In My Dreams (First Tracks Book 2) (2 page)

Avery

The hospital felt like a funny mix of constant busyness and
stationary waiting, of voices and noise but also silence, of life changing
seriousness for the patients and families but just an ordinary workday for the
staff. I stood in the breezeway, gazing out a window at a blank sheen of gray
clouds, while conversations floated by behind me. 

A touch on my arm made me jump and turn. Elaina smiled
uncertainty, and I noticed she had the same amber eyes as Marcus. So far my
impression of her was a soft, sweet woman, but I think there must be a strong
streak in there somewhere. There had to be since she raised a son like Marcus.

“Oh, sorry, honey, I didn’t mean to startle you. He wants to
see you.”

I nodded and mumbled thanks as I hurried back to his room.
Even now, it was a shock to see him lying there with the bruises on his face,
the cast on his arm, and mostly the open eyes looking at me.

“Come here.” Marcus tried for a smile and held a hand out to
me. “I need you.”

I sat on his beside him and lay down, carefully arranging
myself around him. “Think they’ll give us a while?” I asked softly, hoping my
voice didn’t sound too emotional.

“Yeah.” His voice was barely a whisper. He rubbed circles on
my back while I hung onto him. I listened to him breathe and felt the rise and fall
of his chest under me. I wanted to hold him and feel him, to know he was really
here and not going anywhere. Then he asked, “What are you thinking?”

“I’m just so happy to feel you against me.” A second later I
laughed lightly. “And guess what? I can have secrets now.”

He fell quiet and my laugh died. That felt strange too—now
we’d have to share our thoughts if we wanted the other to know, and now we had
the option to hold some thoughts back.

“Do you want secrets?” he asked, his voice more serious than
I liked.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” I lifted my head to look into
his eyes for a minute before lying on his chest again. “I just meant, now you
don’t know every thought running through my head.”

He gave a small chuckle. “Goes two ways, Tiger Lily.”

A chill ran down my back, under the spot where he rubbed. It
was just a joke. We were both adjusting to this, figuring it out, but I wanted
to hear his thoughts behind the comment. Did he have things to hide? We’d
gotten to know each other so well, so intimately, that I couldn’t imagine not
experiencing life on a thought by thought basis with him. Would we lose our
connection, our closeness?

 “So what are you thinking?”

He laughed. “The same, I guess. I’m so happy to hold you and
look at you, and have my body back. I want to kiss you, really kiss you, like
we were daydreaming. Remember that?”

“Um, yeah…” Heat pooled as images raced through my head of
all the things we’d wanted to do before. His fingertips traced over my
shoulder.

“There’s so much coming back, I don’t know where to begin.
It’s like a puzzle with a million pieces spread all over the table right now.”

“I know what you mean,” I say, and then he joined me in
saying, “But we’ll figure it out.” That made us laugh together again.

My face buried in his chest, I lightly ran my hand over him
and bumped into the cast on his arm. Suddenly I felt like a jerk for bringing
his guitar here, but it had made him smile when he saw it.

It was his right arm in a cast, but I thought (hoped) he was
left handed. I wanted to ask, but I didn’t want to remind him. It’d been a
while since the accident, so I hoped it was mostly healed by now.

“Ave…”

He sounded thoughtful and I lifted my head to see his
expression. The faded bruises were still a little starling—I didn’t focus on
that earlier because I was so happy to see him awake and conscious of
everything. As I watched him, all the lights came on in those amber eyes, like
he remembered the best news ever.

“Ave, we can do your birthday. We can go to the beach and go
swimming. We can rent a house and sit in the hot tub. Us. Together. We can do
all of that now.”

His idea made me almost giggle, but a second later, his face
went slack.

“Marcus?”

“We can do something about Kyle.” His hardened voice gave me
chills. I didn’t want to dig all that up again—not right now. I started shaking
my head and he reached and touched my face. “Babe, what he did was wrong. Then
he kept pushing it on that trip. He’s not getting away with all of that. Not
now.”

“That’s behind us…” I said, lamely shrugging. I didn’t want
Marcus to track Kyle down and beat the shit out of him. Somehow, though, that
didn’t seem like Marcus. And right now, he didn’t seem able to get out of bed.

He just woke up. Give it time.

“Why don’t you want to do anything?” he asked, shaking his
head.

