In My Sister's Shadow (11 page)

“Has she come back?” he asked, his tone still soaked in anger.

“No, actually she hasn’t.”

“And you know why, right?”

“I believe so.”

“And why do you think that is?” He leaned back on her couch, placing his arms behind his head.

“Because…I told you it was over.”

“Exactamundo! But you know what is so interesting, Bijou?” he asked, not waiting for an answer. “She is now full force in my house. She is leaving you alone, since you swore off of me.”

Bijou felt her stomach drop down, as if she were on a rollercoaster that had just descended for the first three hundred foot hill, going straight down into nothingness.

“Whu…What?”

“Yeah, so you your plan backfired. Now that you’re finished running around calling priests, or TV show hosts that think this shit is about ratings and funny, you can get your coat. We’re leaving to pay Aunt Clarabelle a visit.”

“What for?”

 “You are in way over your head. I know that when getting to know someone, it takes time to trust, Bijou, but you didn’t tell me
everything
about Rhine.”

“Like what?” Bijou continued to stare ahead, trying to keep her expression blank.

“That she was sick in the head, and you helped take care of her…you left that little tidbit out!”

Bijou closed her eyes and rubbed her lips together. She cradled her head in her hands. “I thought I made it clear that she wasn’t quite right. Why else would I put up with how she treated me at times, Mark? She was a good person though. Her illness wasn’t her fault.”

“Bijou, you’re too mysterious. There are too many things about you that are straight up bizarre. Ironically, that is what drew me to you in the first place. Your beauty is out of place, almost haunting – you look like a walking painting, even with your hair all over your head. It’s like you aren’t even real. Then, you’re twenty-eight years old and have been a virgin this entire time, and you decide that I will be the one, of all people, you will give your virginity to.” He laughed a mirthless laugh. “Believe me, I’m flattered and that night will be forever in my mind, but you just keep secret after secret, and I don’t like it. You are not in this alone. I’m affected by everything that happens, too.”

Bijou stood slowly and held her elbows as she continued to listen to him. She could see he had to get this off his chest; there was no need to interrupt him or try to explain herself. He needed to tell her off, so that they could move forward.

 “Then, last but not least, your sister was out of her mind but you completely downplayed it, and yes that matters because we aren’t just dealing with her spirit; we are dealing with her angry, unreasonable spirit!”

Bijou turned to him, her nerves shot. She was on the verge of losing complete control and she knew he could see it.

“Look, Bijou, I’m just trying to figure out what is going on here, OK? We have to work as a team. No more running away, no more half stories.”

“I haven’t been lying to you.”

“You haven’t been exactly all the way truthful, either.”

“You want to know why I chose you to lose my virginity with, don’t you?” she sighed.

“That would be a start.”

“I understand that no one expects a woman of my age to still be a virgin. I’ve dated plenty and no one knew or if they did, they never said anything. I had come close a few times; I just knew, in my heart, it wasn’t the right person. With you, something clicked, Mark. I knew after our first date that there was just something about you that made me feel completely comfortable. I was really attracted to you, too. You embodied the type of guy I was looking for. I was…I
am
, in a bad place right now. I needed the comfort, as well. I needed to feel loved…I needed to be held, kissed.” She took his hand. “I needed to be made love to and despite what happened afterward, it was perfect, Mark.”

Mark was quiet as he listened to her. She watched him rub his chin, and looked at her thoughtfully.

“OK, so you’ve answered ‘why me?’, but what about everything else, Bijou? What exactly was going on with your sister?”

“No one really knows, to be quite honest.” Bijou looked up at the ceiling then back down. “She was very smart and functional but there was a side to her that was self-destructive. She had plenty of Southern charm when she wanted to, but the paranoia…Jesus. That’s the best way I can describe it. I watched over her, I had to. Then, she met her fiancé and she seemed to really calm down. All she wanted was love, just like everyone else. She went to the doctor and he told her she was stressed out.” She sighed. “He put her on this medicine, and whatever it was, it really did seem to help. We always argued less when she took her medicine and she got her job, then met her fiancé. When she got off the medicine, the shit would hit the fan again. It was
always
something.” She waved her hand. “Please don’t say anything bad about her…”

“A little part of you was relieved when she died; that is what this is really about, the guilt.” Mark blurted. “You were relieved because then, you could finally breath!”

“What?”

“Look Bijou, we are done playing games, do you hear me? I’m in the grief and guilt business! Did you forget that? The worse the grief, the more the guilt! The bigger the guilt, the more lavish the casket! You stood there at that funeral, not saying one stinking word. You didn’t show any emotion because you were already drained and a little part of you felt like shit for knowing you were finally free. I know exactly what happened here. You – ”

“That is not – ”

“Just stop it!” He grimaced and reached out to her, pulled her close. “You don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you feel and you need to be done, completely
finished
feeling sorry about it. If we are going to get through this, you have to come clean to yourself. You don’t owe me or anyone else an explanation for this, but you better tell the truth to yourself! She took you through hell, and you are still standing here defending her after trying to split us up. We’re
done
leaving this in your hands. You’re
finished
fighting alone.” He took her hand, and pulled her with him towards the front door. “Now let’s go, your aunt is waiting.”

* * *

“Yes, she did.”

Clarabelle laughed as she moved her wide, floral print covered hips in her crowded kitchen. The yellow wallpaper with illustrations of old-fashioned flour and sugar bags aided in the room’s congested feeling. Not one spot of counter space was available, regardless of the neatly organized and stacked bottles of unknown powders and ointments. Her dark auburn and silver hair was tied up in plaits and partially covered with a dark red silk scarf.

