In Memory (31 page)

Noah was standing above me, gently touching my shoulder. “Aerie… you really should go up to bed.”

“
Urgh
, I don’t want to go upstairs.” I settled further down into the couch. “Too much work.”

“You will get cold. Please get up. You could- you could stay in my bed if you wish.”

“Sure…” I smiled, and opened my eyes, looking up at him. “Bedtime…”

We went to his bedroom, and quickly changed o
ur clothes and got into bed. S
nuggled up next to him, breathing in his comforting scent, and was asleep in moments.

It was a long day, a long lovely day.

64 Days, 25 December, Thursday

Christmas Day

Happy Christmas to one and all!

T
hink I got the best gift ever starting right when I woke up.

Noah was already awake, and looked as if he was waiting for me to wake up, smiling gently at me.

He was holding my hand, and all I could feel flowing through his touch was plain simple love.

It was the best way to wake up.

We just laid there in silence for at least half an hour, until Terra knocked on the door.

“Guys…
it’s
noon! I waited this long! Can we open presents and have breakfast now?” She was like an impatient little kid.

I laughed, and he did too, and we went to the living room, dragging our warm blankets behind us.

It was such a peaceful day after the bustle of yesterday.
Although, I enjoyed myself yesterday too.
I liked both of these Christmases. It’s almost like two in one.

G
uess Terra had been up for a while, because the living room and kitchen were moderately tidy. She’d even made a pot of coffee, filling the house with the warm scent.

As Noah and I got settled on the couch, Terra turned her attention to the humble pile of presents under the tree. She gave us both a gift, from her.

G
ot a new cookbook, featuring recipes for breads and fancy casseroles. Noah got a medium sized journal, all black and sleek looking. Included with his journal was a black ink pen.

After thanking her, we gave her the presents we bought her.

Noah had bought a frame for the small picture of a lily he drew her, and I got
her a
stationary set with lilies on it.

“You guys! These are lovely! Thank you!” she laughed, “I love how you both got me lily related stuff!”

There were only two presents left under the tree, one from me to Noah, and his to me.

O
pened mine first, revealing a slender black feather and a ring. The ring was simple, silver with a purple stone set into it.

“A feather?” I asked, holding it up to the light.

“Yes. I found that feather while I was walking home the day we met. I picked it up, and have thought of it as a souvenir of that memory. Think of it as a tribute to your kindness. I would still be lost had you not reached out to me that day.”

I smiled and blushed, a little embarrassed as Terra looked on with a curious grin.

“The ring is simply a pledge to you. The circle of infinity, to represent our friendship.”

S
lipped it on my fingers one at a time, finally finding the most comfortable fit to be my ring finger on my right hand.

“I now pronounce you husband and husband!” Terra laughed, “Oh, but I guess it’s the wrong hand. Oh well. Close enough.”

“It works.” I agreed, and then leaned in for a quick kiss.

I like these little kisses, actually. Every single one is a reminder of the fact that we love each other.

“Now,” I grabbed his present, and handed it to him, “Here’s mine.”

Bit my lip
as he opened it, with the same deliberate slowness I’m come to associate him with.

As he withdrew the small heart, his expression flitted from looks of gratitude, to curiosity, to… relief?

“Thank you.” He said so softly I wouldn’t have known he said it if I wasn’t watching his lips. He cleared his throat. “Thank you.”

As he made to put it on, I swooped around him, doing up the clasp. As I was doing that, I looked at the ring, smiling at it.

This whole exchange, it seriously feels like… a marriage. Maybe that’s not the right word. A pledge, a guarantee, a vow…
An unbreakable promise between us.

My heart is yours, always and forever.

That’s so close to my perfect words. I think I’ve almost got them.

May didn’t show up today… I’m kind of counting on it tomorrow though.

Noah and I spent most of the day just lying around, and eating the ma
ny leftovers from yesterday. D
idn’t really make an extravagant Christmas dinner, because I had already done that yesterday. Terra said not to worry about the cooking or anything, which I was grateful for.

Around evening, Terra decided to go out with that special guy she’s been seeing for a while. I call him Marinara Sauce guy, but I think his name is Tony or something.

She’s very hush-hush when it comes to her boyfriends. Which of course translates directly into her needing to know every insignificant detail of
mine and Noah’s… relationship
. Before she left, she took me aside when Noah was in the washroom, and asked if I was prepared. And me being a clueless dunce, I had not idea to what she was referring.

“I mean protection! You can’t do-” she made a weird smacking motion in the air, “-without protection! It’s not safe!”

I blushed brilliantly, “I don’t think we’re…”

“Well, when you do, you make sure you’re safe! Or you’ll feel my wrath!”

“I promise. When I think we’re ready, I’ll be prepared.”

Noah came out of the washroom at that point, “What are you talking about?”

“
Errr
…” I was still blushing probably.

“Just how I should wear my hair for my outing this evening, what do you think?” She’s quick to come up with subject changes. It’s a good skill I think.

“You’re hair looks very nice when you leave it free. It frames your face nicely.”

“Ahh, my sailor, you know best, I reckon!” She gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then one to me, hurrying to the door. “Happy Christmas you two! Have fun!”

“Goodbye!” Noah called, “Have a joyous time!”