“Do we need to talk about it?” I countered. “I mean, we can
later, just not right this sec. We just found each other. And, I don’t know,
everything back in Ashland with my friends is so messed up right now.”

His forehead creased. “Oh. Right. Damn, I forgot about the
whole Nash and Kyle thing…” I watched his expression morph, going from
realization to worry to something like jealousy and anger.

I might like a little jealousy. A little. But I didn’t want
Marcus to worry about us or anything else for that matter. And, I wasn’t ready
to deal with all that yet. I didn’t know where things stood with Jazz. Kris and
Nash probably wouldn’t speak to me. Life had gotten so out of whack and I just
left it that way.

All of that had faded away when I thought I had lost Marcus.

“What happened? Before this?” I asked, shuddering at the
thought of how things almost ended, but my curiosity was getting the better of me.
“At the beach, you were just gone…and then you woke up here?”

“I…” He gazed off over my head for a minute. “I was with
you… but then I woke up here and everything was blank. I’m sorry I didn’t
remember you right away. I feel like shit about it.”

His face showed it too, his mouth frowning and his eyes
darkening with guilt.

“No, no, don’t worry.” I kissed his mouth softly and then
around his face, kissing the bruises as gently as I could.

He closed his eyes, and I suddenly I just wanted to be close
to him, as close as possible. I leaned carefully over him and rested my
forehead against his chest.

This all felt so crazy. Panic swelled inside my chest, but
then his hand smoothed down my hair, as if he could still feel my emotions and
knew about the storm inside of me. He ran his fingers through my hair and
tucked one side behind my ear.

Voices came through the door, and then Tom and Elaina
stepped inside with a thirty-something male doctor. I
tried to fight the way my stomach tightened, but Tom startled me. The glare on
his glasses hid his eyes, and his short, gray hair somehow made him look creepy
just then.

I moved back and sat in a chair across from the bed, giving
them space. The young doctor gave Marcus a big smile, displaying perfectly
straight, white teeth. He was surprisingly handsome, like he should be on that
show
Grey’s Anatomy
.

“Hello, Marcus, you probably don’t remember meeting me
before.” He approached Marcus with his hand out to shake. “Dr. Michaels. It’s a
real pleasure to meet you. I watched you compete in the Olympics, and man, I’m
impressed.”

Marcus simply nodded, his mouth tightening. He’d been so
outgoing and laid back in my head, so it hurt my heart to see him more
withdrawn like this. That comment probably reminded him that he couldn’t do
those physical things right now. I didn’t want to think about the future and
all the if’s.  

The doctor turned to me. “I’m Dr. Michaels.”

“Avery.” I shook his hand too, wondering if anyone would
explain who I was, or if it mattered. “Nice to meet you.”

He smiled brightly before turning back to his patient. If
he’d been clued into the drama surrounding me, he wasn’t letting on.  

“So, Marcus, let’s see how you’re doing. I bet you have all
kinds of questions too. So we’ll take things slow, check your responses and
stats, and go from there. Sound good?” He was ready to start.

Marcus, on the other hand, turned white. “Hey, doc, do we
need everyone here?”

His question got the kind of response you’d expect. I wasn’t
the only one who did a double take at him. He kept his eyes on Dr. Michaels,
trying to ignore our responses

“Ah, sure. I don’t see why that’s a problem.” The doctor
turned to face the rest of us, a message to head out. Marcus looked up at me,
and I’d swear he was trying to cover fear. I stepped closer and squeezed his
hand before leaving.

He watched me go but I had no clue what was going on inside
his head. Why was that freaking me out so bad?

In the hallway, his parents walked close together, talking
quietly. Tom’s deep voice carried back to me, and I swear I caught the words
I’ll
get her out of here
…

I stood frozen, watching them, everything inside me sinking.
How much sway did they have over Marcus? He seemed like his own person to me
but I didn’t have the best feeling about this.

I turned in the other direction, wondering what I’d do while
waiting, and found Jen standing behind me. Judging from her blank face, I
decided she hadn’t heard her father.

Her blue eyes were startlingly blue, and not just for the
vivid color. They were crystalline and sparkly. I had a hard time not staring.

“Hey,” she said softly. “Walk with me?”

At least she wasn’t siding with her parents, as far as I
could tell.

