In My Head (2 page)

He grasps my shoulders and turns me around to look at him. All the while I stand there frozen. “Lyla, I’ve been trying like hell to get you to see how I feel about you.”

“Is this some kind of joke? It isn’t April. This is seriously fucked up, even for you, if you’re toying with me,” I growl at him.

“Sunshine, why would I play around with you about this? I’ve seen the way you check me out when you think I’m not paying attention. What you fail to see, though, is how I look at you. Even when you’re looking.”

This is like a dream come true. Finding out that the guy you’ve been lusting after is actually into you after all. Is it possible to go from good friends to boyfriend and girlfriend? Without it being weird?

“Now, let me take you to the bar and buy you a drink. I have no expectations of tonight. I just want to get to you know better, but know that I don’t want to see you with another guy after tonight. You’ve been mine for a while now, you just didn’t know it.” When he smiles at me it’s like I lose all coherent thoughts, that smile does dirty things to me. Every. Single. Time.

We’ve been sitting at the bar ever since he told me the truth. I’m unaware of how much time has gone by. The next thing I know “last call” is being shouted throughout the bar.

“You want to come back to my house?” His green eyes are so hopeful. It’s not like I haven’t been back to his house before. Since we ran into each other, and became more comfortable with each other, we’ve been to each other’s houses a lot. But this is different. So different.

I look away from his intense green eyes, and mumble, “Sure.”

WALKING IN HIS FRONT
door, he leads the way to the kitchen where I hop on yet another bar stool. I put my arms up on the counter top and prop my head on my hands. Watching Ben work his way around the kitchen making me a drink gives me a minute to check him out.

He’s wearing dark wash jeans, and a tight black button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, black Chucks, and a light blue beanie. The beanie is the only amount of color he has showing. I know for a fact he has the start of a sleeve on one of his arms that has a lot of color in it, but they’re covered up.

“What makes you decide you want a specific tattoo?” I break our silence as he turns to place a drink in front of me.

“Meh, whatever strikes my fancy is usually what triggers me wanting a tattoo,” he tells me.

“I don’t have any tattoos. I’ve always wanted one, but never could decide on one when it came down to it.”

“Well, I can draw. If you can think of something you want, let me know and I’ll draw it up for you.” I smile at him, but don’t say anything.

We just sit there and stare at each other. My eyes scan over his face, finally locking in on his eyes. Trying like hell to read into his mind through those green depths. I want to be cautious of him, but I want to dive head first into it. What does that say about me?

I sigh. “What do you want from me, Ben?” I need to know before we go any further.

“Lyla, I may not always be right about things when it comes to my life. But I know I’m right about this. You’ve given my life a giant amount of sunshine in the short time I’ve known you. You’ve brought a smile to my face, even when I’m not with you. The only thing left, that would make me even happier, is giving yourself to me. One-hundred percent giving yourself over to me, to this, to explore what we could have. Because, Sunshine, what we have started could be some great fucking romance. One that I don’t want to let myself miss out on.”

Well. What do you say to all that? I stand up, walk over to him on the other side of the counter, and press myself against his front. Running my hands up his chest, up the sides of his neck, and into his hair. I push my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, the hair that’s too long to fit under his beanie. I pull his head down to mine, and right before I press my lips against his, I whisper, “I can’t miss out on something great, either.” Then I kiss him, and he furiously kisses me back. And if our kiss is telling of our future, it will be nothing short of passionate.

About ten months later

I’M WALKING DOWN
the hallway after leaving my first class of the day when my phone beeps. Pausing, I shift my books from one arm to the other so I can reach into my messenger bag. Touching the button to light up my phone I see I have a text from Ben. I roll my eyes; he’s been trying to get me to skip one of my class days with him.

We haven’t been able to mesh our schedules much during the week to spend a whole lot of time together. On Friday nights, I pack a bag and I go over to Ben’s apartment, and I don’t return until Sunday night sometimes even Monday morning. Michelle enjoys her alone time, now she doesn’t need to text me and tell me to get out if she’s trying to bring a guy home.

Swiping at the screen, I open up the text to see that this is yet another attempt to get me away from classes and into his clutches.

Ben: Why don’t you come over to my apartment?

Me: I have two more classes today. I can’t really skip them, Ben.

Even though I always tell him no, he never gives up.

Ben: You have an A in all of your classes, you can miss one day. It won’t hurt anything.

Before I can respond another text comes through.

Ben: You can do your makeup work and everything will be fine.

I chew on my bottom lip and really consider it, I don’t think we’re doing much of anything except working on reports and what not. And I’m already ahead on everything we’re working on. I stop walking and turn around, heading back towards the lot where my car is parked.

Me: All right, be ready, Cowboy. I’m on my way.

