“How could you do this to my lady? Look at her face, you brute,” Susan yelled.
Shocked, Vincent leaped off the bed and fled back to his own bedchamber. He dressed immediately and went downstairs.
How could anyone think that I would harm Miriam
? She would put her maid straight, he was sure, but he was also only too aware of how rumours and gossip could spread amongst the servants.
He went to the stable and asked for his horse to be saddled; despite the cold morning he needed some fresh air and some time to gather his thoughts. How stupid he had been dropping off to sleep.
What on earth will Miriam think of me now?
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Vincent need not have worried. Once she had got over the shock of being wakened by Susan's screams and finding Vincent seated on her bed, Miriam put all the pieces of the jigsaw together. She knew that Vincent had been concerned about her after her fall and was very touched that he had come into her room to watch over her. She fully remembered that she had injured her head in a fall and quickly told Susan this. But as she looked at her maid's face, she saw disbelief.
“Susan, I assure you that Vincent did not lay a finger on me. I fell and banged my head. You of all people should not be surprised. You have been with me long enough to know how frequently I fall.”
“He ran back to his room quick enough. To me that says guilt,” Susan retorted stubbornly. “And why would you fall if you were in bed?”
“I fell when going from the chair to the bed,” Miriam patiently explained. “Vincent heard me fall and checked that I was not hurt. He must have been so worried that he came back to my room to keep an eye on me.”
Miriam was not going to tell her maid how Vincent had held her on his lap. She was still hugging to herself the feelings she had experienced when she'd come round and found herself there. She had enjoyed being on his lap. The heat radiating from his body had a more warming effect than the fire. She had known, in fact, where she was some time before she fully opened her eyes, but had felt so warm and protected she had pretended still to be unconscious so she could enjoy the delicious feelings for a little longer. And she'd been only too aware of his aroused state.
Susan gave her a look that implied that she still did not believe Miriam's version of events, but knew better than to argue with her mistress. Miriam realized that if others in the house saw her injuries, they might well jump to the wrong conclusion, too. To prevent this, she told Susan that she would remain in her room all day and instructed her to bring all meals to her. Miriam also realized, without regret, that her injury had given her a good excuse to avoid the countess for a day or two.
Other than a slight headache, Miriam found that she actually did not feel too bad. Because Vincent had thought to put a cold compress on her forehead, the swelling had gone down considerably, although she knew that she would have a nasty bruise for a few days.
Miriam spent the morning quietly. She ate a good breakfast and settled in front of the little desk in her room to write some letters. First she would write to Lucy and ask how soon she would be able to come for a visit.
After lunch Susan came to her and said that Vincent had asked if she was well enough to see him.
“Of course I am, Susan. Tell him he can come at any time.”
“Shall I stay with you, my lady?” Obviously Susan still was not convinced about him.
Miriam laughed at this. “I do not think I need a chaperone anymore, now I'm a married woman.”
Not long after Susan made her reluctant retreat, Vincent knocked on the door to Miriam's room. She bade him to come in, which he did, but unsure of his welcome, he did not approach Miriam until she smiled at him.
“I would have come downstairs to thank you for caring for me so well last night,” she said warmly, “but thought I had better wait in my room until my head looked a little better.”
“You are feeling well, then? I was so worried about you,” Vincent said, relieved at Miriam's understanding of the previous night's events. “I could not sleep for wondering if you were harmed after your fall, so I came through to your room just to sit with you for a while until I was sure you were sleeping, not unconscious,” he explained. “I never meant to fall asleep. I'm so sorry.”
Vincent sounded so much like a little boy trying to escape getting into trouble that Miriam could not help but feel pleased that he had been so worried about her. Although theirs was to be a very peculiar marriage, surely this showed that he must care about her to some degree.
“As I told you, I am used to falling,” she said truthfully. “For as long as we remain married, you must get used to it, too. I cannot promise that it will not happen again.”
“I don't mind how often you fall as long as you do not sustain any harm. I am, however, concerned in case others may, or already have, put a different interpretation on your injuries.”
Miriam knew that Vincent was referring to her maid's response. “Susan was shocked. I have explained the situation to her, but although she did not contradict me, I am not altogether sure that she accepted my explanation.”
