In a Moon Smile (46 page)

Becca made several attempts to engage Madelyn in light conversation. Deke and Lyle talked sports. Under the table, Chesney patted her sister’s knee, a reminder that she was okay, that she was not alone.

Soon after the guests chose between pumpkin and pecan pie, Deke and Becca said their good-byes. “Such a wonderful meal, Chez,” Deke said with a smile as he helped Becca with her coat. “Thanks so much for inviting us. We hate to take off so soon but…”

“Deke’s sister expects us to stop by,” Becca laughed. “We love being popular.”

As Chesney hugged them both good-bye, Becca whispered a reminder. She was only a few miles down the road, staying with Deke at the cabin. “Call me at any hour,” Becca whispered and Chesney nodded.

She dreaded it, but returned to the table, where the angry members of the Blake family sat in silence with stress etched into their faces.  Alright, fine, she would get the ball rolling. “Okay, so we all know what we are doing and why,” Chesney said. “I think it’s important that we try to be supportive even if we don’t understand.” That comment was meant, of course, for Madelyn.

“I’m still not comfortable with this,” Madelyn said stiffly.

“You don’t have to be comfortable with it,” Charlotte snapped defensively. “It isn’t your decision.”

“It still affects your father and me,” their mother snapped back. “You think we aren’t worried sick? You think we have any way of knowing how to behave about this? Or what to do to help the situation?”

“You don’t have to know what to do,” Charlotte said. “Just be supportive.”

“I’m sick of the flippant way you’re approaching this,” Madelyn snarled.

“Calm down,” Lyle’s voice was dull and worn. “Nothing can be resolved with that tone of voice, Maddie.”

“It’s bad enough that you plan to actually leave your baby, Charlotte,” Madelyn’s eyes narrowed in disgust as she glared at her youngest child. “But then you want to add more worry to the situation by deciding that you’ll leave Piper with Chesney. She has no children. She’s never even done any babysitting. What in the hell are you thinking?”

Chesney rallied her emotional ammunition. Of course, she was concerned about caring for Piper. And yes, it was true that she hadn’t been around children, but this was an important time for Charlotte. And without this break, Chesney was frightened about what might happen to her sister if she didn’t get some time away.

“I don’t understand why you feel compelled to leave your child, Charlotte. Isn’t it enough that poor Cooper is devastated by what you’re doing?” Madelyn slathered the guilt and shame in Charlotte’s direction. Chesney watched her sister react to the words by sinking down in her chair, too weak to stand against their mother’s wrath.

“Don’t,” Chesney said flatly. “Don’t do this, Mom. Charlotte has to work things out on her own. She needs some time alone. We are a family. And a family steps in to do whatever is necessary, without judging.”

Charlotte stifled a sob as Chesney patted her knee under the table.

“We know that none of this means you don’t love your baby, Char,” Chesney said softly. “And we trust you to do what is best for you.” She then glared across the table at their mother and Madelyn remained stoic, but silent. Her lips were a tight, thin line of seething anger.

Chesney was already worrying about tomorrow morning when Charlotte would say good-bye to Piper. Chesney dreaded the moment she and the baby were alone, just the two of them, for however long Charlotte needed to be away.

“At least let us keep the baby,” Madelyn said quietly to Charlotte as she started to clear the dirty dishes. “If she’s with your father and me, Cooper can stop by to visit when he is in town.”

“I want Piper to be with Chesney,” Charlotte said in a near whisper. “And Cooper agrees. Besides, he’s traveling a lot lately with his job.”

With an exaggerated sigh, their mother stomped out of the dining room with her arms filled with plates. Charlotte leaned against the table, trembling. “She beats me to death with her mouth,” Charlotte whispered. “I feel like dirt. She has no idea what I’m going through. And she doesn’t even care. What she cares about is what other people might say.”

“It’s alright,” Chesney whispered. “I don’t expect them to stay here overnight. Mom will announce any minute now that she and Dad are leaving. She’s having a tantrum because she can’t get her way. Don’t worry about it, Char. She’s almost gone.”

