In a Broken Dream (The Broken Series Book 4) (12 page)

I
looked at Kimme.

She
slunk down in her seat. “You know I can’t keep anything from him. If Charlie
sees even a hint of puffiness around my eyes, he’s in my office trying to help.”

I
sighed. “You told him everything?”

She
nodded. “I’m sorry, honey, but I thought you could use the prayer power.”

My
eyes strayed to the life size portrait of Jesus that hung over Charlie’s desk. I’d
always considered Charlie’s decision to hang that portrait a bold move,
especially for a state employee. Still, I found it comforting. How could I not,
when I’d grown up with the very same picture in my parents’ house? “The last
few months have been difficult,” I admitted. I met Charlie’s steadfast gaze. “There’s
this constant ache deep down in the marrow of my bones that I don’t think will
ever go away. I feel abandoned, and I’m angry with God.”

Charlie
took another sip of coffee. “We are hard pressed on every side, but not
crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck
down, but not destroyed.”

“Second
Corinthians four, five through nine.” I recalled. Charlie regularly recited the
verse when I was feeling overwhelmed.

He
nodded. “I know you’re hurting and you’re feeling lost. You’re still grieving
Michael. I can see it in your face. I want you to focus on all the good things
God was able to achieve through Michael. Celebrate all that he was able to
accomplish when he froze those investment accounts for that terrorist
organization. Think of all the lives he saved in the process,” Charlie advised.

Tears
welled in my eyes. “I just don’t understand why he had to die. Why couldn’t we
all have just come home safely?”

Charlie’s
eyes softened. “Michael was the only one who arrived home safely that day. His
work was done. The rest of you were not called home because you still have work
to do. How’s his brother, Rafael, holding up?”

“I’m
not sure,” I admitted guiltily. “He doesn’t really talk about it.”

Charlie
tore a chunk off his bagel and chewed it thoughtfully. “Where is he? I thought
he was coming to Montana with you.”

“Dan
took him out to the shooting range so they could blow some stuff up. He thought
a little recreational therapy might help,” Kimme explained. “He’s bringing him
by to meet you in a half hour or so.”

Charlie
smiled. “Good. I’d like to meet him. I have to join a conference call in a few
minutes, but I should be finished up by the time they arrive.” Charlie turned
to face me. “That should give you some time to catch up with everyone else in
the office. I know Ann, Jerry, and Doug are anxious to see you.”

Kimme
and I rose from our seats, our bagels largely uneaten. “I’ll bring Rafael back
to meet you when he arrives,” I assured Charlie.

He
walked around his desk and gave me a hug. “Hang in there, kiddo. I promise you,
God will work this for a greater good.”

I
spent the next forty minutes catching up with my friends. Everyone was aware
that I had been abducted by the SVR and that Michael had died trying to save me
in Ukraine. Their perceptions of Michael had changed significantly, old
animosities disappearing with that one heroic act.

We
were still talking about Ukraine when Dan strode into the office with a smug
look on his face. He pinned me with his gaze. “Let the record show your package
is being delivered with all twenty digits intact.”

I
glanced worriedly at Rafael. “That’s reassuring…”

Dan
commandeered a surveillance point against the far wall. He planted his boots
firmly into the floor when he leaned against the wall. “That was no small feat.
The idiot in the booth next to us managed to blow his big toe off. Thankfully,
there’s a three-eighth inch steel plate lining the bottom of the booths. The
guy cried like a baby. They called for an ambulance and two fire trucks… all
for a big toe that guy’s never gonna get back.”

Rafael
kissed me on the forehead before hooking his arm around my back. “We still
managed to squeeze in quite a few rounds. Dan’s got quite the gun collection.”

Ann
cleared her throat.

I
winced. “Oh, sorry! Rafael, this is Ann. That’s Jerry, standing next to her,
and Doug, leaning against the windowsill.”

Rafael
stepped forward and shook everyone’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“We’re
very sorry for your loss, Rafael… and grateful for everything you’ve done for
Kri,” Ann remarked tearfully. “If there’s anything we can do…”

Rafael
nodded politely. “Thank you.”

Jerry
stepped forward. “Kri’s like family to us. That makes you family too. Please
don’t hesitate to call. We’re here… for both of you.” He handed Rafael his
business card.

Rafael
stared at the card. He seemed surprised by the show of support. He tucked the
card inside his wallet before offering Jerry his business card. “Thanks, Jerry.
That’s very kind of you.”

“I’m
going to take Rafael back to meet Charlie,” I told my friends. “We’ll come back
and say goodbye before we leave.” I linked my fingers with Rafael’s and led him
to Charlie’s office. His door was open.

Charlie
rose from his desk. His silver hair glowed under the harsh office lights,
lending him a somewhat angelic look. “This must be Rafael,” he said with a warm
smile.

Rafael
shook his hand. “Yes, sir. It’s nice to finally meet you, Charlie. Kri’s been
sharing your inspirational messages, prayers, and scripture readings with me.
They’ve helped a lot over the past few weeks.”

Charlie
encouraged us to sit before returning to his seat. “I’m happy to hear that.
I’ve been praying for you. Kimme told me what happened in Ukraine. How are you
holding up?”

“I’m
fine,” Rafael replied gingerly.

Charlie
smiled, but he didn’t say anything. He was waiting for Rafael to elaborate.

Rafael
glanced at me uncertainly.

I
squeezed his hand encouragingly. “Talking to Charlie’s a bit like going to
confession. You’ll feel better if you just lay everything out there.”

Rafael
studied the portrait of Jesus while weighing his response. Finally, he took a
deep breath and released it. His eyes met Charlie’s when he did. “I’m not fine.
I miss my brother. I regret the way things ended between us. I’m angry I
couldn’t save him… that I even allowed him to come to Ukraine in the first
place.”