“I can assure you that I would never knowingly hurt you in any way and certainly not in the manner your maid was implying,” Vincent told her earnestly. “Nor would I come to your bed without your permission.”
Miriam felt her spirits sink as she murmured a thank-you. His words only reinforced the platonic nature of their marriageâthat he'd never consider being physically intimate with her. She was foolish to expect any more from him than friendship and protection, and she must be satisfied with this. His arousal last night must have been just a natural male reaction to the closeness of a female.
Vincent then outlined his plans. “I think I will leave for London tomorrow, rather than wait until the end of the week. I find I have pressing business. I have asked Jeremy Stiles, my estate manager, to show you around in my absence, and my mother has promised to introduce you to the housekeeping arrangements here as soon as you feel well enough.”
Miriam's spirits sank even lower. It was plain that he could not wait to take his leave. He must be finding it hard to cope with a wife like her; she knew that she had already caused him more anxiety than he could have predicted when he persuaded her to marry him. She resolved that she would keep up her part of the bargain and not let him see how upset she was at his imminent departure.
“I know you are keen to get back to London and indeed it was for this end that you married me,” she stated bravely, fixing a smile on her face. “I will be well occupied here learning about the estate and the household. I have written to Lucy asking if she can come to visit me. Is that all right with you?”
“Please invite Lucy to stay for as long as she wishes. I know you enjoy her company. I will return in time for the Christmas Ball, which we hold every year in the week before Christmas. You can help my mother with the planning for it.” Vincent hesitated as if he were going to say more, but then turned towards the door. He knew deep down that he was being cowardly by leaving so soon, and that his mother was unlikely to embrace Miriam's help with the Christmas Ball. “Buy yourself a new gown and anything else you need while I am away,” he added as he left, desperately trying to salve his conscience.
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The following morning Miriam once again stayed in her room for breakfast. Then Susan came to tell her that Vincent was asking if she would join him and the estate manager in his office. Miriam agreed to this although she was still very conscious of the bruising on her face.
As she entered the room the two men stood up.
Vincent made the introductions, then said to Miriam, “I have told Jeremy that you will be dealing with any matters arising in my absence, and he has agreed to show you around the estate and apprise you its workings.”
“It will be my pleasure, my lady,” said Jeremy, smiling at her. “If you will permit, I will also take the opportunity to introduce you to my father, Jeremy Stiles, Senior, who was the estate manager before I took over from him. He would be delighted to meet you, and his knowledge of the estate far surpasses mine.”
Miriam instantly decided that she liked this man, with his open manner and friendly expression. She judged he was probably about thirty, although his weather-beaten face made it difficult for her to be certain; maybe he was even younger. “I look forward to learning about the estate and I would very much like to meet your father, although as you can see I have had a slight accident and would prefer to wait until the bruising has gone and my face is restored to normal.”
“Vincent told me that you had fallen. He also stressed that I was to make sure you came to no further harm.” Jeremy smiled, despite Vincent's scowl.
Miriam thought that they must know each other well. Maybe she could find out more about the man she had married at the same time she learned about the estate.
Vincent got back to business. “I am leaving for London after lunch today, so I have suggested to Jeremy that he meet with you tomorrow morning. You can then decide how often you want to meet. When I'm at home, we generally meet up two or three times a week, but I will leave you to do as you think best.”
“That is a good suggestion,” agreed Miriam, hoping her distress upon hearing how soon Vincent was to leave did not show in her voice or expression. “Mr. Stiles, shall we meet in this office at ten in the morning?”
“That will suit me fine, my lady, and please call me Jeremy or I will think that you are referring to my father.”
Jeremy stood and bowed before striding out of the room, leaving Miriam and Vincent alone.
“I hope you have a safe journey to London,” Miriam offered, suddenly feeling a little awkward with him.
“Thank you.” Vincent suddenly wanted to spend a little more time in her company before he left. He'd noticed that the smile had gone from her face. “Will you take lunch with me before I leave? My mother is out visiting so she will not be there to question you about your injury.” He paused, then asked, “Are you sure that you are feeling quite well?”
“I am feeling my usual self as long as I do not touch the bruise on my head,” Miriam assured him. “I would be very happy to have lunch with you and to see you off on your journey.” Then, worried that she may have sounded too forward, she added, “The staff will expect that, I think.”