Shoving my phone back into my bag, I root around for my keys. Having them in hand for when I get to the car. Tracing my steps back to my car seems to take longer than before. I’m anxious to get to his apartment. Even without knowing what he has planned, I’m kind of excited. The thrill of skipping class is adding to the excitement. Not that I could get in trouble for it like I would have in high school.

Picking up my pace when I see my car. I practically run the rest of the way to my older Chevy Cobalt, a gift from my parents for graduation. I walk over to the passenger side to open that door first, throwing my bag and books in I slam the door and walk over to the driver side.

I open the door to the driver’s side and I’m just about to slide in and shut the door when I hear my name being yelled from across the parking lot. I step away from the car and glance around the parking lot, trying to find the source of the voice.

I’m kind of shocked when I see it’s a girl from my next class, she must be running late.

“Hey, Lori. What’s up?” This girl doesn’t usually talk to me in class, so I’m a little confused as to why she’s sprinting across the parking lot to me.

“Hey!” She’s a little out of breath from her run, and her bright red hair is sticking out in all directions. Wild and crazy from the humidity. “Do you have your notes from class last week? I lost mine, and our douche of a professor wouldn’t help me out by giving me the section where the notes came from.”

“Oh, sure. Let me just grab them real fast.” I walk around to the other side of the car, again, and open the door. Rifling through my bag, I pull out my folder containing the notes I need. Sifting through all of the loose paper I finally come to the one I need. Turning around I hand it over to her.

“Sweet, you’re a lifesaver. I’ll get this copied and then get it back to you.” She must finally realize that I’m not going to class. “You skipping out today? I don’t blame you, that class is boring as shit.”

I nod at her seriously. That class bores me to tears. “Yes, it is so boring! I’m heading over to my boyfriend’s house to hang out with him for today.”

She starts to back away from me. “All right, well, have fun. If we have to take any notes, I’ll make a copy for you so you have them. Thanks again!” She turns after I wave to her and tell her I’ll see her next week.

Going back to my side of the car, I finally hop in and start the car up. Putting the car in drive I back out of my spot and drive towards Ben’s. His apartment is off of campus, and he’s lucky he doesn’t have to share with anyone. We both lived in a dorm our freshman year, but then his parents paid for him to live off of campus in a swanky apartment no college stupid should have.

My parents found Michelle and me a small apartment off campus. Which isn’t awful, but lack of space kind of sucks. Michelle’s stuff and mine seem to overlap a lot.

I drive into the parking lot of Ben’s apartment building, pulling my car into the empty spot next to his car. Turning the car off, I grab my bag and pull it out the door with me. Slamming the door behind me, I hit the lock button twice to lock the car and arm the alarm. An alarm that I don’t even know if it works or not.

Walking up the stairs I go to his door, and don’t even get a chance to knock before the door is swung open and Ben’s hand snatches my arm and pulls me into the apartment. He shuts the door behind me, and slams me against the wood of the door. Just about knocking the breath out of me.

He takes my bag over my head and tosses it to the side.

“God, Sunshine. I’ve missed you so much, I’m so happy you skipped class to come hang out with me.” He presses a kiss to my lips. Once, twice, and then on the third lingers longer. He doesn’t try to make out with me, but he leaves his lips on mine. His eyes are closed, his arms skim up mine, and wrap around my shoulders. Pulling me into him.

“Are you hungry? I can make some food, if you are.” He always tries to care for me first, before anything else.

Shaking my head, I slip my hand into his and pull him towards the living room. Getting him to stand in front of the couch takes a little finagling but I finally get him where I want him. Then I push him onto the couch.

“Oh, what’s this?” he asks me playfully.

Climbing onto the couch, I straddle his hips and wrap my arms around his neck. “I’m pretty sure you know exactly what’s going on here.” I lean down and press a few light kisses to his lips. “I want to take a nap.”

Ben bursts out laughing, shaking his head at me. “You’re something else you know that?” We lay down on the couch, facing each other. He grabs the blanket off the back of the couch and covers us up. And it isn’t long before I’m passed out with his arms wrapped around me. Making me the safest and most loved I’ve ever felt.

About a year later

WE LEFT CAMPUS TODAY,
just to get away for a day. We have finals coming up next week and Ben thought we needed something to do besides shove our faces into our books. I didn’t know how right he was until we pulled into the parking garage for the Indians baseball team in Cleveland.

Now, it’s been a long time since I’ve been to a baseball game. But apparently my guy is like a boy scout. I didn’t know we were coming to a game today, or I would have worn a shirt. Gotta support the home team and all that. But Ben had one for me in the trunk of his car. Like I said, a boy scout.

We made our way into the park, got stocked up on some food and went to our seats right behind the Indians dugout. I’m just hoping that we don’t get smacked with a ball or anything. God, could you imagine the pain from that?