“Your mother married into our family not knowin’ what she was getting’ into.” The heavy-set, attractive woman laughed. She was at least seventy, but looked to be in her sixties with not one wrinkle on her beige skin with naturally ruby cheeks. Her eyes, almost pitch black, looked eerily out of place on her pale skin, and their lids, just like Bijou’s, were heavy, adorned with long, envy-worthy dark lashes.

Bijou and Mark remained quiet as they practically sat on top of each other, holding hands underneath the table that was now covered with boiled chicken bones and a pot of pork fat back.

“You know, ya Uncle Pete never comes by here hardly anymore. He’s been sick a lot lately and needs to take this medicine I have for him. I tried visitin’ him, but he was sound asleep. Next time, I’ll be lettin’ myself in. Anyhow, I’m glad he called me and told me about your problem, Bijou.” The woman smiled at Bijou, seeming to sense her trepidation. “You ain’t gotta be afraid of me, baby.” She laughed heartedly. “Everyone knows what I do, but I don’t hurt folk, I don’t believe in that.” She winked at her great niece, causing an uneasy smile to bud across Bijou’s face. “You sure are pretty, Bijou.”

“Thank you,” Bijou said quietly.

“You and Rhine, I tell ya, when you two were born, people would not quiet down about how gorgeous you both were and then you only got prettier as each year passed. I ain’t got much good to say about my nephew, no offense.” Her eyebrow rose as she sighed.

“None taken, Aunt Clarabelle.” Bijou faintly smiled.

“OK, now,” she pulled out a chair across from them and plopped down into it with a chilled glass of iced cold Pepsi. “Can I speak candid wit’ you, in front of your man-friend here? Things I’m going to say might be a little embarassin’, so if you need him to leave, just say the word and then I can get started.”

Mark looked at Bijou and gripped her hand tighter. “If you want some privacy, Bijou, it’s no problem.”

“No.” Bijou looked up at him. “I’ve not been as open with you as I’d like to have been. I want everything out on the table – this involves you now, too. Aunt Clarabelle, please, go right ahead.”

“Alright.”

She took a long swig from her glass and placed it back on the table, her meaty hand clutching it as the trails of condensation ran down it. “Your mother did as many women have. She fell for a pretty face, my nephew, and boy was he pretty…so much so, he used it to his advantage to do wrong by folk. Now…” She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her large breasts. “Your mother was in a shameful way. She got pregnant wit’ you before she was married to your father. Despite his faults, my nephew still wanted to do the right thing and marry her. So, she had a quick weddin’ to hide the pregnancy but those of us that knew our math,” she chuckled, “put it all together. You wuddn’t no preemie…eight lbs. nearly.”

Bijou sat there in shock. Her mouth literally dropped open. “I…didn’t know.”

“Well, sorry to break it to you like this, but that’s what happened. That wedding was quick, fast and in a hurry.” She smoothed out her skirt. “So, when Rhine was born, and the way she behaved, your mother thought that it was a curse because she had sinned. I guess she just supposed the consequences came a bit later, wit’ her second child.”

“She saw Rhine as a curse?”

“I suppose you could say that, but I believe she loved Rhine very much. She knew, soon after she was born, somethin’ wasn’t right. Rhine would cry all day and night, screaming at the top of her lungs, and she didn’t respond to pain. You could tap her hand; she could fall hard, and not seem to notice. No one knew what was going on with her and your mother wouldn’t talk about it anymore after a while.”

Clarabelle took a deep breath and looked sharply at Mark.

“Ain’t no sense in us pussy footin’ around this. You and your friend here are in love. Your sister is very angry about this, Bijou.”

Bijou lowered her head and looked into her lap.

Mark looked at both women, confusion all over his face, but he remained quiet.

“Bijou is angry because she’s jealous. She saw Mark first, and wanted him…”

“What? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Don’t tell me ’bout what doesn’t make sense, Bijou. You are here because your sister has been haunting you.” Clarabelle looked over at Mark. “And she all but seduced this man right here!”

Bijou shot him a look. Mark quickly turned away.

“I took a look at everythang before you two got over here. I talked to Rhine, and she said she saw him first and you are trying to take him away. Mark?”

“Yes?”

“She knows you love her sister, and that makes her even angrier. Rhine, though, doesn’t understand that she isn’t still alive. She thinks she can make this different. She thinks she finally found someone she can feel in a deep, heartfelt way about. She said Mark touched her so lovingly, said sweet things to her…”

Mark closed his eyes and lowered his head. “I…I sometimes talk to the bodies as I prepare them. I speak to them, as if they were alive. I know, it’s kind of strange, it’s just a habit.”

Clarabelle waved him off and rolled her eyes. “It ain’t strange to me. I talk to dead folk all the time. I think what you did was real nice, but she saw it as flirtin’, and now we have a problem because she thinks she is in competition with Bijou.”

“Well, how do we stop this? How do we make her stop this and get her to move on?”

“Bijou, you’ve coddled your sister much too long. She may have been crazy, but she knew right from wrong. I can’t do it, I can’t stop her – it will have to be you and Mark. It’s time for a showdown, niece. This should have happened in life, so that there would be no confusion. You should have put your foot down, drawn a line in the sand. She mistook your kindness for weakness. She manipulated you, toyed with your sympathies.”

Clarabelle stood, opened up a kitchen cabinet and began to slowly pull out various bottles.

“I’m going to tell you two exactly what to do, and you need to follow my instructions to the letter. Don’t deviate, no matter how bad it gets. If you two want to be together…and Mark, if you want her out of your life…this will have to happen just how I say it’s s’pose to. Now listen carefully…”

* * *

Seven days later on the full moon…