In My Father's Shadow (18 page)

“Everything okay, Al?” he asked, startling her out of
her thoughts.

She smiled nervously and nibbled her bottom lip.
“I…uh…want you to kiss me but I don’t really know how to ask.”

He laughed gently. “I think you just did.”

She blushed and ducked her head. He tipped her chin
and caught her eyes with his amused ones. “I can’t believe you want
me to kiss you while Orlando Bloom is on the television,” he said
in mock disbelief.

His teasing relaxed her enough to play coy. “It was a
difficult decision.”

His eyes darkened as he moved closer to her. “Let’s
see Orlando top this,” he said as his lips met hers.

She brought her hand up to his neck and played with
the strands of his hair. He situated his body, never breaking the
kiss, so that he was lying on his side and hovering over her so she
wouldn’t have to twist or aggravate her ankle. She sighed into his
mouth and brought her other hand around to his back, under his
shirt, and she delighted in the shiver her touch caused.

Conflicting emotions were waging a war inside her
head – especially when he followed her lead and allowed a shy hand
under her shirt, fingers brushing her side. One part of her wanted
to continue, wanted him to undress her and touch her body. She
wanted to feel their bodies come together, skin on skin, each
exploring the other.

But the other side of her brain urged her to slow
down and rethink things. Not too long ago Cole was a friend – her
best friend. Was she really ready to shift gears so quickly?

Who cares?
she thought as she grasped the hem
of his shirt and tugged it up his body, breaking the kiss only to
pull the shirt over his head. He trailed his lips along her jaw and
her neck, making her shudder as her hands splayed across his bare
back. She twisted, trying to get closer, and a bolt of pain shot up
her leg so fast she couldn’t stop the cry of pain that escaped her
lips.

He pulled away, his breath heaving, and looked into
her eyes. “Al, you okay?” he asked.

She nodded and bit her swollen lip.

He slowly came back to his senses and gently tugged
her shirt back into place. He rolled to his back, fumbled on the
floor until he found his shirt, and quickly pulled it over his
head.

“What are you doing?” she asked, voice holding in the
pain she didn’t want him to see.

He stroked her cheek lightly. “We need to stop, Al,”
he said. She started to protest but he put a finger to her lips.
“Let me get your pain meds.”

She flopped an arm over her eyes and felt the bed
give as he got up and padded almost silently into the bathroom. She
mentally berated her ankle for acting up and ruining a perfect
moment – even though she wasn’t quite sure if she should have
continued.

“Sit up a bit, Al,” he said, alerting her of his
return. She sighed and propped her upper body with one arm while
reaching for the medicine with her other hand. He waited while she
finished the water and handed him the glass. He smiled weakly and
took the glass to the bathroom.

He came back into the room, located the remote, and
perched on the edge of her bed. He shut off the movie and turned to
face her.

“I better go, Al,” he said.

“Don’t leave, Cole,” she begged, clutching his
arm.

He smiled sadly, his eyes only meeting hers for a
brief second. “It’s getting late, Jeana will be back soon and you
need to rest.”

She knew he wasn’t going to budge – he needed to put
some space between them just as she did. She bit her bottom lip and
nodded, bowing her head.

“Okay. Thanks for the pizza and the movies,” she
said, fighting pesky tears that seemed so close to the surface
lately.

He cupped her face and kissed her softly. “I’ll see
you tomorrow, Al. Rest that ankle, okay?”

“Sure,” she said with a fake smile, already feeling
woozy. “Goodnight.”

He slipped out the door as she snuggled into her
pillow, eyes closed. Things had escalated faster than she had
anticipated but that’s what happened when you were in a
relationship, right?

She frowned. Her mother always told her there’d be
plenty of time for sex when she was older, that she didn’t need to
rush into a sex life at a young age. Ally had always agreed –
hadn’t wanted to get into the whole sex issue while she was still
in high school. But, she wasn’t sure that was the case anymore.
There was a lot of fire between her and Cole – plenty of
chemistry.

“Mom always said sex was best if it was between two
people who loved and respected each other,” she whispered aloud. “I
love and respect Cole.” She opened her eyes and stared into the
darkness. “I love and respect RJ and Jamie, too, and I don’t want
to have sex with them.” As if to prove her point, a shudder ran
through her.