“Sure.” We gave each other a soft smile and started off the
other way together, walking slow like two friends. Just that small act
bolstered my spirits.

A strange mix of cafeteria food and antiseptic scent filled
the hallway, reminding me of the school cafeteria from grade school. I suppose
it’s a hospital smell too. Smelling it felt gross and comforting at the same
time, making me start to laugh.

“Does this feel weird to you?” Jen asked, giving me a raised
eyebrow for the laugh.

I laughed again. It felt good. “I don’t know what to think
about everything…but, he’s okay.”

She turned to me with big, open eyes so I couldn’t look away.

“How did that happen?” she asked, her palm out. “How did Marcus
find you and… live in your head?”

It took me a minute to process everything she was asking.

“He didn’t
find
me, I don’t think.” We walked around
a corner while I thought. “He was as confused as I was, maybe more because he
couldn’t remember who he was.” I glanced over and caught the worry line forming
between her brows.

“He just landed there?” She pointed at my head.

 I needed to talk to Marcus about how much we’ll tell other
people. In a way, it’s asking too much for others to believe this. I held back,
but she searched my eyes like she wanted to understand.

“What about your parents?” I asked. “Jazz made things sound
pretty bad when she called the hospital. Everyone decided I was completely
crazy.”

Her gaze bounced around and she shrugged, like she didn’t
want to look at me right then. Had they been talking about me?

We reached the end of the hallway and turned around. A few
other people were walking around in a haze too, and then others were hurrying
by with things to do.

“I don’t know.” Jen slid her hands into her jean pockets as
we started back. “It sounded bad before, but Marcus remembers you. I have no
idea how they’re going to deal with that.”

They would need to deal with it somehow and find a way to
understand it.

I pulled in a breath, and a second too late realized how
emotional and raw I sounded. Before I could turn away, she rested her hand on
my shoulder.

“He’s awake now. It’ll be okay.” She sounded sure, the same
way Marcus sounds sure when he puts me at ease.

“I just wish I could figure out what’s going on inside, why
I can’t calm down. I just don’t think—” I just didn’t know anything.

“It’s been tough. My mental state isn’t the best either!”
Her quick intake of breath mirrored my emotions. “I’ve been on this
rollercoaster, not knowing if Marcus would make it, and even now some things are
up in the air.”

We were almost back, and we both saw her parents huddled at
the other end, both with their heads bent close.

She made a scoffing sound. “This should be interesting.”

That would be one word for it.

Marcus

When I watched Avery leave, my eyes landed on my guitar.
Maybe my brain wasn’t all the way awake yet, because I kept forgetting I’m
stuck in this bed and my arm is in a cast. I can’t grab my guitar and play—I
couldn’t strum with this cast in the way, and I wasn’t sure my good hand was
good enough to hold the correct strings down. It’s not really listening to what
I tell it to do.

I can’t touch Avery the way I want to. Holy shit, my body is
all messed up, but it sure reacted to her touch. I can still feel it low and
tight in my abdomen even now, after she’s gone. I want her in a bad, bad way.

It was something like this before, except I couldn’t look at
her from my own eyes, and I didn’t have my body to feel it this way. And I
didn’t have her right here where I can touch and kiss her. Damn, I wanted her!

But I couldn’t do anything about it. I sighed, regretting
that the doctor was watching all of this. A nurse came in quietly to assist. They
seem to hover a lot.

While they checked my reflexes and vitals yet again, I mentally
went over my time with Avery today, shot by shot, replaying her responses and
expressions. What was going on in that head of hers?

Before, when she gave other people that cool, reserved face,
I got to hear all the crazy thoughts and feel the overwhelming emotions going
on inside of her. That girl is funny when she wants to be, but she doesn’t
share it often. We’d both have to get used to this new, separate reality.

But I could feel her in a different way. Hold her. Kiss her.
It was a miracle.

 “When will I be on my feet again?” I asked, looking back at
Dr. Michaels. He hesitated, lifting his chin. But he knew. He was just doing
that sensitive doctor shit.

He gestured for me to hold my good arm out again. “That’s a
complicated question, Marcus.”

“How complicated can it be? A week? A month? I hate this. I
feel all weak and things aren’t working quite right. Dude, I’ll go crazy lying
in this bed.”

