In Chains (16 page)

“No.” He shakes his head. “Don’t throw…us away…like that. I’m willing…to fight for us. Why…aren’t you?”

I bury my face in my hands. He’s in so much pain he can barely talk or breathe. How can he think I’m throwing us away? Does he think this is easy for me? I love him. I’m just trying to protect him. Blinking away my tears I look up at him. “This isn’t easy for me. I want to be with you but this is the right thing to do. It’s the only way I can protect you.”

“I don’t want…anyone…to protect me. I didn’t want…my mum to die…protecting me. I don’t want…you to leave me…to protect me. Stay…with me…please baby.”

“I’m sorry Kayden. I can’t let him hurt you. I won’t change my mind. Goodbye.” I turn away so he can’t see my tears and run towards the house. I can’t look back.

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

Savannah

Every miserable second of this week has crawled by. Jenny immediately knew something had upset me. I couldn’t talk to her about it though. I just told her my brother had finally succeeded in splitting me and Kayden up, then I broke down and cried in front of her, which was embarrassing. She understood. She held me and let me cry but it didn’t make me feel any better. I put on a fake smile and served the customers and somehow made it through the week without losing my job or my mind.

On Friday she warned me that Kayden was bringing some potatoes and like a coward I went and hid in the toilet so I didn’t have to face him. I haven’t spoken to him since I ended it. I’ve been careful to avoid him. I asked Simon not to give him any jobs to do in the house and I lock the doors when I’m there alone so he can’t get in. I’ve stopped going outside in the mornings. I know I can’t avoid him forever but right now the pain is still too raw. I’m afraid he’ll try to change my mind and I’m even more afraid that he’ll succeed because I miss him. I miss him so much. I want to be in his arms. I want to see him smile. I want him to tell me I’m his baby. I want to ask him if he’s okay and I can’t even do that.

If my life wasn’t miserable enough, today I have the dubious pleasure of a shopping trip with Simon and Christina. It’s her birthday next week and I’ve been invited to her party. She’s holding it at some swanky hotel, so we’re going shopping for party outfits. Dragging myself out of bed I haul myself to the shower to get ready for the day.

I’ve been dragged in and out of more stores than I can count. Christina is relentless. My feet ache and we haven’t even bought anything yet. She insists we visit every store before she parts with her money. She doesn’t want to buy something and then see something better later. Simon came into the first couple of stores with us. Then he handed me one of his credit cards and shot off to look around some bookstores and electrical gadget shops.

We’re now back at the first store we went in. Christina picks out a long deep red dress with a split up the side of the leg. I’ve found a knee length black lace dress. We head to the changing rooms to try them on.

I hate changing rooms. The clothes always look better on the hanger than they do on my body. I don’t know what it is about their mirrors, or maybe it’s the lighting but I always seem to look fatter as well. To my horror Christina drags me along behind her into the same cubicle. She slips out of her skirt and blouse and I can see why she isn’t self-conscious about sharing a cubicle. She has a perfect body. There’s not an ounce of fat on her. Her boobs are perky, her stomach is flat and her skin is smooth. How can one person look so immaculate? She puts on the red dress and it looks stunning. She’ll be the belle of her ball. While she is preoccupied admiring herself in the mirror, I quickly yank off my t-shirt and put on the dress before removing my jeans. It looks good, it does suit me and it hides my round stomach. I’ll buy it.

“Isn’t this fun,” Christina says as we head to the shoe department. She picks out a pair of silver sandals to go with my dress and I must admit I do love them. They sparkle and they have a three inch heel. I’ll probably want to take them off when I dance but they do make my feet look pretty.

We’re now in cosmetics. Christina has been helpful; she knows her stuff when it comes to make-up. If I were here alone I wouldn’t have a clue. I’ve now got concealer, mascara, lip gloss and blusher. She’s going to show me how to apply the concealer and blusher when we get back.

She sends a text to Simon and we meet up with him at the food court. I’m enjoying a cup of tea and a slice of chocolate cake. Simon is devouring a large slice of strawberry cream gateau and Christina is eating a fruit salad. The fruit looks delicious but I can’t resist chocolate.

