In Between Seasons (The Fall) (7 page)

We were huddled in a cave as the rain came pelting down around us
,
and
I felt emptier than I had ever
thought
was
possible. Hunter had remained
silent
while he found us shelter, created a fire
,
and
handed me a pop tart to eat. He didn’t feel like hunting
,
and
I didn’t feel like eating
,
so the silence was filled with chewing
and
then the chattering of my teeth.

“You’re cold again?” Hunter asked
,
“Or is it something else?”

“Does it matter either way?”
I replied
.

He
looked through the fire before reaching into his bag
and
pulling out a blanket.  He didn’t say anything
as he
pulled me into hi
m
and wrapped
the blanket around
us.

“We thought we
were from two different worlds,
”
he commented,
his voice soft.

“But we lived in
the same one. Which is crueler—
knowing the world you live in is going to destroy you
,
or not knowing anything is going on?”

“I don’t know,” he replied
,
and
we were both silent before h
e spoke again,
“You’re a lot like me
and
yet so different
.”

“That’s
probably why you keep saving me,” I added,
leaning my head back into his hard chest.
He laughed lightly
,
and
I couldn’t help
but
s
mile.  The moment didn’t last.
His body became tense, and I
though
t
he might leap up
and
run away
.  I turned
and
looked at him,
“What’s wrong?”

“I want to ask you something
,
but
I know it’s a qu
estion I wouldn’t answer myself,” he answered,
his eyes taking in my face.

“I might answer
, you never know,” I said,
turning back into his arm
and
placing my head on his chest again.

“What were you thinking when T
revor had that gun to your head?
”

“That I was going to die,” I replied,
sounding too sarcastic to actually cover up that I was thinking something much different.

“Well, I know that…but when you hear
d him start to pull the trigger
your face changed. I watched it
as I pulled the trigger on him,” h
e said
,
his body still tense against mine.

“I was
thinking why the hell you hadn’t
saved me yet.”

“Sure you were. That’s not what I saw
in your face,
”
h
e noted as his body relaxed.

I turned to look at
him again
and
our faces
were
barely an inch apart,
“Then you know what I was thinking
,
so
why are you asking?”

His
Adam’s
apple rose
and
fell before he answered,
“Because I want to hear you say it.”

My heart was racing more tha
n it had been when Trevor’s gun h
ad been digging into my temple, “You already know,” I replied,
my voice barely
audible over the pounding rain. I c
ould feel his breath on my skin
,
warm
and
sweet.

Lightning
streaked across the sky
and
cracked making
me jump
and
slam my head into the top of the cave.

“Wow,” Hunter
stifle
d
a laugh.

“This day sucks,
”
I complained
,
closing my eyes and grabbing my head with my hand.

“It really
doesn’t suck all that much,
” Hunter replied
,
pulling me back to
lie
in his arms. He kissed my head where
the welt was beginning to form,
“I’ll hold you tighter next time the
lightning
strikes
that way you don’t jump out of your skin.
You’re n
ot scared of a gun pointed to your skull
,
but
you have a heart attack because
of a crack of
lightning
.”

“
Shush
,” I chastised,
feeling how fast his heart was beating against my cheek. I could only wonder if he was scared of the
lightning
,
or if he was feeling the same way I was. I wasn’t brave enough to test the theory
and
lean up
and
kiss him
,
but
G
od I wanted to.

