In Hiding: A Survivors Journal of the Great Outbreak (16 page)

Through
the binoculars I could see that he had been busy. To my surprise he had done
some significant damage to the wooden boards that were being used to barricade
the outside of the door. I felt bad for Hal. I could see the harm he was doing
to his hands and arms as he smashed them against the wood repeatedly. I can
admit that a part of me considered grabbing the rifle and putting a bullet
through his brain. At that point I thought it would be an act of mercy, ending
his suffering, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Twice
I thought about shooting Hal, and twice I talked myself out of it. The fact of
the matter was that I had grown attached to Hal and in all honesty I found him
fascinating. To this day I am still unsure what it was that separated him from
the rest of the Zeds and why it was that I couldn’t stop watching him. I didn’t
care about any of the other zombies out there. They were monsters, mindless,
horrifying things that scared the hell out of me. But Hal was different
somehow. Strange as it seems there were actually times I found myself routing
for Hal to get through that door and see what was inside.

I
watched him for hours that night. I sat back and drank a few of the left over
beers from the barbeque and tried to relax a little. I tried to block out the
terrible noise that surrounded me and thought about everything that had
happened and everything that was to come. It was hard to see a future in all of
this. I questioned if the world would ever be the same or at least something
that resembled what it used to be.

Looking
back I think that I had been in a state of denial, always thinking that this
would end one day and everything would go back to the way it was. It had never
occurred to me that things would never be like they were. That even if I did
survive this outbreak that the world would be a very different place then the
one I knew. My priorities needed to change from what they had been. It didn’t
matter what was in my bank account anymore or getting a promotion at work. It
didn’t matter what my plans were for the weekend or how the sports teams that I
cared too much about were doing. Nothing was important anymore except survival.

I
needed to get over the guilt of being alive and about being one of the lucky
ones. I had to stop worrying about things that I couldn’t control or what was
happening in other parts of the country. I realized that night that if I was
going to live through this I needed to shift my priorities and my way of
thinking. Survival was all that mattered anymore, and if I didn’t adapt to the
world around me then I would end up like poor Hal out there.

Once
Trevor came and relieved me from watch duty, I went downstairs to watch
television with Ray. I didn’t feel like sleeping not with all of that on my
mind and I assumed that Ray would have been awake like he had been most nights.
Instead he was passed out in his camping chair with the TV still on. The
programming was different that night. The usual news broadcast had been
replaced with a woman in military garb reading instructions. It wasn’t a
recording or on a loop, she was just talking and talking fast. She was trying
to get out as much information as possible and instructing people where to go
and what to do.

She
listed off refugee camps that were no longer considered safe and which cities
should start preparing for evacuations. She told them how to prepare and when
they would start. There were signs of the virus in Oregon, California and
Arizona. She explained that people should avoid the infected at all costs and
that the only way to stop them quickly was to kill the brain.

I
still didn’t understand how all of this could happen and how the world could
fall apart so quickly. This outbreak had left the country in ruin and it was
still spreading. From what I had seen on the news it had ruined most of the
world. It was spreading from country to country, city to city and house to
house and showed no signs of slowing down. Maybe we had waited too long to act
or maybe our society wasn’t as strongly held together as we believed.

But
that night it didn’t matter how or why it happened, it became about what I was
going to do to make it through. I needed to change. Others had changed, that
much I had seen. Paul had stepped up and embraced a leadership role. I liked
Paul, but I could tell that he had never been in a position of power before and
in this new world he relished the opportunity to be someone of importance. I
needed to do the same. I needed to become someone different and embrace the
change.

I
just remember that night being a turning point for me personally. So much had
changed in such a short period of time. But there were more changes ahead. What
was to come would change everything for us. It was all coming to a head and
this small world that we lived in, within the walls of the store, was about to
change for all of us.

Another
night without much sleep. Like most mornings I struggled with what was a memory
and what was a nightmare. But it didn’t matter. The ninth day is when I would
discover just what kind of affect something like this could have on someone. I
didn’t know what to expect as the days went on and it became harder to cope
with the reality of the outbreak. I didn’t know what to expect from myself
either in all honesty. I had heard stories of what happens to people who survive
disasters or return from war and I was smart enough to know that the longer
this went on that eventually someone would reach their breaking point.

That
morning I returned to the entertainment department to ask Ray if he wanted me
to take his turn on watch. I could see that the news had returned to normal and
they were showing the evacuation of Denver. The Army had a strong perimeter set
up and they were using drones to monitor around the evacuation route. They were
checking all the people for signs of infection and the people in line pushed
and fought to try and hurry the process along. There was machine gun fire and
explosions in the distance as they fought to protect the large crowds from the
incoming Zeds.

I
guess if the tide were going to turn it would have to start somewhere. The
military was going to have to hold the line at some city if there was any hope
of stopping this thing. I remember hoping Denver would be that city. But really
any city would have been fine with me.