Once again the week drags by. I think Simon and Christina have adopted me like some sort of lost puppy. I’ve been taken to the movies, the pub and for pizza. It’s kind of them but I wouldn’t be on my own if Simon would have left me and Kayden alone. I’ve managed to avoid him again this week. I haven’t seen anything of Ben either, though I’ve no doubt he’ll be at the party tomorrow because he’s friends with Christina.

I arrive ten minutes early for my last shift of the week at the cafe. James is busy turning on the grill, I can’t see Jenny anywhere. I make myself and James a tea. The early morning customers trickle in. James is doing the cooking, there’s still no sign of Jenny. “Is your mum okay?” I ask him. “She’s not ill is she?”

He smiles across at me. “No she’s fine. She’s just having a day off. My dad is older than she is, he just retired. I think mum wants to spend more time with him instead of being here all day. She told me she’s going to look at hiring someone to run this place for her.”

I’m glad she’s okay but I’ll miss her. I hope I’ll get along with the new manager. She’s obviously not considering me for the job because she hasn’t mentioned it.

I’m a lot busier without James to help me take orders and serve up, so I don’t have time to mope and the day flies by. James puts the ‘closed’ sign on the door. He’s cleaning the grill, so I guess I’m stuck with the washing up. I’ve just put my hands in the water when I hear the door open. Without looking I call out, “We’re closed.”

“That’s okay. I’m not here to eat.” I spin round. It’s Kayden. I draw in a deep breath. I’ve got nowhere to run. I have to face him sometime; I guess it may as well be now. He turns to James. “I’ve brought the potatoes.”

“Cheers man,” James said. “Don’t bother peeling them, I’ll do them myself tomorrow. I want to close up early, I’m going out tonight.”

Kayden grins at him. “You meeting a girlfriend?”

James shakes his head. “No. Going to a club with my mates.”

Kayden moves to stand in front of me. “You hate washing dishes. I’ll do them for you.”

I shake my head. “It’s okay. Thank you for offering.”

He stares at me. I make the mistake of looking into his eyes, those beautiful, soft eyes. He smiles. “Don’t argue with me. You can’t get your way all the time.” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him. “I would pick you up but my ribs are still sore.” He squeezes me tight and I feel him swallow. “I’ve missed you.”

I’ve missed his scent. I’ve missed his touch. I wish things could be different. “I’m sorry Kayden,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry but I made the right choice. I can’t change my mind.”

“How about if I promise not to do any more stupid shit?”

I pull away from his grasp, shaking my head. “No. I’m sorry. I need to wash the dishes now.”

I hear him sigh. “I said I’d do them didn’t I?”

“I don’t care who does them,” James says, laughing, “as long as they get done soon, I’m waiting to go out.”

I run to the back of the cafe and quickly throw on my jacket. Kayden is washing the dishes as I come back around the counter. Holding my car keys in my hand I run for the door before he has chance to stop me. I yank open the door and call out to James, “See you next week.” I jump in my car and lock the doors but it doesn’t look like Kayden has come out after me. I start my car and drive off.

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

Savannah

It’s the day of the party and I’m standing in front of my bedroom mirror. I look okay. I won’t turn heads but I look decent. I followed Christina’s instructions for applying concealer and blusher and they have made my face look brighter.

Simon pops his head around the door. “You look lovely Savannah. Are you ready to go?” He looks sharp himself in a suit and tie. I grab my cigarettes and my car keys. I’m driving tonight. I thought as it’s Christina’s party he should be able to drink.

“You’ll be able to have a drink tonight,” Simon says as he locks the door. “We’ll take the slave along with us. It can drive your car back.”

Whoa. What? “I don’t mind not drinking,” I say as I unlock my car door. “Can Kay…the slave even drive? I don’t think Christina will appreciate you bringing a slave to her party.”

He laughs at me. “I’m not going to take it in, it can wait outside. And yes, the slave can drive, it’s one of the reasons I bought it. That way you can enjoy the party.” I’m about to tell him I can enjoy the party without having a drink but he’s already striding off in search of Kayden. A minute later he returns with Kayden trudging along behind him. Kayden stares at me, I lower my gaze to my feet. This is going to be so awkward.