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Miriam dressed carefully for lunch. She wanted Vincent to see her at her best before he left. The meal was quite relaxed and Vincent regaled Miriam with tales of the Christmas Balls of past years, then added sadly that this year's might be hard for him as it would be the first since his father died. Miriam could easily sympathize.
When it came time for Vincent to leave, she pulled on her warmest cloak and went outside to wave him off. Vincent formally came over to her and said his farewells. Miriam, realizing this was not how a newly married pair would act, took his hand and walked with him up to the waiting carriage; when they arrived at the carriage, she put her hands on his shoulders and offered her cheek for him to kiss.
Vincent played his part to the full. Aware that he might not get another opportunity, he ignored her proffered cheek and, tilting her chin, kissed her full on the mouth.
The kiss was firm yet gentle and unlike anything Miriam had ever experienced before. Her mouth opened willingly beneath his, and her whole body trembled so much that she had to cling more tightly to him for fear of fainting.
Shaken and aroused by Miriam's response, Vincent was the one who eventually broke away. Miriam could not have done so if her life had depended on it. She had to take deep gulps of the cold air to settle her breathing. She found herself speechless and unable to move from where she was standing as she watched him climb into the carriage and depart.
His lips still burning from the kiss, Vincent had to take a few deep breaths of his own to recover himself before he felt able to turn and wave. He was now even more convinced that he needed to put some distance between himself and Miriam in order to regain control of his feelings.
Miriam stood in the same place for many minutes after the carriage had disappeared from view, until at last Susan came up and assisted her back into the house.
Miriam knew that she would savour that kiss for the rest of her life.
Over the next few weeks Miriam's life fell into an easy rhythm. She met with Jeremy Stiles three mornings a week. He took her around the estate in the carriage if the weather was fine, and if not, they discussed estate matters in Vincent's office. Her favourite mornings were those when Jeremy was busy and he took her to his house to talk with his father.
Miriam took an immediate liking to Jeremy Stiles Senior, and he treated her like the daughter he never had. They drank tea and she told him all about her old life at Charlwood Hall. In turn, he told her tales about his family and Vincent's, as well as the estate. She learned that Vincent and his younger brother, Charles, had been frequent visitors to the Stileses' house when they were children and often played with Jeremy and his brothers. After Vincent's father passed away and Jeremy Senior reached his sixtieth year, he decided that he would stand back and let his son Jeremy take over as the estate manager. He was still able to help out when needed and remained very aware of what was happening on the estate.
Afternoons were quiet times for Miriam when she would read or sew. Miriam wrote to Vincent once or twice each week to keep him informed on estate matters. The countess, although at first not overly friendly, did meet with her several times a week to discuss household matters and to make the arrangements for the Christmas Ball that was to be held a few days before Christmas. The countess was quite happy to delegate the task of writing invitations to Miriam while she dictated names and addresses.
Miriam had taken the countess's advice on a suitable dressmaker and listened to her suggestions regarding an appropriate ball gown for the occasion. This at least gave them a topic for conversation, and they were both cordial to each other when they met at mealtimes.
The countess offered to move to the dower house in the new year, but Miriam, remembering how she had felt when she was asked to move out of Charlwood House, assured her that she would be welcome to continue living in Maudley Castle.
Miriam's quiet routine changed at the beginning of December. First, Lucy arrived and, although Miriam kept up her regular morning meetings with Jeremy Stiles, the rest of the day was now spent in the drawing room gossiping with Lucy, or if the weather was fine, they would have a ride in the carriage.
They were seated in the drawing room one afternoon when, much to Lucy's delight, Mr. Robert Bright was announced. They were both pleased to have him call on them, Lucy because she was halfway to being in love with him and Miriam because his easy charm made him delightful company. He soon became a frequent visitor to Maudley Castle, and now that Miriam was a married woman, she could act as chaperone to Lucy on the occasions when they visited Robert's home, Fairleigh Manor.
The second arrival that afternoon was Charles Mount-Parker, Vincent's younger brother. He was back from Oxford University for Christmas and New Year's Eve. At nineteen, he was not much younger than Miriam and Lucy. He had the noble Mount-Parker nose, his hair was slightly darker than Vincent's, and he was not quite as tall, but there could be no mistaking they were brothers. Charles had known Robert Bright from childhood and the four of them became fast friends, meeting up most afternoons. Miriam found Charles quite wild, compared to Vincent. Vincent always appeared calm and seemed to think about everything carefully before he spoke or acted, whereas Charles would dash headlong into different activities, often taking Lucy, Robert and herself along with him.