I
watched some of the news while Ray slept. He, like most of the others was still
feeling the effects of drinking too much the night before so I just took it
upon myself to take over the day’s first watch. It was nice to be alone but as
much as I wanted my space I knew I couldn’t pull away from the rest of the
group entirely or else they might end up pulling away from me. Being on an
island could leave me out of the decision-making process altogether. Well that
or if things did deteriorate I guess I figured it would be nice to have a few
allies. So when Kerri and Cody came up to visit me on the roof that morning I
didn’t fight it.

The
thought of building alliances may seem strange, but at the time I had a strong
feeling that the group was on the verge of falling apart. Anne and Paul were
clearly fighting over what our next move should be and some of the others were
choosing sides. I could tell that there was still some bad blood left over from
how the Bruce and Scott situations had been handled. I knew opinions on that
had changed since it had happened but the way it had happened and the
personalities were obviously still clashing. All it took was another divisive
issue to bring the battle back to the forefront.

So
they joined me on the roof even though I wanted to check back in on Hal. I made
sure not to make it look obvious that I was focused on one thing in particular.
There was no way I could let them know what I was doing. As it turned out, my
little pet monster had been busy over night. He was making serious progress and
most of the boards that were in his way were already on the ground and at that
moment I was starting to think that he actually might get in.

While
I watched him I tried to maintain a conversation with Kerri and Cody to give
them the impression that they had my full attention and not some Zed who I was
convinced was special. If they ever found out what I was looking at there was
no telling what they would think. I assumed they would think I was insane. I
assumed they would run and tell the others that I had lost my mind and that I
should be restrained. Then again there was a chance that they would understand.

But
I played it safe. I never told anyone about Hal. Not then, not ever. So I
continued to watch him and kept pretending that I was looking at something
else. But hiding my secret from them would end up being the least of my
concerns. My watch would end up being cut short when the three of us heard what
sounded like gunshots.

What
we heard wasn’t just a single shot. It was multiple shots and it sounded like
it had come from somewhere inside the building. We flew down the stairs
desperate to know where it had come from and what was happening. I remember my
heart racing as we went down the ladder and ran to the stairway. I feared the
worst, that Zeds had somehow gotten inside and the others were trying to fight
them off. It was the only thing that made any sense to me.

Once
downstairs, we ran right for the table where the guns had been stored. Don’t
ask me why but I had left the rifle on the roof and that left the three of us
unarmed and possibly heading into a dangerous situation. When we arrived at the
table the first thing I noticed was that most of the guns were gone. That alone
gave me pause and sent a chill down my spine. I thought for sure that it meant
that they were inside the store.

I
grabbed the last shotgun and Cody grabbed one of the baseball bats. I handed
one of the small camping hatchets to Kerri and then I led the way. Out the
doors and onto the sales floor we followed the sound. Then just before we ran
into harms way I stopped. That was when I thought about doing the unthinkable.
I never said anything but I seriously considered running back upstairs to
safety instead of charging into the unknown to help the others.

For
one reason or another I went against my better judgment and followed the other
two towards the sounds. To my surprise it wasn’t coming from the front of the
building or the back receiving doors. I had thought for sure that if the Zeds
had made it inside they would have broke through one of those two doors. So we
followed the gunshots as best as we could and ended up heading right for the
automotive department.

As
we got closer we could hear shouting through the constant gunfire. We arrived
to find everyone just outside the door yelling at someone or something inside
the garage. It wasn’t exactly what I thought we would find when we got there
but it didn’t take long to figure out what the source of all the shouting was.

At
some point Derrick had walked right into the garage with a small arsenal of
weapons and opened one of the two garage doors. Then, he just let the Zeds
outside come to him. I could see him blasting every Zed that stumbled in
through the open door and a few already dead on the ground. I could hear him
shouting in between gunshots at the top of his lungs.

You
killed them.

You
killed them both you bastards.

You
took them from me.

You
killed them.

It
was at that point I knew exactly what had happened. Derrick had lost it. He had
been able to put the death of his wife and daughter behind him while he was out
on the streets focused on his own survival every waking moment. But when
everything settled down and he was safe and alone with his thoughts, it hit him
and it hit him hard. Then I guess he needed to get revenge on who was
responsible for his loss. The Zeds. I knew what had happened and why, but we
needed to get him out of there and quick. If we didn’t shut that garage door
there was a chance that they could pile into the garage and then through the
door and into the store.

I
think Paul realized the same thing. He pulled open the door and ran into the
garage and opened fire. Armed with one of the shotguns he positioned himself
next to Derrick and continued to shoot at the Zeds as they entered the garage.

Cody
and Anne went in after that. They ran through the door and Anne stood next to
Paul, raised the hunting rifle and took aim. Cody started to move along the
wall towards the garage door hoping to get it closed before more Zeds made it
inside. Then I did something stupid. I went in next. I ran to the far side of
Derrick and started to make my way up the other wall heading for the button to
close the door. I could see that Anne and Paul were choosing their shots
carefully, taking aim and making sure that they conserved their bullets.
Derrick was a little more reckless, shooting at any Zed that moved and seeing
that I stopped dead in my tracks.