Everyone is silent during the drive. Simon is texting, probably letting Christina know we’re on our way. Glancing in the mirror Kayden is slumped in the back seat, gazing down at the floor. We soon arrive at the hotel. I’m thankful I didn’t have to endure the awkwardness for too long.

I’m about to give Kayden my car keys when Simon snatches them from my hand and locks my car. Grabbing my arm he steers me towards the entrance. “I was giving him the keys so he could sit in the car Simon.” Ignoring my comment he puts my keys in his jacket pocket and strides up to the reception desk. Kayden will be freezing standing out there all night; he doesn’t even have a coat. I don’t understand why Simon won’t let him sit in my car.

Simon points towards a room leading off from the reception. “This way.”

“Simon, I want Kay…the slave to sit in my car. It’s freezing outside.”

“Stop fussing Savannah.” Before I get chance to say anything else he opens the door to the ballroom and ushers me in.

Several crystal chandeliers hang from the cream coloured ceiling and at the far end of the room are wall to wall, floor to ceiling glass windows, draped in brown velvet.

Christina comes towards us. She looks amazing in that red dress. She gives Simon a hug and kisses me on both cheeks. “You’re sitting with me, come this way.” She leads us over to her table. It’s one of many that encircle the dance floor. An elderly couple are already seated. Simon evidently knows them because he gives the woman a hug and shakes hands with the man. When we’re introduced I discover they are Christina’s parents.

Sitting down in the black leather chair I glance at the table. It’s decorated with fresh flowers and white napkins folded to resemble roses. Two bottles of champagne rest in a large wine bucket.

I look around the room. All the tables are full; I guess we were the last to arrive. I spot Ben sitting at the next table. He has his arm around a woman that I haven’t seen before. Simon pours everyone champagne and we all raise our glasses and wish Christina a Happy Birthday.

The waiters are dressed in white shirts and black waistcoats. They bring over our starters, pea soup. I don’t like peas but it’s a set menu so I don’t have a choice. I try a spoonful and it’s surprisingly good. Then my thoughts drift to Kayden, outside in the cold and I lose some of my appetite.

Christina is showing Simon the gold necklace her parent’s gave her. Oh hell, I didn’t get her a birthday card or a gift. I feel terrible, how could I have forgotten to do that? I don’t have the money to get her anything decent and she would probably have sneered at whatever I did get, but I should have at least tried. Some flowers or something like that. The waiters take away our soup bowls and soon after our main courses arrive. Goose with juniper berries and saute potatoes. I’ve never eaten goose but I love chicken and I imagine it tastes similar. Simon pours us all another champagne and is now talking to Christina’s parents about investments. The goose is nice but it’s too fatty for me. The potatoes are lovely though.

The hum of conversation and the clinking of cutlery fills the room. Christina must know a lot of people. If I held a party there would probably be only five people there and one of those would be me. Ben’s date is feeding him and he’s leering at her cleavage. She’s displaying so much boob I can see it from all the way over here. They’re well suited, I smile to myself.

Switching my attention back to our table I notice Christina holding a gift that’s wrapped in silver paper and tied with purple ribbon. She’s grinning at Simon; I guess it must be his present to her. She unties the bow and carefully unwraps the gift. She’s not like me, I get way too excited when I get presents and I always shred the paper. She’s holding a purple jewellery box and as she opens it she squeals. I watch as she removes a ring from the box. A solitaire diamond ring. Oh my God. Is it an engagement ring? She slips it onto her ring finger, then jumps up and throws her arms around Simon, giving him a long kiss on the lips. I guess I’m going to have a sister-in-law soon. I smile sweetly at them both. “Congratulations.”

The waiters arrive to take away the plates and bring our desserts. White chocolate cheesecake with cream. Now this is more like it. I adore anything made with chocolate. I want to moan with pleasure with each mouthful but I can’t because I’m not alone. I immediately feel guilty when I finish it and remember that Kayden is outside, cold and hungry.