The running that we were now constantly doing seemed a relevant juxtaposition to my whole life. With each step away from my past I realized that I had always been running from the truth. I hadn't asked the right questions, sure like Sara had said, I had argued, but about pointless things. Now as I flashed back over the past sixteen years of my life I tried to think of some sort of gap, something that would show what I had been missing. Somehow I couldn't find it. I did think that something had to have gone wrong more than they had led on for us to need to be protected, but this? The world was now run like the Wild West, guerilla warfare was the enforcement
, and there was no safe place
. It was obvious from the way Hunter fought that everyone needed to be skilled in fighting to survive
—
especially the men. The society was obviously patriarchal, so maybe that was why I had seen nothing. I wasn't meant to. I was supposed to do as I always had
—
read,
study when my dad chose it to be the school year, do chores and look pretty. I wasn't really supposed to use my brain.
I was supposed to keep my mouth shut.
That was how I had made myself a target to them. I had wanted to use my brain.
I had not
want
ed
to be talked at
—
I
had
wanted to understand, and when my family has grown tired of my questions I had grown cold.
I had grown silent until the rare occasion where I couldn’t hold back my thoughts anymore.
I glanced over at Hunter and realized, although he had been molded far harsher than I had, he had become cold in the same fashion. My family had essentially given up on me, and I supposed that was because I was a girl, but Hunter had been broken and reshaped. I knew because he hadn't killed me that they hadn't truly tamed him. Inside Hunter was still who he had always been, and just like me, he had modified his exterior to be what they had wanted.
Cold, unquestioning and subservient.
In that instant anger began to rush over me at the thought. We were headed right towards those people. I would have to meet them and be what they wanted me to be
—
the same thing my family had wanted me to be. Sixteen years, and I knew I still hadn't learned, but then I hadn't realized it would get me killed. Now I knew that everything I said and did would be held against me. The worst thing was that we had to do what we hated the most to survive
—
lie. Drown in the lies. Breath
e
them like air. I took a deep breath and looked over at Hunter
’
s chiseled figure and haunting eyes. We had one thing that we hadn't had before
—
each other. At least we had that truth
.

“You want to take a break?”
Hunter broke into my thoughts, “
You keep looking at me.
I mean I know I'm sexy, but...”

I stopped abrupt
ly and looked at him, “Really?”

He coughed out a laugh at my fierce look and then did something I didn't expect
. H
e reached up and gently touched the bruise on my f
orehead, “How is this feeling?”

His touch sent my mind reeling, and then when he brought his hand down and there was fresh blood, I felt like vomiting. The memory of Trevor and the cold metal digging into my flesh had opened up more than one wound. It must have shown on my face that my mind was going places that it shouldn't.

“What are
you thinking about? Hunter asked as he wiped my blood on his jeans
,
“You look upset.”

“Huh?” I
mumbled,
stopping
and
puttin
g my hands on my hips,
“Nothing…
I was thinking about nothing.”

“Tell me?”
h
e pried, his brow creased in disbelief.

I averted my eyes
and
took a deep breath to steady myself before I said the word that had been playin
g as a broken record in my mind, “Revenge.
”

“You’re tougher tha
n you look,
” Hun
ter remarked,
reaching into the back
pack
and
handing me a bottle of water.

I
took a sip,
“I think anyone would think about revenge given the situation.”

“Kate, you’r
e too good a person for revenge. T
hat you’
re even thinking about it worries me. I don’t want my dark hear
t to alter you,” he responded
with
his hands stuck in his hair.

“You’re heart is
n’t dark, it’s got a gooey core,” I teased
with a smirk.

“Me gooey?” h
e replied
,
shaking hi
s head,
“I think you’re living in a
fantasy.”

“
Well, maybe not gooey
,
but
your heart i
s perfectly fine.
”

“Thank you
,” h
e said with a crooked smile,
“b
ut you’re changing the subject…
revenge
—
Kate
,
is a strong word with a lot of implications.”

“I’m not ask
ing you to kill someone,
” I retorted,
my stomach feeling empty.
I really wanted to though.

“Good
because I
wasn’t going to, although I’
d like to,” h
e s
aid,
“b
ut sometimes the greatest revenge is guilt because that will
destroy a person…believe
me
,
I know.”

“You think you’re
going to hell don’t you?” I commented
,
watching his expression as he stared blankly into the forest behind me.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because of me,
”
I replied,
stepping forward.

“Why?”
Hunter asked.

“Where do you think I’d go?”

“That’s not a real question,
”
Hunter replied.

“I’m dragging you where ever I go
,
and
I’ll raise H
ell to get what I want
and
that, that’s what I want.”

“So you’re going to save my soul?”

“That’s
not a real question,
”
I responded
as our eyes locked.

“Because you already have,” Hunter
’s lips curled up on one side
, “Now let me save yours
. S
top thinking about revenge
. I
t will only hu
rt you more than they already have
and
then they
’ll win, w
on’t
they? It’s better to forget it about revenge.
”

“I don’t think I can forget that much.”

“Just concentrate on saving my soul
and
figuring out how you’re going to convince God that I’m not destined
for hell,” he suggested with a wink that vanished all thoughts of revenge from my mind.