I
didn’t want to get any closer to the Zeds until I knew that Derrick wouldn’t
just keep shooting randomly into the crowds. That and there were two Zeds
moving in my direction. That was when the one on the left walked right into the
oil pit as it tried to get to me. The stupid thing just kept walking until it’s
front foot stepped right into the hole and it smashed it’s face on the other
side of the pit as it fell to the bottom.

I
turned my head when I heard the door open again. That was when I saw Trevor
enter the garage carrying the fire axe he had used so many times before. He
charged right for a Zed that looked like it had already been through hell and
swung his axe overhead and split its head wide open. A few more zombies started
moving along the wall where Cody and Trevor were and the two of them met them
head on. Then I looked back to see the other Zed that was coming for me was
getting closer so I raised my shotgun and opened fire. That time I did
everything I was supposed to do.

The
good thing about the shotgun was it’s stopping power. I didn’t need to be that
accurate at close range. My first shot hit that Zed right in the chest and the
impact knocked it down and onto its back. I could see it was still alive, just
twitching on the ground, but it was struggling to get back up to its feet.

I
turned back and starting yelling at Derrick to calm down. I couldn’t risk
pushing forward to the door with him shooting so recklessly. He couldn’t hear
me through the sound of the guns and shouting in there, it was utter
chaos.
 
I could see Anne and just
how great of a shot she was even under pressure. She fired a bullet right
through the head of a zombie that had just entered the garage. She reloaded and
fired another round through another one that was heading for Cody and Trevor.

They
were starting to come in droves at that point. The sound of the gunshots must
have drawn the Zeds in the surrounding area to the open garage door and for
everyone we killed another two came walking through the open door. They came in
pairs, and then by threes, and then it seemed like almost a dozen of them tried
pushing through the entrance all at once.

Paul
was still shouting for Cody and Trevor to move forward and close the door. Then
out of the corner of my eye I saw Jacob come running up behind the two of them
with a baseball bat in his hands. Trevor swung his axe again into the temple of
what used to be a young teenage girl. Cody was swinging his bat down at a Zed
on the ground, trying to smash its head in. Jacob ran between the two and swung
his bat at the knee of another. It dropped to the ground and then he took out
the brain with a couple of violent swings of the bat.

I
watched two more Zeds fall right into the oil pits as others pushed them from
behind trying to get inside. The large crowd was being funneled through the
opening and they were starting to trip over one another and knocking each other
to the floor. Four more were heading in my direction and I raised my gun to
take a shot. That was when I saw the one closest to me head jerk back as a
bullet passed through it. I guessed the shot had come from Anne. It dropped to
the ground. I took a step forward raised my shotgun and blasted the next
closest Zed in the face. Its lifeless body collapsed to the ground and as I
looked up I saw another zombie reaching out for me.

Before
I had a chance to fire again, I saw the bullet enter its left eye socket just
as I heard the shot. Anne had fired again and with that there was only one left
in front of me. I drove the stock of the gun into its face pushing it back just
far enough that I could take aim and fire. The shot hit it in the left shoulder
and it spun around to the ground and it landed on its knees leaning against the
wall. I took the stock of the gun and with everything I had I drove it into its
temple and crushed it’s head between the stock and the wall. Its head didn’t
explode and there was no blood. It just stopped moving at that point.

I
felt something grab the back of my shirt. I swung around and almost clocked
Tanya with my gun. With all of the screaming and gunshots I hadn’t heard her
sneak up behind me. She was holding a handgun, Paul’s handgun. The two of us
started pushing forward along the wall desperately trying to get to the button
that would close the open door.

Then
Tanya screamed. The Zed whose head I had smashed against the wall was moving
again and it had grabbed her by the ankle. She calmed herself and fired the
handgun. Blood spattered that time as the bullet entered its brain from such
close range. We moved on.

I
looked across the garage and saw Trevor driving the axe into another Zed’s
face. Anne shot the one directly behind it and it dropped to the ground. There
were far more zombies on that side of the garage because that was the door that
was open. But there were more that were making there way up the middle between
the two oil pits and a few more that were headed for Tanya and me.

I
watched two Zeds walking up the middle instantly get turned into corpses as
Paul and Derrick opened fire. Cody and Jacob were both swinging their bats
overhead into a group of about five Zeds and I could see that they were in
trouble. I tried to yell for Paul to do something, then to Anne, then to
Derrick but nobody could hear me.
 
That was when I saw Trevor push the zombie closest to him into that
crowd and three of them fell to the ground. With two swings of the axe two more
were dead and Cody and Jacob used their bats to dispatch the others. They
pushed forward towards the crowd and towards the door.