As Chesney carried serving bowls to the kitchen, she heard the back door open and close. Out the window, she saw their mother, shivering on the back porch. For a moment, Chesney almost felt sorry for her mother. The Blake family’s very own Statue of Liberty, crying silently on the porch. She was wearing one of Chesney’s flannel shirts over her very expensive pantsuit. Something about the scene made Madelyn Blake look fragile and almost vulnerable. But Chesney knew her mother well. If she stepped out on the porch to offer comfort, Madelyn would strike like a poisonous snake. Chesney’s primary objective was to get their mother out the door and off to the airport with minimal drama. She returned to the dining room and found it empty. Where were their father and Piper? She looked in the parlor and the library. Then she climbed the stairs to the guest room where Piper’s toddler bed now graced the corner by the window.

Lyle Blake was sitting was on the guest bed, with Piper on his lap. While Piper inspected the long strands of a baby doll’s yellow, yarn hair, her grandfather wept.

“It’s alright, Dad,” Chesney said in a whisper as she entered the room.

“No,” he shook his head and turned his face away in shame. “It isn’t alright, Chezzie. Your sister is leaving her baby like my father left me.”

“Char will be back,” Chesney sat down beside him. “I know she will be back, Dad.”

That was not actually the truth. At this particular moment, Chesney had no idea if Charlotte would ever return. Secretly, she braced herself to raise her niece. But she wasn’t willing to say that aloud, not even to herself. She was terrified of the thought, but she was certainly not willing to disclose that, either.

“We failed you girls,” her father said. “Your mother and I, we failed you.”

“Don’t do that,” Chesney said. “Don’t blame our mistakes on yourselves.”

“We must take responsibility,” he said. “You’ve been unable to make a commitment and your sister is leaving her husband and her child.” He dropped his head and stared at his hands. “We must have some responsibility in the decisions you’ve both made.”

“Stop,” Chesney felt like her heart would break. Her eyes teared as she reached for her father’s hand. “Let’s get through this together. Let’s not blame or shame or make it any worse for Charlotte than it has to be. Let’s say good-bye and try to learn from this. Charlotte is in trouble. She needs some time away and that’s not the end of the world.” She took Piper from his lap and smelled the baby’s wispy, baby-scented hair. “We will be fine,” Chesney smiled. “You and Mom and Cooper can visit any time. And when Charlotte works things out, we’ll all begin again.”

“Do you really believe that?” Lyle looked at his daughter with pleading eyes.

“Absolutely,” she lied.

As Chesney predicted, Madelyn announced that she was no longer comfortable at Chesney Ridge. With lots of drama, Madelyn sobbed as she said good-bye to Piper and coldly glared at both daughters before she finally walked out the front door.

Once their parents were gone, Charlotte collapsed on the couch and stared at the ceiling. “I thought they would never get the hell out of here,” she said. “I’ve been holding my breath, hoping to survive Mom’s guilt trips.”

“Cheeky?” Piper scampered toward her aunt with a giant grin on her sweet, round face.

“The way she says my name certainly isn’t very feminine,” Chesney said with a laugh as she scooped Piper into her arms.

“Cheeky dog,” Piper said as she pointed at Blossom.

“That’s right,” Chesney nodded. “That’s Aunt Chesney’s dog. Her name is Blossom. Can you say her name?”

“Bossy,” Piper said sweetly. “Cheeky dog Bossy.”

“Ok, we’ll go with that,” Chesney chuckled. “Cheeky Dog Bossy is code for ‘Chesney’s dog, Blossom.’ Makes perfect sense to me, little Pippa.”

“Why do you call her that?” Charlotte asked.

“I don’t know,” Chesney shrugged. “I guess it’s just a nickname. Remember when I called you Charly Poo? That one didn’t make any more sense than calling Piper Pippa.”

“You’re great with her, Chez,” Charlotte said, still staring at the ceiling as she spoke. “You’ll make a great mom.” With that sentence, Charlotte was sobbing again.

“What is it?” Chesney hurried to get Piper involved with a pile of blocks so she would not see her mother crying.

“I don’t know if I can leave her,” Charlotte said.

“You don’t have to leave her, Char,” Chesney reminded.