Maybe it was best that Cole left when he had.
Although she knew she loved all three boys fiercely, she wasn’t
quite sure how different that love for Cole was and if it was
strong enough to survive a sexual relationship.

She closed her eyes again as a solution popped into
her head. She’d talk to Cole. She’d explain how confused she was
and ask him what he thought. He’d be honest and they’d figure it
out together.

With the matter settled, she slipped into sleep.

Chapter Fifteen

Cole drove home slowly, all alone, and mulled over
his thoughts. The last few weeks had been interesting, to say the
least, and he knew that he’d lost favor in Ally’s eyes. The pain in
his heart hadn’t lessened in the slightest at his treatment over
her, but he couldn’t help it. He thought about the night of the
Fall Festival dance and ignored the thrill that encompassed his
body and focused instead on the guilt. Things had escalated so fast
that if her ankle hadn’t started hurting her, he knew what would
have happened.

Yes, he wanted her; that feeling hadn’t faded in the
least. Every time he closed his eyes he remembered how her skin had
felt under his fingers and how warm she’d been in his arms. He
recalled every single moan that had escaped her lips and how she
had clung to him. He knew that if he hadn’t stopped when he did, he
would have taken her. And he hated himself for it. No matter what
she said, he knew she wasn’t ready. He didn’t even think he was
ready for that sort of step with the girl he’d grown up with – the
girl who’d been his best friend his entire life.

The problem was that he didn’t know how he felt about
the way their relationship had shifted. He cared a lot about her –
always had – and he was certain he loved her in that friend sort of
way. But did he love her in the other sort of way? He wasn’t sure.
He wasn’t sure about much of anything at this point. He just needed
a little time to sort things in his mind.

So, he’d taken the cowardly way out and cooled things
between them. He ached for her every day but he just couldn’t trust
himself around her. And he couldn’t even bring himself to tell her
why.

She was upset at his lack of attention he could tell.
Actually, she was pissed and he knew it. But he didn’t know what to
tell her – he didn’t know what to tell himself. Jamie and RJ
hounded him at first but they finally slacked off as his moods grew
darker and darker. He had told them he didn’t want to talk about
Ally, he just wanted to concentrate on his dad’s wedding and once
that was over, he’d figure things out. He had pushed his growing
feelings for her to the side and focused on what was going on at
home instead.

He followed the winding drive through the sparse
trees until the large, looming two story house came into view. He
grinned. He loved his house with its large but cozy family room,
huge basement with a rec room and a music room, and the gymnasium
that his father had added on to the back of the house. And his room
was pretty big with a great view of the grounds and his own private
bathroom. No, they didn’t have all the acreage that Jay and Liz
Jones had, but he didn’t think they needed it. They didn’t have
horses like Ally.

He parked in front of the garage and grabbed his bag
from the backseat. He followed the flagstone path to the wide,
stone porch and unlocked the front door. He shouted out for his
father though he doubted seriously if Nate would hear him; he was
probably goofing off in the music room or something.

A tall, leggy brunette walked into the foyer and
smiled, her bright hazel eyes sparkling. “You must be Cole.”

Not only was she tall, but she was thin and curvy –
sort of like the models that graced the swimsuit editions of the
sports magazines Jamie regularly received. Her facial features were
soft and what some men, himself included, would consider beautiful.
Her hair was a deep, chestnut brown and it cascaded down her back
in waves. Images of Ally briefly ran through his mind and he
cleared his head.

“And you would be?” he asked, suddenly realizing he
didn’t know her yet she was wandering through his house.

“I’m Stephanie,” she smiled brilliantly, extending
her hand. “I’m Stacy’s daughter.”

He shook her hand. “Where’s my dad?”

“He’s at the hall with my mom finalizing all the
arrangements,” she said. She dropped her arm to her side and
shrugged. “Nate told me to just make myself at home. I guess I
should, huh, since I’ll be living here now.”

“I thought you lived with your dad?” Cole asked,
narrowing his eyes.

“Well, things aren’t that great there,” Stephanie
said with a pained smile. “Dad’s got this new girlfriend and I
don’t think she’s a whole lot older than me.”