“Joyous?” I grinned as she closed the door.

“Yes. It’s customary to be joyous at this time of year, is it not?”

“
Hehe
, I guess so.”

So somehow, after that, we ended up on the couch, and then kissing on the couch, and then to his room for a more… intense
makeout
session.

It feels weird to write that.
Makeout
session. Huh.

F
ell back into the bed, holding him close, our lips meet
ing again, eager and rushed. C
ould feel his cool skin on my own warmth, the weird mix of temperatures creating
goosebumps
all over my skin.

Moonlight drifted in the window, streaking across his pale skin, almost making him glow. He kissed my neck, breathing deeply between each touch.

“I love you, I love you.” He repeated, running his hands through my hair.

I was getting so turned on by the whole situation, caressing ever inch of his exposed skin, reading his scars like Braille. His life was recorded on his body, and he trusted me enough to read the whole thing. Bandages still covered much of him, so I was careful to be extremely gentle with all of my touches.

He pulled my shirt open to the fullest extent, his thin bony hands raking down my chest, ticklish and arousing at the same time. I could see his eyes fixated firmly on the blue heart I always wore, and his hand drifted up to his matching heart.

“I love you, I love you so much…” He murmured, looking me directly in the eyes.

“Forever- forever and always.”

We did stop before we got much further than that. It seemed like an unspoken mutual agreement to leave it there. It got some relief for our unresolved sexual tension. I’m under the impression he likely would have gone farther if he
wasn’t
so battered up still. 

H
eld him close, kissing him gently, tiny little kisses all down his
neck and shoulder. T
hink I kept kissing him until I fell asleep, the soft touches getting fewer and farther between as I drifted away.

It was a beautiful feeling.

I love being in love.

Correction: I love being in love with him.

63 Days, 26 December, Friday

H
ad another craz
y ‘Tobias dream’ last night. O
pened my eyes to that familiar classroom, almost knee deep in the blood. It made me wonder what the floor below actually looked like.

“You came back. I did not think you would.”

It occurred to me to say I didn’t really have a choice, but I figured that would probably upset him.

“What are you doing here? You must have a reason to keep coming here.” Tobias crossed the room, flecking the walls with blood as he walked.

“
Er
… I came to see how you’re doing.”

“Why should you care? I am not the one you want.”

“Don’t be like that. Just because I love Noah doesn’t mean I ignore everyone else around me. Including you. There must be some reason that we keep meeting this way. It’s destiny or something.”

“Why must you always be so optimistic?” he frowned.

“Why must you always be so negative?”

“I have never been given any other option. If I try to be happy, I will only be denied it eventually. It is better to give up the thought of it than to be continuously rejected.”

“That seems terrible.”

Tobias glowered at me, “Of course it is terrible. My existence is pointless.”

“You’re here though! And we’re chatting. There has to be some reason for that.”

“You are horribly simple-minded.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that before.” I opened my mouth to ask him about possessing Noah, and then closed it, remembering his general opinion of the topic of Noah.

He sighed, and sat on a nearby desk. “What do you want to say to me?”

“
Er
… it’s just… are you a ghost or something? How’d you possess Noah?”

“It is a rare occurrence when I surface in him, it happened once when he was six, and again when he was
twelve
.
Also more frequently as of late.
I can do very little, and find it difficult to communicate when I gain control. I believe that me possessing him resulted in his diminished mental health, and it may be the reason people in this town often dislike him.”

“So what, you just commandeer his body? How the hell do you do that?”

“We share the same body, he does not even know it. You are familiar with the idea of twins, yes?”

“
Er
… yeah.”

“We were meant to be twin brothers, he and I. Due to some twist of destiny, we became one. It could be thought of as
Gemini rewritten.” He chuckled, which looked odd considering the dark expression on his face
.

“So… you’re his brother?”

“Yes.” He slid off the desk and into the blood, kicking it up so it splashed him in the face. “And this is my prison, slowly filling up with every drop of blood our body loses. Eventually, I will drown, and everything will be over.”

I stared. How was I to reply to that statement? Tobias’ back was turned, but the similarity between he and Noah was so achingly familiar I had to reach out to him.

Tobias shuddered at my touch, edging away. “Do not… touch me. I have already felt your gentility once; if I become accustomed to it, it will only be another thing to long for when you are gone.”

W
ithheld my next grab for him, biting my lip.
Even with his back turned, I knew the expression on his face. The same one that Noah wore whenever he was troubled.

Splashing through their blood, I walked around him, confirming the look tainting his beautiful face. “Tobias… I only want to help you while I can. Is that such a bad thing?”

“Quit teasing us with yourself. You are only making it worse.”

“Listen to me!” I grabbed his shoulders, making him look up at me, frightened, “Why won’t you let me help you now? Don’t you remember what I said? Tomorrow doesn’t matter until it becomes today! If I can bring you comfort, then I should, even if it won’t last until tomorrow.”

“But I- we… we are going to be destroyed when you die. If you leave us alone…”

“When I die… I’m hoping that you’ll have loved enough to live. That’s all I’m hoping for. I know what’s going to happen to me, I’ve resigned myself to that fate, but if I can change what happens to
you.
That’s my only goal.”