“But I do,” Charlotte said with an indignant nod. “I’ve got to get away from everyone and everything so I can think.” Charlotte wiped her face and walked across the room to hold her daughter. “I woke up one day, and I suddenly realized that I’m suffocating,” she whispered. “I’m questioning everything. I feel like I’ve been operating on batteries. I have no idea what I’m doing or what I want.” Charlotte sat down on Grace’s rocker and sang softly until Piper was asleep. As she started up the stairs, Chesney followed with Piper’s favorite blanket in her hand. As Charlotte placed a sleeping Piper on the bed, Chesney tucked the blanket beside her.

Downstairs again, Charlotte poured a glass of wine. “God, that turkey dinner was grueling,” she said. “Mom can be so…”

“Controlling, shaming, judgmental and mean?” Chesney said lightly.

“Umm, yeah, all of those,” Charlotte said.

“She can definitely be a pit bull,” Chesney said. “She wants you to do exactly what she wants you to do. Step out of line, and there’s hell to pay.”

“Maybe it’s because my thirtieth birthday came and went,” Charlotte said. “Maybe it’s because my life has been so damned predictable and perfect. But Chez, I can’t breathe anymore.”

“Do you have a plan?” She sat cross-legged on the couch. “Have you thought about what you want to do?”

“I’m thinking about going to Miami,” Charlotte smiled brightly. For the first time in years, she looked like the sweet little sister Chesney had once adored. “A friend of a friend has invited me to completely redesign her home there,” Charlotte gushed. “I saw photographs. It’s on the beach. It’s a massive home with lots of windows.”

“I’d love for you to revisit your gifts in design, Char,” Chesney said happily. “Remember how you decorated all the rooms on your dorm floor in college? You’ve always been so talented. In fact, I thought about asking you to help me when I moved here, but I…” She stopped talking then and paused.

“What?” Charlotte asked. “What, Chez? You thought I forgot about decorating just because I married Cooper and became Piper’s mother?”

“You never mentioned decorating again,” Chesney shrugged. “So I assumed...”

“Mom wouldn’t allow it.”

“What? You’re thirty years old, Char. What are you talking about? ‘Mom wouldn’t allow it?’”

“You know better than anyone how Mother can be,” Charlotte said. “I spoke very briefly about opening my own business and she blew a gasket. She said I couldn’t possibly be a wonderful mother to Piper and an incredible wife to Cooper if I entertained the thought of…”

“Having something of your own?” Chesney said. She walked across the room to where Charlotte stood, staring blankly at nothing, as if she was lost. “Char, don’t you see? You are a talented, passionate woman. You can be many things. And it’s not Mom’s place to run your life.” She hugged her and tears hurried down Charlotte’s face.

“Do you think I’m a bad mother, Chez? Tell me the truth. Do you think I’m awful for leaving Piper so I can flit off to Miami and decorate a rich old lady’s beach house?”

“No,” Chesney said. “I don’t think you are awful, not at all. I think you’re finally being honest with yourself, Char. I think you’ll be a better mother and a better wife if you listen to your heart and take care of yourself at least half as well as you take care of everyone else.”

They stood in silence again. Chesney patted her sister’s back and stroked her hair.

“Haven’t you ever wondered about why our mother is such a perfect, self-righteous witch, Char?” Chesney asked.

Charlotte giggled through her tears and shook her head.

“Did you know that Mom wanted a career?” Chesney asked.

“I thought
we
were her career,” Charlotte said with an eye roll.

“She wanted to be a model,” Chesney said. “In fact, she was a model before she and Dad were married.”

“You’re kidding,” Charlotte said.

“Nope.”

“I had no idea,” Charlotte said, suddenly thoughtful.

“When you question whether this is a good decision, just think about the fact that you might have treated Piper like Mom treats us,” Chesney said.

“God,” Charlotte sighed. “And Piper might have felt toward me what I feel toward Mom.”

“Seething anger? Resentment? Crazy co-dependence?” Chesney laughed.

“All of the above,” Charlotte said as she wiped her nose.

Together, they walked back upstairs. Charlotte stroked her sleeping child’s hair. “I love her so much, Chez. I really do. I love her with all of my soul.”