Charlie
leaned back in his chair. “Michael doesn’t strike me as the sort of man who’d
give you any say in the matter. Did you ask him to go to Ukraine?”

Rafael
shook his head. “No. I told Michael to stay in Paris, but he refused to listen
to me. He insisted on coming.”

Charlie
nodded. “That was his decision to make, not yours. How do you think he would
have handled it if he hadn’t gone and Kri had been killed instead?”

“Not
well,” Rafael confessed.

Charlie’s
gaze was both scrutinizing and kind. “And if you had been forced to stay behind
and hadn’t been allowed to help… how would you have fared?”

“Not
well,” Rafael admitted a bit more grudgingly this time.

“Did
any good come of it?” Charlie asked.

Rafael
looked at me. “Kristine was released.”

“Do
you think your brother regrets his decision?” Charlie inquired softly.

Rafael
shook his head. “No.”

Charlie
looked thoughtful. “Why do you regret the way things ended between the two of
you?”

Rafael
glanced at me again. His voice cracked when he spoke. “Because I was dating the
woman he loved, knowing full well he still loved her.”

“If
I recall correctly, he’s the one who ended that relationship. Do you think he
would have eventually worked things out with Kri?” Charlie asked.

Rafael
shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Charlie
leaned forward and folded his arms against the desk. “I understand why you miss
your brother, but you were in no way responsible for his death. As far as your
regrets, we all have regrets. The only advice I could possibly offer you is to
ask for forgiveness, lay your sins and regrets at the cross.”

Rafael
nodded.

“I’ll
give you the same advice I gave Kri earlier… I want you to focus on all the
good things God was able to achieve through Michael. Celebrate all that he was
able to accomplish in Ukraine and when he froze those investment accounts for
that terrorist organization. Think of all the lives your brother has saved,”
Charlie replied. He paused uncertainly. “May I pray with you?”

“Sure,”
Rafael replied.

Charlie
walked around his desk, kneeled before us, and clasped our folded hands. “May
the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May He send you help from the
sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. May He remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings. May He give you the desire of your heart and
make all your plans succeed. May you be blessed and healed by the love and
power of God the Father, and may He release greater things in and through you
for His glory and honor. Amen.”

Charlie
gave us both a warm hug when we stood. “I want you to do me a favor.”

I
smiled at him through tearful eyes. “Sure, Charlie. What do you need?”

“I’d
like the two of you to start praying together,” he replied.

Rafael
smiled. “Sure. We can do that.”

“Take
care of each other and keep in touch,” Charlie encouraged as we walked out of
the office.

“You
have the most amazing friends,” Rafael remarked when we stepped outside.

I
glanced back at the building that held so many of the people I loved. “That I
do.”

*
* * * *

Rafael
looked thoroughly confused. “Since when do sporting goods stores sell
hairspray?” He tugged open the door to Bob Ward’s.

I
brushed past him with a withering look. “I’m not buying hairspray.”

“But
you said…”

“Bear
spray. B-E-A-R spray.” I stopped abruptly. “You seriously thought I was buying
hairspray?” I started laughing. “We’re hiking. Why would I need hairspray?”

Rafael
chuckled. “I was wondering the very same thing, but I was too afraid to ask.”
His face grew serious as we resumed walking. “Why do we need bear spray?”

I
nudged him toward the camping equipment. “We’re hiking through Grizzly Gulch. Why
do you think we need it?”

He
looked as if he were waiting for the punchline to a really bad joke. “You can’t
be serious. You’re taking me hiking in bear country?”

I
began scouring the shelves. “I think the entire state of Montana qualifies as
bear country. You’re just as likely to encounter one next to the garbage cans
behind Dan’s house as you are on this trail we’re going to be hiking.” I
grabbed a large metal can from the shelf. I quickly located the holster that
would allow me to attach the can to my belt. I started toward the cashier. “I’ve
only run into bear twice on this trail, and those bear were some distance away.
They usually hear us coming and run the other way. Why? Surely you’ve seen a
bear before…”

Rafael
frowned. “No. There are no bear in Portugal. They’re pretty much extinct in my
country.”

My
eyes widened with disbelief. “You’ve never seen a bear?”

He
shook his head. “So, what does the spray do?”

I
set the bear spray and holster on the counter and handed the cashier a wad of
money. “This is a giant can of pepper spray. If we get too close to a bear we
can spray this and temporarily blind the bear so we can run away.”

“Can’t
we just climb a tree?” Rafael asked.

I
shook my head. “Black bears climb trees, and grizzly bears are huge. They can
reach pretty high up when they stand on their hind feet, and they’ll do it
faster than you can climb.” I glanced at the cashier. “Do you guys still have
that grizzly bear mounted in the back of the store?”

He
nodded. “He’s over by the hunting supplies.” He pointed to the far corner of
the store.

I
grabbed Rafael’s hand. “Come with me.”

We
were a good six feet away from the mounted grizzly when Rafael came to an
abrupt stop. “We’re not hiking.”

I
laughed. “Yes, we are.”

He
eyed the bear warily, as if it might suddenly spring to life. “That thing has
got to be close to nine feet tall.”

I
nodded. “Imagine how high it could reach with those arms.”

He
shivered when he got a load of the claws. “We’re not hiking,” he repeated a bit
more assertively.

I
grabbed his arm and tugged him toward the door. “We are too. I’ve hiked Grizzly
Gulch countless times, and I’ve never run into a grizzly, only black bears.”

“Remind
me why we’re doing this,” he insisted as we stepped outside the store.

“The
view is breathtaking and very peaceful,” I replied.

Rafael
didn’t look convinced.