In Name Only (19 page)

“Speaking of
private matters, how is married life?  Is it the wedded bliss you thought it
would be?”

“Well, I. . .”

“That sounds like
trouble in paradise.”

“There’s no
trouble, David.  Just forget I mentioned anything.”  

*  *  *

Caroline sat on
the chair by the fire in her bedroom.  The book lay open on her lap; she hadn’t
turned a page in over an hour.  Liam had kissed her goodbye before he left for
the train station. Her husband had insisted that she remain in her own bedroom
and, in the interests of obeying him, she said nothing. Part of her felt
relieved but at the same time, she was disappointed that she would not be lying
beside Liam all night.  And why did he insist that she stay in her bedroom? Was
she neglecting to do something during their intimate time together?  When Jane
had helped her dress this morning, she almost asked the servant for advice,
although what information could Jane, an unmarried woman, give?

Caroline
straightened as she heard faint noises from outside.  She placed her book on
the bedside table.  She walked to the window and watched the carriage ride up
to the front of the house.  She wasn’t sure how she ought to react.  Certainly,
David could have stayed away until the end of the year, or next year, if she
had her preference.

At the top of the
staircase, Caroline waited for her husband and his brother to come in, and she
found herself beginning to tremble.  She slowly descended the stairs, keeping
her eyes focused on her feet rather than her husband and his brother.  She
heard Jane’s voice, “Good afternoon, Mr. David, Mr. Liam,” then Liam’s voice, “Caroline,
David is home.” She looked up and attempted to smile, but it came off as a
grimace.

Jane took the
men’s coats and hats and left the foyer.

David stepped
forward.  “Caroline, it’s good to see you again.  Married life obviously suits
you.  You look beautiful.” 

She made another
attempt at a smile.  “Thank you.”

“If you two will
excuse me, I have a lot of work to do.” David quickly went to the study and
closed the door behind him.

Liam’s eyes
followed his brother, but he remained beside his wife. For a moment, they were
quiet, listening to the tick tock rhythm of the grandfather clock.

“Liam?”

“Yes?”

“Do you wish for
me to come to your room later?”

“Oh. . .well. .
.”

“I would very
much like to come to your room.”

“You would?”

Caroline nodded. 
“‘Tis my duty, Liam.”

Her husband
sighed, then quietly said, “Yes, very well.”

Chapter 18

“Miss Caroline,
ye can’t be knowin’ how glad I am ta see ye again.” Patsie yanked Caroline into
her ample bosom on the front porch of the Martin house.

“I’ve missed you
as well, Patsie.  But it has only been four weeks since the wedding!”

“Sure an’ I know
that.  And me Jane’s been tellin’ me ye and she been gettin’ on so well.”

“We have.  She’s
a wonderful young woman.”

“I’ll be thankin’
ye for sayin’ so.Now then, how is it ye be gettin’ home this afternoon?  Will
Mr. Liam be after comin’ ta fetch ye later on?”

“Yes.  I do hope
that Uncle and Elizabeth come home soon.”

“Well now, sure
they said they be only an hour.  That be puttin’ ‘em home in a wee minute or
so.” With that, the Martin carriage pulled up the laneway.  It reached the
front of the house where her uncle and cousin got out.

“There you are,
Caroline,” bellowed Uncle Edward as he embraced his niece.  “Married life must
agree with you, my dear.  You are looking more beautiful than ever.”

“Thank you,
Uncle.”

Elizabeth leaned
in to embrace her cousin and kissed her cheek.  “Carrie, I must agree with
Father.”

“Well, I hope you
two young ladies have a wonderful visit.  I must work in my office until this
evening.  Are you staying for dinner, my dear?”

“No, Uncle.  Liam
will be here in a few hours to take me home.”

“Perhaps another
time.”

“Yes.”

He gathered her
into a tight hug and kissed her forehead.

Elizabeth pulled
Caroline into the parlor.

“So?” asked Elizabeth.

“So what?”

“So what does it
feel like to be a married woman?” she whispered.  “We haven’t had an
opportunity for some sisterly dialogue since you were married.  Of course,
church would be a most inappropriate place to discuss that subject.”  Elizabeth was on the verge of giggling.

“Well, Lizzie,
Liam is a wonderful man but. . .”

“But?”

“He works
dreadfully long hours, which doesn’t leave very much time for us to be
together, and he’s already traveled twice since we were married four weeks
ago.”

“Well, all men
are like that.  Papa works all the time.”

“Yes, I guess
so.”

“So how is the
cooking over there?”

“It’s rather
good.  To be honest, I prefer Patsie’s cooking. Jane prepares a lot of Irish
dishes and there’s soda bread at every meal.”

“I’ve never
personally liked soda bread, Carrie.  It’s far too bland for my tastes.”

They spent the
next few hours, conversing and playing parlor games. Towards the end of their
stay together, Caroline looked up to find Missy standing at the doorway.

“Mr. David’s here
to take you home, Miss.”

“Oh.” Caroline
kept her gaze down and dropped her shoulders. “I thought that Liam was going to
pick me up.”

“Mr. David was
wondering how long you might be.  He said he had some business to attend to
with his. . .horse.”

“At least another
half hour or so would be fine.”

“Yes, of course,
Miss,” she said, then quickly left.

In the parlor, a
short while later, Caroline looked at the mantel clock as it struck the half
hour.  “It’s already been over an hour, Lizzie.  Perhaps I ought to see what
David’s doing in the stable.”

“Really, Carrie,
that’s a job for a servant.”

