could help
you.
”

             
Knowing
he was laughing at her
she
pushed away from him,
feeling the familiar urge to
run.
  The problem was
he was
in her house and in her bed. 
There was
nowhere
for her to go.

             
Seth laughed and b
efore she knew that was happening h
e
playfully
grabbed
both of her wrists, pushed them behind her back, flipped
her
over
and
press
ed
her down into the
mattress
.
 
Alex’s body froze
,
and
her breath
stilled
while
her heart felt like it was going to pound out of her chest in fear.  Seth was oblivious to her panic.

             
He nuzzled her neck. 
“I wish you would stop r
unning from me all of the time Rabbit
,
” his
voice softened, “
a
re you ok now?”

             
“
Would you please let go of me?”

             
Seth let go of her arms
while looking down at her.
  She had gone white as a ghost.

             
“Shit
,
Alex, are you ok?
  Did I hurt you?
” 
Alex yanked away from
him
.

             
“Don’t ever do that again to me.  Don’t ever pin me down
!
”

             
Seth
grabbed her face and turned it to him
forcing her to
look him in the eyes.
“Alex,
I am sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.  I would never hurt you.  You know that
,
right?”

             
Fighting back the tears, Alex
did not
respond.
Seth
lay
back down onto his side while pulling her now stiffened body to him again
,
but she pushed him away.

             
“Don’t touch me
.
”
She struggled against his grip
,
but when he
wouldn’t
release her she
felt the nervous panic again.

             
“What?
!!
...”
 

             
“
S
hhhh,
I am going to stay until you fall back to sleep. 
Close your eyes rabbit.
”

             
He did not like the path his thoughts were taking him.  Her demons may
be
even worse than he had originally thought.  Seth watched over her until he
saw the
f
irst
light of morning cutting through the curtain. 
Easing
out of
her
bed, he touched
her head lightly
before walking
back to his ho
use
.

             
Buzz
zzzzzzzzzzz
.   Alex slowly woke up and groaned at hearing the alarm clock.  
“D
am
mit
!
”   Muttering under her
breath,
she rolled over and slammed her hand down on the clock.  
Attempting
to clear the fog from her mind, she glanced at the time.  6:30 am.    

             
She mentally made a note to herself to never schedule another 8:00 a
m
appointment. Rolling onto her
back
while staring up at the ceiling
,
she
re
-
lived the
events of the early morning
hours
.
Alex knew that Seth would never intentionally hurt her
,
and she blew up at him more than she needed to
,
but he had really scared her last night.
She
remembered
Seth’s
arms
around
her as
he pressed
her against him in
comfort
.
Her body react
ing
to the though
t
, and
she groaned
out loud
. 
What
was
wrong with
her?
 

             
By the time the shower was over,
and
dressed with make up on
,
Alex had very little time to get to Craig’s office before 8:00.  She hated being late
, which was another pet peeve she had from her first marriage.
A
lways prid
ing
herself at being on time
, Jeremy
never showed up on
time.

             
Pulling out of her driveway, she glanced over to see that
Seth’s
truck
was in the driveway and wondered if he was sleeping.
  Just
then,
her blackberry rang.  Looking down and seeing
his
name,
her stomach did a somersault.
Breathless
,
she put the car back in park then
answered shyly.

             
“
Hello?
”

             
“Good morning rabbit
.
How are you feeling this morning?”

             
“I feel great…
thank
s to
you
.
”

             
“Hey, I am out most of the day and wasn’t sure what you were doing later.
Interested in coming over to my place for dinner?”

             
Alex paused.

             
“Alex?”

             
“Sure, I would love to
.
”

             
He took a deep breath knowing she was nervous
,
and taking a chance on guessing why
,
decided to be blunt.  “Rabbit, I am inviting you to dinner, not sex.”

             
Alex
could not
believe
he had just said that.
“I KNOW” she replied trying to quell the butterflies in her stomach.

             
“Ok
ay
then
!  Around 6:00ish?
”

             
“
Yes
that would be great
.
”

             
The rest of Alex’s day
flew by
.  Meetings with her promoter to go over her scheduled events, her publisher regarding book cover design
s
,
and then the general errands of the
post office
and dry cleaning
.
As busy as her agenda was, it
was not
busy
enough to stop the butterflies
from fluttering in her sto
mach each time she thought about him. 

             
It was
5
:30 before she
pulled into the driveway
.  C
ursing
aloud
,
Alex rus
hed into the house and jumped into the shower.  Ten minutes later
, she stood
staring into her
closet
overcome with feelings of doubt.  “
Snap
out of it Alex
!”
  Muttering under her breath all the while trying to quell the
schoolgirl
feelings rushing inside of her.

             
D
ecid
ing
on a simple outfit of stonewashed jeans and a white tee shirt
,
Alex sprayed on some
perfum
e then ran across the yard to the gate exactly at 6:00
pm.
 
Her hand hesitated on the gate
’
s latch
.
  She had been on
only a
few dates in her lifetime. Even her relationship with
her
ex-husband
had not
begun
through
a lot of
dating.
Jer
emy flashed across her mind
,
h
is
words taunting her. 
He was always t
elling her how she was no good
, useless
.
  She felt like that lost little girl from
Maine
.
  Alex wonder
ed
what she was doing trying to get to know
Seth
.