“And that’s why this is complicated. Listen, it’s not a
magic switch. You won’t suddenly be a hundred percent again. It’ll take time
and therapy.”

Therapy. I know I won’t have the patience for that.

“What about snowboarding?”

Dr. Michaels made a face, and I could tell he was fighting
back a sigh. What the fuck did he expect, that I’d be happy to lay here and get
better?

After a pause, he nodded to the nurse and she left. Then he
slid a stool over by the bed and sat down.

“That broken arm will take at least two more weeks to heal,
so you have time to get everything else working too. It sounds like patience
isn’t your thing, but…well, it has to be now.”

I rubbed my face, not liking how my hand still felt a little
disconnected. Guess it made sense, though. I felt like I woke up from a very,
very, very long sleep, and I sorta did.

“I’d like to look on the positive side,” he added. “You’re
awake and making progress already. This is big. A week ago we weren’t sure
you’d pull through.”

I hold up a hand to stop him. Yeah, I know all about it. I
actually didn’t sleep through the part where my family considered pulling the
plug. Yeah, they were following my wishes—the wishes I’d wrote down three years
ago before this whole thing happened, but how could I have known then? That was
before I met Avery.

“What about…” I gestured downward instead of spelling it out.

“That…” His head went back and forth. Was that indecision?
What was that? “That might take time, too.”

This blows.

“Let’s talk about getting you back on your feet,” he said,
grabbing my attention. So I listened to him for a good ten minutes before he
asked, “Ready to see your family again?”

“I’d like a few minutes alone first.” I didn’t explain but
he simply nodded. I hadn’t been alone since waking up, and while all of this
was good—correct that to great—I felt bulldozed right now. I went from living
in Avery’s head to back here in my own body, and now I had a whole new set of
problems.

But it was better problems. I had to remember that. I had my
life back, my family, my guitar…and Avery. I had Avery in my life for real.

Was that the point of all that crazy shit? Bringing us
together?

Fate. Avery had used that word. She felt sure fate had
brought us together so she could save me. And she did save me in more than one
way.

I felt drained, like ten days of training drained. I closed
my eyes, wanting to rest but afraid of sleeping. What if I didn’t wake up
again?

When I opened my eyes, I saw my phone on the cart next to
the bed. Jen had brought it in earlier. I heard that she faithfully posted
updates online for me through all this. I reached for it, my hand shaking and
then doing a poor job of grabbing onto it.

Grab it, damn it!

My hand finally listened to me and I smiled in triumph.

I wanted to make a video myself and post to my fans. I
played around with the angle, trying to get a good shot of my face while
showing the least of the damage from the crash. Finally I pushed the record
button.

“Yo! How’s it going? Marcus Fields here. I know. I’ve been
out a while, huh? Yeah, hasn’t been fun on this end. I want to send a big shout
out to all of you for thinking about me through all this. Thanks for the love
and support. Thanks for supporting my family while they had to deal with it,
too. I heard about all the messages to my sister Jen and my parents. Wow, my
family. They’ve been strong. And my girl, Avery. She pulled me through this. I
wanted to say thank you to all of you, and everyone here. I’ll be back out
there, promise. Nothing stops Marcus Fields! Peace out, baby.”

I had to keep it short because my hand started shaking. I
watched the video upload and then set the phone down, so tired. Too tired to
keep my eyes open any longer.

Avery… Her name ran through my head as I lost consciousness,
her face in front of me.

I reached for her, expecting her to fade away but she came
closer, reaching for me, and I grabbed her and yanked her to me hard. She
squealed as I lifted her off the ground, burying my face in her hair and then
finding her neck underneath. As I kissed the soft skin there, it hit me that I
was standing. Both my arms were working fine.

I grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, making her
gasp. I saw her pupils widen as I leaned in, and then I kissed her hard and
deep. Her hands came up into my hair and her body arched into mine. She moaned
in my mouth and bent a knee between my legs.

God.

Holy shit.

I needed her. Wanted her.

Then suddenly I knew it was only a dream, although a very
real dream, and that realization shook me out of it.

I was awake again, breathing hard, feeling the damp sheet
stick to my wet skin. Luckily the room was empty.

Patience. Yeah. I’m gonna have to learn that because I want
to be 100% again for Avery so we can be together.