One fine afternoon Charles suggested that they all go horseback riding. Miriam explained to him that she was unable to ride.
“Did you never learn?” he asked. “I would have thought that you of all people would benefit from this greatly, since you cannot walk for any distance.”
“I did ride when I was a young girl,” explained Miriam, “but with the weakness in my legs I could not manage side-saddle.” The sadness this caused Miriam was reflected in her eyes.
“Then you should ride astride,” Charles declared. “I am sure that within the grounds of our estate it would be quite acceptable. I shall ask Mother's opinion on this.”
“Please do not,” implored Miriam. “I am sure that your mother would be shocked if you even suggested such a thing. Her opinion of me is not high and I do not wish to lower it further.”
“I will not ask her on the one condition that you give it a try. We can take a mount to the big barn and you could ride without fear of being observed,” Charles dared her.
“I'm not sure,” replied Miriam, feeling sorely tempted.
“We can go first thing in the morning when it is quiet,” Charles said as he left the room, giving Miriam no opportunity to respond.
The following morning Charles appeared with some riding breeches. “Come, put them on and cover up with this long cloak. I will meet you back here in five minutes. We will go to the stables.” He gave her no chance to back out.
The thought of riding a horse again was so appealing that, after having further assurances from Charles that she would not be seen, Miriam gave in to temptation and agreed. She could not in her whole life remember ever having done anything so daring. She felt both excited and nervous at the same time, and her heart drummed.
Miriam could not believe her bad luck when, arriving at the stables, the first person she saw was Jeremy Stiles. She made to turn back, but Charles, confident as usual, went up to him and asked his opinion on which horse would best suit Miriam, who had not ridden for many years. Jeremy gave this some thought and suggested they try Princess, an older horse who was very calm.
When Jeremy went to fetch a saddle, Miriam knew that the scheme was doomed to fail and secretly felt that it would be for the best. Charles went with Jeremy into the tack room, and Miriam could see they were in earnest discussion. Then Jeremy came out carrying a regular saddle.
“Charles tells me that you used to ride when you were younger?” Jeremy questioned her. He felt the need to check this for himself before letting them continue with this caper.
“Yes, I had my own pony that I rode until it was deemed that I had to change to a side saddle, but however hard I tried, my legs were not strong enough to support me,” explained Miriam with a smile. She did not want to be pitied.
“I am not completely in favour of Charles's suggestion but would not stop you trying out a ride on Princess as long as it's in private in the barn.” Jeremy smiled. “I cannot imagine how I would feel if I was no longer able to ride my horse and soâ¦I do not want to stop you having a bit of enjoyment.” He hesitated, then added, “I am not sure what your husband would think of this, but I cannot suppose much harm can come to you.”
That first morning as she was helped onto the horse, Miriam was very nervous and allowed Charles to take a leading rein and slowly walk the horse with her on it. After a few turns around the barn she felt confident enough to take the reins herself and was surprised at how quickly everything she knew about guiding a horse came back to her. Princess was a beautiful animal, and Miriam knew that she would want to ride her again and again, even if it was out of sight in the confined space of the barn.
Charles was delighted at her enjoyment, but after an hour had passed, he suggested that she had perhaps been riding long enough. It turned out he was right, for the following morning Miriam's legs ached badly from using muscles that had not been used since she was a child. This, however, did not deter her from wanting to ride again, and Charles was easily persuaded to accompany her.
During the next two weeks Charles took Miriam to ride in the barn on those mornings when she did not meet with Jeremy. She became more confident on each occasion and was trotting Princess around the barn one morning when Jeremy came to check on her.
“You are an accomplished rider,” he praised her. “I had my misgivings about being involved in Charles's scheme for you to ride, but I can see how much pleasure riding gives you.” Jeremy remained unsure of what Vincent's reaction would be, but it was not his place to question and it was good to see the young mistress enjoying herself.
Miriam glowed under his praise and was relieved that he had not come to put a stop to the activity.