He shrugged, dropped his bag, and pushed past her to
head to the kitchen. He opened the fridge, grabbed a soda, popped
the top, and downed half of it in one drink. He belched loudly and
smirked.

“That’s kind of disgusting,” she asked with a
laugh.

He grinned, pulled out a cigarette, and lit it.
“Sorry.”

“My mom hates it when people smoke,” she said as they
both sat at the breakfast bar.

He laughed bitterly. “Yeah but it’s still my dad’s
house – at least until after the wedding.”

She furrowed her brow as she studied him carefully.
“You don’t want them to marry? I thought my mom said you were cool
with it?”

“Nah, I like Stacy. I like Stacy a lot. She’s good
for my dad and makes him happy.” He slumped and dropped his
cigarette into his soda can, listening to it sizzle as the smoke
rushed out of the opening. “I’m just being a jerk. Sorry. It’s been
a rough couple of weeks.”

“Want to talk about it?” she offered, her eyes
friendly, her smile warm.

He sighed. “Thanks, but I’d rather not think about it
right now.”

***

Nate and Stacy came home a few hours later to the
sound of laughter drifting from the kitchen. They looked at each
other in confusion and pushed the doors open to find their children
surrounded by empty soda cans and playing some kind of combination
card/dice game.

“Cole,” Nate asked, eyes wide in surprise.

“Hey, Dad,” he said as he leapt to his feet and
rushed around the table to jerk his father into a quick hug. He
bent over to kiss Stacy’s cheek.

“What are you doing?”

Cole laughed, though it didn’t sound genuine. “I
don’t know, really. I think Steph is making up the rules as she
goes along.”

“I did not just make it up,” Stephanie protested.
“It’s a real game.”

“Did you give Ally and Alec a ride home?” Nate
persisted.

“Nope,” Cole answered, not looking at his dad. “They
rode with Jamie.”

Nate nodded as if Cole had answered a silent
question. “Oh, okay. Um, well, don’t stay up too late, all
right?”

Cole looked at his dad and flashed a smile that
didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yep, no problem.”

Nate grabbed his shoulder and squeezed. “We have a
long day tomorrow.”

Cole snorted. “Don’t you mean you do? You’re the one
getting shackled to the old ball and chain.”

Stacy gasped, her green eyes wide. “Cole Nathan!” He
laughed as she grabbed a handful of popcorn and threw it at
him.

“I was kidding, Stacy,” he protested, laughing even
harder.

Nate shook his head at his son in amusement. “What
happened to all that suave charm you used to have?”

Cole shrugged as he cleaned up the popcorn mess. “I
must have used it all.” He looked at his dad and Stacy. “Go to bed.
I’ll clean this up.”

“Thanks,” Nate told him as he steered Stacy out of
the kitchen.

“I’ll help,” Stephanie offered and as they cleaned
together, Cole started to feel like he actually had a real
family.

***

“It was a beautiful ceremony, don’t you think?” Jeana
asked Ally as she sat next to her.

“Umm hmm,” Ally agreed, and it was. Nate and Stacy
were married at the beautiful Garden of Eden hall, which had been
decorated with gorgeous pink and teal roses. Stacy had been dressed
in a simple, off-white gown with spaghetti straps and a skirt that
extended to her feet. Her blonde hair was pulled back and adorned
with pink roses. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkling.
Ally thought she looked absolutely lovely.

They had just finished a candle light dinner and were
waiting for the DJ to start playing. Ally had hobbled up to kiss
and hug Nate and his new bride, but had remained in her seat since.
She’d stubbornly not greeted Cole, who’d been engaged in
conversation with a member of Stacy’s family, nor had she the
opportunity to be introduced to Stacy’s tall, beautiful
daughter.

So she pouted silently in her seat, cursing her
broken ankle for keeping her from being able to float effortlessly
through the crowd. The pain had diminished quite a bit in the past
three weeks, as well as her bruises, but the cast still hampered
her.

The DJ finally made his way to the booth sitting high
above the dance floor and announced it was time for the newlyweds
to have their first dance. Ally smiled as Nate and Stacy made their
way to the floor and Nate tugged her close, wrapping his arms
around her. Ally always loved Nate best and her heart filled with
joy at the happiness in his face. She’d always secretly feared that
Nate was lonely – especially since Cole spent most of his time away
at boarding school.