Caroline
remembered the last time she looked for Missy in the henhouse.  She didn’t need
nor want to know what David was doing in the stable.  “On second thought,
you’re right. Perhaps Patsie can ask David when he’ll be ready to leave.”  She
got up and walked toward the doorway.

“Why don’t you
pull on the rope over there?  The one on the left is for the kitchen.”

“I abhor those
contraptions.  It’s no trouble for me to go down to the kitchen and find her
myself.  Besides, I need to walk after sitting for so long.”

“Very well.  I
shall wait for you here.”

Caroline quickly
made her way down to the Martin kitchen.  As she descended the staircase,
warmth drifted upward and she could smell a turkey roasting in the oven. 
“Patsie?” she called out.  She stood at the bottom of the steps.  No one was in
the kitchen.  She turned to go back up the steps, but paused when she heard voices
coming from behind the closed door of the servant kitchen bedroom.

“What’s wrong,
David?”

“I don’t know. 
I. . .”

“Come now.  Don’t
you...want me anymore?”

“Of course I do. 
It’s just that. . .”

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. I
can’t. . .do this anymore.”

Their sounds of
intimacy became louder and more intense.  Caroline gasped and rushed up the
steps, bumping into Patsie at the top of the staircase.

“Ye be leaving
soon then?”

“I. . .I’m not
certain, Patsie.”

She did not want
Patsie to see her flushed condition so she responded, “I think I shall wait
with Elizabeth in the parlor.” Caroline leaned in to hug the round woman.
Patsie held her so tightly and Caroline wanted to remain in her safe embrace. 

Patsie whispered,
“I sure do be missin’ ye here.”  As Caroline stepped back, Patsie seemed to be
studying her face.

“Miss Caroline,
sure an’ are ye bein’ all right, me lamb?”

“Yes, yes, I’m
fine, just. . .” Patsie lifted Caroline’s chin and studied her face. Patsie’s
eyes narrowed. Leaning in close to her ear, Patsie asked,  “Are ye missin’ yer
monthlies already?”

Caroline stared
at her.  “My monthlies?”

“Sure an’ I was
hopin’ ye’d be with child soon.”

“With child?I
haven’t really been keeping track.  I suppose I have missed one.  But it’s only
a month since the wedding.”

“Sure an’ that’s
all it takes.  I’m after thinkin’ it’d be foin if ye were.”  The servant
paused.  “Well, sure an’ I hope ye be visitin’ us again soon.”

Caroline nodded
and pondered what Patsie had said.  For a few seconds she became distracted.

“There you are,
Carrie.”  Her cousin walked toward her in the foyer.  “Patsie, did Carrie
instruct you to find David?”

“No, Miss
‘Lizabeth.”

“No, I didn’t. I.
. .”

“I’d be glad to
find Mr. David for ye, Miss Caroline.”

“Thank you. 
Please let him know I’ll be waiting out front.”

“Yes, ‘course,”
she said. 

“Good bye,
Patsie.”

“Good bye.  Ye be
takin’ good care of yerself now.”

“I will.”

“Carrie, are you
feeling well?  You look a bit flushed.”

“Well, now that
you mention it, I don’t feel so well.”

“Truly?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I just bet
anything that you’re carrying,” her cousin whispered into her ear.

“It’s far too
soon to know for sure.”

“But you’re not
feeling well.  That’s one of the signs, I’m told.”

“I’m going to wait
outside for a moment and get some fresh air.”

“Then I shall
come and stay with you, Carrie.”

The two girls
chatted on the veranda for several moments.  Soon, David came to the porch
area.  Caroline kept her head down and facing away from him. 

“Good day, Elizabeth.”

“Good day,
David.”

“Are you ready,
Caroline?”

“I. . .”

“Make certain
that you ride slowly.  Dear Carrie is not feeling well.”

“Do you need some
assistance?” she heard him say. 

Caroline shook
her head.  “No, no, I’m fine,” she said, her voice shaking, her eyes continuing
to avoid contact with him. 

David spoke up. 
“I’m waiting for Ben to hitch the horses.”

The buggy pulled
up to the front of the house. Ben got out and handed the reins to David.

Elizabeth hugged
Caroline.  She whispered, “Let me know how you are feeling.”

Caroline nodded,
but kept her gaze focused on the horse and carriage.

David stepped
forward and assisted her on to the seat, then pulled himself in and took the
reins.

As they rode off,
Caroline looked up and waved to Elizabeth, then kept silent.

“Did you have a
pleasant visit?” His deep voice was just above a whisper.

“Fine,” she said
curtly.

“Lee asked me to
apologize.  He had to meet with a client regarding an emergency situation.”

She nodded but
kept silent.

“You’re not
feeling well?”

She did not
respond.

“Do you want me
to pull over?”

Caroline shook
her head.

A moment or so of
silence passed before David spoke up.  “Did something happen at your uncle’s
house?”

She shot him a
fleeting glance to see if he was teasing her, looking at him square in the
eyes, but his expression was full of concern.

“Please, just. .
.”

She looked away
and if it had been possible to do so, she would have turned her back to him.
She refused to discuss this any further, most especially with him.

For the next
minute or so, he was silent, respecting her wish. Then he spoke up.

“This is about
me, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know
what. . .you mean,” she said, keeping her face away from him.

She could hear
him sigh as he pulled over to the side of the road.  A few unpleasant moments
dragged by, with only the sounds of their breathing and the occasional chirping
bird filling the air.

“Caroline, you
were never a good liar.”

“David, please.”

“Look at me.”

“Take us home.”

“I’m not taking
us home until you look at me.”

Caroline slowly
turned her body so that her face was now visible to him, although she avoided
eye contact and said nothing.